#bff reader

♡ 𝒪. Dazai -`♡´-

It isn't difficult for Dazai to get people he wants, simply walking up to them, flirting his way with ease through the conversation, and gaining their number by the end of it. He has no troubles expressing his admiration and adoration for those he finds awe-strikingly beautiful, galivanting his way up to their side with some smooth line and a graceful chuckle, and they're hooked, line and sinker, in a matter of seconds.

You will watch from afar as he does this countless times, observing in silence, not quite understanding what he is doing, or how the people he speaks to have sudden flushed cheeks, giggles that sound like melodies, and accept kisses on hands from a stranger. On any other ordinary day, that would be a nightmare scenario for you, being approached by some guy that thinks he has a chance at going on a date with you and then daring to touch you without your permission. You have never understood the complexities of romance, finding actions by those blinded by "love" succumbing to such idiotic outbursts and saying the dumbest things merely because someone told them they were pretty more or less embarrassing.

In summation, you believed there wasn't any possible way for you to fall victim to "crushes" since you are hyper aware of yourself at all times, and no one has ever earned the privilege of catching your eye enough to make you stumble over your own words in conversation.

At least, you believed that until you're standing on the sidewalk watching Dazai yuck it up with some random girl ahead of you, leaning against the building while she is practically pinned beneath him, and an incredibly foreign feeling is stirring in your chest at the sight. She giggles and twirls her hair, other hand coming up to rest on his chest, and you're too caught up in watching her to see that he has been side-eyeing you repeatedly - to make sure you are seeing this.

Now, Dazai has noticed a few months ago you had begun to exhibit weird behavior whenever around him: your sentences are no longer stringed with prolific thought and unwavering confidence, but you have resorted to shutting up or providing short answers; you sit a little closer to him on the subway; if you two touch, you immediately pull away, and he has caught on numerous occasions how terribly your hands shake. He'll watch as you stare down at them with furrowed brows before stowing them away in your pockets, pretending none of that happened, and continue on with your day as he walks beside you. He has taken note that you have recently become a bit hostile toward him whenever he stops to talk to someone in efforts to obtain their number.

That was the final piece to the puzzle of your mind he has been trying to put together, coming to the conclusion on his own before you could: you like him. Which is about time, since I've been trying to get you to notice me romantically for almost a year now. Plus, he may or may not have discussed it with Ranpo to help him meet the deduction - who only assisted in the matter for a month's worth of lunches and 'a Ramune a day' as bribery to keep it hush for using his "ability" on you.

You stand there, awkwardly, this new emotion rampaging, but you have to wait for him to finish. Just... stand here and wait. That thought bothers you, and you can't understand why. You have been experiencing strange happenings where your heart is irregular, no matter how many visits to the doctor you make - you've been going so often that the doctor has to turn you away until you're actually having a heart attack. When you express concern that you think you are, she just rolls her eyes and sends you on your way. You can't bring yourself to talk to anyone about this, and you're worried mentioning it to Dazai won't be of much help since he isn't a medical professional.

Eyes flicker between the girl gushing over him and your friend laughing as he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, and that seems to be your undoing. You storm up to them, those mischievous amber eyes on you immediately, the shadow of his infamous smirk plastered on his lips, and she gives you a strange look. "We're leaving." You demand, speaking for both of you, and she glances at him.

"Do you know them?" She tosses a thumb in your direction, and that makes... whatever is happening worse.

"Yes, he knows me! He ditched me to come talk to you for some weird reason when we are supposed to be spending time together!" You huff, primarily throwing all of this in his face, and he is still wearing that infuriating arrogance you have seen too many times to count. His attention is off the stranger, her name gone with the wind, and he gazes at you intently. "I'm glad you find this so funny." You spit, eyes narrowing at him. "God, when will you ever take anything seriously?" You scoff, shaking your head and stomping off in the opposite direction you came.

He pushes himself off the side of the building, but his bandaged arm is snatched by the girl, whose brows are raised in question. "What?" His tone is flat, making her give him an incredulous look.

"Aren't you wanting to go out?" She asks, since that was apparently the point of the conversation. His head slowly cocks, eyeing her up and down, then lets out a laugh of disbelief.

"Don't flatter yourself. I was using you to make them jealous," he slips his arm away, leaving her shocked with jaw slacked to race back up to your side. You're fuming, partially from the stunt he pulled and the other part because you haven't the slightest clue of what's wrong.

He falls into step with you, but you purposefully ignore him, digging around for your headphones to shove in your ears, but his hand comes up to stop you, and he is still sporting that dumb smile. "Have we figured it out yet?" He asks, and you blink up at him.

"Figured what out? That you're an annoying, arrogant man whore that talks to anything that breathes?" You stop yourself from going further, lips parting and just as surprised with yourself as he is for your words. You eye him up and down repeatedly, fingers trembling like all the times before, and your heart is not only pumping a mile a minute but aching from seeing him with that other girl. He shares a similar look, continuing to hold onto your wrist, and his eyes suddenly soften, the aura of his inflated ego melting away.

