#berrybad

August 1st Rent: $45/850

Ko-Fi | Paypal

If you’re in a position to help and choose to, I’m very grateful—but take care of yourselves first. 🫂 Don't feel compelled to give, particularly if you're struggling. Stay safe.

JULY 2: 850/850

Hi tumblr, it’s me again, ashamed to admit that I'm unable to pay my rent and it’s reached starting-to-panic levels. If I don’t have the money by the end of July 2nd, I’ll have to flee in the the night because my live-in landlord has threatened to call the police and ICE on me for such crimes as walking onto the back porch at night to look at a meteor shower due to the entire house a DIY panopticon; I do not expect kindness or grace from him, even though I always pay on time.

I've spent the last week contacting churches/shelters but finding someone willing or able to hear me out rather than being told a flat no and redirected to yet another number/website is now even harder than the last time I tried this.

Which is not anyone’s fault so much as proof of how wide the cracks to slip through are. It’s like triage, and someone without kids who is neither too young nor too old and doesn’t have a visibly obvious disability falls below their cutoff line.

I can understand and accept why they triage like this while also disagreeing with the implicit judgment that I’ll be fine. I know I won’t be. I’m isolated, no surviving family in the country, no car,  I’m physically unable to go further than half a mile without my body giving out. The heat in Florida is enough to seriously endanger any healthy adult who doesn’t have access to hydration and shelter, and I’m… yeah, I’m not healthy. Too many complications from PMOS and a heart that works too hard to keep everything going as a default. I can hide being queer and have lived in the US long enough that I don’t immediately trigger overt racism, but I can’t hide my body being janky as hell.