#bg3 vampire spawn

Day 1. Incest | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 2. Ageplay | Jaheira × Fem!Tav/Durge!reader

Day 3. Threesome | Isobel Thorm × Dame Aylin × Fem!Tav/Durge!reader

Day 4. Voyeurism | Orin The Red × Fem!Durge!reader × Enver Gortash

Day 5. Finger Sucking | Enver Gortash × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 6. Humiliation | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 7. Bloodplay | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 8. Cages | Dalyria × Fem!Tave/Durge!reader

Day 9. Exhibitionism | Nine-Fingers × Fem!reader

Day 10. Punishment | Kagha × Fem!Tav/Duge!reader

Day 11. Somnophilia | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 12. Kneeling | Minthara Baenre × Fem!Tav/Durge!reader

Day 13. Medical play | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 14. Choking/Gagging | Enver Gortash × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 15. Object Insertion/Semi-Public | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 16. Fire play | Philomeen × Fem!Tav/Durge!reader

Day 17. Messy sex | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 18. Genital torture | Enver Gortash × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 19. Creampie | Disguised!Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 20. Golden shower | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 21. Forced Orgasm | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 22. Quiet sex | Pale Petras × Fem!Spawn!reader

Day 23. Biting/Praise kink | Orin × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 24. Anal/Gags/Noncon | Enver Gortash × Fem!Durge!reader

Day 25. Impact play and pillory/stocks | Kagha × Fem!Tav/Duge!reader

Day 26. Cuckoldry | Orin The Red × Fem!Durge!reader × Enver Gortash

Day 27. Hair pulling/Animal play | Kagha × Fem!Druid!reader

Day 28. Needle play | Zealous Assistants × Fem!Tav/Durge!reader

Day 29. Omorashi | Nine-Fingers × Fem!reader

Day 30. Breeding/Degradation | Enver Gortash × Fem!Durge!reader

I’ve often seen very dark interpretations of the letters specifically sent to Astarion during the epilogue party — sometimes even used as proof that the Radiant Hopeful ending is actually miserable. As always, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind here, only to offer an alternative reading. One that is entirely my own, humble and deeply personal. If someone resonates with it, wonderful. If not, that’s perfectly fine too.

I write because I enjoy it, because it’s fun, and because I want to share the things I find meaningful, moving, or fascinating about a game or a character.

But above all else, I write for myself.

So, we know these letters are sent by the Gur and by Sebastian. In both cases, they offer an overview of how things developed for Cazador’s victims — the vampire spawn imprisoned in the dungeons — both for the children and for the adults.

Let me proceed step by step, one piece at a time, before getting to the literal analysis of these letters. After all, the context — and the people we are talking about — matter too.

The Power of Hope

The way I see it, these letters are actually very much in line with Astarion’s Radiant Hopeful ending, because even if they do not describe perfect or idyllic situations, that is precisely the point. They speak of hope — and that hope shines through completely.

So let’s take a small detour and talk about hope itself. What is it, really?

According to the dictionary: “A feeling of confident expectation regarding the fulfillment, present or future, of what one desires. More generally, trust in the future, or in the successful outcome of someone or something.”

Hope is not definitive fulfillment. It is not the finish line. It is the beginning of the journey.

Which may discourage those who prefer absolute certainty instead — even though absolute certainty is, in itself, an impossible standard to achieve.

But real hope is something far more fragile, difficult, and powerful than that.

Hope is what survives even when pain does not disappear. It is the ability to keep imagining meaning, connection, change, or a future despite uncertainty, fear, trauma, or suffering. It does not deny darkness. It exists alongside it. It is resilience.

It is hopelessness that truly paralyzes. Because it convinces people that nothing can change, that there is no point in trying, trusting, building, loving, or continuing. It is complete annihilation.

Hope, on the other hand, creates movement and openness. It is an act of courage, especially after trauma, as in the case of Astarion and his fellow vampire spawn. It means accepting vulnerability again, allowing yourself to try again despite everything. It means admitting that the future still matters to you, even after the world has given you every reason to stop believing in it.

And perhaps the strongest form of hope is not the one that says, “Everything will definitely be fine,” but the one that says:

“Things are still difficult. The pain is still real. And yet, I believe something better is still possible.”

