#ben hardyxreader

His body turned around and he looked at you, he stayed silent for a few seconds and then asked “What did you tell me before running away at Freddie’s party?” You didn’t reply, you were so afraid of saying those words. Roger stepped closer to you and held both of your hands intertwining his fingers with yours. “What did you tell me (Y/N)?” He asked one more time. “That you knew what you had to do if you wanted me back.” You said hesitant, nervous about what he would reply. “And if I’m here it means that I took my decision, that I knew what I had to do.” And then reality, panic hit you. It was all your fault. You broke his family, you told him to leave his wife, he broke a marriage because of you, because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut and stay away from him. You were a homewrecker, the title that you always wanted to avoid now fit on you perfectly and you couldn’t shake that away from you. You deserved to be called in that way because you were one. “Roger you-” your voice almost broke “you can’t, you didn’t have to.” “What are you saying” he frowned looking at you and kneeling down a bit so that he could be at your same height level. “It was all my fault.” A tear ran down your cheek. “I broke your family, I asked you to divorce from your wife.” “What? No” he shook his head laying his hands on your arms. “I always told you that our marriage wasn’t going well in the last year, that it was basically over.” “But you broke up with your wife because of what I said.” Roger cupped your cheeks with his hands lifted lightly your face to make you look at him. “That’s not true at all” his thumb wiped away your tear. “That night at Freddie’s party we already decided to divorce, we already had the papers at home, we just had to sign them. It was already over. It wasn’t what you said that made me put my name on those documents. It was what me and Dominique wanted and needed.” “But-” “No but, it was my decision. You don’t have anything to do with it.” “Actually I do Roger. If we didn’t meet a year ago you probably would still be with your wife.” “We don’t know how things would have turned out if I didn’t meet you. But I did and it happened and I don’t care whether it was at the right time or not, what’s important is that I want to stay with you and now I’m free to do it. “But Rog-” “Stop overthinking.” He whispered laying his forehead against yours “Do you want a life with me as much as I want to?” You nodded looking at him. “Then let’s start living it now.” And with that, he broke the distance that there were between the two of you, his lips found yours in a kiss which was filled with love and freedom because both of you knew that now you were free to love in the way you always wanted, that you didn’t have to run away, you didn’t have to hide anymore. Roger wrapped his arm around your waist and with a swift move he lifted you up making you wrap your legs around his waist. Stumbling he made his way in your bedroom, neither of you dared to break the kiss, only when he laid you on the bed he pulled away. His hands laid on both side of your head as he supported himself while hovering you. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he murmurs “You’re so beautiful” almost as he still couldn’t believe that you were there with him. Your hands lingered on his neck pulling him back down to kiss him again “You’re not bad either” you mumbled against his lips and a smile formed on both of your mouths. You took your time, you wanted to savour the moment that you have waited so long to happen, Roger was finally yours and you could tell that he had your same intentions when he slowly made the straps of your dress fall from your shoulders kissing every inch of your skin. You closed your eyes, it was like his kisses could burn every spot he pecked and it was a blissful sensation. His lips didn’t stop drawing lines of kisses on your now naked body as your fingers traced undefined figures down his bare back. And it was when your fingers laid by the end of his back that Roger slid inside you, sounds of pleasure coming out from both your mouth, your head tilted back on your pillow as for the first time you didn’t feel guilty for what you were doing because Roger now was only yours. After a few thrusts, Roger stopped moving earning a concerned look from you. “I want to feel you closer” he panted holding your hips and making you switch position so now you wear on top. Never losing his grip he sat up laying his back against the headboard so now you were sat on his lap, your chest against his and his arms running up and down your back. You lifted lightly your body so that Roger could align again with your entrance and then you moved your hips down starting to make love again. Your lips met again and you mumbled “I love you” in the middle of the kiss as your fingers ran through his hair. When Roger wrapped his arm tightly around your waist and you could feel his thrust going deeper and slower you could say that he was close and you were too. Laying your forehead against his you held him close to you, you didn’t need to say anything, you could understand each other only by a gaze. And that’s when both of you came undone at the unison. Roger’s head was laying on your chest while you were playing with his hair, it was silence, the only noise was caused by your heavy breathes. “You won’t leave this time, right?” Roger broke the quiet, his eyes were looking at you when you tilted your head down to see him. “It’s my place, I can’t leave” you chuckled softly making Roger smile. “I meant in general, you won’t leave again, will you?” his hand reached yours making your fingers intertwine “Because my heart won’t be able to take it. I need you more than ever and I need you in my life. I need to know that whenever I will come home I will be able to find you, that every night I’ll go to bed with you and when I wake up in the morning you will be still sleeping in my arms. Because I love looking at you sleeping and seeing that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you are dreaming about something, I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.” Your eyes started to get watery at his confession, your free hands went up to his cheek as you stroked it with your thumb. “My heart is yours (Y/N), and you will always have it.” His lips kissed your hand making you smile while you quickly wiped away a tear that fell down your cheek. “I promise that I won’t ever leave you again, because I know that if I leave my life won’t be the same without you. I had a taste of it and I hated it. I don’t care how hard it will be, you complete me Roger. And I am and will always be yours.” “Promise?” he left your hand he was holding over your chest and made you intertwine only your pinkies. His eyes never left yours and they were telling you how much he loved you, how much he was ready to stay with you and fight for your relationship against anyone and anything. You smiled widely as you kissed him as your pinkie still held his one. “I promise.”

-------

taglist:

“Oh don’t be so boring.” Freddie grunted “You know what happens when we finish a tour, we have a party and you-” “And I won’t come” you stopped him before he could finish the sentence. “Are you planning on spending the rest of your life closed in your flat?”  “No, I’m just planning on not going to places where I’m sure I will find Roger.” “You can’t avoid him for the rest of your life.”  “Watch me.” You replied challenging him. “Roger will be with Dominique and my house has enough rooms to not make you see Roger for the whole night. You just have to stay away from the bar.” “Sounds like fun” You joked giggling as your fingers started to play with the rope of the phone. “You will order me all your drinks and I will bring them to you.” “Freddie” you sighed “The rest of the guys will be with their wives too, it makes no sense to be there to me. I would feel like I’m intruding.” “You won’t be intruding, I’m the host of the party and I want you there.” You remained quiet wondering if it would actually be a good idea to go to that party. “Please come” Freddie kept saying in a higher tone trying to sound cute.

