#betterdatethannever

If this date was a song:

Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boyz

The Date:

Pretty sure this is my favorite date so far. 

So before we even met, Ethan Hunt (BECAUSE HE IS OKAYYY) told me that we're going to have a checklist and deadlines to check off a list of things that we needed to do on that date. I cringed because when a man says something like that you expect it to be sexual fantasies BUT IT WASNT. 

He said he'd bring the list to the date, i just needed to get comfortable shoes. CHECK. 

We met. He's cute. He's tall and lovely and hugs me like that's the last hug he'll ever give. No complaints. It was cuddly and i didn't want to let go. 

He produces the check list: 

Get high on qawwali at Haji Ali

Sit down on the steps of Asiatic Society library

Dangle your feet, lean back on your palms and enjoy the sea from the Marine Drive promenade

Gola at Juhu beach

Find two particular books that we tell each other to at Strand

Raspberry soda at a Parsi Cafe

Walk through a koliwada

SWEET JESUS. 

Safe to safe, we checked off everything on it. It only took 9-10 hours to complete all of it. 

Post that I just wanted to get home and sleep. I hugged ETHANHUNT goodbye, set up Date #2, this time I'd make the list and walked into my building compound. 

I showered and slept like a baby. 

Things I've learned:

- There's still a lot to see and do in this city. 

If this date was a song:

Creep - Radiohead

The Date:

Pick any two. 

What I've learned:

If this date was a song:

Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Color

The Date:

No we didn't K-I-S-S, but he did keep it simple, stupid. 

We went to Hoppi Polla in Khar. #25 was nice. He had a lot of charm and the cutest crinkle when he smiled. As we got to know each other, we felt this weird comfort about each other, the kind where you can make otherwise-offensive jokes about the other and not get offended by it, you know? 

We spoke about the usual. Family, friends, love, life, love lifes, sports, politics, religion, current events, past dates, why i'm doing the project, future plans, hobbies, passions, what do we love doing, what we look for and like in the opposite sex, what we do for fun, our favorite places, what we don't like about ourselves. 

We shared a mushroom risotto and fries. 

We played 27 games of Uno. And kept score. 

We played tennis on their wii machine and agreed we were horrendous at it. We didnt keep score. 

We spoke about criminal records (YEP), our favorite childhood memories, hidden talents, if we're leaders or followers, if we believe in time travel, circumstances or people that have changed our lives, oddest food we've eaten. 

We played scrabble. He kept score. 

We spoke about our greatest achievements, most memorable birthdays, recent life changes, what we would do if we won the lottery, our favorite subjects in school, our worst relationships, things that get us excited. 

Michelle: 156 points | #25 - 112 points. 

We spoke about our theory on deja vu, our oldest memory, five things we can’t live without, movies we're ashamed to admit we love, books have we've read more than once. 

Michelle: 208 points | #25 - 200 points.

We walk out for a smoke. 

We spoke about vices and why he thinks I should stop smoking. I lit another cigarette. 

We go in and order more to drink. 

We play 20 questions. 

We laugh, we laugh cry and we have such an incredible time. 

We both have other engagements and had earlier decided to leave within a particular time and now that time has come. So we pay the bill and walk out. We plan to meet for karaoke next. 

Sigh. That was lovely. I needed that. 

What I've learned:

- Dates that are filled with activities and games kill awkward silences. 

- I like men. I'll always like them. Even if I've had horrible experiences. 

Hello, so I'm 27 dates down, have blogged only 24 though. 

Considering most dates usually revolve around the same string of topics, it gets boring to write about it. I can see personal changes happening and I think they're right on the mark. I'll detail a longer post on it. 

Also i'm capping the project to 50 dates instead of 100 because at the current rate, i'll be glad if i can even hit 30. 

Date 1 - Never saw him again. 

Date 2 - We've hung out a bit but not in a date like setting. He's sweet. I've met the wife. They're lovely. 

Date 3 - We've spoken once of twice after the date but havent met again, yet. 

Date 4 - We're currently on Date #4 and it has been fun. Incredibly lots of fun. No commitment and no expectations. 

Date 5 - We chat online quite a bit. Nothing more than that. 

Date 6 - We've had Date #2 as well but this one travels quite a bit and doesnt text unless I text him first. I've given up. 

Date 7 - Never saw him again. He texts me on the occasional night when he's drunk and horny. I ignore. 