And it is within this context that the content of those letters truly belongs: a context of hope shared by multiple people who endured the same fate.

The Desire to Live

And here, I think, it is important to underline something: the spawn — all of them — ultimately want only one thing: to live. Which is no small desire, especially once you choose to recognize their personhood.

In BG3, there is even a beautiful song associated precisely with this theme — one that is often linked, while still resonating with the other companions as well, particularly to Astarion, and certainly to themes of survival, guilt, the desire to live, liberation, vulnerability, love, and the fear of death. And that by extension, it can be applied to the entire game as one of its central themes.

Of course, I’m talking about I Want to Live.

A title could hardly be more evocative in this case.

When Astarion finally comes face to face with the imprisoned spawn, Tav/Durge is given the opportunity to offer them promises of freedom. The prisoners are divided between adults and children — physically, through separate cells, but also conceptually, through age and experience.

The adults have been there for so long that many of them no longer even remember how long it has been. They are the ones for whom hope for the future has almost entirely eroded away. Starving, abandoned, locked away without ever being given the chance to feed for centuries.

And Astarion himself has several remarkably significant things to say about them — lines that are deeply important for understanding who exactly we are talking about here:

“Decades of hatred will have piled up inside of them. I can’t even begin to imagine.” “Cazador didn’t keep me in luxury, but I’ve never seen anything like this.” “They are in a state far beyond anything that ever happened to me.”

And Astarion knows exactly what he is talking about. One of his own lines confirms it openly: “I've had periods where I was so hungry, I was all but robbed of speech and reason.”

But let us look more closely at Tav/Durge’s dialogue options in response to Sebastian’s question: “And then? What happens to us?” Obviusly, assuming, as he himself considers almost impossible, that the group of heroes actually manages to defeat Cazador.

The dialogue options are:

“We’ll set you free — what else?”

“That depends on you. Can you control your hunger?”

“What do you want to happen?”

“I have no intention of freeing a bunch of ravenous spawn.”

In the first case, Sebastian responds without even a trace of hope left in him. After so long spent in the darkness of those dungeons, he simply does not have any left. How could it be otherwise? He no longer has the strength to envision an “after,” a future, perhaps even a life worthy of truly being called a life. He is simply exhausted. Overwhelmed.

And so he says only: “From this nightmare? It doesn’t seem possible…”

And it is interesting to see how it is precisely Astarion who offers words of comfort here, reigniting a small light within that total darkness:

“I promise you, I know that feeling all too well. But it can be done.”

Very few words — and yet they express so much.

And again, if confronted with the second dialogue option about the vampiric hunger, Sebastian responds this way: “I don’t know, it’s all I’ve ever felt…”

And once more, Astarion rekindles that same fragile light with his own words:

“Trust me when I say I know the feeling. But you can resist the urge.”

And I think it is genuinely beautiful to see how, even with Ascension only a step away and already filling his mind (by the narrator: "You can see the fear in his eyes, but also the hunger. The tichk smell of blood in the air and the promise of power being so close are intoxicating to him"), these small glimpses of an alternative path still emerge from him.

Equally interesting is Sebastian’s response when confronted with Tav/Durge’s third dialogue option — a direct question. No assumptions. No compromises. No predetermined fate. Simply the recognition that his wishes matter too, which restores to him a measure of the agency Cazador stole centuries ago: “What do you want to happen?”

And Sebastian answers:

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to die down here. Please.”

This line matters enormously.

Because at the core of all of this — beneath the hunger, the fear, the trauma, the monstrosity, the risk, the darkness — what remains is something painfully, deeply human: the desire to live.

And indeed, if Tav/Durge instead chooses the final dialogue option, faced with the prospect of being abandoned alongside all the others in total darkness, hunger, and oblivion, Sebastian reacts with pure, unfiltered despair. Almost panic.

“No — no, you can’t leave us here. Not now, not like this!”

But the most interesting part is that small, spontaneous, betraying admission: “Not now.”

The implications are huge.

Something changed the very moment Tav/Durge and Astarion set foot in Cazador’s dungeons. Even if only unconsciously, something stirred within him and allowed him to imagine… something. An expectation, pheraphs.

