#bestcurse

for some reason, none of this felt real until right now, as she watches each and every second tick by, waiting for the dreaded sound of the timer she’s set to decide their fate. everything up until this point was so blurred, in her mind. could hardly even remember waking up this morning and relaying her fears to miller, or buying the test, or ending up lying on the floor in wait, or experiencing any other emotion besides paralyzing fear. fuck, what if her gut feelings were right, and she really was pregnant ? her raw and bloodied cuticles speak volumes— she would be a mess. she would fail, somehow, she would fuck everything up, irrevocably. she wouldn’t even know how to begin to be ready for something like that when she could hardly keep herself fed and well-rested and clothed in clean, non-paint stained clothes (and not just miller’s t-shirts, either). there’s even some paint in her hair right now, frantically working at trying to get it out, as if it might change the outcome of this, or at least prove something, somehow. serves as a decent distraction, though, as her thoughts wander, wondering if he was as terrified as she was, if his thoughts were spiraling just as wildly as hers. of course, she’s thought about the prospect of this with him someday, but that’s just it— it was someday in the future, not now. and even then, she’s never been certain about the idea, not because of him, but because of her. because of her own family, her parents— how suffocated she was growing up in that house, always wondering when she would be enough. and she could lose herself in those thoughts, in the insecurities that gnaw at her bones, but it’s the sound of her timer reaching its end that snaps her out of it, adrenaline spiking in her system. “ fuck, ” she groans, arms draping across her eyes as she lay there against the floor, unable to move. “ will you look ? ” she asks, the corner of her eye peeking out from beneath one of her arms. and maybe it’s unfair, but she doesn’t think she could be the one to do it without throwing up everywhere. “ if it’s bad, you have my full permission to throw me off the balcony. it’s fine, really. ” / @bestcurse.

"wait. you seriously think i'm jealous?" laugh is harsh and not at all convincing. "why the fuck would i be jealous of her?" / @bestcurse

in general, hugo loves a good college party, but he's shown up to this particular one in a shit mood and it's not alleviated by any of the petite blondes who flock to his side offering him cheap booze. no, hugo danaher is on a mission and he kicks open four bedrooms before he finds his target. "YOU. get the fuck up; i'm taking you home."

devon knew agreeing to go out tonight in her current state might be one of the worst ideas the minute she said yes, but maybe that’s exactly what she needed, tonight–– to make a bad decision just because she can, just to feel some semblance of control over her own life. she was supposed to be the one in control today, anyway, finally working up the courage to end things with tyler once and for all, only to learn that she spent the entirety of her  relationship being cheated on. after learning such information, she really shouldn’t be here, reveling in her brokenness so openly, fragility on display for anyone who dares to catch her gaze, but she is, consequences be damned. why should she sit at home and allow her thoughts to eat her alive when she could be here, drowning them out with loud music and copious amounts of booze ? seems like the better choice, even if her chest has splintered open, catching the annoyed glares of one too many people already tonight. doesn’t stop her from taking shot after shot, though, every broken shard glittering underneath the dim lights, her friends’ concern reflected back at them in the tears that feel permanently pooled behind her eyes. all she wants is to escape this feeling, to run as far as she can from the black hole that’s opened inside her, but she can’t–– wherever she goes, it’s there. even through all the hurt, she’s angry, too, that she’s even affected this much considering it’s never felt quite right with him anyway, that they never were the most well-matched. and sure, she wasn’t perfect, either–– she did kiss miller, maybe even found herself falling for him, too, but she never crossed that line again, out of respect for their relationship. she was good, while he couldn’t even begin to try to do the same. even though she’s shrouded in shame and hurt, she tries to gloss over it as best she can around her friends, but obviously not well enough, considering all the worried glances she’s received thus far after every shot that’s thrown back, the taste stinging all the way down. she’s numb to it by now–– the alcohol, the stares, her own feelings. at least she thought she was, until the moment she catches sight of miller walking through the door (because of course her gaze is drawn to him immediately) with someone she assumes must be his girlfriend. the same girlfriend she told him to pursue out of stubbornness the night she told him she didn’t want to be with tyler anymore, that she wanted to be with him, instead. she’s too drunk right now to even begin to understand what happened there, how it all devolved so quickly. it’s similar to how she can’t remember when she found herself locked in conversation with a stranger, either, fake laughing at his jokes, already certain of his intentions, even in her stupor. but, maybe a distraction could be good, right now. before that idea can fully form, she sees miller once again, unable to control how her lips curl into a smile. “ miller ! hey, ” she slurs, storms in her eyes, sadness radiating from every breath. “ this is–– uh, rick ? wait, no, nick ? ” can’t tell if either guess is correct, merely shrugging as she takes another sip of her drink, looking up at him just as rick slash nick slides his arm around her shoulders, catching her off guard. “ i didn’t know you were coming tonight. ” / @bestcurse​. 

