#bfb08txt

That was day 3 of 28, starting a little earlier than planned. Right before going to sleep, still technically day 2, I had a big leak. A very unexpected and heavy wet at that moment, and a small tear didn’t help either. Luckily it didn’t reach the bed yet, but my onesie was completely soaked and there was a small wet spot on the floor. I cleaned everything up, changed, and then went to sleep anyway.

This morning I woke up dry, but that didn’t last very long. Shortly after waking up I got properly wet. Quite a lot actually, especially considering the wetting before sleep, so at least I can say I drank enough. At first I thought there would be no morning surprise this time, probably because yesterday I already had two. But just before I was about to change anyway, there it was, a small extra surprise after all. I changed and headed to work.

During work today I really struggled with letting go. I could clearly feel the pressure building, but I just couldn’t do it while sitting in my office chair. Only when I stood up and walked to the pantry to get some water and coffee did I manage to let go at around 13.00, and even then it was difficult at first. After work, in the supermarket, I eventually managed to relax enough again, but the flow still didn’t come very naturally. All in all, it’s clear I still have some learning to do when it comes to a shy bladder outside the house.

Of course, almost as soon as I was nearly home, it went without any issue at all, which only confirmed the above. The Megamax was really well filled, although I think if you didn’t know, you wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at my butt (pic 1). Still, changing was definitely necessary (pic 2).

Right now I am wearing a pull-up because I am about to go work out. That’s also better for my skin, since I have a slightly irritated spot on my butt despite using powders and creams.

Lately, I have had several weekends and weekdays where I was diapered. After reading blogs and reflecting on how those weekends made me feel, I decided that I want to do the full month of February in diapers. My life getting busier and more active should not be a reason to hold me back. It just means that better planning is needed.

I put on my diaper last night after returning from winter sports, and I am currently checking that my stash will last until the 28th. I have enough to get me to the point where the new stash will definitely arrive in time.

The reason I am doing this is that I have become much more open about this side of myself over the years. I have told quite a few people about these feelings and that it is part of who I am, and so far I have not had any bad reactions. If people do not react badly, why would it be so terrible if I were ever discovered by those same people. I am not looking to get caught, of course, but it does help me deal with the shame around it. I also want to experience whether I truly enjoy having it on all the time, like I did during those two weeks back then, or if it takes away from the sense of safety that I value so much.

Rules:

Always wear padding. This can be a full diaper or a pull up, depending on activities.

I get one hour of air out time per day after showering. My skin is sensitive to rashes, so this is necessary.

At home, diapers must be used for all intended purposes, no matter the situation. No holding back. During air out time, holding back is also not an option. I will take measures to protect furniture.

Outside the house, lettig go #1 is mandatory when no one will be offended or harmed by it. I am not seeking that thrill.

Outside the house, lettig go #2 is only allowed when a quick change is imminent, or again when no one will be offended or harmed. I am not seeking that thrill.

I will try to post a short blog update here every day, but please do not judge me if there are days when I do not post. Life happens.

Last week I went on a holiday. Came back this saturday and had the overwelming feeling to wear which I have not had in a very long time.

So I gave into it and have been diapered since. Have not seen a toilet since and feels totaly fine. Slept 3 nights with my paci and feel bad when I have to take it out in the morning. Even at work I feel totaly comfortable.

Strange how this can be there sometimes and not always. Anyway planning to continu as I like it. Only thing is the gym. With padel it is easy to hide but at my gym it might be a lot harder. So thinking of going pullups for that time.