#bkdkwinterweek

Deku blinks those big eyes up at him a couple of times.

"Oh, hi Kacchan," he says with a small smile. "I didn't hear you come in."

Katsuki snorts. That much was obvious. Climbing over the end of the couch, he crawls up to Deku, pushing his knees apart to settle between them, unceremoniously dropping the notebook and pen he takes from Deku to the floor.

"Hey, wait, I was--"

Katsuki silences what was coming next by pressing his mouth to Deku's. He suddenly feels a lot better, but there's still room for improvement.

He lifts his mouth and body off Deku's just enough that he has room to tug at the sweater to get to the delicious, warm skin beneath.

"Kacchan, please be careful," Deku mumbles.

"Careful about what? You're not as breakable as you used to be."

Even with Deku helpfully lifting his hips to free the bit of sweater stuck under his ass, Katsuki has to work hard to get it off him. It's caught underneath him, but one last tug--

"What... What was that?”

Deku sits up properly now, dislodging Katsuki from his lap even as he reclaims the sweater from him with shaky hands, a steady stream of "No, no, please no" rising from his lips.

"What's gotten into you?" Katsuki asks, frowning.

"It felt like..."

He falls silent as his fingers find the large rip on the back, longer than Katsuki's hand, multiple strands of frayed wool hanging loose. His expression is one of pure grief; Katsuki's stomach twists unpleasantly.

"I asked you to be careful," Deku murmurs, and Katsuki knows that tone of voice. Years ago, it'd have been accompanied by tears. Deku doesn't cry so much anymore... But it doesn't make things any better when he's really upset. He just clams up, and fuck knows what Katsuki can do to fix it when it happens.

"It's just a cheesy old sweater, " he mutters. "I'll get you one from my merch line. Better quality and better colors."

His pointed look dares Deku to protest that--they once spent a very pleasant night arguing about costume colors in between rounds of fucking, and Katsuki wouldn't mind a repeat. But when he crawls back up Deku's body again, when he slides a hand over Deku's ridiculously tight abs, Deku slaps his hand away and shimmies out from under Katsuki until he can stand, still clutching the mangled sweater.

"It was Toshinori's," he says in a cold voice, glaring at Katsuki.

It's so rare to see Deku direct actual anger toward him that Katsuki's old defenses go back up instantly. Stinging words fall from his lips before he even knows he's speaking.

"Stealing from other people's closets? And here I thought you only stole my clothes. I guess I'm not that special, huh?"

Deku's gaze hardens just a little more, and Katsuki almost expects lightning to start coursing over his body. His voice is cold enough that it could put IcyHot's quirk to shame.

"He gave it to me. It was sample merch that never got mass produced because it was handmade and too complicated to bring to market. He kept it because he said it fit him in both his forms. He thought I'd get a kick out of having it in my collection, so when he was cleaning up his things before ... He gave it to me. And you just ruined it when I asked you to be careful. But it's not like you've ever cared about my stuff anyway, is it?"

It hurts.

It hurts because it's true--or was true. Watching Deku walk away, listening to his heavy feet and the banging of their bedroom door, Katsuki can't help but remember other instances when he broke or destroyed Deku's things just because he could. The fact that today it was an accident doesn't make it any less his fault.

Katsuki groans and runs a hand over his face. He really fucked up.

He'd like nothing more than to follow Deku and not let him walk away from him--how things have changed… But then what? 'Sorry' doesn't feel like it'd be nearly enough, and Katsuki doesn't know what else he's supposed to say.

Tired steps take him to the kitchen. He stands in front of the open fridge for a while before pulling out the ingredients for katsudon. He's really not in the mood to cook, but he doesn't know what else to do.

He's just about done frying the pork and already filling up two bowls when slow steps come up behind him. He glances back at Deku, who stands there in a t-shirt inscribed with the words 'boyfriend shirt', his hands in his pockets.

"I'm so--" he starts, but Katsuki doesn't let him finish.

"Swear to god, Deku, if you try to apologize I'm shoving my foot up your ass."

Deku frowns at him.

"That's what grow-ups do, Kacchan. When they say something ugly or something they don't mean, or when they do something they shouldn't, they apologize."

"And what good does that do?" Katsuki mutters as he tops the bowls of food with the pork cutlets and places both on their small kitchen table. "Words won't knit your sweater back together. Sit down."