*******

You were already regretting your decision as you put one foot in the hall of Freddie’s mansion, thoughts of what could happen started to run in your mind and the only solution at that moment was to go back to your place. But as you turned around to walk away a voice stopped you “Where do you think you’re going?” You sighed cursing at his awful timing. “Hey Freddie” “Don’t you ever think to leave this party before the house will be completely empty” He smiled at you embracing your figure in a tight hug. “It’s nice to see you.” You smiled back and thanked him as he immediately offered you a champagne glass. “I can say the same.” He sat down on a couch making some space for you. “Well, you look better than I thought.” “Thank you I guess?” You chuckled sipping the champagne. “Did you expect me to show up with bags under my eyes, messy hair and all mourning?” “No, it’s just that after that you left Roger that morning-” “It was a month ago Freddie, I’m good now, I don’t want to spend all my time crying over myself.” “I’m happy to hear that.” Freddie gave you a sincere smile before standing up and disappearing to talk with other guests. What wasn’t sincere, though, was what you told him. You weren’t coping well with your break up from Roger. Seeing him again one month ago only made things worst, the thought that after leaving him he still couldn’t go on with his family life and kept thinking about you was hunting you. You only wanted to go back to him, you wanted to have him but at the same time you had made your decision and you couldn’t, you wouldn’t change your mind. However, as you were talking to one of your colleagues who happened to be there between the hundreds of people at the party, you couldn’t stop thinking about what Freddie told you, you just have to stay away from the bar. It was an easy task, but your heart started to beat faster at the thought that if you walked to the other room you would have seen him. And maybe Roger wouldn’t even look at you being too busy talking with his wife, but you didn’t care, you just needed to see him. And for the first time, for the only time you really didn’t have to, you decided to listen to your stupid heart, you decided to get up from the couch and walk towards the bar. As your heels walked inside the other room your heart stopped. He was there, sat on an armchair and talking with Brian, and as by some kind of magical string that kept you two tied he felt your presence in the room and when he lifted up his gaze it met yours. For a second you forgot how to breathe. For the second time that night you wanted to run back home but you didn’t want to make that so obvious that you walked there just to see him. So you looked away pretending to ignore him and walked to the bar. “May I have a glass of wine please?” you asked the bartender who nodded smiling at you. Your back was facing the guys as you were waiting for your glass, you sat on a stool not caring about what was happening around you.  “Where’s your rider at?” you froze at his voice, he was standing there, right next to you and when you turned to your left you could see him staring at you. His eyes met with yours again and you could definitely see that he was tipsy. “I’m alone” you replied trying to sound indifferent. “Like I was when I woke up in that hotel room.” “You said you would have let me go after that night” You turned around looking back at your glass as you started to play with it, trying to focus your tension somewhere else.  “You told me you would have let me say goodbye to you. You didn’t let me do it that night, you dissapeared.” “I thought that what we did was enough as a goodbye” You couldn’t bare looking at him, you knew you would break right there. “Nothing would ever be enough” His voice sounded like he was fighting to hold back his tears. “I think I will never be able to let you go.” “You have to.” “I can’t let you go. Please-” he almost whispered “Please don’t disappear again.”  He got closer to you laying his forehead against your temple, your body got tensed up and you scanned around the room making sure that nobody was looking at you. “I’m going crazy without you.”  You wanted to hold him, to cuddle him and reassure him that everything was going to be fine, your muscles were trembling from holding back and you wanted to kiss him right there, but you had to be strong. “She can see us Roger.” You said talking about Dominique. “She won’t, she can’t see us from there.” You could feel tears forming in your eyes from all the frustration “I can’t do this Roger.” You bit your lip looking at him with your watery eyes and got off from the stool walking away before you would break down in the middle of a party. “Wait” he held your hand stopping you before you could walk away. “You can’t just leave like that again.” “I won’t have this conversation here in front of all these people.” You dried the tears that started to fall from your cheeks with the back of your hands. Roger started to look around, scanning the area and then took again your hand leading you inside a room. Once he turned on the light you could see you were inside a bathroom and Roger locked the door behind him. “Rog” you sighed only wanted to go away. “Stop it, you need to go home.” “You are my home (Y/N), can’t you understand it?” he looked at you and you could see that tears were falling down from his eyes too. “I’m lost without you, I’m not the same person anymore. I need you to keep going on, nothing makes sense without you.” “Roger-” “Please, please tell me what I have to do to have you back in my life.” He was begging you. “You know what you have to do.” And with that, with your heart broken, you walked past him leaving the party.

******* You haven’t left your home for three days after the most horrible Freddie’s party you have ever been at. However you couldn’t blame it on him, he told you what to do to avoid a catastrophe but you decided to listen to your stupid heart. You were watching the umpteenth stupid love movie again when your bell rang “One second” you said as you turned off the television. A second rang. “I’m coming.” You almost yelled walking to the hall. “Fred” You said while opening the door, “I told you on the phone that you didn’t need to come here-” but it wasn’t Freddie the other person who was standing in front of you. It was Roger, and he had a suitcase with him.

------

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD IN THE TAG LIST PLEASE WRITE AN ASK. ANY COMMENT OR DIRECT MESSAGE WON’T BE TAKE IN CONSIDERATION, I’M SORRY BUT IT’S EASIER FOR ME IN THAT WAY.

Tag list:

*****flashback****** “Roger you’re late, again.” John said as Roger walked into the rehearsals “I know” he grunted as he sat behind the drumkit.  “Rog we know that it’s hard for you but-” “Oh, shut the fuck up Bri” he spat out before starting to hit the toms “Rog” the guitarist tried to make him stop but that only made Roger hit harder on the drum kit. “Roger” he said out loud only wanted to reason with his friend but it didn’t seem to work. “Roger shit” he hit one of the toms with his foot moving it away from the drum kit. “What the fuck mate! What is wrong with you?” The drummer asked pissed as he got up from his stool. “What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you Roger! You show up late, you treat people like shit. We know it’s hard for you because of (Y/N) but you should start to act like a mature person” Brian really tried to keep calm and be reasonable with Roger but at the moment he really lost all his patient which normally was a lot. “You really have to shut your fucking mouth about it.” “I have to shut my fucking mouth?” “What are you? A parrot that repeats everything I say? Or are you deaf?”  “You know why I shouldn’t shut my fucking mouth about it? Because when Penny found out about you cheating on her she came to my place.” He emphasised it by pointing at his own chest. “And I was the one who has been seeing her crying for days.” “Yeah, she is at your fucking place and you don’t let me talk to her.” “She doesn’t want to Roger, I can’t force her.” “You love this, don’t you? Me breaking her heart and she crying on your shoulder. It’s perfect, isn’t it?”  “What the fuck do you mean?” “Oh, as if you didn’t know” he groaned. “I see how you look at Penny when she walks through the door. I bet you even already fucked her.” That’s when Brian pushed Roger with all the anger he had in his body “Are you fucking stupid? Do you really think I would do this? Do you really think that I would go after your girl?”  “She is not my girl anymore!” and for the hundred-time tears fell down from Roger’s eyes again. *****************

“I should but I don’t have and I don’t want to” you shrugged taking a bite of your toast. “Listen, come tonight at the gig. Then you can decide if you want to leave or if you want to stay and maybe see Roger.” “Why should I?” “Because you’re Penny and Roger, you can’t let this all slip away. You need to solve this.”

*****flashback****** “You knew it, didn’t you?” you asked wiping the tears from your cheeks. Brian didn’t reply as he played with his own hands. “I saw how you look at me at dinner when the guys mentioned Roger calling me. I mean if you knew it-” “I didn’t know what to do” He interrupted you lifting his face to look at you. “You are both my friends, I knew that telling the truth was the right thing to do but it would break both of your hearts. And I didn’t want to step in your relationship, it wasn’t my place.” “It’s fine Bri, you didn’t have to say anything.” “I just didn’t want anyone to end up hurt.” “Too late” you chuckled trying to be sarcastic as you laid your head on your shoulder but it all fell in silence. “You are too kind Bri” you mumbled “You know” you tilted your face so you could see him, he was already looking at you. “I feel like I chose the wrong Queen.”  And if your first comment caused silence this one was even worst but Brian never left his gaze from yours and you didn’t know why but you started to bite your bottom lip, at the same time you both moved closer yet when your foreheads touched you both held on. “It’s better if we stop before we do something that we will regret tomorrow.” You immediately pulled away moving far from Brian “I’m sorry” you said covering your mouth with your hand. “I don’t know what got me.” “It-it’s fine (Y/N)” he tried to reassure you “You are just shaken from all the things that happened. *********