Because for the first time in centuries, someone saw them. Someone spoke to them. Someone acknowledged, at the very least, that they existed.

In this context, Tav/Durge’s dismissive words become even crueler from Sebastian’s perspective, because a small and unexpected light has been rekindled.

And that is almost worse than never having had any hope at all.

Only for him to add that devastating: “Not like this.”

Sebastian does not simply not want to die. More than anything else, he does not want to die like this.

In darkness. In hunger. Forgotten beneath the earth.

Because even in their most degraded state, all but robbed of speech and reason, as Astarion himself would put it, they still long for something to change.

They long for something better.

They long to be free.

The words that follow the refusal to help them —the curses, the bitterness, the centuries of resentment and anger finally unleashed onto Astarion —are simply the natural consequence of a betrayed expectation.

The Vampire Spawn Children

The conversation with Chessa is completely different from the one with Sebastian.

There is anger and resentment on both sides, certainly, but these children were turned only recently and have only recently been confronted with what their new condition actually means — particularly the concept of vampire hunger.

And we should not forget that we are still talking about children.

Human beings whose prefrontal cortex — the area of the brain responsible for impulse control, long-term planning, emotional regulation, risk assessment, and weighing consequences — has not yet fully developed. This provide important context for understanding their reactions.

Unlike Sebastian, whose despair has been worn down by centuries of imprisonment, the children are still in the midst of a much more immediate and chaotic emotional response. Their fear is raw. Their anger is raw. Their hunger is raw.

Indeed, “I’ll kill you” becomes an almost reflexive phrase on the lips of a child who not only abhors what she has become, but who is traditionally expected to embody the very image of innocence.

Another interesting detail to note is how the hunger and newfound aggression seem to leave them confused, almost clouded in their thinking.

And when Tav/Durge recognizes them for who they are — the children from the Gur camp — Chessa responds in a rather peculiar way, as though she can no longer clearly remember who she is or where she came from.

"Camp... monsters hunter... the Gur camp? Oh gods — my parent's camp! Chessa, focus. Resist the beast inside you! You promised. "

Another line that seems to support a similar interpretation is the one that occurs when Tav/Durge tells the children that their parents are looking for them. Chessa replies:

“I miss them. I think. Or perhaps it’s the hunger… oh, I don’t know. It’s so hard to tell! You should go, leave us here. We shouldn’t be out there. We’d hurt our families.”

There is something profoundly tragic in this response. The boundaries between affection, instinct, memory, and vampiric craving have become blurred.

Taken together, these lines may offer us a glimpse into what it feels like to be a newly created vampire spawn.

And yet, despite that confusion, Chessa still arrives at a remarkably lucid conclusion: “We shouldn’t be out there. We’d hurt our families.”

This suggests that some part of her still remembers being a Gur — a young monster hunter — but also that she still cares about her family, enough to choose to stay behind rather than risk putting them in danger.

But let us take a closer look at Tav/Durge’s dialogue options in response to Chessa’s suggestion that they should simply be left there to rot because they are too dangerous.

"I'm going to help you. How do I free you?"

"Never give up hope. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"I'm sorry it had to end this way. Good luck to you."

"The world will be a safer place with you behind bar."

If Tav/Durge responds with encouragement with the firt two options, the Chessa’s reaction is, despite the harsh words she reserve for Astarion — the one who kidnapped them — and for her and the other children as bloodsucking monsters deserving nothing but oblivion in Cazador’s dungeons, remarkably significant.

The narrator says:

"Behind the exhaustion, starvation, and fear — recognition stirs in her eyes, and with it — hope."

Hope — the central theme, explicitly invoked within the game itself.

Beautiful. Powerful. Capable of moving mountains.

The Gur children are frightened, hopeless, consumed by hunger, and painfully aware of the danger they pose. "You really mean it", says Chessa. And yet, when the opportunity finally presents itself, the possibility of a future begins to reappear. The possibility of returning to a life. Of seeing their families again. Of being something more than the monsters they fear they have become.

Because they, too, like Sebastian and the other spawn, do not want to die.

They just no longer want to live this way.

It is therefore hardly surprising that, when faced with the prospect of being abandoned and left to Cazador, Chessa reacts much like Sebastian does—directing her anger and bitterness toward those who have betrayed her, and wishing upon them the same fate: that Cazador would drain them to the very last drop.

