May 17
~beauty standards~
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~beauty standards~
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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We all deserve a little anarchy right now as a treat <3
My little positivity guys! I made these little guys to make occasional positivity comics with, you can probably tell I was inspired by work like dinosandcomics and chikn nuggit
Hmmm π€π§...
Practicing Shadows and things Day 1 , it was kinda fun. I want to refine things next time but this was low pressure. I think I need low pressure and to just wing it lol. The sketch is horrible lol, his face is longer than the reference, but I was trying to focus on painting and seeing what I understood.
Glitch Techs - BITT pixel art
BITT: You keep me around because I am running all this facility's essential Glitch-related tasks.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Gouache paintings from the week. Very fun definitely going to keep playing around.
I realize, with all the work I've been doing, the one thing that is hanging on is the struggle to take up space. With that I suppose confidence is still a bit shaky. With gender identity so intertwined it makes sense.
Often I question whether I've talked too much, I've mentioned myself too much, I've not prioritized the subject or the other person enough. Maybe I've said something embarrassing.
I want to not care, in the grand scheme no one truly cares, I think the only way to fix this is to take up so much space there is no room to feel the embarrassment or even if it's something I can't avoid, I learn to ignore. I used to shrink myself and therefore not have opinions, wants or needs. This lack of needs felt like accommodating the space others take up, to lift others up I shrunk. This also helped to skew the narrative so that I was more likeable and therefore valuable. Masking. Someone on socials said this is a form of manipulation. It definitely opened my eyes.
I want to figure out what it looks like for me to take up all the space. To leave little room for others and feel good when I hype me and my accomplishments. To be able to voice emotions and opinions and not apologize. To feel settled in my skin and afford myself pride, when I talk for a little too long, laugh a little too loud, stim a bit too hard.
I want to fill a room.
Today I walked out my door on my 8am walk with my dog and felt so good. I'm releasing a lot this year in the first few weeks alone. Don't get me wrong, this work as been happening for longer than this but it just felt so good for once.
It felt good to know I'm on my path and it's mine. I feel so free in this moment, I want the rest of my life to be like this.
My baby steps are setting me up for this feeling forever. It's not euphoria, but it's just self awareness in a way I never had before. Like I'm slowly fitting into my skin suit and it's pretty dope. I look at my face before I left and I just smiled, I miss the old me sometimes but this new me is handsome as fuck babeh!!!