You listened to what Brian suggested to you, after all, you had to admit that most of the times he was right. As you walked inside the Rainbow theatre you could see how it all changed from the last Queen concert you have been at. The venue was surely bigger and there were already plenty of people looking for the band to start. You decided to take your place on the back and started to watch around while waiting, you could see the usual group of groupies which eventually had more members than the last times and you were capable to hear what they were saying. “Isn’t that Roger’s girlfriend?” “How come she’s here? I’ve heard that they broke up.” “Does that mean that I still won’t be able to go with Roger?” You couldn’t help but grin at their comments, you always wondered where they did find the strength to get all dressed up almost every night hoping to get laid by a band member. But maybe you couldn’t understand them because you were never able to be in their shoes, you always had Roger, you never had to make an impression on him. Still tonight you decided to wear his favourite dress, put a lot of effort on your hair and makeup and wear heels, you still have to understand why you did that, god he should be the one crawling back to you. Maybe you just wanted to show him what he lost, but did he really lost you? When the lights turned off and people started to scream you could tell that the show was about to start and then the first notes of Now I’m Here began to play. You found yourself stamping your feet at the rhythm and singing along even to the new songs they recorded. When new album Sheer Heart Attack still had to be released Brian sent you home a demo of it. When you first put it on the record player you couldn’t help but feel melancholy as you missed when Roger came back home from the studio and let you hear what they had recorded. Or when he sat on the couch with you, reading some lyrics he wrote down on his notebook. “What do you think of it?” he always asked while scratching his head and your answer was “I love it” all the time. When they came to the stage following their half concert break, you could tell that something was off with Roger. He wasn’t playing bad, but even from the back of the venue and even if he was hidden behind his drum kit, you could see that something was bothering him. You couldn’t tell what though, you made Brian promise you that he wouldn’t tell Roger about you being at the concert so you knew it wasn’t because of you. As proof of your thoughts as soon as the last song finished Roger stood up and smashed his drum kit to the ground. “Shit” you whispered as you started to make your way to the backstage trying to walk as fast as you could through all those people, “Why did I fucking decided to wear high heeled booths?” you mumbled to yourself. As you reached the door before their changing room a man stopped you “You can’t walk in here miss.”  “I’m Roger Taylor’s girlfriend” you argued looking at him. “I’m sorry but I wasn’t advised to let you in.” “Come on mate” you groan. “Let her in.” You turned your face to where that voice came from and you saw Mary standing right next to the door, you smiled at her as you both made your way backstage. “They were fucking close with their fucking cameras, we couldn’t interact” you could hear Roger’s voice coming from the changing room. “Still you shouldn’t have done that, you almost hit me and John” Freddie retorted.  “You just are too irascible lately.” Brian said You stood there, unsure of what you should do, was it a good thing to walk in? Should you go back to Brian’s place? “You should talk to him” Mary said as if she could read your mind. You nodded biting your lip and slowly opened the door.  “Oh don’t be fucking ridiculous.” Roger grunted looking at Brian but then he immediately froze as he saw you standing by the doorframe. He was the only one who could see you as he was sat on the couch and the other was standing facing him. But as they turned around to look what Roger was staring at they stopped their conversation. “I think it’s better if we go out.” John said walking toward you followed by his bandmates. Bri winked at you letting you know that you made the right decision.  As the door was closed behind your back silence fell in the room, you didn’t know what to say and Roger still couldn’t believe you were there right in front of him.  You looked at his figure, every inch of him, every single part you missed during that month “Your hands” you whispered breaking the silence. “What?” the drummer frowned, wondering why that would have been the first thing you decided to say. “Your hands, you have cuts on them.” You walked closer taking the first aid kit that laid on the table. “Oh.” Roger looked at them, he drummed pretty hard that night and smashing his drum kit didn’t help the wounds he got at the beginning of the tour. “I’m quite used to it.” “I bet that throwing your drums wasn’t the best thing to do.” You said with a hint of sarcasm as you kneeled down in front of him, between his legs. Without saying a word you took his hands on yours and started to disinfect them. Roger hissed closing his eyes at the burning feeling “I know, it hurts” that comment made the blonde man smile, it was what you usually said any time you took care of his hands after a concert. It was like a ritual, whenever he started a tour, after a break from playing the drums, he was used to having cuts on his hands because of how hard he hit the drums and toms. So whenever he walked off stage with bloody hands he knew he would have found you backstage waiting for him, he sat in front of you and waited patiently as you took care of his injuries. And now, with you there in front of him, focused on nursing him, it all felt like everything was fine, like his heart could finally take a break from all that pain and sorrow. “(Y/N)?” “Yes?” you looked up at him and his heart stopped, just as if it was the first time he saw you. “I’m sorry, for all the shit I did, I’m so fucking sorry.” “Rog-” you sighed “I never wanted to hurt you and believe that I feel like the most horrible man in the world. I guess I took you for granted, I think that maybe I started to get used to the idea that I would have always found you back home. But believe me when I say that this has been the worst fucking month of my life.” You could see that his eyes started to get watery. “The thought that I might have lost you kills me, I can’t imagine a life without you, I need to know that if I’m away on tour I can always call you and you’ll pick up on the other line, I need to know that you will be by my side on every up and every down, I need you to tell me that it’s fine if we still live in that shitty flat as long as we’re together. I need to fall asleep in your arms while you’re talking about how Freddie didn’t let you go home with the fur you saw at the stall. I need you.” Your hands left his ones as you brought them up to his face to wipe away his tears. “You hurt me like no one ever did before, Roger.” Your voice came out as a whisper and suddenly you felt so vulnerable. “But I would be a liar if I told you that I didn’t miss you any second during this month. You were my only guarantee in life and knowing that we might have not been together anymore just broke me. I tried to pretend that I was fine, that I was this strong woman ready to move on from you and live my life. But I will never be able to move on from you, you are my first and only love.” The last words chocked in your throat. “And maybe I’m a masochist, but I will always come back to you.” Roger’s hands went to your arm as he slowly made you stand up from the floor and made you sit on his lap. His forehead was against yours and his thumb was now stroking your cheek. “I love you” he whispered, his lips just a few inches from yours. “I love you too” you admitted as you waited so long to say those words to him. And he kissed you deeply, as his life depended on it, holding you close, afraid that you would disappear at any moment. Your hands cupped his face and you knew that eventually, it would take time to fully trust him again, but you loved him and you just couldn’t let him go. “Will you come home with me tonight?”  “Well, I wouldn’t decline the offer Mr Taylor” and there you were, the old Penny and Roger that anyone knew.

------------------------------------

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD IN THE TAG LIST PLEASE WRITE AN ASK.

ANY COMMENT OR DIRECT MESSAGE WON’T BE TAKE IN CONSIDERATION, I’M SORRY BUT IT’S EASIER FOR ME IN THAT WAY.

Tag list:

After a few minutes Roger appeared in your bedroom with a tray with coffee, eggs and bacon. “It smells amazing” You said taking the trail so that he could sit on the bed without spilling anything. As soon as he got closer to you, Roger cupped your cheeks and kissed you so full of love that it took your breath away. “I still have to give you your good morning kiss” the drummer said as he pulled away, the only thing you were able to do was smiling and biting your lip. “Let’s eat before it gets cold.” The blonde man said bringing a piece of bacon to his mouth.

