#binarycynergies

2017 Flew too quickly. 

I’m now a Mrs Ng (though I don’t call myself that LOL). 

Thoughts?

It’s actually a similar feeling (the love did not change) before and after marriage, just that now I spend almost 90% of my time outside of work together with him. But that doesn’t change the fact I still love the people around me. I still love God (and actually even more). 

Quarrels still happen, but that’s how we grow to extend our hearts to accommodate and learn to love someone unconditionally.

Still thankful for all the friends and family who chose to grace my marriage; I really cannot thank you more. It’s because of your individual presence that made the day even more special. 

And it’s nice to know that some of you converted to Coldplay fans after our wedding as well. 

The most important part of the wedding? It’s to stand in front of God to be wedded with this one. 

2018..  - God planted a simple plan for me, and I can’t wait to embark on it. 

Next up: 

- Wedding Photographer 

Because binny thinks that our wedding has to be the very best with 100% flexibility and getting the best value , we decided not to go with a wedding package last year. 

And I got my first dress! It’s a designer trumpet gown from Oleg Cassini and it’s a beauty. My intention was to get married like literally at this timing but we dragged it a little too long. Thus our wedding is going to be held next year instead. 

Soooo since it’s all Alecarte, we basically have to source everything ourselves. 

(1) Solemnisation decor:

- We’re thinking of getting a mega big cross for the middle of our podium for our ROM / solemnization. But obviously it’s not going to be easy to get one in Singapore, so we’re going to make it ourselves. 

- Wedding arch - going to DIY it as well!

- Wedding aisle - thinking of maybe getting a full stretched calligraphy written (obviously written by myself lol) aisle with a stretch of long cloth. hmmm

(2) Wedding bands - TBC

(3) Wedding locations - settled! all on one day @ Sheraton Towers.

(4) florals + car decor - TBC. 

(5) Wedding dress - Oleg dress! Going to Blessed Brides this weekend to take a look at their dresses. Maybe we’ll be getting a secondary dress + night gown. 

Went to Lunapompom last week and Shenny was seriously the nicest person around. I really support her! Didn’t find the perfect dress here though. Tried my dream dress, the Watters wtoo penelope gown. But my dad thinks it looks as if I’m wearing nothing so goodbye my dream dress :( 

(6) Tailored suit - for binny. Don’t mind spending a ton if it’s something he’ld wear again for every other event in his life lol. TBC but I don’t think it should be a problem. 

(7) Pre-wedding Photographer - Contemplating film photographers due to the dreamy feel. NW* . And then there’s AD Photographer - TBC

(8) Videographer - Lydiee recommended her very own videographer, which I think I might take up as well! SK*

(9) MUA - Lydiee recommends - her friend who’s still a student but very talented! Might consider her!

(10)  honeymoon location is settled!! Just need the plane ticks :) 

(11) other stuff to think about.. including musicians, emcess, guodali stuff, printing of invitation cards, wedding album, bridesmaid / groomsmen clothes + goodies + corsages, additional wine for the banquet, banquet decor @ the door as well as inside at the tables and stage... tea ceremony cups, angbao box, ROM justice of peace, guestbook, angbaos... hairdresser/ facial / manicure.. wedding rehearsal 

(12) oh yes and wedding shoes. lol 

(13) a hen’s night just with my sisters, who have been with me for the past 24 years of my life

...

My phone works, miraculously!! 

Indeed a work by the hands of our powerful God :) Yay to saving $300!!

Sidetrack/updates

- Invisaligns have been changed, and now it’s going to be the most important step where my bug teeth finally gets pushed in!

- Binny’s mouse has died, luckily it’s still under warranty! But the process is taking a little too long so he got impatient and got pissed like a little cry baby haha. Gave him my mouse instead for the time being. Having buttons at the side indeed does make things waaaay more convenient imo. Don’t know how to live without it now that we’re so used to them. 

- Selling my secondary dress on carousell! http://carousell.com/p/66637488 kinda because my mom personally doesn’t like the dress :( and further alterations must be done as well (which would be +100$?). Guess she wants 

Wah seriously I have no idea how to start. Please do not judge me for typing this (because yes my eyes should be on the future, my one true love, my man. Binny has given me permission to vent my thoughts here on my personal blog.)

P.s. I’m writing this because I personally don’t think it’s nice to go openly declare on facebook that you cared when you did not. At all. Not a single bit. 

He was my good friend, old confidant, someone I used to love for close to three years in my prime years. Obviously he took up a significant part of my youth. 

