#belariya

It had been a dream, a blissful, glorious dream when Zak had heard that Belle was in remission. There were moments when he had just been so terrified things weren't going well he shut down. He disliked that he shut down when he didn't know what to do. He knew she hated it too, so it was a battle between what he automatically resorted to doing and what he wanted to do for her. 

But even his frustration couldn't compare with what she was going through - what he couldn't understand she was going through. He couldn't help her, because he didn't know how to. He couldn't make her feel better because there was no one around to beat up or blackmail and threaten into taking it away. The problem was inside of her and he could do nothing about it. All he could do was be there when she allowed him, hold her when she was sick, and pray to whatever entity was out there that she wouldn't be taken away from him.

Then there was news that the chemo had worked - as it well should have, goddamnit - and that she was in remission. Remission meant not out of the woods yet, but better. There was hope. And then his little firecracker decided she was fine and had to run herself ragged to "make up for lost time". No matter how much he argued with her about it, she just wouldn't take it easy. She'd 'taken it easy' while she was going through her treatments. Like she had any choice…those "medicines" were poison. 

Zak was trying to figure out how in Merlin's name one wrapped a present that wasn't a uniform square when he got the owl. 

The world stopped for a moment, holding its breath for the terror wrapped in fury that tsunami'd into him. Why? Why did this have to happen to her, of all the people in the world? She had a plan, she had a passion, she had such life and here was some thing trying to take it away from her! She was getting better. She was supposed to have been getting better. Those idiot doctors knew nothing. Nothing! Why were they trusting them to make her better? Clearly they had no idea what they were doing.

He would address that later; it was something he could do.

Another thing he could do was leave the present he was fighting with where it was and rush to the hospital, blatantly disregarding other people on his way to find her. She didn't need to be alone with this and he knew she shielded it from her family. Just as long as she didn't shield it from him. He couldn't handle not knowing anymore than he couldn't handle knowing.

Finally reaching the door to the room Belle was in, Zak paused a mere second to catch his breath and realize that she might not be entirely happy that he was there, walking into her room. She wasn't the one who owled him…but she could deal with it. He'd already told her he was going to be there whether she liked it or not.

"Belle." 

What he saw stopped him short in the door. It wasn't pity that he looked at her with; it was surprise. He hadn't expected to see the breathing apparatus. He hadn't expected the bruising. He guessed he…hadn't thought what he expected.

"Babe." He went back to walking, heading to the bed where he could gently - oh so gently; he knew he could break her - lean down to kiss her forehead.