❝    you    don't    seriously    believe    them   ,    do    you    ?    ❞

she's just dropped off her third repeat piece of pie to table four and, frankly, they're lucky it hadn't come with any surprises beneath the scoop of ice cream. "you'd think people would know from the shitty decor that we're not exactly a four-star establishment.... the fuck are they expecting from cheap diner pie??"

it’s a feeling she’s certain could never grow stale, finding her way back home with miller by her side, hands intertwined, smile tugging at her cheeks, laughter lilting from her lips. it’s followed her around all day, and all night, too, omnipresent in every interaction, every touch, every glance they shared, whether near or far. it’s electric, so unlike any relationship from her past, in every single way. never had she returned home with tyler so buoyant, so happy, eager to wake up next to him the next day and do it all again, like she did with miller. truthfully, all she wanted then was to seek whatever space she could, to rid herself of the constant darkness that swallowed her whole, that blocked any sliver of light from ever slipping through the cracks. it’s different now, obviously, as if a weight has lifted, as if she’s finally found the light that evaded her for so long, in whatever has blossomed between them after finally deciding that they needed more from each other than the label of friends with benefits implied. there were feelings involved, too, feelings that have evolved into something deeper, into something she wanted to keep, forever. part of her knew what it was, what she’s sure everyone else could see, whenever she looked at him, whether he returned her glance or not, but the other part was too fearful that maybe she’s the only one, that maybe it’s too fast, too soon. maybe that’s why she hasn’t said anything yet, too afraid to lay it all on the line, to risk possible rejection. so, she’s become adept at pushing it down and telling herself she’s saving it for later, for whenever it feels like the right time to broach the subject. can’t exactly hide it on her features or her body language, though, and sure, maybe it’s even more difficult to hide right now because of just how tipsy she was, but it’s on full display even as they’re settling in for the night, enamored with how effortless this was, how easily they’ve established a routine that never felt even the least bit mundane, or boring. it was something she never thought she could have, that she just wasn’t allowed something as perfect as this–– something that caused her heart to soar in her chest, that left her lips buzzing and fingertips aching for contact. and it proves difficult to ignore, that internal longing to be close, to seek contiguity, in whatever form. it’s what has her wrapping her arms around him from behind, now, face buried against his shoulder as she breathes him in, pressing a soft kiss there. “ you know, think i might like going out more now that i have such a hot date, ” she teases, pulling away then, to look at him, fingertips reaching out to brush against his as her voice grows softer, more sincere. “ it is always better with you there, though, really. never feel alone, anymore, like i used to. ” it’s followed with a soft smile, interested in focusing on him now. “ did you have a good night ? ” / @bestcurse.

          “     well  this  is  a  very,  very  pleasant  surprise.     ”     snakes  up  behind  them,  eyes  glistening  as  the  one  too  many  cocktails  she’s  had  throughout  the  event  finally  begin  to  settle.     “     i  thought  you  weren’t  going  to  be  in  town  for  another  week?     ”     not  that  she’s  complaining,  daphne  has  always  enjoyed  their  company;  though  she  does  find  herself  craving  it  more  and  more  the  longer  they  keep  their  salacious  ‘relationship’  going.