#bellingham!reader

"hi," joão whispers with a boyish grin on his face.

"hi," you whisper back to him, matching his grin.

"let's get you home," he places a kiss to your forehead, removing his hold on you to get grab your bags.

"you want me to help?"

"nah, go to the car love. i'll be there in a second," joão places one more kiss to your cheek, gently pushing you to the car. who were you to argue?

you met joão when he played for barcelona as a lone player. specifically, during the el clásico match between real madrid and barcelona. you guys hit it off and have been inseparable ever since. always teetering the line between friends and something more. of course you guys have slept together and kissed multiple times but there was never a label on it. nobody ever knew about the two of you either. keeping it under wraps, away from any watching eyes. lately, you've been avoiding his obvious hints of becoming something more than just friends with benefits and casualty.

-

"are you hungry?" joão asks, watching you play with floki who currently rested in your arms.

"no."

"did you eat something?"

"on the plane."

"and how many hours ago was that?"

"can we just go to bed?" you whined and pouted, looking up at him. he chuckles quietly to himself and nods.

"whatever you want bebê but we're having breakfast in the morning."

"deal."

you kiss floki's fur and place him back on the floor. you grab joão hand and head to the bedroom. you pretty much knew your way around the house. leaving your suitcase in the living room, not wanting to deal with it just yet. still semi jet lagged from the flight.

"whatcha got for me to sleep in tonight?" you sit on the cushioned bench that was into front of his bed.

"where are your manners?"

"clearly not here," you grinned, messing with him some more. in a split second, a tee-shirt hit you square in the face. you gasp from under the shirt.

"you hit me!"

"it didn't even hurt you."

"yes, it did," you pulled the shirt off your face and sit it besides you.

"oh yeah?" joão walks across the room, stopping in front you and looking down. you meet his eyes, leaning your head up. the two of you refusing to backdown and break eye contact.

"tell me where it hurts and i'll kiss it better."

"is that a promise?"

"yeah, and i like to keep my promises."

"lucky me." joão's hands find their place on your cheeks. leaning down, he finally connects your lips. a sensational moment that you missed in the last couple of months. your hands fist his shirt, gripping it and his body closer to you. a tender kiss that started slow, with you guys just exploring each other's mouth as if it were the first time.

you move from the kiss just to take off your hoodie, revealing your black tank top. you reconnect your lips once more, only this time the kiss became impatient and frantic. luckily for you both, joão removed his hoodie long before. exploring each other some more, his gentle hands moved their way down to caress your neck and shoulders. gliding his hands back and forth.

"bebê?"

"hmm?"

"i missed you so much," leaning down and whispering against your neck. joão begins leave a trail of kisses up and down your neck. you feel the blood rushing your veins and it leaves you breathless.

"i missed you too babe," you say through small gasps. your own hands finding their rightfully place tangled in his hair.

"lemme show you how much i missed you, yeah?" you nodded your head, giving him a hazy smile. from the kisses alone, you feel warm all over.

"i need to hear those words pretty girl."

"please?"

"please what?"

"show me how much you missed me." joão would always be the person you'd fold for. he had a hold on you that couldn't be explained or expressed into words.

"that i can do."

-

you wake up to your phone loudly ringing from the table near the bed. blindly reaching for it, you pull it to your face to see who was calling. of course, your brother was calling. you groaned and quickly got up, leaning over the bed to grab the discarded tee-shirt. throwing it over your head, you answered the facetime call.

"what do you want?"

"woah, what happened to hi, hello, how are you jude?"

"hi, hello, how are you judith?" you eyed him through the phone with a raised eyebrow.

"i told you to stop calling me that," jude groans and rolls his eyes.

"i told you that will never happen."

"it's not even my name!"

"what do you want jude?"

"mum wanted me to give you a ring, wait."

"what?"

"where are you? because that doesn't look like you're with jobe and dad," he squinted his eyes while looking at the background. "and you don't have your bonnet on."

"mind your business."

"YOU HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND! ooo i'm telling mum."

"shut up, i'm hanging up now."

"wait, who's the guy? do i know him? how long have you known him? did he pick you up from the airport?" jude throws question after question at you. you playfully rolled your eyes and shake your head.

"goodbye jude. i love you and tell mum that i love her too."

"fine, love you too." you hang up and place the phone back on the table. you turn over, snuggling back under the duvet and face joão's bare back. your eyes roaming over his muscles and toned skin.

"i can feel you staring," joão mumbles out.

"sorry, did i wake you?" he turns over to face you and shakes his head.

"no, i was listening to you talk to jude but you didn't wake me up." you run your fingers threw his messy bed hair and move your hand to caress his cheek.

"sorry you had to hear that. jude is just being jude."

grabbing your hand, joão kisses the palm of your hand, "it's okay. i don't mind. although."

"although?" you drag out the word, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"i wish we were exclusive." you immediately pull away from him. "don't do that."

"do what joão?"

"pull away from me," he tries to re-grab your hand, but you wouldn't let him.

"i don't wanna talk about this."

"but i do."

"we've talked about this already."

"what are you so afraid of?"

"drop it," you hop out of the bed and head to the living room. joão is hot on your tail. "you just ruined what could've been a great morning before i left to my dad and brother."