“I should make you stay here more mornings if that means always having breakfast in bed” You said taking the last sip of your coffee. “Yeah, don’t get used to it” Roger joked taking the tray away and putting it on the floor. His joke, though, had an opposite effect on you, it took away the smile you were having since you woke up. You knew you couldn’t get used to it, actually you knew that that would be the only morning you would have spent with him in your apartment. For just a few hours you wanted to pretend you weren’t his secret lover, you just wanted to be his only one, yet he were able to remind you which were the truth. Roger realised what he caused and trying to repair his mistake he reached out for you, his hands laid on your hips as he made you straddle his lap so you could face him. “Have I already told you how much I like you in this outfit?” He asked playing with the fabric of his shirt. “Anytime I’m wearing one of your shirt” you replied as a hint of a smile appeared again on your face and that made Roger feel like he was on the right way to make you feel good again. “I know, but this time it looks different.” His finger traced a line from your throat to your breasts and stopped between them where the first button of the shirt was closed, and god, that small gesture made your whole body weak. “It looks like someone is copying my style” he grinned and moved you even closer to him, his lips found your exposed skin and you lost your capability of responding back to him. “How much time before you have to leave for work?” his fingers worked on the shirt unbuttoning it as his mouth kissed each new piece of skin that was revealed. You ran your hair through his hair and looked at the watch on your bedtime table. “We have an hour.” “Perfect” and with that he opened completely the shirt, his mouth found your lips in a heated kiss, his hands travelled your naked back under the fabric and moved you even closer making your chests touch. That caused you moving your hips against his earning a moan from both of you, you both needed to catch your breaths but instead of stopping Roger left a trail of kisses on your jawline. His hands now cupped your breasts now and started to massage them. “Rog” you moaned softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck as you grind on him, you could feel him grow harder against you and that made him whimper. A groan escaped from your lips as his hands left your body but soon you could feel his hand slowly sliding in your knickers and you bit your lip, his finger found your clit “You’re already so wet” he grinned getting a moan from you as a response “Don’t tease” you managed to say. “Already so eager?” and after moving his finger in a circular movement against your clit he slid it down and inside you. “God” you cried out as your fingertips pressed against his shoulders. He started to move his finger in and out of you and only after adding a second one his lips started to play with your nipple. You were out of breath from all that action, curses kept leaving your mouth as you grind your hips against him feeling the familiar hot sensation building in your stomach. “Cum for me love” Roger whispered in your ear as he felt your walls getting tighter, and those word made you moan his name loud as you cum on his fingers. You hid your face on the crook of neck as you tried to make your breaths slow down to regular and whimpered softly as his finger left your body. “I bet your neighbors would be pretty pissed for getting up by you.” Roger chuckled “Oh don’t worry” your breath was finally steady again “They will pissed also because of you” You smirked, your hand travelled down Roger chest and pushed him softly making him lay down on the bed as you still straddle his lap. You left some wet kisses all down his chest and as your lips reached his boxer waisted band your fingers hooked on it slowing it down and Roger quickly kicked them of on the ground. You wrapped your hand around his boner and start to stroke him, he whimpered at the contact. Your lips started to wrap his tip slowly sucking on it “Y-you also...d-don’t have to tease” he complained. So your mouth slowly took all his length and you started to bob your head up and down “You feel so good” he moaned as his hand reached your hair holding them in a ponytail and at the same time creating more friction. As you started to go faster his free hand gripped tight the bed sheet “S-stop or I will cum” and with that you sat up “I want to cum inside you” he said as his hands reached your panties and took them off from you. As he was doing so you were about to take his shirt off when he stopped you “Keep that on, you look so sexy with that on.” “Rog, that would smell of sweat later” you said as you managed to toss it off “I don’t think that’s the best fragrance to have when you’ll go to the studio” you chuckled as you got closer to him again. With his arm around your waist Roger made you lay on the bed as he hovered you, his hand reached down to his erection and after lining up he slowly slid inside you as you both moaned. While you adjusted to him your hands cupped his cheeks bringing his face closer to yours and you kissed him passionately, the movement of your hips against his gave him the approval and he started to move in and out of you. His movements were slow, he wanted to feel any inch of you as you both moaned each other names over and over again. But then the two of you needed more, his hand reached your thigh, making your leg wrap around his waist, the same hand moved on your hip holding it tight and the other hand reached the headboard. His trust became quicker and harder, your moans became louder as he hit all your right spot. “I-I’m close” you moaned holding him close to you, your walls clenching around him made Roger curse as he kept moving “Cum around me” he said as his face hide on the crook of your neck. Two trust after you were a mess and cum moaning loud his name, Roger kept moving inside you as he was close too, his forehead against your skin and as your name left his lips you could feel him filling you. The room was filled with heavy breathes as Roger collapsed on you and your hands slowly played with his sweaty hair. After you both came down from your high Roger slid off you and a small whimper left your lips “We should shower before it gets too late” you told him as he laid on his side, the blonde nodded as he put a lock of your hair behind your ear. “Can I join you?” you nodded “But only a quick shower, nothing more” 

After you got ready you walked into the bathroom to apply some mascara before leaving for work “Is that my toothbrush in your mouth?” you asked looking at Roger

“Was that my dick in your mouth just a few moments ago?” Touché

“Still, it’s gross” you stated

“I find it pretty hot when you get down on me.”

“I didn’t mean your dick!” you groaned “Oh come on Rog, get out or I’ll be late.”

Roger laughed as he followed you out of your flat “Will you come to the rehearsal after work?” he asked as you locked the door. You nodded putting the keys on your bag “Sure, but now I really have to go. I’ll see you later lover” And after pecking his lips you left.

*****

As you got out of your car you could already hear the music coming out from the building, but as you walked in it stopped and was replaced by an argument.

“I’m playing what I always played” you recognised Brian’s voice

“You play nee ni nee ni ni” sassy queen Freddie

“I’m playing exactly what was on the record Fred.”

“You do slow down” Roger said, that man, he could never stay in his place

“Oh fuck, slowing down” Brian answered back.

“You expect all of us to be PERfect before you even attempt to be any fucking…” the sassiness on Freddie really had no limits that almost made you laugh

“Oh don’t be fucking ridiculous.” And with that Brian went back to play but out of nowhere John said “Take it down a bit.”

“OH don’t take it down!” Roger stated and before he could throw his drum sticks to the poor John you stepped in “Did I arrive at the wrong moment?” hearing your voice Roger quickly turned to you with the biggest smile on his face.

“Oh no, you just saved us from a imminent war, my dear” Freddie said walking towards you “How are you darling?”

“I’m good, thanks Freddie” you smiled as he hugged you

“Still sure you want to come on tour with these freaks?” The guys knew about you and Roger, they actually knew about all his infidelities even before he cheated on his wife with you. He always had a girl around, but once he met you, you became his only secret love. They could see that he was happy with you, still they couldn’t understand where he was going, why still staying with his wife when he kept saying that he was happier with you? You all wondered the same thing.

