#binxiboy

I TRIED TO PREORDER IT SO THAT IT WOULD ARRIVE YESTERDAY but it wasn’t available yet so I probably won’t have it until next week now. D: But I’m impatient/terrified of seeing a spoiler and want to read it ASAP so I downloaded the audiobook and I’m listening to it. I’m up to Chapter 5!

SPOILER BELOW THE CUT 

//My Nicolas actually has a thread with @merciful-death‘s Louis where they met by accident in the 1970s and ended up having a kind of...relationship, if that’s the word you want to use. 

You can find it here:

i understand what you’re saying about antoine, even if i don’t necessarily completely agree with the whole father/son thing. but then again i don’t really have an opinion on that character, so i don’t have much to say about him either. just that, as all vampire relationships seem to be, i think it’s pretty ambiguous.   

but yeah, it’s a little more complicated than that, right? lestat “loves” a lot of different people for a lot of different things. and yes, it’s made abundantly clear that he considers louis his “one” in some form or another (like when anne rice posted in character as him to say that if he could only have one other person with him for the rest of time, then he would choose louis). 

but lestat loves nicki equally in my opinion, or at least what they were together (like how he talks about their “Golden Moments” with so much affection in tvl). and i think had that relationship not ended with no chance for reconciliation, because nicki was damned to go insane as a vampire from the start (or so it’s implied), he would’ve retained his status as lestat’s “one.” if they remained mortal, for example, and nicki didn’t build up so much resentment towards him for abandoning their life together 

but that’s what happened; he hated lestat for it and then died as a result of simply knowing him. 

and i think it’s safe to say that’s part of the reason lestat chose louis in the first place, because he was so like his lost love, but also not in a lot of ways - ways that counted. after all, louis survived. louis came back to him and forgave him  

so, i don’t think it’s a matter of loving louis “most” so much as having had the time and opportunity to get to that point. 

i’ll sum my opinion up like this: lestat loves louis in a different, albeit, similar way to how he loved nicki, because louis and lestat exist as their own separate entity to nicki and lestat, and so it isn’t fairly comparable. therefore, it’s hard for me to rank them like that and i actively try to avoid doing so  

//I’m going to answer this as Lestat, even though it seems like you’re asking the mun. 

It isn’t a question of who I love ‘most.’ That’s not what love is about, and that’s not how love works. 

Nicolas was my first love. And, no matter how it ended, it will always be dear to me because it was the first. Because Nicki was the first person to see me, to want me, to love me without asking me to be someone else, first. 

Louis, however, is...well, if there were a such thing as soulmates, it would be he. Louis is my beginning and end, he is the moon to my sun, my constant foil and ever-present balm to my soul. 

Louis challenges me, Louis forces me to be better. Louis fights me where I need fighting. Louis laughs with me and soothes me and knows the taste of my tears.