I made a mistake to get close to this other guy in the past, and obviously, I deserved the break up. He scolded me, and shut me off completely. But I personally felt like I truly deserved it, for not cherishing him enough to keep my eyes on him. 

Then after the second breakup with MY, I got together with a short lived relationship with a cheater - and broke up. When I was at the weakest point of my life - when I cried like mad - I did contact him, only to be replied with a very hostile and mean message. Something that I remember for life. Quoting from pure memory, went something like, “oh my life is damn great now (without you), you deserved getting cheated and hurt, HAHA!” (Okay it was a pretty long message but this was essentially the gist of it. )

After trying so hard to get back tgr with him for almost 2 years - getting this kind of reply at the worst point of my life is pretty much telling me to give up totally on any future we might ever have. 

“Letting go?” If you even had thoughts about patching up in the first place, you would have made it known since 3 years ago. 

I expected a lot more from a man who goes around saying he loves and have not let go of me - a man who pines for someone he lost ago. Since you weren’t doing a single thing (and the only thing you did was to send mean messages - laughing at my plights) - what really were you expecting from me? 

Are you expecting me to say, “Omg thank you for scolding me and laughing at me!” Since your life out there is so beautiful like how you painted it for me, why must you go post things like as if you were hurt? If the world out there without me is so much more better (thus telling me to get out of your life), then whats with those sudden emo messages?  

Please la if you have gotten over 3 years ago, then why post it again now? It totally shows that you haven’t gotten over anything since then. If you wanted a future, what else did you expect me to do? What actions did you even take? 

Back to my story - during the lowest point of my life - I didn’t even want to go to India. I was so devastated and just crying my eyes out every second of the entire week. God was my support and life saviour, in a way. He also planted a special someone to enter my life right at that time. 

This guy, is like some bad-ass. He’s the kind of guy that every girl wants - kind of like the korean superstar? The silent badboy of the class, who carries like a sling bag to school and lifts his feet on the table. Someone who uses witty words to counterattack anyone. And then when he turns around, there was his back - it was an “emo” back. Damn sad back. Okay no one understands what that meant HAHA but ok I like his broad shoulders and they make me want to hug him so badly. He might look like he’s damn emo but in fact he’s a very happy man? HAHA. He this a resting bitch face that makes me want to always take the effort to crack a joke or tickle him to make him sneak a smile. 

:> He loves me for who I am, accepting the mistakes I’ve made in the past (yup yup he knows it all - the 100% truth, the mistakes I made; everything.)

But if I made a mistake (in the future) and fully repented for it, I believe he, hb, will forgive me and will welcome be back with open arms. I mean it’s obviously not an open door for me to go abuse this fact but at least I know he’ll always be there for me.

And that, is the main difference. This is the guy i finally chose, because he picked me up and love me for who I am. Who understands me inside out, who treats me like a little princess, who cherish me and protect me, who shields me and strengthens me. :> He knows my weaknesses and tries to do everything he could to cover them. And obviously I love him a million times more than anything else, because he has a very kind heart and he’s seriously the most handsome man in the world. And though his jokes are not funny, I laugh at his expressions when I say they are not; I love him because he’s always on my side, no matter how evil or selfish I might be. I love him for being so smart and witty, for being who he is, for always loving, forgiving, for being the man I want to support for and spend the rest of my life with.

And no, my ex was a nice, great man. He was kind as well, but well there’s that missing 1% (for me). I mean yes I’ld be happy if there’s a certain someone who would fill his heart in the future; and pray that she won’t ever make a mistake in her entire life unless he learnt how to forgive, accept her. Kinda like, pass the greatest test of love. But If we could rewind time and if I did not commit my mistakes, I’ld probably have just ended up with him. 

You said that we won’t go back together ever again. It shall wait for our next life, or in another dimension. 

If there were truly a next life, or another dimension, i’ld say with utmost conviction that I’ll immediately go find my dearest binny, no matter how hard that might be. If I could turn back time to the secondary school days, I’ld go to the doors of raffles institution and find a way to get to know this man from the very beginning. I’ld gladly erase every trace of memory I ever had; well but I guess that’s what made me who I am today. 

I might truly just be, “the person in your life just to teach you how to let go". Whatever it is, thank you. And farewell. May our God protect you and provide you with a beautiful path ahead.

Ending off with the definition of what true love is, - something that Binny flashed and possibly the most important message that will guide us through our entire love lives just before he got down on one knee.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)