Date 8 - Once I got out of the funk I was with, I went on another date with this boy. Infact, i think we're still dating :) 

Date 9 - We've seen each other once every two - three weeks since our first date. I'm really warming up to this man. And on occasion when the little one is around, we cook dinner together. 

Date 10 - Never saw him again. Deleted and blocked his number too. 

If this date was a song:

Meghan Trainor - Close Your Eyes

The Date:

Straight off the bat, we clicked. I liked this boy so much. We had the same humour and taste in horribly cheesy music. I just wanted to meet him as soon as possible. Not in an 'oh my god i wanna do him' way but more like 'this is going to be incredibly fun.'

I wasn't wrong. 

Dang (that's not his real name but he said it a lot and initially i found it funny but then it got endearing) was 29, 3 days older to me, phew. We decided to meet at Colaba Social because I'm not someone who ventures beyond Bandra and this project is all about discovery, innit? LOL INNIT LOL DANG

We met outside, Dang was in jeans and a crisp white shirt and sneakers. He had a comfortable smile. He looked like one of those people you'd imagine a particular personality to look like. Like in your head. Am I making sense? Like if you imagined a person to be happy-go-lucky, charming and hippie-like, you'll get a particular image in your head about it? So he looked exactly how I imagined he would. SCORE. 

We walked in, had a ten minute wait for a table and so thumb-warred it until we were seated. Clearly, we weren't going to behave ourselves tonight. We ordered way too much food and WAY more alcohol but we were the type of people who disliked making decisions so this method worked for our madness. 

Right off the bat we spoke about Damien Rice's new album. Then we spoke about Keaton Henson, Joe Purdy, Piers Faccini, Newton Faulkner and Aqualung. 

We spoke a whole lot more about music and realized that we had similar questions about songs that confused us. For example:

- Are we human or are we dancer?

- Where do broken hearts go when they can't find their way home? 

- Did the Black Eyed Peas find out what Fergie did with all that junk inside her trunk, inside her trunk? Or really, where is the love?

- Did The Beatles eventually find out why we didnt do it in the road?

- If AC/DC found out Who made who? 

By this point, we were sufficiently high. We were also playing that game where the minute you hear a song, you need to identify the song name and artist and if you dont answer, then you have to drink a mouthful of your drink. Good job, Michelle. 

We spoke about our families and what our childhoods were like. I was very lucky growing up, my parents loved me to bits. They brought us up on a lot of love, we learned to love them back and respect them. We never feared them which probably didn't help them much when we were older. He told me about his siblings and how growing up in a large family has its disadvantages. We spoke about our parents' love marriages. 

Did The Isley Brothers ever find out Who That Lady was?

We spoke about school and our favorite subjects. We spoke about how we memorized lessons to the tunes of our favorite songs. Or just randomly make a song. My favorite was this one. I love the Aristotle dig, too. 

More alcohol was ordered. 

Did John Mayer eventually find out why, Georgia why?

We played the 20 questions game. I asked him what his favorite joke was, what would he do if he was a woman for a day, if he thought he was attractive, a silly talent he has, his biggest turn on and 15 others. He asked me what I would do if I won the lottery, what crime i'd commit if I knew I wouldn't ever get caught, what I was afraid of, what my favorite flavor of ice cream was, what I look for in a man and 15 other questions. 

Did Barry Mann find out who put the bomp in bomp ba bomp ba bomp?

We spoke about work. I've recently lost my job so we spoke about that. And what my options are going forward. It's a little frustrating considering the circumstances and I'm at my wits end applying for job after job. We spoke about his job and what he does. 

Did Sheryl Crow find out if he was strong enough to be her man?

We spoke about ice cream. We spoke about how we wanted ice cream right then, so we paid the bill and left on an adventure to find ice cream at approximately 12.30am in Colaba. 

Dang was lovely. Really lovely. He was fun and spontaneous and impulsive. At this point, I wasnt really sure if i was attracted to him. We were also tanked up on a lot of alcohol. We found ice cream in a creamless place, ate it while we walked around a little more. And then caught the last train home. It was lovely. And sweet. 

We didn't kiss. I woke up the next morning feeling like i should have, but I didn't. 

Did Cole Porter find out what this thing called love was?

What I've learned:

- There isnt a song in the world that can't relate to any situation in the world. 

- Without music, I'd feel VERY alone. 

