it just keeps moving… and expects you to keep up.

Somewhere in between… you start losing track—

of what you feel, what you hide, what you’re supposed to be.

And then suddenly… there’s someone,

not fixing anything, not asking anything… just there.

And for a moment, everything slows down—

like the noise inside finally finds a pause.

Nothing changes, not really…

but somehow, it doesn’t feel as heavy anymore.

I saw some of you posted about it, so I want to post the translation of it.

+

Cr.: lunarobsidian on twitter

Parasocial relationships refer to the feeling of closeness or connection that viewers may have towards fictional characters or real-life public figures, such as actors, musicians, or politicians. These relationships are one-sided, as the viewer is aware of the character or figure, but they are not aware of the individual existence of the audience member or fan. The term "parasocial" was first coined in 1956 by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl to describe the phenomenon of television viewers developing personal connections to television characters.

Fans of BL series often form strong parasocial relationships with the actors who portray the characters or the characters or the mixture of both, for which I have not been able to find an official term will, therefore, call it "fictionalised actor" to make the distinction easier between the three: actor, fictionalised actor, role.

Here, fictionalised actor is defined as the fantasy version of the actor that fans make up for various reasons and which oftentimes goes hand in hand with the character the actor plays on screen and said character's preferences like love interest, music, food, clothing style, or character traits. The fictionalised actor therefore consists of a mixture of traits of the real personality of the actor, the role(s) he plays, his public image and fantasies the fans have.  It is noteworthy that the fictionalised actor usually completely replaces the real actor in the minds of the fans in these extreme parasocial relationships, something they are not aware of.

These fictionalised actors are not only a product of fans' fantasies in the BL world but are actually wanted and encouraged by fan-service in BL. Fan-service, originally a concept from Mangas, gives fans other versions of their favourite characters that they asked for (Barrett. 2006).

In BL, it means that the actors who play the onscreen couple let fans live in their fantasy world longer by acting to some extent like a couple or at least leave the option open that there could be more between them. It shows in feeding each other, straightening each other's clothes, sitting on each other's lap (usually keeping dynamics that are shown in the series), and answering questions about the status of their relationship or their feelings for each other with non-specific answers that leave a lot of room for interpretation. Fanservice is performed in public events, on stage, in interviews, and also in "behind the scenes" videos or shoots and workshops for the show, creating the illusion that the two actors are really that close behind the scenes. There are ships (two actors that get paired together as a couple or fans want to be one, who have people rooting for this couple) with moderate fanservice, while others go to extremes. Since fanservice makes the company and actors money, there are not many ships who don’t perform any fanservice.

For some fans, the feeling of parasocial relationships with actors can be a positive aspect of their viewing experience, providing them with a sense of connection and community. However, it's also important to remember that these relationships are one-sided and that the actors are not actually aware of the viewer's existence or feelings and that they do not reciprocate in the way the fans want them to. From the actors' point of view, fans remain strangers, especially in large fandoms, and they rarely are able to even name them, and there is no friendship, love relationship, or a personal connection in direction from the actors towards the fans, at least not on a level that surpasses the feeling of "cool, they're my fans and that's why I love them and am thankful."

The phenomenon of parasocial relationships can have an impact on the mental health of fans. Some fans may develop unrealistic expectations of the actors, leading to disappointment and feelings of rejection when the actors do not respond to their messages or comments or when a situation is presented where the reality of the real actor's personality and own wants and needs can't be denied anymore, like officially getting a partner that is not the ship partner, for example. In this case, the love and devotion oftentimes turn to hate either towards the actor, their partners, or both. If the ship-partner's fictional actor personality is part of the fantasy, then this part of the ship often is pitied and morally elevated, while the "culprit" gets the hate.

An example for this would be the reactions to actor Mew Suppasit’s statements on twitter in February 2023 and in interviews more recently. After revealing that he has been in a relationship for a long time and dated someone nearly the whole time while being in ship with Gulf Kanawut, fans accused him of “cheating” on Gulf. Others refused to believe that they are not dating. Mew finally became very direct in his statements and to my knowledge is the only BL actor that has spoken up about it in such an open manner and made a reference to a mental health hotline, for not being able to distinguish between reality and their own delusions anymore.:

“I don’t know what to say. I haven’t talked to him (A/N: Gulf Kanawut) for 2 years now. I apologised to you all, that in the past it’s always been a fan service, because we’ve been brothers.”