Astarion’s Spawn Siblings

Of course, Astarion’s brothers and sisters do not want to die either.

Quite the opposite.

In Astarion’s Origin run, with the right dialogue choices, Dalyria can even go so far as to directly ask Astarion to save them — from the lies Cazador has fed them for centuries and from the eternal damnation awaiting them at the end of the ritual.

They, too, desire a future.

And it is beautiful that, after finally destroying the monster who tortured them for centuries, when Dalyria asks: “What does this mean for us?”

Astarion’s answer is:

"It means you have a choice. You can hide here, living in the shadows like parasites, or you can be more than what he made us to be."

Let us pause for a moment and focus on the key points.

Dalyria’s question carries an expectation. Astarion’s answer carries a message of hope.

But he is not speaking only about his brothers and sisters. He is speaking about all of them: the spawn imprisoned in the cages, his siblings, and himself.

The words “it means you have a choice” matter enormously, because Astarion knows exactly what he is talking about. Because he has experienced firsthand, throughout his journey alongside his companions, both the intoxicating thrill of freedom and the uncertainty that comes with it — the kind of uncertainty that can be frightening, overwhelming, and even paralyzing. To quote his own words once again: “‘You can do whatever you want’ sounds terrifying — and it is.”

Anyway, the restoration of choice is something immense, especially for people who have been deprived of it for so long that they may even fear it when it is finally returned to them.

And it is important to note that this is not a promise of happiness.

It is a promise of hope.

Once again, the recurring theme.

Because now a future exists. And a future implies possibility. Possibility implies choice.

And choice implies consequences.

It is hardly surprising, then, that Astarion ultimately concludes his speech to his siblings by acknowledging the other side of freedom as well:

“You can choose differently, of course, but the consequences are on your head.”

But the fundamental point remains: the hope that all of them may become something far greater than what they were made to be by the monster who spent centuries shaping them in his own image.

And it is within this same thematic thread that another line from Astarion, one I find particularly relevant, should be considered.

If Astarion chooses not to Ascend but instead destroys all of the imprisoned spawn because of the risk that they might prove too dangerous, then no future remains for them. Yet even then, the way Astarion sees them has changed. The image he carries of them is now different — hopeful:

“I was able to go out into the world and make better choices. To go against my nature and become more than a blood-sucking monster. Maybe they would have done the same.”

Here too, when speaking about the vampire spawn, the same themes resurface: choice, agency, change, hope, and personhood.

And once again, there is no certainty.

No guarantee.

Only the possibility that they, too, might have chosen differently.

The Letter from the Gur

Context matters. The protagonists of this story matter. And now, finally, let us examine what these oft-discussed letters actually say within that framework.

A framework of possibility.

A framework of hope.

The beginning of a journey, not its conclusion.

To the spawn Astarion, Greetings from the family of Ulma, hunters of monsters and keepers of peace across Faerun. We know this letter finds you well, for although we hunt you no longer, we do sometimes keep a watch. Your restraint and control over your bloodlust has been admirable. Indeed, it has been an inspiration for our children, who have struggled with their own hunger. These last months have been a difficult time for our people. We have protected and nurtured our children as best we can, and we have learned much. Herbs we once used to dull our foes' minds are now sedatives to ease hunger and pain, restraints built to hold the undead now protect them from themselves. There has been a lot of pain, but a lot of progress too. Our children learned discipline and control, while we learned compassion and patience. There was a time when we would have destroyed any undead creature, our own blood or not, and called it a mercy. But then we met you. We saw that redemption was possible. Difficult, yes. Painful. But possible. You saved our children first from Cazador, and then from us. For that, we thank you. We will watch you still, but with more admiration than fear. Walk in peace, Astarion.

First of all, the letter opens on a cordial note and speaks on behalf of the entire tribe of monster hunters. To highlight just how significant this change is, let us recall Gandrel’s words back in Act I: “Vampires are godless parasites. We don’t need a reason to destroy them.”

The difference is already enormous, and we are only at the beginning of the journey.

These monster hunters remain in contact with the vampire spawn who freed their children and showed them that an alternative future is possible.

Not easy.

