#bisexual analysis unit

EMILY: Stopped and searched at the security checkpoint because she forgot she was wearing an ankle holstered gun. Is the person who kicks your seat and hogs the armrest because gay people do not know how to sit on a chair properly.

JJ: Is the one having her armrest hogged by Emily. Opens a packet of peanuts and gives someone an allergic reaction. Should have stuck with Cheetos…

TARA: “It’s okay, I’m a doctor! Not a doctor of medicine, but I’m sure I can figure it out!”

PENELOPE: Watches movies on her tablet and eats M&M’s like the little iPad kid she is, eventually falling asleep on Morgan’s shoulder during ‘Legally Blonde’.

MORGAN: Shamelessly flirting with the flight attendants and trying to hide the fact that he is watching ‘Legally Blonde’ over Penelope’s shoulder—and loving it.

HOTCH: Reading FBI case files in his sunglasses, not noticing the kid who has been staring at him the whole time thinking ‘damn, James Bond be on this flight.’

SPENCER: Talking to that same kid and his mother, explaining aerodynamics and discussing plane crash statistics. The kid’s mother requests a seat change.

ELLE: Lets Spencer explain aerodynamics to her instead. She swaps her red jello for his orange jello from the airplane meal because red is his favourite.

EMILY: Won’t that be a little cramped?

SPENCER: *shrugs* You appear to be managing just fine in your closet.

EMILY PRENTISS

Emily was a keen participant in the Exchange Student Program and a member of Model UN. She was voted ‘Most Likely to Flee to a Foreign Country’. Her favorite subjects were French and Social Studies. Her friends described her as ‘witty, defiant, and a little terrifying’.

“When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into the ground so they can let me down one last time.”

JENNIFER 'JJ' JAREAU

Prom Queen JJ was co-captain of the Soccer Team. She was voted ‘Miss Congeniality’. Her favorite subjects were Phys Ed and English Literature. Her friends described her as ‘sweet, compassionate, and athletic’.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. - Wendy Mass”

SPENCER REID

Spencer was president of the Chess Club and was Mathletes team captain. He was voted ‘Most Likely to Either Cure Cancer or End the World’. His favorite subjects were AP Math and AP English Literature. His peers described him as ‘quiet, awkward, and freakishly intelligent.’

“Iodine (I), Holmium (Ho), Phosphorus (P), Electron (e-), Thorium (Th), Iodine (I), Sulfur (S), Phosphorus (P), Lanthanum (La), Cerium (Ce), Boron (B), Uranium (U), Radon (Rn), Sulfur (S).”

PENELOPE GARCIA

Penelope was president of the IT Club and founder of the school’s AV Club. She was voted ‘Most Likely to Hack the FBI’. Her favorite subjects were AP Computer Science and Home Economics. Her friends described her as ‘cheerful, friendly, and geeky.’

“Remember that email you didn’t send to 10 people? Mark my words, that will come back to bite you.”

DEREK MORGAN

Prom King Derek was the quarterback of the school Football Team and volunteered for the school’s Basketball Team for At-Risk Youths. He was voted ‘Most Likely to Succeed’. His favorite subjects were History and Psychology. His friends described him as ‘smooth, supportive, and charismatic.’

“Shoutout to my hallway crushes, you know who you are.”

ELLE GREENAWAY

Class President Elle was a member of the Track Team and the Debate Team. She was voted ‘Hottest Student’. Her favorite subjects were AP Gov and Philosophy. Her friends described her as ‘assertive, ambitious, and desirable.’