“I didn’t know and understand the impact of fan service. I was taught that when answering questions, I answer ambiguously. The day I understood, and stopped for 2-3 years, it still had an effect. I accept and sincerely apologise from my heart. For those who have been uncomfortable because of my tweets, I would like to apologise here.” “Many people are very strange. They want the truth, but if the truth is not what they expected, they keep on telling that I didn’t treat their feelings well. When I don’t speak they want an answer, when it came out they will treat it as fake news. Mental Health Hotline Service 1323.”

(Translation from BLWorldZone)

Admittedly, the MewGulf ship was the one who upped the level for fanservice for the whole BL scene in Thailand. Since then many copy their style or go even beyond what they have done.

Additionally, some fans may develop an obsession with the actors, which can negatively impact their own daily lives and relationships. It's important for fans to understand that these relationships are one-sided and that the actors are not actually aware of their existence or feelings. It's also important to maintain a healthy balance between enjoying the entertainment and maintaining a healthy perspective on reality. Sadly, especially with those very active on social media, this doesn't seem to be the case. This also applies to the distinction between the actor and portrayed character and fictionalised actor.

What might contribute to fans getting lost in their parasocial relationship is the sheer amount of time fans spend online to engage with the fandom/ their ship or idol. A study has found most spend 3 or more hours every day to follow their BL couple, with most of the time being spend on twitter or instagram (Parnpiamkiat. 2019).

When new allegations against Build Jakapan, the actor who plays "Pete" on the show "KinnPorsche," started at the beginning of 2023, many of his fans did not even consider for a second that the claims of him physically abusing his then-girlfriend, accepting expensive gifts, and maybe cheating could be true. Instead, they immediately badmouthed Poi, the one who made the claims, categorically denied that Build would ever date her or even sleep with her, and just... it couldn't be true, none of it. For these fans, the fictionalised actor version of Build is so perfect that even voicing the possibility out loud that there could be some truth to the allegations was/is a declaration of war. Fans went on to investigate online to find proof for his innocence,  sent hate messages to Poi and those they deemed associated with her, insulted Pond and production company BOC, mass reported tweets that they disliked and mass unfollowed those Build fans who voiced that they didn’t want to categorically deny the possibility of there being some truth to the allegations. The settlement statements both Poi and Build posted were then interpreted as “she admitted she lied about everything” and “he was proven innocent by the court”. Since new allegations in form of leaked private chats recently (June/July 2023) arose, the cycle is currently repeating itself and things are escalated even further, since fans now try to get every mention of the chats taken down, even on news sides reporting about it, to prevent their idol from further damage to his image.

The words of the idols themselves directed are there fans are often dismissed, if they don’t fit the idea of what the fictionalised actor wants. MileApo fans showed a while ago when Mile and Apo spoke up and told everyone that they like it that all the other actors get work as well and get promo deals. "We don't care even if they say it themselves" was a common opinion on Twitter shortly after. Why? Because the opinion of the real people (actors) clashed with fans' idea of what the fictionalised actors want (more cried out and started an uproar that MileApo don't get enough attention from BOC and not enough promo deals and screen-time). It clearly showed that ultimately it's not about the real people for the fans, but only about the fictionalised versions of them. The perceived need of the fictionalised actors, here more jobs and screen-time for the fans, outweighed the actual statements of the actors for these fans. A similar behaviour can be seen in the Build and Bible fandom. Both actors asked their fans to refrain from spreading hate against others, namely BOC or CEO Pond. Since their tweets in May 2023 things have escalated even further and their pleas are all but forgotten, even if they get retweeted from time to time, just so the next tweet of the same account is full of hate once more.

However, in the fans’ minds they always know exactly what the fictionalised actors want, feel, and think in each situation:

In the fans' minds, the fictionalised actors here (Zee and Nunew) just can't wait to kiss each other in front of the cameras again, even when it's for their roles (Lian and Kuea) and therefore the fictionalised actors get to decide how they kiss. The reality on set, that each kiss is shot multiple times with lots of people around and the angle is more important than everything else and gets corrected and the kisses are choreographed, has no place in the fans' minds. The parasocial relationship they have with the fictionalised actor is too strong to accept the reality of what shooting a kissing scene looks like.