Taking his own advice, he draws a chair and sits. He fiddles with his chopsticks until Deku sighs and sits across from him.

"Itadakimasu," he says quietly, his eyes on his food.

Katsuki grunts in reply and watches him take a couple of bites before he asks, his voice tight and low, "Can it be repaired?"

Deku shrugs a little, and briefly looks up.

"I doubt it. It's a big rip. It's my fault, I noticed a loose bit of wool before and I didn't do anything about it. I should have fixed it then."

And it's just so completely <i>Deku</i> to take the blame for something that wasn't his fault that Katsuki doesn't know whether he wants to kick him or kiss him. In the end, he lightly kicks his shin under the table, and when Deku glares up at him, he mumbles, not quite meeting Deku's eyes even as his cheeks heat up, "'M sorry. For ripping your sweater and for what I said."

Deku's foot finds his again for something that feels more like a caress than a kick.

"The food's delicious," he says softly. "Thank you."

And Katsuki knows he's forgiven--just as well as he knows he doesn't deserve to be. Not yet.

*

Seven months later

This year again, they set up a Christmas tree.

All right, so Izuku sets up a Christmas tree while Kacchan sits there and watches. At least this time he doesn't say it's a silly tradition, though he did insist that Izuku only set it up the night before Christmas. Seeing how busy they've both been lately, Izuku doesn't think he'd have found the time to set it up sooner regardless.

And besides, Kacchan never said when it's got to come down...

Izuku just likes the lights twinkling when the room is dark at night. And he likes finding hero-themed ornaments to hang from the branches. He has four All Might ones on there, each in a different costume. He doesn't despair of finding one for EraserHead someday. He has a Froppy one and a Uravity one--they're not licensed merch, just handmade figures created by a fan he found online. He's got an official Shouto ornament--well, really it's a collectible figure meant to sit on a shelf, Izuku just looped a bit of string around Shouto's outstretched hand... and he makes sure to hang it way in the back, so Kacchan won't roll his eyes and pout every time he looks at the tree.

There's also a licensed Dynamight ornament on there, and Izuku makes sure to put it front and center. Kacchan absolutely loathes it, because whoever sculpted it gave him a smile--a nice, soft smile, the kind of smile Izuku is the only one lucky enough to receive. Which is why Izuku loves it. And why he bought seven of them, the replacements stashed in a secure place just in case this one 'mysteriously' disappears.

After hanging up another handful of ornaments--they're minor heroes, but Izuku has had the chance to work with each of them--he stands back to admire his work. A little behind him, Kacchan grabs a fistful of his t-shirt and pulls until Izuku, laughing, stumbles back and into his lap. Kacchan's arms immediately wrap around him, holding him where he is--not that Izuku has any other place to be.

"What do you think?" he asks happily, watching the multicolor lights blink on and off randomly.

Kacchan grunts. "Don't think I didn't notice you hiding Candycane in the back. You should put a real candy cane on there, it'd look nicer."

Clucking his tongue, Izuku taps the thigh underneath his own.

"Be nice," he admonishes. "Or I'll put two of yours on there."

A huff against the base of his neck sends shivers down Izuku's spine.

"It doesn't need another one of me on there," Kacchan mutters. "But it could use one of you."

Izuku wouldn't mind, but his agency isn't like Kacchan's. They don't really do merch there--which Izuku is fine with, he agrees with his boss that the important part is to be a hero, not to sell stuff, and he's about to remind Kacchan of that when something small and green dangles in his peripheral vision. With some difficulty, he lifts his eyes from the tree and looks at...

Himself.

Or, well, a version of himself.

The figure dangling from Kacchan's fingers on a silver string is just three or four inches tall, but the details on it, from the costume to the pose to the expression on the face, are all exquisite. Whoever sculpted this--is it clay? It looks like glazed clay--did an awesome job.

And gave Izuku an absolutely feral expression.

Izuku doesn't know whether to laugh or squeal or just turn around and kiss Kacchan.

"It's a little Deku!" he exclaims, then laughs as he takes the figure in his hands. "A really angry little Deku!"

"Bet he's angry because Dynamight has been hanging in that tree with all these extras without him. You should put him up there."

Izuku is happy to do so, but not before turning In Kacchan's lap and stealing a kiss... or maybe even two.

