(a âcomes and goes (in waves)â companion fic)
tags: alternate universe â modern setting, kid fic, mental health issues, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff
He has fewer bad days now because each time he looks at her, heâs reminded of his purpose. In the world, there is someone small and precious who depends on him. The way he loves her is so different from the way that he loves Clarke, yet the three of them are bound together. This unit that they form, it makes him the happiest that heâs ever been⌠For a while.
Shortly after Avaâs third birthday, Bellamyâs medication stops working.
(or: Bellamy becomes a dad. His life changes. His brain doesn't.)
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ITâS FINALLY HERE!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone that has stuck with me this long. Itâs been a fun and wild ride.
Of course, I have to give a final thank you to @casleyislove who doesnât even watch the 100 but is always willing to read my fics and to @sushigirlali who rides the bellarke struggle bus with me and I would not be sane without her. Thank you both SO MUCH for putting up with me and my insecurities.
Without further ado...
~~~
Before Kodiak disappeared down the hallway, he and McCreary gathered the remaining fourteen hostages and corralled them into the small waiting area. Itâs funny that, just a few hours ago, Clarke was making plans for some future weekend with her friend in this very spot and now theyâre probably not making it out of here.
âHey,â Harper whispers, breaking her out of the depressing thoughts spiraling around in her head. âI need you to not lose it on me, ok?â
She glances up to see not only Harper but surprisingly Diyoza giving her a meaningful look as well.
âWeâre not out of ideas just yet,â Diyoza smirks and subtly glances behind the potted plant sheâs next to and back.
Clarke follows her gaze and can just make out the handle of Harperâs bag.
Before sheâs able to grasp what theyâre trying to get, the sounds of a scuffle echo from down the hallway, followed shortly by a gunshot and Clarke knows, can feel it deep down in her bones, that it's Bellamy. Bellamy has come to rescue them. Rescue her. And because of this and because she knows how much the universe likes to fuck with them, she knows what's about to happen a second before it does.
McCreary grabs her forcefully by the arm and drags her away from the others before yanking her to her feet. He positions her so her back is flush against his front and angles the gun so it's just within the periphery of her eyesight.Â
"We can all make it out of this," he says in her ear and she wills herself not to flinch. "Just control that savior complex of yours," he pauses and turns them slightly to face Diyoza, "and you keep your mouth shut."
The other woman just glares back in response and McCreary must take it as agreement because he turns them back around.
In a blink, Bellamy emerges from around the corner, gun drawn and aimed directly at her. She sees a flicker in his eyes but his hand doesn't falter. He gives nothing away.
Clarke hopes her reaction is the same, despite the tears of relief she can feel building behind her eyes.
âTook you long enough, officer," McCreary sneers. âWeâve been waiting.â
âLet her go, McCreary!â Bellamy shouts.
Her eyes meet Bellamyâs and she can see the fire in them; the promise that he will get her out of this. She takes a breath and then another; tries to even out her breathing and will herself to be calm.
But Bellamy must stare at her a beat too long because suddenly McCreary starts laughing.
âOh shit! You know her, don't you?â he taps the gun against her temple.
Bellamy doesn't say anything, just keeps his gun trained on them.
âIs that how you knew Rabe was my weak link? How you managed to get in here?â McCreary asks but he's not looking at Bellamy. Clarke can feel him staring a hole into the side of her head and then he's moving the hair off her shoulder with the barrel of his gun. She struggles not to recoil away from him as he whispers into her neck, âHave you been feeding him information? Thatâs very impressive, Doc. Youâll have to tell me about it... if you live.â
âI said let her go!â Bellamy yells again, taking a step forward.
âAh ah ah,â McCreary warns, dragging them back a step and pressing the gun to her head more forcefully. âI assume you want mother and child to make it out of this?â
Clarke sees something flash in her husband's eyes, can see the gears turning as he tries to come up with a plan.
"Your partners are dead, McCreary," Bellamy says and takes another step to which she's pulled back again, "The building is surrounded. There's no way you make it out of this."
"Maybe," Clarke feels her captor shrug against her, "But where would the fun be if this were easy."
âGod damn it, this isnât a game!â
Clarke has to do something; she can't just stand here waiting to be shot. She casts her eyes around the room while Bellamy is still talking but there's nothing close enough for her to get her hands on.
All at once, it dawns on her then what Diyoza and Harper were trying to tell her. And that taking those few precious steps back have put her and McCreary in a new position.
As slowly and subtly as she can, she moves her right hand from where itâs hanging at her side and hopes that one of the women behind her is paying attention. Clarke glances at Bellamy and meets his eyes briefly. If he notices her movement, he doesn't acknowledge it.
âHere's what I'll do," McCreary states as if he's about to do this huge favor. "Iâll swap out your woman for mine,â he nods behind him in the vague direction of Diyoza. âAnd weâll discuss the whereabouts of my daughter, hm? A mother and her child for a mother and her child.â
Thereâs a slight hesitation from Bellamy that draws Clarke's full attention back to him. Donât even think about it.