“I’m sure Freddie, I guess I would be able to stand all your diva personalities.” “Wait down there love, we will take a break just in a few minutes and you Freddie move your ass back here” Roger said. You sat down on one of the chair who was in front of the stage where the guys were playing, you were listening, keeping the time with your feet. Then suddenly the door opened “Dada!” a two years old blonde boy ran towards the stage. the y all stopped playing and Roger got up from his drum set and went to pick up the boy “Hey buddy” he smiled tickling him softly. It was his son, you sat there looking at him, you never saw Roger with his son before and now that scene made your heart ache. But his son wouldn’t come there alone if he was there it meant that also… “Hi love” a female voice approached the stage, it was her, his wife. And you saw her, for the first time and your heart broke. She reached for Roger and kissed his lips “You forgot your wallet at home, so I thought that you might have needed it. So i came around.” She smiled “Hi guys” she said greeting all the others but when she turned around her smile faded, she froze seeing you sat there. Your reaction wasn’t different, you were motionless, you didn’t know what to say or do. You didn’t dare to look at Roger as it would have been too obvious and after what seemed like and eternity Freddie decided to speak. “Dominique this is (Y/N), (Y/N) this is Dominique, Roger’s wife.” You smiled lightly, where was Freddie going? What was he doing. “(Y/N) is a good friend of mine, she came here so that later we can go out celebrating. She just finished to record the new season of her tv series and we are about to start a tour.” God bless Freddie Mercury. “Oh yes, I saw some episodes of your series. That’s where I already saw you.” She smiled at you. “Well, it was nice to see you guys, (Y/N), but I have to go now” Dominique said. “Don’t you want to stay and see us rehearse?” Roger asked...seriously? “No, I have things to do” she replied taking their son in her arms and walking quickly out of the building. As the door closed Roger moved closer to you and stroked tenderly your arm “Love.” Shivers ran down your back. “I-I’ll go out to smoke” you said looking for your cigarettes in your bag. “I’ll come…” but you blocked him “Alone” and with that you went outside.

Your fingers were trembling as you tried to light up your cigarette, your eyes were getting watery. You felt guilty, you were guilty, you were breaking a family. If you weren’t Roger’s lover maybe he and his wife could solve their problems, maybe their marriage wouldn’t break. You saw the way she looked at you, she knew you were more than Freddie’s friend, she knew. But you wanted to lie to yourself, you wanted to think that she believed to what Freddie told her.

By the time you walked back in the boys were packing up their instruments, you quietly walked by Roger who cleaned his hands on his trousers after finishing with his set. He smiled and you and pecked your lips “What if we order some sushi and eat it at your place?” He asked laying his hands on your hips. “So I can remedy from skipping yesterday dinner?” “You should go back home Roger.” His smile faded away. “But (Y/N), you know that I promised Dominique that tomorrow I will spend the whole day with her before leaving for the tour. That means that we won’t see each other till the day after tomorrow.” You wanted to spend the night with him so bad, you wanted to have dinner with him, watch a shitty movie while you were cuddled up on the couch and then eventually make love. But after seeing her and their son you couldn’t. “We will spend enough time together during the tour.” You smiled softly “Go home to your family Roger.”

Taglist:

-------- You sat down on one of the seat as Roger got in the one next to you “I would propose a toast” Freddie said standing up and gave each of the members a glass, filling it with champagne “To (Y/N), who is joining us on tour for the first time and that joined the Queen plane for the first time. Welcome on board love” he grinned lifting his glass. You smiled softly sipping from your glass but you felt uncomfortable, for the first time you felt out of place. One hour and many glasses of champagne later Roger’s hand couldn’t stop roaming your tight. “I’m bored” he murmured. “We can play scrabble” you looked at him and he shook his head “You could help me with my crosswords” you suggested. “What about if you join the mile high club?” he whispered in your ear, you looked around, Brian was reading a book, John was sleeping and Freddie was browsing some magazines. “We can’t Roger” you whispered back “Oh come on” he groaned as his hand on your tight moved upper. “Roger skipped some turns, so it would be fair for him to get in the club today” Freddie not leaving his eyes from the magazines, of course, he would be listening to you two. “Turns?” you frowned looking at Roger. “Do you really think he’s the only one who enjoys it? We rotate, and this is Roger’s turn.” Freddie explained. “This is disgusting.” You stated. “You’ll love it.” The drummer said getting up from his seat and holding his hand out for you. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing it” you shook your head following him to the small toilet. As soon as the door behind you was locked Roger’s lips were on yours and his hands under your dress. As he tightened on your hips he lift you making you sit by the sink, you left some open-mouthed kisses down his neck, you were already turned on by all his lust. He pulled away lightly from you as he started to open his belt, you wanted to lift your dress up to your ankles but as you moved to make it go past your bottom you slipped from the sink. Roger’s arm held you from your waist, preventing you from falling on the ground and you couldn’t help but laugh from the scene, he holding you as his jeans were town to his ankles, your dress pulled up and your hands gripped on the sink to hold you up. “I must admit it was pretty uncomfortable up there” you chuckled looking up at the blonde who shook his head while smiling. “Let’s try like this” he made you turn around, your back was against his chest, your hands on the sink as you bent as much as the small place let you, you had to bit your lip not to laugh again at the less agility you showed before, “I imagined it to be sexier” you joked. “Oh shut up” Roger laughed against your skin as he kissed you down the back of your neck.

“Welcome to the club darling” Freddie chuckled as you got your way back to your seat and in the corner of your eye you could see that Brian was smirking while he kept reading his science book. “Can we please stop talking about this?”