Not certain.

Possible.

And it is something Astarion continues to demonstrate to them day after day, serving as a living example for the Gur and ispiration for the children. It is true that the Gur still keep an eye on him,but this is not about control.

It is about growing trust. It is about learning, admiration, as they themselves admit in the closing lines of the letter.

And this, too, is something still in progress.

After centuries of bloodshed on both sides — monster hunters killing vampires, vampires killing monster hunters — Astarion represents an extraordinary and wholly unexpected exception.

Erasing all that blood is not easy. Fear may persist, and it is almost natural that it does. But this, too, is something destined to evolve, just like everything else in this story, and likely for the better now that a window of possibility has been opened.

Perhaps it is only a matter of time before that window is thrown wide open:

There was a time when we would have destroyed any undead creature, our own blood or not, and called it a mercy. But then we met you. We saw that redemption was possible. Difficult, yes. Painful. But possible.

The letter also highlights another important point. Ulma states that she knows the letter finds Astarion well: “We know this letter finds you well.”

Which is the exact opposite of the image of the miserable, wretched vampire that many people describe.

Astarion is doing well, and he is free — free from both Cazador and the vampire hunters. And he is free because he proved that vampires are capable of choice. To choose who you are, rather than being defined by what your nature or past dictates.

That does not mean he has become a saint, of course. After all, he does have certain needs.

Indeed, when Ulma write: “Your restraint and control over your bloodlust has been admirable,” she is not saying that Astarion has gone back to feeding exclusively on animals or that he spends his days constantly starving (in the sewers, lol).

Astarion still kills people. He still enjoys violence. But he has learned to manage his hunger well enough to apply discrimination in how he feeds.

Which, once again, implies a choice.

Astarion chooses to feed on criminals, on dangerous individuals, to place his natural predatory instincts in the service of something closer to the greater good.

And he clearly enjoys doing so, as demonstrated by the little dance he performs at the end of his Origin run. And in this case, the narrator’s choice of the word “flourish” is hardly accidental.

As I have written elsewhere, he is a well-fed vampire who is not suffering from hunger, even if he remains dependent on blood in a way the Ascendant does not.

For anyone interested, I explored this topic in more detail HERE.

And now we come to one of the most controversial — and most criticized — parts of the letter, where Ulma describes how difficult and painful the past months with their undead children have been.

But what does this passage actually say?

First of all, let us remember that we are talking about children. As mentioned earlier, these are individuals whose prefrontal cortex is still developing. We cannot reasonably expect from them the same degree of maturity, impulse control, and emotional regulation that we would expect from an adult.

And if, as discussed above, they are also very recently turned vampire spawn, it follows naturally that they would possess even less control over their impulses and hunger, especially in the beginning.

So yes, it has been difficult. It has been painful. Both the children and the Gur have had to adapt, to learn, and to find new meaning in circumstances neither of them ever expected to face. Measures have been taken to ease their hunger and to prevent them from harming themselves or others.

But the passage also says something fundamentally important — something that strongly suggests the temporary nature of such precautions:

“Our children learned discipline and control, while we learned compassion and patience.”

The children learned to manage their impulses over time and with the support they needed.

But that is not the only transformation taking place here.

This is the story of two groups changing together. Both sides are being transformed by the experience in the best way.

And that may be one of the most hopeful aspects of the entire letter.

For the first time, the vampire hunters themselves have changed their perspective. The very tools they once used to kill are now being used to protect and preserve life.

The Gur have learned to see people where they once saw only monsters.

It is worth noting that now they are beginning to develop ways to help them. All of them, not just their own children. Because now, like Astarion, they have learned that discernment is possible. That distinctions can be made among vampires. And that is hugely significant, because before this, no one was trying to alleviate vampirism. The only solution anyone had ever considered was destruction.

I will conclude with what I believe is the most important point of all: the desire of the vampire spawn children themselves.

No matter what they have become. No matter the difficulties they will face along the way. They have what they truly wanted.

To be reunited with their family.

And, together with them, to keep living.

To keep living, and to do so with something they had almost lost forever: hope.

The hope of a better future.

A hope now shared by both the children and the people who chose not to give up on them. And personally, I find that genuinely beautiful.