"I've noticed you've been having a difficult time understanding some stuff," he begins, and you want to be surprised he's noticed, but it's Dazai - he's so observant, he could see a broken arm before I could feel it.

Alas: "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm doing just fine."

"Did it bother you seeing me talk to her?" He probes, gesturing vaguely to where he left the stranger behind, and your eyes couldn't help following that direction to see she is long gone. Your neck slowly cranes back to look at him, swallowing, and nod. "Do you know why?" You hesitated, eyes dropping down to the ground, then shake your head. "Would it help if I told you why?" Your line-of-sight snaps back to meet his, jaw flexing and relaxing, cheeks getting warm when you realize his large, gorgeous hand is still holding onto you.

"Go ahead and enlighten me, detective," you murmur, almost a whisper, trying to uphold yourself as if none of this is getting to you.

"Don't get mad," he gently sings, wearing a normal smile fit for a normal person, and his eyes are lively in the afternoon sun beaming down on him. The sight quickens your pulse, and quite frankly, pisses you off. "It's because you have a crush on me." He tells you, and you stare at him, unblinking. "Yeah, it's true. You have romantic feelings for me. You wanna be more than my friend." He keeps going, and you begin lightly shaking your head, brows knitting together. He nods in response to your declination.

"Oh yeah," he eggs on, knowing for a fact this is eating away at you. "You wanna hug me, and kiss me, and maybe even go on a date with me!" He is now relentlessly, tortuously teasing you with all of this, your face beet red and hotter than the asphalt, making him laugh more. "And then, maybe after that, you wanna sleep with me!" He takes it so far you get flustered, hands flailing around that you drop your earbud and have to cover your face, because you truly never thought this to be possible. You still don't understand anything that is happening to you, having to take his word for it, and you think you're going to throw up.

"I'm gonna kill myself!" You scream, tearing off down the sidewalk, and Dazai couldn't get more of a kick out of this, swiftly nabbing your abandoned earbud before racing after you, closing the gap quickly due to his long legs, continuing to tease you like a couple of fifth graders on the playground.

♡ 𝒞. Nakahara 𐚁

You stand there with your hands at your side, fingers twitching every so often while you stare ahead at Chuuya, receiving orders from him for the next mission, but you can't seem to concentrate. Your brows knit together briefly in different intervals, and your heart seems to be pounding in your chest as you are in the same room as him. This has been happening more frequently, no explanation, no amount of deep thought can help you understand what is going on. The only thing you have been able to deduce is it only happens around Chuuya. You were sure to test the theory by being alone with many other people you know and talk to, and your heart rate stayed steady the entire time.

You had been running experiments on yourself since you have also hit a wall in conversation. Usually, you could engage perfectly fine with the executive without issue; however, roughly around the same time your heart decided to beat erratically, you have been stumbling over your words, getting flustered, and you're trying way too hard to avoid saying anything embarrassing - not something you were concerned with prior. You have reduced yourself down to silence, and unfortunately for you, he's taken notice.

He stops speaking, you don't realize it, and he is staring at you: your chest rises and falls more unevenly; you're not just still, you're rigid; eyebrows twitch; the corner of your mouth flinches; fingers flex and relax quickly, repeatedly; your eyes are spinning in your sockets. His brow gradually raises, slowly setting the packet down, and he just continues his observation. He is able to recognize you aren't listening to him; you're staring through him. "Are you high?" He blurts, your state similar to someone attempting to pass it off, in the most unsubtle way possible, that they are not under the influence.

The question snaps you back to this reality, blinking rapidly, and shooting him an incredulous look. "I beg your finest pardon?" You scoff, arms folding over your chest. "I don't do drugs." You tell him, pointed. "I'm actually incredibly insulted you would even accuse me of that, Mr. Nakahara." Your nose turns up, pulse cranking up to an inhumane beat, and he nods slightly.

"Then why're ya actin' weird?" An eye peeks out at him before turning more to avoid looking at him.

"I am perfectly perfect, fine, and normal," you fumble over your tongue, using an excessive amount of words, saying it with full confidence, and he can't help but let out a puzzled chuckle, walking over to you with those calculated and slow steps. Each one makes your nerves buzz, your bloodstream turn to ice, and pricks at your ears with each soft clack clack clack along the polished floor.

"People that are 'perfectly perfect, fine, and normal' don't usually avoid eye contact when proving they are," he circles in front of you, thumb and finger carefully grabbing your chin to force you to look at him, so he can thoroughly examine what could be causing the issue for your weird behavior, but all he notices is how red your cheeks are getting instead. We've been close before, this isn't new. His face is insanely close, noses almost touching, so he can better examine you, and the faint scent of his fading cologne is still strong enough to invade your senses, and the light smirk on his lips is making you want to die. Why in the world do I feel this way?! It's just Chuuya!

