#benjesme

Do you want to know the truth, Esmerelda? I love you. I love you and I have loved you for an incredibly long time now, but I have been too paranoid about telling you because I was sure you would not only think I was lying to you, but also be so petrified of the idea that you would run away from even the idea of it. You told me that if we fell in love losing one another would hurt too much to bear, and yet even when you told me that I knew I loved you. It has been so hard for me to stop myself from telling you how I feel, but here it is. I cannot bite my tongue any longer, so if it is not what you want to hear, than I am very sorry. I am sorry, but no matter what you say or do it is not going to change how I feel. I am sure you are going to insist I tell you why I love you, of course. I never did satisfy your curiosity about why I cared so much about you by listing reasons, after all, and do you know why? It is because love is not a feeling that you can make lists and diagrams of in order to prove it exists. One does not fall in love with another person just because he or she tells jokes in a clever way or gives fantastic back massages or knows the exact spot to kiss the other when they are feeling depressed. Is that not what makes love so wonderful and unexplainable? Is that not why love can be written about in thousands of ways and yet even though each way is different, it is impossible to deny that love is the subject? That the author was not feeling something true and undeniable when they put the words down? Even our mutual friend Shakespeare knew this! ‘But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak? // Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.’ I love you. I know I love you and to put it simply I love you for everything you are. I love you even though you have your flaws, and I love you despite knowing that this will not be easy. I know that the day may come when we do fall out of love, when we have an unhappy ending the way all romances in the history of forever- according to you- have a way of doing. But do you know what, Esmerelda? I would rather work towards that misery with you rather than anyone else, and all I can do is stand here and hope that you might want to do the same. You are good enough for me because I say you are good enough for me, and that should be the only opinion other than if you think I am good enough for you that matters. I am not going anywhere- I am not going to stop falling for you more every single day- and until you physically force me out of your life I swear I will not leave you, do you understand?

[owl] Good luck charm for your first day back?

Texts || Benjesme