The letter from Sebastian

On the other hand, there is Sebastian’s letter, which does not speak about a small group of vampire spawn learning to adapt alongside their families. It speaks about a wave of vampire spawn unleashed into the Underdark.

And that is perhaps the most frightening scenario imaginable.

But, like everything else we have discussed so far, it is only a stage of the journey — one step in a process that has only just begun. Not something fixed in time and space. Not the final destination.

But let us take it one step at a time.

After so long in a vampire's cell, I'd almost forgotten how to write. Never mind what to write. But what can you say to the person who unlocked your cage and gave you your life back? Or gave us some kind of life, at least. After you killed Cazador and opened our cells, we fled into the Underdark. There were thousands of us - a ravenous wave, mad with freedom and out for blood. And Gods, did we find blood. We swarmed every monster and unfortunate in our path, drinking what we could. We lost hundreds along the way - some to beasts, but most just disappeared into the dark. It wasn't easy, but eventually Cazador's house spawn calmed us and took control. They found some old ruins we could call home and we've been there ever since, building new lives for ourselves. We're not free down here, the dark will chain us forever, but we aren't the prisoners we once were either. And that's thanks to you. You looked in our cages and saw people, not monsters. And here, down in the shadows, we're trying to live up to that. Thank you, now and forever, - Sebastian

The letter opens on a melancholic note:

“After so long in a vampire’s cell, I’d almost forgotten how to write. Never mind what to write.”

This is a measure of the damage that was done to him, and it helps us understand the condition of the other vampire spawn as well.

In Cazador’s dungeons, Sebastian was barely a man anymore. He was a ghost. An echo. And yet, even then, he still carried within himself a single desire: “I just don’t want to die down here.”

The fact that he is now writing a letter is itself a sign of progress.

A sign of life.

A choice.

An act that implies identity, memory, reflection, language, and agency. And Sebastian is slowly reclaiming all of those things.

He is reclaiming his personhood.

Immediately afterward, he admits that he does not quite know what to say to the person who freed them and gave them their lives back.

Or rather, as he himself carefully qualifies it, not exactly the lives they once had, but something different, more complicated:

“Or gave us some kind of life, at least.”

This ties in beautifully with the end of the letter, where Sebastian describes what that life actually entails — the difficulties and compromises that come with it:

“We’re not free down here, the dark will chain us forever, but we aren’t the prisoners we once were either.”

I think this is perhaps the most misunderstood line in the entire letter. Because many people focus exclusively on the first half: “We’re not free.” But Sebastian does not put a period there. He writes: “but.”

That but is fundamental.

It is the entire letter.

It is the entire concept of hope that spread among them, beginning with Astarion. "Maybe never seen the sun again is just the price of freedom".

Indeed, as Sebastian himself immediately goes on to say, they are no longer prisoners. And because they are no longer prisoners, they now possess something they lacked before: choice.

The choice of how to face their imperfect lives.

The choice of what to make of the future they have been given.

The choice to seek out whatever beauty, meaning, and joy that future may still contain.

But perhaps the most important passage of all is this:

“You looked in our cages and saw people, not monsters. And here, down in the shadows, we’re trying to live up to that.”

Once again, we return to the restoration of their dignity as people.

Not objects.

Not monsters.

Not sacrifices.

People.

And that recognition gave them something extraordinary: the hope that they might be far more than what Cazador created them to be. And it is to that possibility that they now cling.

It is an incredibly powerful message.

Astarion saw them. He acknowledged them. He did not decide for them. He respected their wishes and made them possible.

“I just don’t want to die down here.”

And if the Gur letter is the story of people who learned to see humanity in monsters, then Sebastian’s letter is the story of those monsters trying to become the people someone saw in them.

And Sebastian is grateful from the depths of his heart, not because everything is now perfect or neatly resolved, but because he has been given the opportunity to act and to build a future of his own.

Once again, we return to the same idea that has run through all of these letters.

Not an ending.

A beginning.

Not certainty.

Possibility.

Not the promise that everything will turn out well.

The chance to decide what comes next.

Sebastian’s words are steeped in gratitude, but also in hope:

“Thank you, now and forever, Sebastian.”

And personally, I find that profoundly moving. Because those are not the words of someone lamenting a life that is not worth living.

