#benditlikeyuli

About to walk in the door to their house, Caligo felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. His first thought was that he must have been late, and Krigar was wondering where he was. Still, it could be from someone else who he wouldn't be seeing in the next two minutes, so he took the phone out and looked over the text.

The girl stumbled around, not paying any attention to where she was going. There was too much going on, something wrong with her eyes making her see people weird. Voices in her head. A few times she's felt like she lost gravity for a few seconds but flying wasn't real, right?

No, no, she can't be sane. Was she supposed to be in a mental hospital right now? Why wasn't  she there? How did she find one? Why was she currently walking into an apartment building instead?

She couldn't remember anything, waking up in a park with the voices and weird, messed up sight. Even now, she seemed to be seeing through the walls of the building, hearts and blood flow obvious to her.

One second the room was empty, the next Caligo and Krigar were standing in the center of it. There was a moment's pause, then Caligo stepped forward and sunk down onto the couch, still staring in disbelief. "She doesn't remember me...," he said, more to himself than to Krigar. They had found this out pretty quickly when they saw her, but he had yet to come to terms with that. He had tried to get her to remember, but there was nothing there. She wasn't her, and it seemed like the time they had spent together wasn't just erased, but like it had never been there in the first place.

He had made sure to find people that wouldn't be missed, or at the very least deserved it in his opinion. He had gone after a couple demons after he got the first human soul, just to give him some hope of not dying when going after the demons. It worked, and he was amazed at how easy it had all been. Maybe it was just the lack of his normal worries.

Originally, he had been trying to find the one that killed Lauren. He took off soon after talking to River. That only lasted for about a couple minutes, though, when he realized how drained he was. He couldn't even make himself look slightly human. This, plus the frustration over not being able to do anything, led him to find some easily acquired souls. Then, after thinking about how if he had only had enough power, he probably could have saved her, he decided to just go overboard and make sure he had enough power to heal at least two people far enough gone that a doctor could probably not save them. That was as good as he was going to get at healing, anyway. As long as it worked in an emergency, it was fine.

It was only now that he was going back that he wondered exactly how any of this would help. Lauren was gone, and he wasn't getting her back. It didn't matter if now he could have saved her. That didn't shock him nearly as much as it should have, and he wondered if he had even accepted that she was dead yet. He kept having random thoughts about how he wanted to go talk to her about what had happened (oh wait, you can't, she's the one who died) or how he'd have to explain this mess to her (except she was gone) or how everything would be okay if he could just crawl into bed next to her, go to sleep, and forget all about this horrible day (too bad that would never happen again).

Instead, he found himself on his doorstep. He figured Alek or Yuli would have told Krigar what had happened. She had called a while back, but he hadn't responded. He wasn't sure if he hoped she was home or not. He really wanted to talk to someone, but at the same time he had no idea what to say or how to explain this. Deciding he may as well leap in and forget about trying to come up with an explanation, he dropped the illusion keeping the blood hidden, and opened the door.

It was too late.  She could feel her hair soaking in her own crimson blood as the light above head flickered.

Why am I so thick-headed?

She squinted her eyes, trying to see the stars past the light, but it was no use.  The glow from the numerous bars and such turned the night sky into a bright buzz.  She found it funny, that the last thing she would see was the coloured, starless night.

Alek...I'm so sorry...

She thought about her best friend.  His shining smile.  He had gotten so far since they had first met.  He had gained back a spark in his eye.  He had found Yuli.

Yuli...

The adorable, muscle mass of joy.  She wasn't even entirely sure what her brain meant by that, but she blamed the throbbing in her head.

She wished that the pain would drown out her thoughts entirely.  Her brain was just pulling out memories she din't want.  She though of River, briefly.  About how he'd saved her.  How he had taught her to love in return.  But the reason she wanted the numbness of the pain to set in, was her thoughts of him.

Caligo...

She couldn't form coherent thoughts, more just memories ran through her head.  His laugh rang like bells.  She remembered seeing him.  She raced through their first night.  The many nights and days after.  Their 'date' to the pool.  

She felt guilty for doing this to him.  It was her fault.  It was her fault she wanted to grab some extra cash.  She should never have met up with someone behind the bar.  What was she thinking?  What was she thinking? A voice in her head kept screaming,

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

She tried not to let it get to her though.  She could barely think or breath as it was, and she didn't need extra anxiety.  She wanted to try to last until someone found her.  She wanted them to know it was her fault.  All hers.  Like everything.