#bermind

It was the middle of the night when Bernard’s cellphone rang. Groggily, the blond man searched for his phone in the darkness of his bedroom. It was under a pillow.

“You better be on your deathbed,” he threatened when he answered the phone.

“Okay, I know it’s early,” he heard his boyfriend start, “But…”

Sleep was still clung to his voice, “I’m going back to bed.”

“Wait!” the blue alien shouted on the other end of the line. “I promise you’ll like it.” Shyly, he asked, “Will you just listen to me?”

Bernard opened his eyes wide and huffed. He checked the time on the clock–3:42–and realized that sleep would be hard to come by now. He shuffled his pillows around so that he could at least sit up.

“Better be good,” he warned.

He could hear the smile in Megamind’s voice on the other end, “Okay. So, I was struck with inspiration…”

Bernard hummed, urging him to continue.

“And I think I’ve come up with the most perfect plan,” he said gleefully, apparently very proud of himself.

Bernard couldn’t resist. “For world domination?”

“No!” he retorted, as if offended. “No, it’s the plan for the most perfect date!”

Bernard pressed his lips together, annoyed, “You’re calling me in the middle of the night for date plans?”

“You said you would listen!”

“I didn’t say those words exactly, but continue.”

“Okay,” Megamind said nervously. “Okay, so I was thinking that we could go to a water-park together.”  Bernard made a noise, but Megamind continued, “Before you call me crazy, just know that I saw like a commercial right before I called and immediately thought of you.” He took a deep breath, “And I never gone before and I think it’d be really fun if we went together because I always have fun with you…”

Well, if that doesn’t melt a heart of ice, Bernard didn’t know what would.

“Well,” Bernard began, feeling a small smile tug at his mouth, “this is without a doubt the stupidest date I’ve ever heard of.”

“Oh.”

Bernard tried not to laugh. He did deserve some type of punishment for waking him up.

“But of course we can do it.” He heard Megamind let out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah?”

For Bernard, there was nothing better than a lazy afternoon reading a book.

On a rocky mountain pass, on the southernmost slopes of Mount Belly, the witch-queen reined in her goat-drawn chariot—

“Kiss me.” 

“No, Megamind.”

On a rocky mountain pass, on the southernmost slopes–

“Kiss. Me.”

“I kissed you about…five minutes ago.”

On a rocky mountain pass–

“I’ll stop bothering you if you just kiss me, Bernard.”

“Megamind,” Bernard warned without taking his eyes off his book, “if you make me reread this sentence one more time–you’re not going to like it.”

“Well, my offer still stands,” he teased.

Sighing, Bernard snapped his book shut and glanced up at the man across the table. Megamind smirked at him, pleased that he finally got his attention as he laced his fingers into a position of power.

Laying his book on the table, he asked, “So, if I just give you one kiss, you’ll let me get back to my book? I’m almost done.” 

Megamind’s smirk grew more devilish, “If it’s a good kiss, sure. I’ll leave you be.”

Bernard rolled his eyes, huffing as he stood. He walk slowly to the other side of the table, dragging his feet all the while. When he finally stood in front of his boyfriend, he pressed his lips together.

With bright green eyes sparking with mischief, Megamind sang, “I’m waiting.”

Megamind closed his eyes and turned his face up towards his boyfriend, reminding Bernard like a cat who caught the canary. He looked so smug.

And Bernard just wanted to wipe that look off that blue face.

Bernard took a deep breath and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. Just one kiss, right?

Suddenly, Bernard framed Megamind’s face with both his hands, pulling him towards him in a deep kiss. It was rough and deep, forcing his way into his mouth, biting and sucking however he pleased. Bernad didn't’ care if he caused busing or bleeding–he was a man on a mission.  

With one more open mouth kiss–hard and fierce–Bernard released the blue alien, leaving the man dazed where he sat as he returned to his seat. Megamind remained silent as he found his place in the book again.

On a rocky mountain pass, on the southernmost slopes of Mount Belly, the witch-queen reined in her goat-drawn chariot and stopped and sniffed the chilly air.

The myraid stars hung cold in the sky above her.

“Um. Wow…” he heard Megamind mumble a few moments later.

And despite that Bernard was known for being expressionless and stoic, he had a small grin gracing his face for the rest of the afternoon.