#bethydark

And here we are: crisis mode

It’s been a good long time since I’ve felt like my typically quasi-functional MS self. I think that’s been obvious by my unwillingness to write about it. I mean, when have I ever gone three full months without writing a single word? Never. Not since I could hold a pen and write words with it. Everytime I start to put words on a page, I get lost, then I quit and say, “Maybe tomorrow.” Then…

The things we don’t talk about (Volume 2)

Back in 2017, before my MS went into hyper-speed mode, I shared what I thought at the time was a very open and vulnerable post about some of the body image issues that re-emerged for me two years into my diagnosis. It wasn’t easy for me to hit “publish” on that post called “Broken eyes, broken brains and the things we don’t talk about.” I re-read it just now trying to get back to the headspace I…

Here we go again.

I used to get all geared up for these end of year posts, back when I was a blog writing newbie. I could feel the inspiration flowing before I even sat down to write. Last year was tough, though, and while I struggled to put a positive spin on 2018, I eventually got there and found my way to finding the good in that no-good very bad year.

And now I find myself writing a very similar post to last…

Bethy Bright and Dark 2.0

Here’s the thing about putting all your business on the Internet (as my mother calls what I do)…it means when bad things happen you feel compelled to share the news even when you’re not quite ready to talk about the news. This is one of those times.

I’ve agonized over this and I’m still agonizing over it this morning but someone said something to me yesterday that kind of hit me hard and that…

4.6 + 11 + 1 = one hot mess

I’ve never been good at math.

I was a writing major in college. Even more, I was a creative writing major (with a minor in political science but who cares about that) and I was then and am now terrible at math. I can’t add numbers in my head. I can spin sensible words out of just about any old thing but math? Numbers? I’ve learned that’s what Excel is for. And that calculator app on my phone.

Wishing I had one of these

New hair…same old me.

I’ve said before that I’ve never run a marathon before. So when people tell me this experience is a marathon and not a sprint, I struggle to put that into any kind of relevant context for me, the non-runner, the committed non-athlete. I have friends who have run marathons so I have some idea of what’s involved merely by being an observer. But personal experience with…

The unexpected upside of Lemtrada

Reader. I cannot tell a lie. This image made me snort.

Before anyone gets too excited, I use that image above ironically at best. I mean, I’m not laying in bed moaning or weeping but I’m also not out skipping in the meadows with butterflies. First of all, it’s November in Western Pennsylvania. It’s goddamn cold out there, people. Or so I’ve been told.

Second, I never expected to be skipping…

Musions on Infusions: 20% Down

Who knew when I painted this two panel self-portrait oh-so-long ago that it would come in so very handy over the years.

I When I started this Lemtrada journey on Monday I had every intention of doing a daily blog describing the day-by-day experiences of the treatment. After my first day I struggled with that idea quite a bit.

The thing is, the first day was harrowing y’all. It wasn’t something I…