#bethecrayon

LIVI ILY THANK YOU 🥺🙏❤️❤️❤️

7. hair-ties or scrunchies?

both!

hairties when my hair is short, scrunchies for when my hair is longer

34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?

yes, i know plenty

no, i am not listing any of them bc there are so. many.

have a red velvet gif instead lol

"Lake Michigan", Rogue Wave

"Love Me Dead", Ludo

"Lazy Eye", Silversun Pickups

"Loot My Body", Man Man

17. Tongue Tied — Grouplove

Take me to your best friend's house Goin' 'round this roundabout, oh yeah Oh, take me to your best friend's house I loved you then and I love you now, oh yeah

Music blaring and a party ahead of them, Ransom and Holster loudly arguing just for fun in the front, Lardo leaning in to join, Shitty shouting from the trunk; if you zoomed out, Bitty thinks they’d be the most obnoxious car on the planet. He hides a smile behind a yelled counterpoint just to set them off again.

It’s nice, this. It’s been way too long since they’ve done something like this.

Next to him, Jack shifts in his seat. He looks just this side of pained, but hey, Bitty did tell him he’d take the middle if he wanted. No one with an NHL ass and salary would be comfortable taking middle hump in Holster’s cramped backseat.

“I told you we could’ve swapped,” Bitty says, speaking loud enough to be heard over the music but not loud enough for anyone else to hear.

Jack leans in a little. “Can’t hear you, Bittle.”

The Jeep swerves to avoid a pothole, and Bitty sways into Jack’s space. Jack steadies him with a firm hand to his upper back, and Jack smells good. Bitty nearly sways further and smells his shirt before remembering where they are and what they aren’t. He sits up instead.

“I said I would’ve gone in the middle,” he says, and now Jack shrugs.

They’re stopping at a streetlight; the light washes yellow, red, perfect on Jack’s cheeks, delicately cups his jaw. And then Jack glances at him, and fuck, okay. In this moment they’ve crafted — the noise, the streetlights, the residual trace of lavender from whatever Jack’s wearing — Bitty might be a little gone on him.

It feels like sophomore year wrapped all nice and neat in a little bow. This is gonna be an impossible car ride. Add this bump, those thighs touching thighs, these shoulders brushing; some things just don’t go away that easily.

Jack says, “I don’t mind it,” and when Bitty turns, Jack looks a little shy. He nudges Bitty’s knee. “Definitely worse things.”

Bitty says, “Yeah? Like what?” because it’s safer than are you looking at me like that on purpose? Is this — a turn, and Jack bumps into him again — intentional?

“Oh … just,” Jack says, and for a wild moment Bitty thinks he’s blushing. “Like missing your shot three years ago, and having to pretend to be fine about it, even when you’re in the backseat of the shittiest car ever—”

“—get fucked, Zimmermann!”

“— sitting next to — fuck you, Holster — sitting next to the guy you lost out on.” Jack shoves Holster’s shoulder and Holster flips him off. Jack laughs a little, facing him again. His smile turns a little sad. “That’s worse.”

When he speaks, Bitty’s voice is very small. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he says. They could’ve been something for the past three years. How do you make up for that sort of lost time?

“S’okay,” Jack says. He sighs. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s been eating me up, and you look so good tonight, and. Well. It just needed to be said, that’s all.”

Bitty says, “Kiss me,” a question and not, and Jack blinks.

“What?”

And then it’s I don’t know what to say but I know what to do, I do, don’t you? and fuck, hey, I never knew and then it’s closed eyes and leaning and something sweet on Jack’s tongue, something strawberry and something citrus. Three years — Jack kisses like it’s been thirty, all-encompassing and gentle, like he’s asking a question while doing his best to answer everything Bitty hasn’t said.

They break apart once Shitty starts whooping, break apart when Ransom and Holster and Lardo start arguing over settling bets, fall together again as Holster drives them around a roundabout.

And it’s this: their loud-ass friends, Jack’s lips soft. And it’s this: Bitty’s hands on Jack’s shoulders, hips, chest, everywhere he’s ever wanted to touch, moving awkward from the way the seatbelts pull them back. And it’s this: Holster parks the car and Bitty’s outside in half a breath and pulling Jack out after him, leaning against the Jeep and stretching up to keep kissing him.

I loved you back then, Bitty’s kisses are saying. He thinks Jack knows. He thinks Jack’s are saying and I love you now, too.

Inside the house, the party swells and spills outward, crashing over them both. Bitty doesn’t mind. There are worse things.

He steps even closer. Jack kisses him again.

you are a gift. bless you.

13. Sleeping Sickness by City and Colour

i apparently spent uh. way too much of my january listening to this on repeat at work at 4 am huh. no regrets but goddamn. (jokes aside, i've been meaning to listen to more of this band for a while, esp since the one other song of theirs i know has now been in my top 5 two years in a row. some incredible lyrical work here, in both these songs.)

76. Salt and the Sea by The Lumineers

25. Girlfriends by Single File

sent this song to my brother bc i thought he might like it, and all he sent back to me was "getting back into pop punk huh?", which is why i don't talk to my brother

73. Warpaint by Ivory Hours

These arms of mine were made for lifting up / And when i set things down again / I hope they are better than they were

23. summer or winter?

autumn LMAOOOO

honestly tho it depends on my mood. i prefer the transitional seasons over both summer and winter

rn i guess summer bc i finally started getting my ass to go outside, and the fact that it’s getting colder means i will be forced back inside once more lol

45. one place you’d love to visit?

i wanna visit so many places good god

uhhhhh rn my gut answer is antarctica

no it is not bc of the antarctica anime but good god did it motivate me even more go there (ಥ‿ಥ)