They are the words of someone who was given back the chance to live at all.

But let us take a step back and examine another of the most controversial passages in Sebastian’s letter: the flight into the Underdark.

Thousands of starving vampire spawn pouring into the darkness like a wave, descending upon any living creature they can find to satisfy a hunger that has lasted for centuries.

“A ravenous wave, mad with freedom and out for blood.”

How could it be otherwise? Let us remember that at the beginning Astarion himself described them this way: “They are in a state far beyond anything that ever happened to me.”

And yet, he also added, when speaking about their hunger: “Trust me when I say I know the feeling. But you can resist the urge.”

What does that mean?

It means that Astarion recognizes two things at once.

First, he acknowledges that their condition is catastrophic. Worse than anything he personally experienced. He does not minimize their suffering, their hunger, their trauma, or the danger they represent.

But at the same time, he refuses to reduce them to that condition. Because he knows from experience that hunger, no matter how overwhelming, is not the entirety of a person.

He knows control is something that develops over time. It is not an innate gift. And indeed, the letter neither denies nor softens this part of the story.

Quite the opposite.

It acknowledges it openly and even emphasizes it.

And Gods, did we find blood. We swarmed every monster and unfortunate in our path, drinking what we could.

But this is the start. It is part of the process. Some of them died. Some of them chose differently and disappeared into the darkness, with all the consequences that implies.

As Astarion himself says: “You can choose differently, of course, but the consequences are on your head.” After all, freedom does not necessarily mean morality or right choice for everyone.

The journey began in blood, chaos, confusion, and loss. But Sebastian does not stop there.

“It wasn’t easy, but eventually Cazador’s house spawn calmed us and took control. They found some old ruins we could call home and we’ve been there ever since, building new lives for ourselves.”

The spawn who spent centuries trapped in cages do not remain forever frozen in the state in which they emerged from them.

They were traumatized, starving people suddenly confronted with the terrifying realities of choice, responsibility, and survival. And yet, despite the chaos of those first days, the story does not end in destruction.

Quite the opposite.

It ends with stability. With community. With a home. With the beginning of new lives. And with the determination to live up to the faith of those who looked into their cages and saw people rather than monsters — not the feral creatures “all but robbed of speech and reason,” as Astarion once described himself during the worst periods of his own starvation.

Radiant Hoperful Astarion

I will conclude by bringing the discussion back to Astarion and his Radiant Hopeful journey, closing the circle where it began.

Because the story of the vampire spawn imprisoned beneath Cazador’s palace is, in many ways, Astarion’s own story.

They are the mirror he does not want to look into, for fear of recognizing himself.

Astarion and the spawn are connected not only by blood—as the terms of Mephistopheles’ contract make abundantly clear, and as Cazador himself delights in reminding everyone during the ritual—but also by the very themes that define Astarion’s narrative arc.

At least, the version of that arc that leads toward hope rather than power.

The experience of victimhood. The experience of being treated as a pawn or a monster. The desire to live. The desire for freedom. They represent the Astarion who was never abducted by the mind flayers and never given the opportunity to change his fate. All of them.

Without the tadpole, without Tav/Durge, Astarion might have remained exactly where they were: trapped between hunger and obedience, convinced that survival was all he could ever hope for.

But let us pause for a moment and look at how Astarion’s own journey begins before following its development throughout the three acts of the game.

In this regard, I find Minthara’s words about Astarion particularly significant:

“He has been deprived of freedom and strong blood for so long that he is addicted to both. As long as those addictions hold sway over him, he is still a slave.”

In this respect, Astarion is not so different from either the vampire spawn children or the horde of ravenous spawn that poured into the Underdark. Craving for blood and freedom.

After so long spent suffering, without the opportunity to feed, basic needs inevitably take over.

Even reason itself.

And in that sense, at the beginning all of them are slaves to their own necessities.

And to be a slave is to have no choice. Even in freedom. Especially when one is intoxicated by the feeling of that freedom without yet understanding what true freedom really is (accountability, consequences).

But slowly, something begins to change in Astarion as well. And it changes step by step the moment he meets Tav/Durge. Why?

Because from the very beginning — for those who choose to play the story that way (no hard feelings toward those who choose to stake him during the bite scene or hand him over to Gandrel, lol) — Tav/Durge sees a person in Astarion.