Then he practically bounces to the tree and carefully hangs up his figure next to Kacchan's. They're the same size and fit perfectly together. It makes Izuku wish they'd get to fight side by side more often. Maybe some day, he thinks wistfully, they'll open an agency together. They've talked about it a few times, but they're still rookies, barely out of school, and while they technically <i>could</i>, they both agreed it was too soon.

"I love my present, Kacchan," Izuku says as he turns back to his boyfriend. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Kacchan says, "but it's not your present. This is."

His fingers drum on the top of the plain white box that definitely wasn't next to him on the couch just a second ago. Izuku tilts his head, wishing one of his quirk was X-ray vision or something. His fingers itch and he doesn't dare take a step forward.

"Do you want to put it under the tree with yours?" he says softly.

Kacchan shakes his head.

"Come here," he says. "Open it."

Izuku doesn't move.

"But Christmas is only tomorrow," he protests, his voice sounding weak even to his own ears.

Kacchan's lips stretch on a wicked grin. "Have it your way. I'll open it, then, and keep it for my--"

Before he can finish or slide his fingers under the edge of the box, Izuku plops himself back down on his lap and draws the box onto his knees. Laughing, Kacchan encircles his waist with his arms again and rests his chin on Izuku's shoulder, watching as he lifts the top of the box and reveals a familiar pattern and colors: All Might's costume.

It takes a good two or three seconds before Izuku recognizes the equally familiar ridges of knitted wool. His breath catches in his throat and he very slowly, very carefully lifts what he knows is a sweater out of the box.

It's his sweater. He knows it is, because there's a small, black spot of indelible ink near the collar; it was already there when Izuku got it.

It's the sweater he's kept in the bottom drawer of his dresser for the past few months, unable to wear it anymore without aggravating the rip but unwilling to put it away for good.

But when he turns it around, the rip is gone. And if Izuku didn't know exactly where to look, he probably wouldn't notice the repaired area. Everything matches, from the color of the wool to the pattern of the knitting. The only thing is that the wool seems a little newer in that area, less fuzzy than the rest, but that's only because Izuku knows what he's looking at.

"Kacchan," he breathes, but doesn't know what else to say.

"Is that all right?" Kacchan asks, his voice tight. "I mean, I know I should have asked first before touching your stuff, but then it'd have ruined the surprise."

"It's..." Izuku's throat feels too tight. He clutches the sweater to his chest. "It's perfect. Thank you."

After Kacchan kisses the back of his head, he manages to ask, "But... how? I looked for shops that repair knitted things but I didn't find anything."

Kacchan mumbles something; Izuku isn't quite sure he hears right. "You... what?"

"I learned to knit," Kacchan repeats a little louder, sounding embarrassed of all things. "My parents work with this old woman sometimes, she knits samples of their designs for them and then they have factories recreate the stuff. I asked her if it was fixable, and when she said yes I asked if she'd teach me how. I wanted to have it ready for your birthday but that shit took longer than I expected. I just finished last week."

Izuku understands all the words individually but he struggles to make sense of them all together. Shifting on Kacchan's lap, he turns to look at him, and is surprised to find him red-faced.

"You learned to knit?" he asks, unable to keep an edge of awe from his voice.

"I messed up your sweater," Kacchan mutters. "Wanted to fix the damn thing." Rather than looking at Izuku, he rests his forehead against Izuku's collarbone and talks against his t-shirt. "There's a lot of stuff I can't fix, but that, at least--"

He didn’t know how long he’d been unconscious for, but when he awoke, the first thing he did was scream Izuku’s name. His body was shivering, with freezing stinging pains, lips chapped and dry. Damn how long had they been under?! Katsuki couldn’t move any part of his body because the snow was so compact, it was like being encased in cement. Fuck no, he wasn’t dying here! He fought against the cold bindings, screaming and cursing, wriggling but it was no use. Adrenaline kicked in. His temperature was dropping too quickly to produce sweat, but thankfully one gauntlet had not been ripped from his arm. Katsuki created a flurry of tiny explosions, each one melting the snow around him. First his arm, torso, and as he created more space, he could add body movement to fight against the enclosure until finally, he could see light.