------- You saw Roger walking towards you as he got off the stage, locks of his hair were stuck on his forehead, he was wearing no t-shirt and you could see his skin glimmer under the light. Once he finally got backstage to you his arms wrapped around your waist as he slightly lifted you up from the ground. His lips found yours in a quick kiss and you pulled away, afraid that someone could see you. “So, how was the show?” he asked smiling still holding you close to him. “Amazing, as always” your feet touched the ground again and you looked around hoping that no one saw that scene, Roger held your hand guiding you to his dressing room. “Does it mean that I’m getting a reward?” he asked closing the door behind him. “Oh no sir, you already played your card this morning on the plane. No more sex in a bathroom for today.” You said grinning as you sat down on the couch. “And who said it has to be in the bathroom, we have the whole dressing room for ourselves.” He got dangerously closer making your noses touch “You can’t tell me to contain myself when you’re wearing that dress” You exactly knew what you were doing by wearing that red dress which showed enough of your skin to make the drummer fantasize about you, you knew the reaction you would have got, that’s why you decided to wear it. “You’re all sweaty and sticky, I don’t think I want to ruin this dress in this way” you joked looking at him and Roger shook his head sighing “You are causing the death of a man, just know it”. “The night is still young darling” you pecked softly his lips “Now go freshen up we have a party waiting for us.” The party venue was close to the concert arena so, instead of taking the car, you both decided that you could walk there, “Are the guys already here?” You asked as you approached the entrance. “Hmmh” Roger mumbled, luckily you wouldn’t have been left alone as Roger would have to go to talk with other people. You always tried not to make it obvious that you two came together, at times he went there first and you walked in some minutes later, other times you would go straight to Freddie and he would talk with some friends, you never got too close when you were talking with people, no touching, just some looks now and then. That’s why you were taken out of guards when Roger decided to hold your hand at the hall not leaving it as you walked in. “Rog, people can see us” you tried to let go of him but his grip didn’t let you. “I don’t care, don’t worry about it.” You couldn’t help but feel a knot on your stomach and Roger could tell you were tense and he rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand hoping to make you feel better “Most of the people here are already drunk, they won’t realise anything.” You just nodded and walked side by side with him towards the other band members “Look who decided to show up” Freddie said almost screaming catching the attention of other people who turned to look at you, you quickly took your hand off from Roger who this time wasn’t quick enough to keep it. “Do you want something to drink?” the music was loud and he had to get closer to you so that you could hear him. You just nodded biting your lip and moved closer to Freddie. “The show was great guys, I think one of your best so far.” They smiled nodding “Yes, I think that tonight we had the right amount of energy” Brian agreed. “Also the fact that it was the first gig, a fresh start, counts a lot.” John added. “Here your drink love” Roger came back holding two beers in his hands and you took one of them. He sat down on one of the stools listening to what the guys had to say about the concert and the ones that had to come, then you felt his hand on your waist as he pulled you between his legs making your back lay against his chest, his chin laid on your shoulder as he held you close to him, your muscles tensed again. “Relax” he whispered in your ear as his hands caressed your hips. Your hands travelled to his ones laying above them intertwining your fingers, you really wanted to loosen up but your brain seemed to be against your willings. “Do you want to go out for a smoke?” Roger asked feeling that you were still uncomfortable. You just nodded and followed him to the back of the building. “So” he said taking his pack of cigarettes handing you one of them. “What’s wrong?” he asked laying his back against the wall while lighting up his cigarette and handing you the lighter after that. “Rog, we were in a room filled with people and you kept acting as we were together.” “But we are together” he shrugged and you looked at him with a disapproval look “You know what I meant.” “And I told you that no one would care, who cares with who I am?” “Then why back home you never acted this way?” “Because there are people I know and that knows Dominique and they could go and tell her.” You stayed quiet and looked at the ground while puffing some smoke out of your mouth. Sighing softly Roger laid his hands on your hips and pulled you closer to him. “Do you want to go back to the hotel room?” you nodded and he kissed softly the tip of your nose causing you to smile. “I’ll call the driver.” --- As you step into the hotel room you let out the breath you didn’t even realise you were holding. Two arms wrapped around you and finally, your whole body relaxed against Roger’s one, your eyes closed as his nose rubbed against the crook of your neck. “I love you” he whispered leaving kisses down your shoulder which was covered only by the dress strap. You didn’t reply lost in his touch and in the thoughts about the eventful night that still ran your mind. His hands then moved to the zip on your back as his lips left kisses on every inch of your skin that had been revealed from the dress. Your fingers went to your shoulders pushing the shoulder straps down to your arms. Only when the dress fell down, revealing your naked chest, you turned around facing Roger, your hands on both of his cheeks as you kissed him deeply, with a kissed filled with love. When both of you were left wearing only your underwear he motioned you to jump lightly so that he could lift you up, with your legs wrapped around his waist and holding you close he moved on the bed sitting on the edge of it. You looked down at him pulling a strand of his hair away from his forehead “I love you too” you whispered as you looked him in his blue eyes. He smiled widely pulling you down with him and you stood there just looking at each other, not saying a word, for minutes. You didn’t need words, you could feel his heart beating for you against your chest “Don’t ever leave me” You whispered in his ear, because you realised at that moment that you couldn’t bear to lose him, to live without him. You wanted him to be only yours more than ever and for the first time you didn’t think that he had a wife back home, for the first time that night he made you feel like you were the only one in his life. He made you understand that he was feeling the same thing by the way he made love to you that night, his fingers intertwined to yours never left your hands, and if they did it was to run through your hair. His eyes were always on you, his forehead always against yours or hidden on the crook of your neck. He kept repeating how much he loved you with each slow thrust into you and you did the same with your hands on his back to hold him as close as possible to you. His face against his chest, your hands through his hair and you moaned each other’s name in unison as you both came undone at the same time. You were laid side by side, your arm over his waist as his arm was wrapped around your shoulder. Roger looked down at you as you were drawing some circles with your fingertips on his chest, his fingers were stroking your arm while his lips were against your head which laid on his chest. “Marry me.” It was a whisper, but you heard it. You looked up at him meeting his ocean eyes “Did you hit your head somewhere?” you asked chuckling but he shook his head. “I’m serious (Y/N), marry me.” “You can’t ask me such a thing while you’re still married to another woman” you sighed softly. “After that I will break up with her, marry me” he never stopped looking at you but you had to look away, you couldn’t reply to him because you knew that him leaving his wife was still an uncertain thing. “Promise me you will always be mine” and you looked back up at him, hope in his eyes, and you whispered “I promise.” ----- The following day you were woken up late in the morning by someone banging repeatedly against your door “Rog open this fucking door” You both groaned hearing Freddie’s voice. Roger got up from the bed and put on his boxers after going to the room door. “What do you want Fred?” “You are in deep shit mate” and then there was silence. The drummer walked back to your bed, a newspaper in his hand and he gave it to you. Hesitantly you took it from him and read the front page “Roger Taylor all cosied up with TV actress (Y/N). Wasn’t he married?” Under the big title, there were photos of you Roger talking and the one where he kissed your nose “People attending the party said that the two had been really close at the venue, holding hands and cuddling all the time.” Then the phone rang and you looked at Roger, he stood still for a few seconds before picking it up. “Hello?” silence as he listened to the person on the other line. “Hi Dominique.”

What you didn’t expect though was what happened once you opened your flat door. Emotions hit you harder than you thought, your breath stopped in your lungs as rivers of tears fell down your cheeks. All that you held inside the past hours in the plane suddenly came all out as your back slid down against the door, your legs hit the floor as your hands covered your face and sobs left your mouth. And it felt so stupid to cry over it because nothing of his belongings were left in your flat, but everything reminded you of him. You couldn’t cry about an empty bed, cause it has always been empty. You were shedding tears over traces that showed you never were his and he never was yours.

The following days have only been worst. You were in the kitchen making some tea, the only thing that your body could ingest, and all you could see was Roger’s figure putting his arms around your waist, nuzzling the crook of your neck. And somehow you could still feel his scent of cologne and cigarette invading your lungs, you needed only that to make you cry again. And you did it also when you walked past the fridge and memories of Roger pinning you up against it, his hands on your bare tight as your floral dress gown kept lifting up, his lips leaving kisses on your neck making you understand how much he needed you at that moment. When you sat on the couch, the hot mug between your hands and your legs crossed under you, all you could think about was how Roger would have opened his legs so could cuddle on him as he played with your hair and give his opinion about a shitty movie they were giving at the television. Or all those times he came to your place after a tiring day at work or after a fight at home, so you would just lay down and let him rest his head over your chest while running your fingers up and down his back. In those moments you never talked, you only needed the presence of the other to calm down. You even tried to take a bath to calm your muscles and yourself but it only was another reason to bring tears in your eyes. Because you didn’t need a bath to calm you down, you needed Roger to be there with you in that bath, you needed his fingertips running on your arms, his lips leaving kisses on your naked shoulder. You needed to make love to him, holding his body close to yours as you moaned sweet nothings to the other while your hands ran through his hair and his fingers held tight your hips. Roger wasn’t doing any better. He spent hours at rehearsals because as long as he was playing he wouldn’t think of you. But once he went back to the hotel room all the silence and the loneliness made him think about you, he laid down on his bed letting tears fall down his cheeks and the pick up the phone asking for a bottle of whatever let him think less about you. But it never worked, all he wanted to do was calling you, was telling you to come back because he loved you, he loved you more than anything and nothing made sense without you. You were meant to be there next to him no at home leaving both of you alone. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t agree with your decision because he knew that neither of you wanted it. And yes, he surely was a selfish man but you were meant to be his and you had to be right at his side, not leaving him alone in that bed. Till one night, was it the alcohol or was it that he couldn’t take that pain anymore, he decided to lift the receiver and dialled your number. “Hello?” his heart stopped, it was your tired voice that was speaking and it sounded like the most beautiful music to his ear. “(Y/N), love” Roger had to bit his lip to prevent tears to fall again not enable him to speak to you. “Roger” you sighed, part of you disappointed because you didn’t want to have any other contact with him. But the other part was filled with joy by his voice, by hearing him again, by knowing that he still missed you after weeks that you left.  “Please come back” his voice broke a little as he heard his own voice saying those things. “Nothing makes sense without you, I… I need you here. It all feels so empty and I just can’t stop thinking about you.”  And you wanted to tell him how much you missed him too, how life sucked without him next to you, without his voice echoing around your flat. How you missed all those evenings waiting for him knocking at your door. Because if once you hated having to wait for him to show up, now you wanted nothing more than knowing that he will knock at your door, even if it was to spend only a few hours with you. But the words that were in your mind didn’t match the one that came out from your lips. “Rog, it’s over. And yes, I miss you too, but I think that it’s better if we stop seeing or hearing each other. Maybe it will fasten the healing. I’m sorry” Then you hang up not letting him reply and Roger stood there listening to the phone beeping for what felt like hours. And after that night things only got worse for Roger, he though he was going insane, at any concert he saw your figure through the crowds but he knew it wasn’t you, he knew that it was his mind playing with him. Till one night he was sure that his eyes weren’t playing him. At first, he saw you, as he was now used to, through the ground, standing on a corner of the venue and once again he thought it only was his imagination. But then when he walked backstage he saw Freddie hugging a girl and that girl was you, that never happened before, he never had imagined you so clearly, he knew it was you. And indeed, he was right.