"we had an amazing night! i didn't just fuck you last night, i made love to you. seeing as i'm in love with you."

"please stop."

"we go through this day after day. we have sex, we're on good terms and then when i say something about being exclusive, you shut down. you pull away from me for what?"

"i'm begging you to stop." your voice wobbly to keep your emotions at bay. joão scuffs and walks back to the room.

the rest of the morning is silent as you guys got ready. completely forgetting about breakfast. he drove you to the rent a car center and still didn't utter a word. you felt awkward, being that you've never been in his presence while you guys weren't speaking. you usually were already gone before it got to this point.

"it's not fair to me."

"i know," you whispered, looking down at your shoes.

"call me when you actually want to talk," he leans down to kiss your cheek and turns his back on you. walking towards his car, leaving you with an ache in your chest.

-

the five-hour drive wasn't that bad. all you could think of was joão, what were you so afraid of? he was everything and more, but you wouldn't allow yourself to pursue those feelings. preferring to keep them locked down, buried inside of you. pulling up to your brother's house, you felt like you were going to cry. you couldn't let your dad and brother know anything. jobe swings the door open with a wide grin.

"ello mate!"

"hi jobe," you dryly chuckled, not realizing how much you missed your little brother. the taller boy is quick to pull you into an embrace and just as quick, you breakdown. the tears that come from your eyes falling onto his shirt.

"what's wrong? y/n?" jobe questions, looking towards your dad.

"sweetheart?"

"dad, i ruined things for good," you continued to cry into jobe's arms.

"ruined what sweetpea?"

"me and joão."

"hold up, joão? as in joão félix?" you brother pulls away from the hug to eye you. with teary eyes you nodded.

"THAT'S WHOSE HOUSE YOU WERE AT THIS MORNING?"

"jobe, not now," mark stops the younger boy. shifting to hug you himself. you always loved your parents' hugs, especially in times of despair.

"i'm so telling jude," jobe whispers to himselfand runs back to the house.

-

over the next few days, you stayed in bed to rot. of course, you went to jobe's match but after that you barely did anything. jobe and jude were sick of it. the whole family knew but everyone wanted to give you your space. expect for your brothers.

"y/n!" jobe bursts into the room and closes the door behind him.

"get out."

"me and jude have something to say to you."

jobe flips the camera towards your face and hops into the frame too. you groaned, trying to cover your eyes with the blanket.

"you look like shit," jude's voice rings through the phone speaker.

"you look like this every day."

"rude."

"whatever."

"you're so grumpy," jobe pokes your cheek.

"you guys are bothering me!"

"what's really going on sis?" jude asks.

"i don't know."

"liar," jobe says from beside you.

"fine, i don't know if i can open myself up to him?"

"why?"

"because i don't wanna get hurt."

"he seems like a proper decent guy though," jude says.

"he is more than that," you pout your lip out, hoping to stop the oncoming set of new tears.

"then talk to him."

"he doesn't want to speak with me."

"that's a lie. we had a chat with him. he wants to talk to you," jobe causally says.

"YOU WHAT?" you sit up on the bed with wide eyes.

"the point is, he's waiting for you."

"i hate you guys," you groaned, slapping a hand to face in annoyance. the two boys snicker at your reaction to what they did behind your back.

"we love you too!" they say in unison. once jobe leaves, you get up to shower. looks like a painful conversation is gonna happen sooner than later.

-

"y/n?" joão opens the door to find you standing there.

"hi. can i come in?" you timidly ask the chelsea player.

"are you ready to talk?"

"yes." he steps aside and lets you in. you walked into the familiar house slowly. floki greet you as always.

"sit on the couch. i'm right behind you."

you make your way to the living room and sit down. playing with your finger, as you anxiously wait for joão. he comes in the room a few seconds later. sporting two glasses of water. even when he's slightly upset with you, he still caters to you. your heart melts. handing you a glass, he takes a seat. a gap in the middle of you two.

"i'm sorry."

"why do you keep running away from me? is it something i did?"

"no, never!" you sit the glass on the coffee table.

"then what is it?" he mimics you and sets his glass down too.

"i'm scared."

"of what y/n?" you sighed and looked to the ceiling.

"i'm scared that if I open up and allow myself to have a relationship with you officially, i'll get hurt in the end."

"hurt by what?"

"by you. i'm scared that down the line you'll realize that there is someone better and i get hurt in the end."

"but what if i don't? what if i don't hurt you?" you were rendered speechless. in a way he was completely right. you guys have been going back and forth for months and he hasn't hurt you once. if anything, you were hurting him. the thought of that causes tears to shed.

"don't cry bebê. just let me in and i promise you that i would never hurt you," he wipes the tears from your eyes. you didn't realize that he closed the distance between the two of you. "what do i tell you about my promises?"

"that you always keep them," you whispered with glossy eyes. "i love you so much joão and i'm sorry for hurting you in the process."

"i understand that you were just trying protect yourself. but you don't need to do that with me. i've got you always my love."

you wrap your arms around his neck instantly. his arms wrap around your waist pulling you closer to him. his fingers touching the bare skin that peeked out from your top.