#bibitxt

Shiho is right there, but she's so far away...

Distance creates longing, as they say, and the rare times they do meet each other, in this self-created gap between them, the more Shinichi realized that he doesn't want this to end, or to get any worse. She's already so far away, how can he catch up?

18 year old Edogawa Conan graduating with 28 year old Miyano Shiho in the audience. 10 years of them living this life, and the first thing Shinichi did after he reached the age where his life was ripped away from him is trying to start a new one, a better one, hopefully.

Well, his mother IS an actress after all. He's always had a love for the theatrics, no matter if he admits it or not. Besides, he's so tired of hiding, 10 years is long enough.

He graduated, top of his class, no surprise there. He knew he would have to make a little speech, because everyone obviously want to hear what the smartest, borderline annoying senior of teitan highschool has to say, right?

But he did none of that, he doesn't address any of them. He thanks one person, talking to one woman only, for being with him all this time as a friend through thick and thin, through tears and blood, and he asked her, in the middle of the crowd, if she would let him continue to walk by her side,

And then there's like,"She got a new boyfriend and im suuuuper jealous abt it and thats why i killed her, waaa waaaaaaa!"

Paired with Kaito, who is slowly losing touch with reality, when he realizes his father is alive because that means his whole life is a lie, and he gets all weird about life and death in the aftermath, unable to live the same double life as Kaito Kid because what's the point? Maybe he starts keeping the jewelries he steals, maybe he starts stealing something else? Up the ante every single time until he starts doing what Meitantei told the police he would /never/ do.

He wished he never read those reports because there's only one truth or whatever but he really doesn't want to recognize the truth that behind the head pats and prideful grins, behind the playful, often irritating acts and innocent teasing those two put him through, deep down, they really are monsters becuase no human could've done what they did and then turn around and be one of those who assisted Conan and saved him from sticky situations more times than not.

Conan knows those things exist, he really does, but it feels too close to home for it to be comfortable, so he starts keeping his distance, just... just some time to process all the information he illegally acquired. All of the reports written to their superiors of their mission, their goals, their result, and what they did to achieve it.

Surely, this couldn't be the status quo, right? But maybe it is, maybe... maybe the people he sees frequently, the detectives and police officers he met in the past, just how many of them had done the same thing? How many of them had ordered Akai and Furuya to do those things?

But as long as it's not murder, it's fine, right? As long as it's...

But he knows the weapons they weild, Akai's riffle and Furuya's handgun, his drag bag and his holster, all containing weapons made to hurt or to kill.

...

But, but of course all of those things they did, the horrible, horrible acts that they do were all justified, right? For good? For the greater good?

Does, does that mean that every time Conan helped them, he's helping the kind of people he himself detests?

Those who use their power to hurt others, regardless of the reasons?

But they're doing this for The. Greater. Good.

They're not doing this for fun, they're not doing anything wrong, they're doing this for justice. They're killing for Justice, so it's fine, the torture and murder, it's.

(Murder is always wrong though, every life is precious though, even the worst people deserves to live though.)

(Right?)

He can't help it. He can't stop it.

The next time Amuro-san hands him some dessert with a smile, all he thought was the time he force-fed an informant with a slow acting poison to get him to talk.

The next time Akai-san pets his hair, he remembered reading about those same hands using a scalpel to do the unspeakable to his target's head.

It made him sick.

For example here he just prevented a whole hand grenade from exploding on the streets below. But like what wouldve happen if he and his trusty firework ball wasnt there ????

Imagine if in their effort to build a normal life, decided to adopt a kid and ended up completely destroy the kid's mental state.

Imagine being in that household, when your parents say they love each other but fight like there's no tomorrow and never actually make up, they just move on, nice one day and cold the next.

And the thing is, they're not directly abusive towards the kid themselves. They treated the kid well, always nice to them, never hit or yelled at them, from the outside, and weirdly on the inside, they're decent parents. But it's the way they treat EACH OTHER that starts to skew the child's understanding of the world and real human interaction.

⬇️

She ALWAYS hides behind him it's pretty fucking cute imo. And Shinichi's already used to it, just expecting her to hide and shields her no question asks.

I know that it's pretty much a given, he's the only one she can trust, but that wasn't always the case, right? I love how it's an established dynamic between them now.

Especially in the later chapters, when she kept getting haunted and he just JUMPS IN, feeling just as protective, seeing that she was almost killed a couple of times already and despite not saying it, wouldn't that give any man some level of anxiety??

Shiho just expects Shinichi to be the literal shield between her against the world. But isn't it ironic that at the same time, if her shield is threatened, she's even willing to give her life to protect him?

Two sides of the same coin.

Make it real this time and watch as the boy slowly loses his mind, questioning everything he knew since he was a child. Wondering if his father is truly dead now, questioning the truth even after seeing the bullet hole in Toichi's head and his cold corpse in the morgue because Kaito has been mourning his father for 10 years only to realize that he was alive all this time and the moment when he saw him in the flesh again, he was thrown right back into the whirlpool of emotions his younger self felt when his mother sat him down to tell him that his father is not coming back.

But his mother isn't here this time. It isn't just a devastating news this time. This time, he saw his father's life leaving his eyes and heared the way his voice croaked until he breathed his last breath.

And then, even when faced with a death that is absolutely certain, Kaito started to question his reality. A mix of betrayal and hope, his father's corpse right in front of his eyes, but is there a chance he could still be alive?

He wants his father to be alive. The dead body is just another trick, right?

Life and death slowly morphing into nothing but a magic trick, someone's beating heart just a tool for him to manipulate.