With a last desperate push, he dug himself out and popped out the top of the snow drift, heart dropping the instant he broke free. The entire landscape had changed. Where once they been standing was a deep layer of snow and only tops of trees remained visible. Katsuki screamed for Izuku as he scrambled on top of the dense snow field. Over and over, praying to find his friend before hypothermia set in. Izuku’s body didn’t have the same reserves as his did, so he knew the man’s chances were lower for survival.

“Izuku?!?!? Talk to me!!!!”

Fuck this was all his fault! If his friend died, it was his fault! His own stupid reckless behaviors taking the life of Izuku would kill him too.

And that’s when he sees it a few yards away, two gloved fingers barely sticking out of the snow that weren’t moving.

“Izuku?! Fuck! Fuck!” Katsuki trudged towards the man’s position, slowed considerably when his legs sunk into the white powder. He screamed and blasted little explosions of heat in his path to melt what he could. It was excruciatingly slow! “Izuku! Izuku!”

Once he reached the location, he dug furiously at the snow encasing Izuku. Tossing clumps of white left and right, growing more and more angry and frustrated as it collapsed back into the hole he dug. Katsuki got as far as the man’s waist and started to tug with all his might to pull him out. But as precious minutes ticked by, even this took a herculean effort. Izuku was an unconscious dead weight whose legs were pinned by the compacted snow.

He tried not to focus on the bad signs, the blue tinged lips and ears, cold— cold skin and shallow breathing. So instead, Katsuki keyed in on how serene the man looked in the sleep-like state, or how the ice crystals sparked on the tips of Izuku’s eyelashes. “Don’t worry, Izuku, I’m gonna get you outta here. Y-You’ll be fine. Y-You’re gonna be fine, I promise to god you’ll be fine! So stay the fuck with me! Do you hear me Izuku, don’t you dare die on me or I’ll... I’ll...” Katsuki couldn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t even know why he was talking to an unconscious man, maybe it was for himself? To be like Izuku, right? Think positively! They were heroes! And heroes don’t give up hope!

Okay, now what? Katsuki quickly assessed the situation. He’s only got one gauntlet, so he hoisted Izuku onto his other shoulder and used the free hand to blast his way into the air. It was a bitch to stick to a direction, but through sheer determination he kept going. They’d been close to the mountain summit and the nearest town was at its base 3 miles down. When he sensed his reserves hit the half way point, Katsuki switched tactics and found a fallen log to use like a snowboard. “We’re almost there,” he talked as he glided, “so stay with me Izu!” The man had started to shiver on his shoulder. Was that a good sign since he hadn’t been earlier? Fuck, he should have paid better attention during disaster training. “Hold on Izuku...”

The hospital kept Izuku in a semi-induced coma while his body healed. He had a couple of fractured ribs, tissue damage in his neck along the vertebrae similar to whiplash, as well as the lingering affects of moderate hypothermia. The doctors told Katsuki, his quick actions had saved the man before the affects could have been worse, but that didn’t make the hero feel any better. It was his recklessness that put Izuku in this predicament in the first place.

For two days Katsuki stayed by Izuku’s bedside holding his hand, waiting for any change. On the morning of the third day, they’d taken the man off the respirator and sedatives but he remained asleep. Doctors assured Katsuki that this was normal and he’ll be okay. It still hurt to see Izuku like that, wrapped in thermal blankets with tubes and wires, all the monitors beeping in an otherwise silent room like a judgmental siren. Always reckless... how many times had he been berated and chastised by teachers, mentors, media for charging in without thinking.

Late that evening after Katsuki had started to doze off in his chair, he felt it, the soft squeeze of his hand. He lifted his head to see no change in Izuku’s position, eyes still closed. But there it was a second time, a little stronger than the first.

“Deku?” Katsuki squeezed back.

“Kacchan...” it was faint from Izuku’s lips like a whispering breeze.

“I’m here, Deku,” Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the building tears. It felt so damn good to finally hear his friends voice again.

“I heard you... Kacchan. You called me by my name... it was so nice. I knew I’d be okay when I heard it.”

Katsuki thought back to the things he’d said back on the mountain. At the time it was all about getting his friend to safety that he hadn’t realized, that’s right... he didn’t call the man Deku for once— he’d called him by his real name. He squeezed Izuku’s hand tightly as the trapped moisture spilled from the corners of his eyes. He grit his teeth as he spoke to hide the fact he was crying. “Y-Yeah, I did. You know I always got your back.”

“Mmhmm,” Izuku smiled as he settled back into his slumber.