He looks at her and visibly swallows before raising his gun a little higher. "Afraid I can't do that."
McCreary sighs, "Then I'm afraid we're still at an impasse. Only now I might have to slowly dispose of the other hostages until we can come to an agreement."
She sees Bellamyâs gaze drift behind them and can pinpoint the exact moment he makes eye contact with something⌠or someone. He looks back at her. There's a question there and Clarke trusts him. She shoots him a look. Yes, do it!
He nods and not even a second later Clarke hears the static charge of electricity right before McCrearyâs body seizes up and jerks, releasing her and throwing her forward. With a startled gasp, she throws out her left arm to catch herself as she goes down and feels the impact as her shoulder hits the ground.
A gunshot follows shortly after and her eyes snap open immediately at the sound as she struggles to focus, to find Bellamy and make sure he's ok.
Clarke had no reason to worry, though.
Heâs next to her in an instant, gingerly helping her sit up.
âBell-â she manages, trying to check him over but itâs difficult with her hands shaking so violently.
His hands are steady, however, as they grab herâs and clutch them tightly between his. âShh, itâs ok, princess. I got you. Youâre ok now,â he whispers and then his arms slip around her to pull her close.
She looks over his shoulder and can see McCreary, lying motionless on the ground with a bullet wound in his head while Diyoza kneels next to him with Harperâs taser in her hand.
And just like that the weight of everything thatâs happened in the last few hours finally caves in on her and Clarke starts to sob.
All she can do is cling to Bellamy as he rocks her.
Theyâre all eventually ushered outside where police cars and ambulances are waiting to take their statements and assess their injuries. Clarke has to practically force Bellamy to leave her side so he can finish wrapping everything up with his team. She sits in the back of an ambulance with Diyoza as paramedics look them over.
âThese stitches look good, weâll just want to clean the area a bit more,â the paramedic says before stepping between them to grab supplies.
Diyoza looks over at her, âThanks for patching me up. And helping everyone stay calm in there.â
Clarke shoots her a smirk, âThanks for tasing the bastard.â
Diyoza snorts, âTrust me, it was my pleasure.â
The paramedic that was tending to Clarke takes the stethoscope out of his ears, âBabyâs heartbeat sounds good but you probably still want to make an appointment with your OB. Now let me see if I can find something for your shoulder.â
Clarke thanks him and he rounds the vehicle. She smiles down at her belly and rubs a soothing hand over the bump but can feel Diyoza still staring at her. When she turns back to look at the woman, sheâs surprised to see a soft smile on her face.
âDo you know what youâre having?â she asks.
Clarke smiles back. âNot yet. We have an appointment next week though.â
âWell, congratulations. And all things considered,â she stands up after the paramedic puts a new bandage over her wound, âHope makes for a pretty great name after a day like today so if youâll excuse me, Iâm going to see if I can find where theyâre keeping mine.â And then sheâs gone.
Sheâs sitting alone on the bumper of the ambulance when Bellamy finally makes his way back over to her. Her arm is in a sling and she's gingerly sipping water from a bottle that the paramedic instructed her to finish before she left the parking lot. At the first press of lips to her forehead, she canât help but lean into him.Â
âYou ok?â he asks.
âIt's not broken, but I should probably keep it in the sling for a few days,â she tries to shrug but doesnât quite pull it off.
Bellamy gingerly brushes some of her hair off her forehead before tilting her head to look at him. He doesn't have to ask the question again.Â
She feels the tears start to build again. âI was so scared, Bellamy.â
She drops her head into his chest and he brings his arms around her, holding her in his strong, safe embrace.
âYou did so good, Clarke,â he soothes. âBetter than some people that are trained for situations like that.â He pulls back so that sheâll look up at him but he keeps his hands on her waist. âI donât know what we would have done without your help.â He brushes his fingers along her cheek and she sees the guilt start to settle into his eyes, âI just wish I could have gotten to you sooner.â
She grabs the hand on her cheek and holds it there. âHey, I know you were doing everything you could to get us out of there. You did good too, Bellamy.â
âNot all of you,â his lips twitch into a sad smile as his thumb swipes a stray tear from her cheek. âTwo dead.â
âBut fourteen alive,â she stresses before taking his hand off her cheek and moving it to her belly. âFifteen,â she adds with a smile.
Reflexively, his thumb moves across her stomach. âI donât know what I would have done if I lost you,â he says and she knows heâs talking to both of them.
She reaches up to brush a tear of his own off his cheek, âYou didnât.â
He leans in to kiss her and she meets him in it, both drawing comfort from having the other right there in front of them. They were a team, a unit, and they always would be. As long as they were still breathing.
war against the world - { chapter 13Â } { epilogue }
Bellamy Blake wasnât always a famed pirate, known for his ruthlessness and fearsome rule over the blue-green seas of the New World. He used to be someone quiet different to Clarke Griffin, but that was years ago. She isnât the soft-hearted girl she used to be eitherâmore steel than anything now.