"Ya got a fever or somethin'?" He asks then, your face immensely flushed, then carefully removes his glove to press the back of his warm hand to your forehead. You're shutting up now, no witty remarks or playful backtalk like you typically throw at him, just standing there in front of him with sweat on your lip and in your trembling palms. "Never seen ya act this way. What's goin' on?" He cocks his head, removing his hand to pull the glove back on, and you swallow as your fingers come up to touch your cheeks. They're burning against your ice cold fingertips.

"I uhm..." You clear your throat, hands drifting back down to your sides, and you shift in your spot, avoiding looking at him directly - you know those stunning blue and brown eyes are analyzing you, and it makes your skin set aflame under your suit, feeling exposed to a degree no other human being has ever experienced. "I have been feeling... strange." You start, unsure how to begin telling him what you're going through, and the air is cold. He waits, expectantly, trying to catch your downcast gaze, a bit antsy himself as his teeth carefully chew on the inside of his cheek. I wanna be patient, but I also wish you'd just spit it out.

"I don't really understand what's going on," you admit, shoulders slumping, and your hands come back up to fiddle with your fingers, making his brow cock upward. "I've been running some personal tests to see if maybe I need to see a doctor, and I kind of did go. And the results were embarrassing." The worst part was that the doctor was Mori, and he just kind of chuckled before sending you off.

"Well, embarrassing is better than dyin'," Chuuya gestures for you to continue, his interest piqued now, given he knows how rational you are with yourself and others, running experiments on yourself isn't out of the ordinary - but an embarrassing diagnosis? I'm all ears. "Go ahead, you can tell me. I'd say we're close enough to share these kinds of things." Your eyes dart up to meet his, a strange sincerity nestled in that two-toned gaze you hadn't seen before, and your heart shot itself up so far in your throat, you choked. His hands are immediately out, to try to help you, but you wave him off as you cough into your elbow.

"Wh-Whenever I'm near you..." You inhale, wiping the small tears that formed at the corners of your eyes, slowly releasing it, and shake out your hands. "Whenever I'm near you, I can't breathe. My heart is constantly racing, and I get nervous, and it's really difficult to talk to you." He blinks once, face frozen with a quizzical expression, and he doesn't know what to make of that. "When I went to Mori, for a checkup because I was worried about such an irregular heartbeat per minute, he just... laughed at me, saying it was a 'crush'!" You emphasize the "diagnosis" the in-house mafia doctor told you, after reassuring you otherwise your levels are normal, and Chuuya's body is the rigid one now. He stares at you, baffled and bemused that you openly admitted that your issue is that you like him, then he remembers you aren't well-versed in the area of romance and lack comprehension with feelings such as love. From his understanding, you've never experienced a crush - he feels a little honored he's your first one.

Wait... A crush on me?!

He suddenly lets out an airy, almost arrogant chuckle, making attempts to bounce back from his shock, and the lopsided smile on his mouth is sending your fight or flight into overdrive. Your body trembles, hands tremoring with anticipation shivers, and your teeth chatter. "Easy, babe. I tend to have that effect on people." He croons, tone cool, and your brows furrow. What kind of effect on people?

"Babe...?" You echo, and the arrogance is dwindling once again. Shit, forgot who I was talking to. "Chuuya, I'm really confused." You confess, voice pitching to helplessness, and the embarrassment is worsening. He clears his throat, standing up straighter and drops his arms down to his side, trying to become serious.

"How you're feelin' is what happens to people when they like someone else. More than a friend," he explains, trying to be gentle, but he kind of feels like he is speaking to a toddler. You look at him with big eyes, the innocence and lack of understanding prominent, and he wets his lips as he chooses his next words carefully. "You feel like that, around me, because you like me more than a friend." He speaks a bit slower, and you nod once.

"Right..." You nod once more. "Are we sure it's just not an anxiety attack? I do get those often and it feels quite similar to this." He stops for a brief second before letting out another laugh, covering his mouth, but it's too late since you already saw and heard him, and your heart palpitates in place. "I think it's happening again right now." You breathe, pointing to your heart. He would be way more flattered over this if he didn't need to help you work through these newfound emotions.

"Do you feel anxious?" He asks, stepping closer, closing any gap there may have still been, and your nose wrinkles.

"N-No?"

"Then it's not an anxiety attack," he soothes, head tilting, chain on his hat following his movements and clinking softly. "Don't worry, I'm more than happy to help ya sort this shit out, yeah?" He offers his hand to you, and you glance down at it before meeting his eyes again. His fingers merely extend out more, inviting you, and you hesitantly rest it down in his palm - not before trying to jerk it away at first, forcing him to grab your fingers as delicately as possible so you don't run away.

"Let's try this," he brings your hand up near his face, and you watch him closely, suspicion raising, before his lips carefully, gently, place a lingering kiss to your knuckles. It feels like you just got shot right in the chest, steam coming out of your ears, and you quite literally yank your arm away to turn on your heel and bolt out of the door. He stares after you, bewildered, hand slowly grabbing his hat to pull it down over his face, and he starts bursting out into laughter with cheeks about as deep as scarlet.

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