- I need to start looking for jobs and not wait for the last minute. 

- I need to give boys who at first seem annoying, the benefit of the doubt. 

If this date was a song:

Don't - Ed Sheeran

The Date:

Unfortunately, this man doesnt want me to write about anything. Not even where we met or what we ate and what we spoke about or what he wore. 

But I will say this, the evening was pleasant and we will be seeing each other again. 

What I've learned:

- Not having to remember everything that happened and just enjoying spending time with someone is so exhilarating. 

- Maybe i should carry a voice recording. 

So I get a lot of questions regarding the project. And after a recent journalist asked me a bunch of questions and took the quotes she wanted, I figured I'd post the rest here, incase you guys wanted to know too. :) 

First off, why a Tumblr blog? Why not ask friends to set you up, or only stick to Tinder or OKCupid? 

Earlier this year, I realized that I can’t seem to let go of people who decide to walk out of my life, for whatever reason. People that I’ve invested time and energy in. I find it hard to move on while they’re already on their next girlfriend / friend / whatever. I realized that I needed to change, to make friends or get to know people without investing time and energy on them. The blog documents that change. It helps me understand and look at my behaviour objectively. As we get older, a lot of people say that they can’t change and you just need to deal with them with the way they are which I think is bullshit, I definitely do not want to be one of those people and so the blog helps with a little bit of self-critic and discovery. Friends do try to set me up and I do get most of my dates through Tinder / OkCupid, the blog plays no role in helping me get dates, yet. :)

Tell me about the first few responses you got. How had people discovered the blog?

All my online profiles tell people about the mission I’m on. The first few men who approached me were very interested in what I was doing and had a million questions about it. Honestly, a lot of them don’t even read the entire profile or blog, they get through the first couple of sentences and message, which is why I insist they read all the way through. I usually share blog links through my social accounts and that may have been a way some of the people would have found out about the project.

You are 16 dates into the project. How many of the men have you met for a second time? Is there anyone that you might consider for a serious relationship? 

21 dates actually, work and other stuff hasn’t allowed me to pen them down, they should ideally be up by Sunday :) I’ve met three of the men two or more times. I’ve gone into this project with an open mind, my priority is to get to know myself and love myself before I can learn to love someone else and not the other way round. However, I’m not closed to anything happening either but that’s not my primary intention.

How did your friends, family members react when they found out about the blog? Have you been on dates with some who you already knew in real life, or only strangers so far? 

My dad, mom and sister have all been very positive about the project. They’ve of course lectured me about safety but they’ve been pretty solid about it otherwise. I’m lucky in the way that my parents aren’t pressuring me into marriage and know I invest too much in others, so if this is my way to deal with it and make myself a better person, they’re supportive. The majority of my friends have been great about, except for one or two who think I’m only going to get hurt, and knowing me, their reaction is valid but I’ve always played it safe when it came to men and relationships, so I’m trying to break that pattern too. So far, I’ve gone on dates with men that I’ve met online.  

Tinder is fast gaining in popularity. How many guys from Tinder have you met? Tell me about those dates? 

Out of 21 dates, I’ve met 4 men off of Tinder. Those matches have been better because it’s mutual. They’ve made better friends than dates and it’s all very relaxed and social. Also because Tinder allows for mutual friends and likes, it’s easier to figure if you’d get along or not.

The perception in the US is that Tinder is a solely-focused-on-sex app. But here it seems to be working well just for dating too. Based on your experiences and of friends who might have gone on Tinder dates, what's your take on this? 

I’ve had my share of sleaze and men who think they’re god’s gift to women but I’ve also found some genuinely nice and funny men on Tinder. They’re intelligent and ambitious and from friends who’ve met people on Tinder, I think they feel just about the same. The great thing about these apps and websites is, if you don’t like someone or they’re troubling you, the ‘block’ feature is a life saver.

How does it compare with OKCupid? 

Tinder is better than OKCupid because you only get to know if you mutually match. If I like someone but he swipes left on my profile, we will never know. OKCupid is slightly worse for wear, you find all sorts of people approach you but then again I am pretty selective about those whom I respond to.

With so many apps, dating services around, do you think it is getting easier for singles to meet interesting people? 

Obviously, these apps and services have substantially made a difference but also as a community and generation, people are a little more open about striking up conversations at bars or pubs with strangers who don’t look like sociopaths.

And finally, what has been your most memorable date so far?