flight of the terrordactyl pt 7: it was all a dream afterall
Dr. Wu lifts up a fluorescent vial. It contains an LSD analogue; Dr. Wu has made several adjustments to the chemical formula.Â
He sits down and doses up.
HE IS IMMEDIATELY RIPPED FROM HIS BODY IN A DMT-ESQUE COME-UP.
A mixture of all of the Beatles remixes from Across the Universe and the intro scene from Enter the Void terrorize him into another dimension.
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ALL SEEING EYE: Aaaaaaand we’re about to start the baseball of the century here, folks.
The dog from duck-hunt flying in the Bowser-helicopter from Super Mario World flies overhead, announcing the sport that is about to begin.
A giant 7 stands in the middle of the outfield (which is where the angels are.)
On one team, mutant dinosaurs take to the court. Lebron dunks a baketball on home plate; everyone is excited. The other team is the entire cast from 30 Rock.
Winston Churchill, pants off and dick out, pitches the first of many baseballs.
ALL SEEING EYE/DUCK HUNT DOG: AND WE’RE OFF TO THE RACES.
Dr. Wu looks up to see the blaring sun is the angry sun from Super Mario Bros 3.; they are in a desert.
Dr. Wu looks back just in time to see a baseball explode as it hits the bat.
ALL SEEING EYE: LOOK AT JACK DONAGHY GO. THAT IS 5 BASEBALLS RIGHT THERE.
A score board at the end of the field lights up.
5 BASEBALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COUNT THEM: 5555555555555555555555555555
Suddenly, it’s dark out. The angry sun is replaced by one of those disturbing old timey moons with the HD realistic faces. Dr. Wu looks back to see that everyone has glow in the dark dicks tattooed over them.
Winston Churchill takes a shit on the losing team and slaps a bitch with his dick.
-*-*-*
Suddenly, Dr. Wu is all alone in space. He looks around him, and in the distance watches as Dr. Lewis Dodson (receipt from selling company secrets in hand) is raped by fluorescent dolphins. One of the dolphins blows his head off as he ejaculates.
DID YOU KNOW meme floats in the distance: In order to copulate under water, dolphins actually ejaculate at a higher pressure than humans.Â
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Dr. Wu is back in the genetics labs. He looks over to see a mirror. He sees Ian Malcomb reflected in it. Ian looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian who looks at Dr. Wu who looks at Ian.
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As the recursion ends, Dr. Wu finds himself in Ian Malcom’s math classroom, where Ian Malcom teaches advanced math to aspiring dinosaur/human scientists. Several topological structures are expertly defined.
Dr. Wu: What happened?
Ian: About 9 hours ago, you ran in here and shouted “I NEED DIFFERENTIAL TOPOLOGY.” I was into it. You kept going wild every time I did anything.
-slight silence as Dr. Wu adjusts to reality-
Ian: I want whatever it is you were on; seems like it was some good shit.
Dr. Wu, integrating his trip: I don’t think I know how to play baseball.