The phone in your hotel room rang as you were getting ready to go out. “Hello?” “Hi dear.” “Freddie!” A smile formed in your lips, after you broke up with Roger you didn’t cut Freddie out of your life. He kept calling you every day making sure that you were doing fine. Though you both haven’t called each other for a few days, both busy with work. “So, if I don’t remember wrong, you’re in New York promoting your series today, aren’t you?”  “I am” you nodded even though you knew he couldn’t see you.  “And I’m pretty sure you know that we also are in New York.” “I know” you chuckled. “Before you called me I was about to call you and ask you if you’d like to meet and my hotel or somewhere around the town to catch up.” “Darling, even though I’d love to, I’m busy with rehearsals during the afternoon, but…” he paused because his mind could already work out your answer. “You could come to our concert tonight.” “I don’t think it’s a good idea Freddie” even though you wanted to see the singer really bad you didn’t know how you would react on seeing Roger again. You knew that Freddie would have made you walk backstage and once there it would have been inevitable to avoid the drummer. But Freddie couldn’t accept a no as an answer and that night you stepped into the venue and once the concert was finished you met Fred backstage. “I missed you so much.” He said hugging you tightly. “Same” you smiled hugging him back. “So, how’s everything going?” But as Freddie started telling you what happened during those weeks you could see a blonde man froze in the middle of the corridor, his eyes stuck on you. “Fred...I...I need to go. Maybe we can meet later at my hotel. Okay?” And he nodded, understanding you and not wanting to push against your decisions. “Fred.”  The singer closed his eyes hearing Roger’s voice behind his back and he mentally swore at himself as he turned around to face the drummer. “Yes Rog?” “Was that (Y/N)? The girl you were hugging, was that her?” “What? No” “Then who was her?”  “Just an old friend.” “Fred tell me the truth, was that her?” and Freddie’s silence confirmed Roger’s assumption. Within seconds he started running down the hall and once he finally was able to see you again he started shouting your name hoping you would hear him and stop.  Your heart stopped as you heard a voice calling your name, his voice. But you didn’t stop, you knew that if you did it, it would have been the end of you. You kept walking till you were stopped by a hand gripping your waist and as you turn around there he was, just a few centimetres from you. He was trying to cath his breath from the run but his hand never left your waist. “Why...why didn’t you tell me you were here?” He looked at you, his blue eyes staring at yours waiting for an answer “I thought it was better if we didn't see it each other.” “Give me one night” he burst out as if he wasn’t listening to you. “What?” “Give me one night, just me and you. Then I promise you I will let you go.” “Rog, I-” “We said goodbye to each other in the worst way, let me let you go in a way that my heart doesn’t break any time I think about it.” But what about your heart? Was it right to give yourself another night? Would you be even more heartbroken after? Would you be able to walk away after that? And for the first time in all those weeks, you listened to your heart. You pulled Roger closer to you as your lips found his in a kiss that both of you have longed for way too much time.

You didn’t know how you reached his room, after the kiss, everything went blurred. But now you were there, with Roger, and all felt so surreal. Your hands never stopped touching every inch of his body, fearing that soon he would disappear and you would wake up in London finding out it had all been a dream. Just with the same caution that you were using, his hands travelled to the zip of your dress, pulling it slowly down. Every action you made was slow, careful, sweet, you both savoured the moment. His naked body was over yours, on the bed, as his lips left kisses from your neck till down to your stomach. Your fingertips trailed imaginaries lines starting from his jaw and running through all his body. Your eyes stole every small detail of that scene, of that body that you missed every night. “I need you” he whispered as his face buried in the crook of your neck. “You have me.” You replied running your hands through his hair as your lungs were once again filled with his scent. And there you felt him inside you, a pleasure you never thought you would have never been able to feel again. His thrusts were slow and deep, his fingers intertwined to yours as he squeezed your hands. “I love you” he kept whispering in your ear and you tried with all your strengths to not let those words break your heart.  You were both panting as he held you against his chest while you were laying above him, his arms around your body holding you close. His fingertips running up and down your back as your ear was pressed against his heart which was beating fast. “Stay, don’t leave me.” He said looking down at you. But the following morning you had a plane to catch and, once again, you didn’t miss it.

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD IN THE TAG LIST PLEASE WRITE AN ASK. ANY COMMENT OR DIRECT MESSAGE WON’T BE TAKE IN CONSIDERATION, I’M SORRY BUT IT’S EASIER FOR ME IN THAT WAY.

Tag list:

“Rog.” You sighed as you sat up covering your naked body with the bed sheet. “What did you expected that would have happened after yesterday? You could have imagined that there would have been someone seeing us outside. We… we knew that sooner or later something like that would have happened.”  “Oh, don’t start giving me a moral” he said pissed as he got up from the bed and collected his clothes from the floor. “Rog.” You almost whispered, still covering your body you moved on the bed to get closer to him and got on your knees. “Stop it, you just can’t understand how it feels. Okay?” He turned around looking at you. “I don’t know how it feels?” Your voice suddenly raised up, in a matter of seconds your body was full of anger. Was he really playing the victim in all that? Did he really say that you couldn’t understand his situation when all those time you stood with him and reassured him whenever he had a fight with his wife? “You don’t understand.” You almost screamed pointing at him. “You don’t fucking understand what it means to be the other woman. You don’t fucking understand what it means to be at home alone and wait for you to show up and being able to have you just for a few hours, you don’t know what it means to feel empty any time you leave my apartment to go to your family. You don’t know how it feels to be the woman you’re cheating your wife on, you don’t know what it means to watch you with your child and feel your heart break because you know you are a home wrecker.” You could feel tears filling your eyes and you had to bite your lower lip because you didn’t want to show him how vulnerable that whole situation made you. “And you know what’s that one thing that you really don’t understand?” bitterness filled your voice as your gaze didn’t move away from his figures that was now speechless because of your words. “You don’t understand what it means to be in love with a man that is not your and maybe never will because he is always too afraid to make a decision.” “I just don’t want to hurt the people I love the most!” this time also his voice raised, he looked at you as he couldn’t get why you couldn’t understand his behaviour and his decisions. “Don’t you get it Roger?” you sighed “You are already hurting everyone, you’re hurting your wife by lying to her, you’re hurting me by letting me down and you are hurting yourself. It’s inevitable that once you will make a decision someone will suffer but with time it will get better. If you instead keep all this going on with time everything will only get worse.” “You are not in my position (Y/N)” You sniggered as you got up from the bed “Which position?” You asked picking up your underwear as you began to get dressed “The one where you have two women for yourself and you keep going back and forth from one to the other depending on your mood?” “Why all of a sudden did you become such a bitch?” “Because I can’t take it anymore Roger” you said in exasperation “This whole situation, what happened yesterday, the article, everything is becoming too much” “(Y/N)” Roger’s tone became softer as his hands gripped gently around your wrist, before he could say anything you anticipated him “I just need to stay alone now.” You said looking at him “I’ll be in Freddie’s room, call me when you’ve made up your mind.” And with that you left his room.