Not a monster.

Not an object.

They see his potential, hidden beneath all of his addictions — including his addiction to power, I would argue (though Minthara would probably disagree with me on that point, lol).

“I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. What do you see?”

Astarion asks this question while standing before a mirror that cannot reflect his image. And in this case, physical appearance has very little to do with it.

Later, in Act II, after the encounter with Araj, Tav/Durge is given the opportunity to ask Astarion a direct question: “How would you like me to see you?”

And his answer is disarmingly simple:

“As a person. Is that too much to ask?”

(For those interested, I have discussed Astarion’s relationship with the figure of the monster in greater detail HERE)

And despite the fear, all the doubts, the resistance, the setbacks, the temptations, the power always within reach; despite his conviction that “I can’t be what you see in me,” after rejecting the ritual and finally freeing himself in every sense possible — from Cazador, from the hunger for power, from the cycle of vampire lords endlessly replacing one another, killing and being killed for a throne that ultimately belongs to no one — he arrives at a very different conclusion:

“But you saw something in me. Someone else I could be.”

And after revisiting this theme of being seen—a theme that runs throughout Astarion’s entire positive arc and is repeated again and again during some of the game’s most important and emotional moments—how powerful does Sebastian’s statement in the letter become?

Let me quote it again, now reframed within this broader context:

“You looked in our cages and saw people, not monsters. And here, down in the shadows, we’re trying to live up to that.”

Astarion did for those vampire spawn exactly what Tav/Durge did for him: he saw a person where others saw only a monster, and in doing so, gave them the possibility of becoming something more.

He gives them trust. And with it, he gives them hope.

Just think about what he says to Tav/Durge during the graveyard romance scene: “You trusted me when it was an objectively stupid thing to do.”

Not unlike trusting the spawn imprisoned beneath Cazador’s palace—a choice that, at least at first glance, might appear equally foolish.

Radiant Hopeful Astarion is not important because he is perfect. He is important because he is resilient. Because he chooses to face hardship rather than run from it.

He matters because he becomes living proof that a person can be more than the worst thing that was ever done to them.

And that is precisely why Sebastian, the Gur children, and the other spawn see in him the very same thing he once saw in Tav or Durge: proof that a different future is possible. And it belongs to them.

And I think nothing summarizes all of this better than Astarion’s own words during the epilogue party:

“My present, my future… they are mine.”

Simply beautiful.

A few small, entirely optional author’s notes:

And now, after rambling far beyond all reasonable limits, I shall retreat into some dark hole and hide out of sheer embarrassment.

I think I may have outdone myself this time when it comes to length.

The funny thing is that I always start from a very simple idea. In this case, I only wanted to analyze the letters. But then my brain did what it always does, the connections suddenly became obvious, the protagonists of this arc grew clearer and clearer and demanded their own voice in the discussion, the themes took each other by the hand, and what was supposed to be only Astarion’s story somehow became the story of all of them.

A demonstration that sometimes a small spark can burn so brightly and so intensely that it sets many hearts ablaze.

And in some way, those letters represent the epilogue of that journey.

By that point, it was already too late to stop.

image source:

𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭

RUGAN♡CELINE

Two hundred thirty-six years, and she looked unchanged from the girl she had been. Rugan, though–he bore every year he'd lived, and she adored him for it. Dimples carved by old smirks, a faint crease of worry that lingered even in sleep, crow's feet softened by the dark. She traced each line as though reading a story written in skin, wondering with quiet fascination what her own face might have become if time had been allowed to touch it. How a mortal man could be so devastatingly beautiful simply by carrying the years she'd been denied. Her thumb brushed lower, skimming the line of his mouth, pausing at the tiny mole beside his lip. And then–

"Find somethin' worth starin' at, lass?"

His voice cut through the stillness, rough and amused. She snatched her hand back, heart lurching. Saints–how long had he been awake? How long had he let her trace him like that? But Rugan only reached for her, catching her hand with ease. He brought her fingers to his lips, kissing each one before guiding her palm back to his cheek. "Don't stop," he murmured, voice thick with sleep, grin crooked and soft. "S'nice."

𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭𖹭

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