How much fans love and adore the fictionalised actors, this tweet shows very clearly:

This fan claims that they love the fictionalised version of the actor as much as their own kids and even think of the actor when they hug their kids. It puts the fictionalised actor in a position equal or even higher than the real family members, even one's own children when it comes to perceived feelings of love and affection.

Another aspect that goes hand in hand with the previously mentioned emotional attachment of the parasocial relationship is that fans often claim to get happiness or emotional wellbeing from said fictionalised actor. "He saved me," "he brought me back from the dark," and so on are often used to describe how important that relationship is for the fans, without realising that there is no actual exchange of any kind happening. Things actual people could provide like long talks, hugs, encouragement, closeness, etc., are not taken into consideration, and instead, the focus is put on a smile, a cute look, or a funny moment from the actor, that is not aimed at that specific fan.

The projection of general actions or random moments as meaningful, full of hidden messages or clues is also common. Simple things like the colour of clothes, a song, background decorations, the use of a specific word, or a gesture are turned into messages that only the real fans can decipher, and of course, the fictionalised actor knows that and leaves these easter-eggs for his fans. There are really no limits to what can become meaningful in the eyes of the fans.

In turn, the fans attach nicknames to the fictional actors that represent the perceived character of the fictionalised actor. From husband, my boyfriend, my baby, my son, my daddy.... everything is game. Of course, the baby is someone cute, innocent, and docile, the son someone young(er), and so on. Infantilisation of Bl actors, who are grown, adult men, seems very common.

In times of crisis in the fandom, what is also common is the claim that the third wall gets broken, usually by an anonymous close friend of the fictionalised actor, who can't be named, and who sends out messages to very important fans to be passed on to the other fans. These messages usually emphasise on how important the fans are and that they should keep holding out and keep doing what they are doing, even if it is diametrically opposed from a message from the real actor.

While this is harmless in a way that it only elevates the status of this one fan and brings them closer to the fictionalised actor in the eyes of other fans, there have been times when these parasocial relationships turned dangerous. In the KinnPorsche fandom, fans have shown up at restaurants and BOC offices unasked and invaded the actors' private time. For Billkin, the actor and singer who played "Teh" in "I told sunset about you," it got scary when fans followed him several days in their car to his home and basically stalked him. It lead to him confronting them and calling the police and his management.

In conclusion, there are harmless parasocial relationships that mainly create happiness for the fans. However, in times when the fandom is in crisis or when fans completely lose the sense of what is real and what is not, things quickly escalate online as well as in real life for the actors and people associated with them. Then boundaries are crossed, common decency and reason leave the building, and extreme reactions are shown. That's when the parasocial relationships become dangerous for the physical and mental wellbeing of other fans, the actors, people associated with the actors, or those who brought up things against the actors. It is important to mention that these extreme reactions are also damaging to fans and fandoms themselves because one "miss-step," and fans turn on each other or they get shown the consequences in the form of blockings (online or from events) or even restraining orders and lawsuits like in the case of those fans who endangered Billkin's safety on the road.

This is a revised and updated version of an original post by blrambling on tumblr

Sources: Barrett, G. (2006). The Official Dictionary of Unofficial English. McGraw-Hill.

BLWorldzone. (2023).“Mew Suppasit’s “Fan Service” Response To Fans”.Online: https://blworldzone.wordpress.com/2023/02/15/mew-suppasits-fan-service-response-to-fans/

Horton, D.; Wohl, R. (1956). "Mass communication and para-social interaction: Observation on intimacy at a distance". Psychiatry. 19 (3): 215–229. Online: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00332747.1956.11023049

I'm so thankful for the community I've found here, the shows I've loved, the people I've shared them with and Mr Cinderella coming out on the first day of Hanukkah!

Any way, no matter where you might be and whether or not today is a holiday for you, I'm thankful that you're here, that you're watching BL and that you read my nonsense and enjoy it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

May the season treat us well.

Also, very thankful for 2022, the year of the gay mafia.