***

“Come on, spit it out” Freddie said as you sat on his bed, he joined you making your legs touch for how close he was. He always stated that talking about your problems with Roger would have helped you but you had a completely different opinion. “There’s not too much to say” “There are photos of you two all over each other in all the first pages of tabloids, how can you think that there is not too much to say?” “Freddie, it’s always the same situation, only that this time everyone fucking knows about it.” Bitterness came back to your body but you didn’t mean to be so bitter to Freddie, after all, he was only trying to be your friend and help you. “Sorry, I didn’t want to sound so bitchy.” You mumbled. “As if you’ve never been, you always are butchy” he joked chuckling “You know what you need now?” He got up from the bed quickly while clapping his hands “Drinks!” “How come that whenever I’m with you alcohol is always the answer to any of my problems?” “Because darling, alcohol can be more helpful that you can even imagine” he replied as if that was the most obvious thing. “I don’t want to be social Freddie” you groaned laying your back on the bed. “Come on, do be such a bore! Get your ass up and let’s go downstairs” he grabbed both of your hands and pulled you up from the bed earning an annoying sound from you. “And moreover, who ever talked about being social? It will just be you, me and a lot of wine bottles.” As you got downstairs to the hotel bar you were surprised to find out that no one was there, it was empty, just you and Freddie. Well, most probably it was because it still was morning and who is so weird to get cocktail at that time? But as hours started to pass and Freddie kept talking about his next ideas for the band new music and videos, more people started to walk inside the bar. You could feel their eyes on you, you could hear them chatting, and you knew they were talking about you and you knew it wasn’t anything good. You were the bad girl, you were the one who goes around stealing other women’s husbands. “Freddie, I think I’ll go back to the room” you said getting up from the stool. “What, already?” he frowned and you nodded “I don’t feel comfortable here.” And this time he didn’t insist, he knew what it felt to be the centre of the attention and having people talking and gossiping about you. “Bri and Deaky are outside by the pool, I think I will join them.” You nodded and after thanking him for spending his time with you,  you directed yourself to the elevators. You pressed the button and tapped your foot on the ground, it was so slow. As you were waiting you could feel the presence of someone standing next to you, you looked with the corner of your eye and suddenly your heart stopped and you forgot how to breathe, Dominique was right there. You didn’t dare to turn and look at her and as the elevator doors opened, you quickly stepped inside and stood on the corner of the elevator. She didn’t look at you either and once she got in she turned around, her back facing you and she didn’t talk until the lift doors closed. “Do you think I didn’t know it?” she asked still not looking at you. Your mouth was dry and no words went out of your mouths, it was like you forgot how to speak. “I knew it since the beginning. At first, I thought it was some kind of one-night stand affair, that he would have seen you at most three times and then left you just like all the other groupies. But then his shirt always had the same perfume, he said that he had to stay at the studio till late at night. It wasn’t something after a concert. Then he started to come back late in the mornings, he never used to. You’re the only one of his lovers who were able to attract him in this way.” Dominique sighed as a sad half-smile formed on her lips. “What did he promised you? That soon it will only be the two of you?” This time she turned around to face you but your eyes were stuck on the moquette, she didn’t need an answer, she already knew. “Though, there’s one thing that he does with any of his mistresses. He always comes back to his family, at the end of the day he will always walk through our house door and stay with me and his son. That will never change.” The ding of the elevator interrupted her and as the doors opened you could see her walk towards the door of Roger’s room.

*** You laid in the bed, wondering what they were saying. You knew the topic of course but were they screaming? Was he apologising? Was he breaking up with her? Or was he about to break up with you?  The room was filled with awful silence which only drove you mad. Now it was late night and Freddie didn’t come back you knew he rented another room for himself because he knew you needed to be left alone. That’s when the phone rang but you didn’t bother to answer, it was meant to be for Freddie and you didn’t want to talk with anyone. After minutes that it kept ringing, you picked it up as the ring was annoying you too much. “Freddie isn’t here at the moment” you were about to hang up when the voice through the receiver stopped you. “(Y/N), it’s me, Roger… she’s gone back home. Please come back to our room.” “How come she’s already gone?” you asked, was it because he broke up with her? “She had to go back to our son.”  “Okay” You almost whispered, that wasn’t the reply part of you was hoping for. Other hours passed before you got up from Freddie’s bed and walked to Roger’s door. You didn’t expect him to be still awake but as soon as you knocked he opened the door. “Thank God, you know what you have been putting me through?” he said relieved to see you. He hugged you, holding you close to his body as he hid his face on the crook of your neck and you couldn’t hold your fingers which ran through his hair. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t-” “Before you say anything I want to apologize” he broke your hug to look at you in the eyes. “I was an asshole this morning and I didn’t mean those things.” You could read in his eyes that he was saying the truth. “Listen, I talked with Dominique, it’s all fine… nothing will change between us, between me and you.” “Rog” you had to fight with all your strengths to hold the tears in your eyes. “I can’t go back to how things were.” “What do you mean?” Roger frowned looking at you. “I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired Roger, I’m tired of hiding, I’m tired of pretending, I’m tired of hoping that one day I will be yours.” “You can’t leave me” His blue eyes now were starting to get filled with tears and you had to bit your lip. “Rog. It’s not fair to me nor to your wife. I can’t wait my entire life for you to take a decision so I made it for you. You need to stay with your family.” And as you said that tears started to fall down your cheeks. It hurt like hell saying those words, you could feel your heart breaking, but you knew it was the right thing to do for both of you. “I can give you all those things, I can give you a family, I can be only yours.” He said through all the tears “No, you can’t, not until you make up your mind.”   “You promised me, you promised me you would always be mine.” “And I will. I will always be yours, my heart will always be yours” “Then don’t leave me” he sobbed, you never saw him that vulnerable as he held your hands tight to his ones. “Please don’t go away from me.” “I can’t stay”  “Please” He looked at you, his eyes were red from all the crying. “Time wasn’t kind with us.” You said as you wiped away the tears from his cheek. “Maybe in another life, you will be only mine.” “But I need you in this life.” He looked like a child, melting in your touch as he couldn’t stop crying and finding the strength to walk out from his door was the hardest thing to do, but you had to. “I love you Rog, and I promise I always will.” You kissed him, with all the love you had for him and you could feel the same love in return, he was kissing you with the same passion, he was kissing you like you were the person he loved most, and right there, before he could hold you close, you found the strength you were looking for and walked out of his door, out of his life.   

Taglist IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED IN THE TAGLIST WRITE ME AN ASK Any comment or dm won’t be considered, I’m sorry but it’s easier for me in this way