So when this former flame comes back into her life, she sees him only as a threat to the precarious peace she has built in her smugglersâ island community. But then he makes her an offer that would give Arkadia the stability sheâs fought so hard for, and she canât turn him down. As they set off to find a treasure beyond their wildest dreams, both Clarke and Bellamy begin to let their guards down, finding maybe despite the years of separation, they can salvage some of their former selves and, with it, their relationship.
She pushes the flyer closer, until the corner of the page pokes against his arm. "Now have you considered, perhaps... a rebound?"
Bellamy makes a show of looking at the piece of paper, then at Clarke again, back and forth with every bit of skepticism he can muster plastered across his face. "Speed dating?" he asks. "Have I considered speed dating?"
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In honor of reaching 3,000 followers (!!!!) Iâve decided to release the masterlist of all masterlists- my most popular Bellarke fics all in one place! There is something here for everyone, including drabbles, one-shots, multi-chapter, Modern AU, Canon, Canon Divergence, you name it. Thank you all for 3k followers, it was the most amazing milestone to hit! Happy reading!
Drabbles / One-shots (Canonverse/Canon Divergent)
fall into me (youâre the only one that can) - free form poetry
pendulum - free form poetry
twenty questions - Jordan pestering Bellamy about Bellarke on Earth
Quick! Give me your pants!
wanna bet? - Clarke plays poker with the boys
with a shuddering gasp - âI love youâ fic meme fill
take me down (bury me deep)
the nights are the worst (but the days are too)
Bellarke + âMind if I sleep here tonight?
Drabbles / One-shots (Modern AU)
Bellarke + Secret Santa who keeps getting me random gifts
Ten - Brooding Bellamy after Bellarke breakup
Bellarke + âIf I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.â - Military AU
so kiss me (and smile for me) - Military AU
Part 1 / Part 2 - Single Mom Clarke + Teacher Bellamy
Bellarke + âI need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.â
weâre some kind of royalty (you and me) - Librarian Bellamy College AU
must have been some kind of kiss - kiss meme series
the longer the waiting (the sweeter the kiss)
when you kiss me
kiss the girl goodbye
give me a kiss to build a dream on
hold you, kiss you, love you
your kiss might kill me
say it with a kiss
Completed Multi-Chapter (Canon + Modern AU)
fix this broken heart of mine - AO3
Modern AU - "The new handyman is hot so I'm going to keep breaking stuff".Â
my only wish this year (itâs you) - AO3Â
Modern AU - Alternate Reality Christmas WishÂ
WIP Multi-Chapter (Canon + Modern AU)
One More Summer Night - AO3
Bellamy and the girl next door Modern AU
moving lips to breathe her name - AO3
bad girl! Clarke meets nerd!Bellamy Modern AU
draw back your bow (let your arrow go) - AO3
Clarke meets her favorite actor on a dating app.
Other Fic Links
Bellarke Masterlist Part 1
Bellarke Masterlist Part 2
Most Popular - All fics over 100 notes (Not all Bellarke)
Bellarke Fanfiction - Drabbles, One-shots, WIPs & Completed
The worst part of separation, the part no one ever talks about, is forgetting.
It takes only a month to forget the feel of her next to him, the semi-permanent indent her body had created on the left side of his bed has now fixed itself, just another spot on the mattress that molds to him when he rolls over, thatâs been cold for exactly thirty days. When he closes his eyes, he can almost imagine her laying next to him, can still think about the warmth of her skin, the exact curve of her hip. When his hand falls onto the empty pillow, he tells himself itâs okay. That he could never really lose her.
He forgets her smell after six months, something he thinks is similar to lavender but not quite that, and even though he has one of her t-shirts underneath his pillow, it only smells like his shampoo and patchy drool. He buys a bottle of the soap he knows she uses, but itâs still not the same exact scent, and itâs the first real moment her absence seeps into his soul. He feels it.
After eight months, he forgets the sound of her voice. On those days, he has to listen to voicemails to remind him, and heâs grateful that she had been that person. He always teased her for it, her love of talking on the phone and preferring call to text. Most of her voicemails are mundane: âBabe, make sure you pick up milk on your way home.â and âI think I forgot to turn my curling iron off, can you check it?â and, âYouâll never guess who I ran into todayâŚâ He laughs when he listens to them, sometimes he cries because God, he just misses her so much and he feels guilty for having to be reminded of her voice.
When the year mark hits, his memories feel distant. The last time he held her feels like a lifetime ago, the last time he saw her smile even longer. When he scrolls through photos on his phone, when he picks the framed photos from their wedding up off the mantel, he finds himself thinking, âI could have sworn her beauty mark was on the right side.â and âWere her eyes always that shade of blue?â
After that, it all becomes a distant ache. He misses her the same way he would miss limb, hard to adjust to at first but at some point it becomes the only life you know. Itâs learning to live without, even if you wish you werenât. Heâs spent exactly x amount of days without Clarke, itâs just another one. And another one. Normal. It becomes normal and he hates that.
