Hi, my name is Marlene and welcome to Challenger!! Some of you are familiar with a newsletter that I wrote and published years ago that addressed women and the challenges involved with the responsibilities of running a home as a wife and a mother, “Created Woman”. Whereas now I am still a mom, time has dealt me a new set of cards. Divorced and three kids in tow.  My oldest daughter is off to her freshman year of college, my youngest daughter is now in middle school.  My son... incarcerated.  That’s right my first born, my man child is amongst what some people refer to as a statistic. What you don’t know is I am prouder of him at this time in his life than I have ever been.  Never in a million years did I invision my son going down this path, my first born. Nevertheless, I am extremely proud of the man I watched him become.

I will start by saying that I have spent the last two years on an emotional rollercoaster. In and out of depression and doing a pretty job hiding it from my family and my friends. Using Facebook as my shield, I hid in plain sight, faking the funk. I had it down, presenting myself as the strong woman I was known to be. That’s who I had to be! It was as if I was being thrown hard ball after hard ball from every direction with no protective gear. What I was going through was nothing compared to what my son was going through...he was better at hiding it than his mama.

There are a few calls that you will never want to receive as a parent, as a mother.  One of which I received.   I will never forget that collect call I received from “an inmate at San Luis Obispo County Jail”, my son.  My heart sank and I began to cry uncontrollably. He had gotten into trouble with four of his teammates, him carrying the unloaded gun.  Why son?  I taught you better!! What the hell was he thinking?!?!  It was the longest ride I had ever taken.   I had to bail him out. I couldn’t let my son go to jail.. That’s not who I raised!!!  When I saw him, the look of shame was none like I had ever seen. He instantly became the small child I dropped off for the first day of kindergarten. That person is nothing like the one he is today!

Over the last two years I have watched him emerge into the man I released to the California Department of Corrections.  I’ve witnessed  him push himself to become the best person he knew how to be. Not once did he put his education on hold.  He came home enrolled at Mount San Antonio College and continued to pursue his degree in Kinesiology. I didn’t consider the stress of the black cloud that was weighing on him daily.  Over the past two years as he walked into each classroom, track and football field,  it was there.  Every time he conquered a hurdle, it was there.  Every time he completed an assignment, it was there. Every time he passed and received the baton from his teammates, it was there.  When he ran his last race and took state in the men’s 110 meter high hurdles, it was there.  When he took state for the men’s 4x100 meter relay with his team, it was there.  And best believe when he received scholarship offers from schools like Oklahoma, Alabama, Arizona State, New Mexico, University of California at Irvine and University of California at Berkeley for track...it was there. All while he was waiting for his future to be decided  by a stranger, a judge in San Luis Obispo County.   

I saw first hand how he was able to turn his life around despite what threatened his future.  Not once did he give up.  Not once did he doubt God or His love for him. He pressed on.  As a mother it was frustrating to watch.  I wanted him to get a job and prepare for the worst.  Not this kid...He went to what he knew.  His sports... football and track and he excelled.  He maintained his focus regardless of the opposition he got from home.  I can be honest enough to say, I did not support him in the way he deserved to be supported. I prayed...but I didn’t support his journey or how he decided to process what was to become of his future.

His growth was obvious the day of sentencing. Before he went before the judge,  I watched my son go to each person that came to support him and say thank you and give words of encouragement. He was the one whose life was on the line, why was he GIVING encouragement?  Who is this kid?  

He was given the opportunity to speak before sentencing and I literally saw my son become a man before my eyes. He very courageously took responsibility for his actions. He apologized to Cal Poly, the court, the citizens of the San Luis Obispo, his friends,  his extended family, his sisters, parents and grandparents one at a time. He stated that his mistake did not define who he was as a person or his future,  but that he was ready to take responsibility for his actions.

The judged sentenced Cam to 5 years and 2 months.  

It hit us hard because we saw the transformation he made, the hard work he put in and his determination to be and do better. My son looked at me and mouthed, “I’m gonna be alright” and nodded his head.  Although it hurt, it gave me peace to know that my son was taking it like a man... he did not fall apart knowing that everything he had worked so hard for came to a screeching halt. This is the day I said goodbye to my little boy and see you later a man.

Although I knew he would be fine, my heart still hurt and I fell apart...My daughters were with friends and other relatives and I was at home for 4 days sitting in the dark, crying...privately of course. What happened? What do I do now? Get up, Chick! Pull yourself together. You have two other children who need you; the real you, not the fake you that you have been pretending to be for the last two years.  Slowly, I picked myself up; spending time at the “happiest place on earth” with a few friends to pass the time and days. I had the support of my son’s Godmother, who was feeling the sting of this whole situation just as fiercely as I was. Then of course, there were what I like to refer to as my morning “shenanigan calls” from Ms. J who would check in with me every morning on my way to work and remind me that; as a child therapist, how much my client’s needed and depended on me. These are the people with whom I have come to depend on to keep me present.  I am very grateful for each of them as they all have played different, yet important parts in helping me to stay grounded.

It was during a random text from my support group did the idea of completing a self improvement journey as Cameron was completing his ‘mandated’ self improvement journey.  This was a way to be in solidarity with Cam while he was incarcerated. The idea was shared with a few close friends who equally shared my enthusiasm.  And just like that; a random text message gave birth to Challenge 62.

I have been asked how are you functioning? How are you keeping it together? This challenge (no pun intended) has given me a new focus.  Cameron has written several letters and with each letter it is obvious, he is not the same person.  He has grown into someone I am more proud to call my son then ever before.  He is taking responsibility for his actions and doing what is expected of him.  I won’t lie… I still cry and it is painful, but I am confident that God’s plan for Cameron’s life is at work. I am excited to see what God intends for him.

Challenge 62 Explained

Challenge 62 exists for the purpose of demonstrating to Cameron that he is not alone in this journey while we embark on our own self-improvement journeys in increments of 62. Whether it is 62 days, weeks or months, the point is to do it by 62.  This challenge is a call to action to improve our own lives and in doing so; keep Cameron motivated to do the same.  Those who participate are asked to send in their challenges and to write Cameron one time per month and he in turn will write them.  Why 62?  5 years and 2 months comes to 62 months, his sentencing time.  We are all praying that his time is reduced of course.

Through this blog you will get information related to your challenges and Cameron’s progress. We will have information to address challenge commitments such as physical, financial, mental and spiritual.  We are using this as a tool to encourage and motivate everyone who has agreed to take on the challenge; to keep us focused and ensure we all make it to 62.

Everyone’s input is welcomed!  Please submit your success stories regarding your challenge commitments. We also want to hear about any obstacles that you have had; both scenarios are helpful and important.  Share your knowledge. There is nothing too small, please share your stories.

What next

While working aimlessly to make sure Challenge 62 is successful and operating as intended; other ideas have been dropped in my spirit with a vengeance. I have been blessed enough to have people around me that care about me, Cameron and our family to help birth an even bigger vision.  You will hear from them as they share information in their area of knowledge and expertise. This is just the beginning and we are so excited for where this is going.  Stay tuned!