#bejoomi

kou's always enjoyed song writing. he's by no means a genius – but he's also no stranger to how it works. in japan he'd brainstorm with his band, and some way or another end up with a song good enough for kou to deem it worthy of posting online.

but that was in the past, and if he's being honest, he feels as though he's gotten a little rusty. if anything, it's the lack of time and confidence – writing a song is one thing, but writing a song while he's in korea, with lyrics in korean ( a language he hasn't fully grasped ), is something he's strayed away from. it's also no secret that kou's taste in music isn't exactly... what he'd think you'd find on the melon top 100 chart. that and the added fact that despite being a trainee, he was now a trainee under sr media – a company that wasn't particularly known for creative direction when it came to musicality – had kou feeling less than confident about his skills.

still, he enjoys songwriting, and it feels nice to do something that he enjoys, even if he's hyperaware of the fact that the last time he'd written something even substantial was about half a year ago.

@bejoomi

he's been in this position a lot lately, he realizes. sweaty, still a little breathless, but basking in the quiet and contentment that follows release. it's joomi in bed with him again, of course, equally breathless and beautiful as they both come down from another amazing high. when was the last time jinyoung kept someone around this long? when was the last time he was so comfortable with another human sleeping in his bed at night, waking up to that same face in the morning, and blearily grumbling over a cup of coffee in the kitchen? he wouldn't be so dumb as to call it domestic or a relationship or anything of that nature. but it might be... something.

it's precisely because it might be something that jinyoung feels it coming to an end. this is what always happens to him; it's not so much the worry about someone catching feelings for him, but the other way around. if jinyoung starts coveting someone, wanting their time and attention more deeply than just on a whim, what will he do when they lose interest in him? he had already said enough good byes for a lifetime by the time he hit double digits; he promised himself no more, not unnecessarily. does he think joomi will disappear on him? someday, probably. there was a time in joomi's life before jinyoung where he was seemingly perfectly happy. there surely will be a time after too.

at least this time, the end is looking like something jinyoung won't have to call himself. with any luck, the universe will answer his prayers and the parting of ways will be out of his hands, for the most part. if he signs a contract, his hand does have a part in it. but really, it's the time demands of an entertainment company that will be his excuse. hopefully. maybe. two callbacks is pretty exciting, regardless.

"what are you going to do when i'm not around to do this to you?" jinyoung muses aloud, not quite realizing that his thoughts have partially become verbal. he traces his fingers along joomi's skin, feather-light and fondly smiling despite talk of leaving. "i'm still the best you've ever had, right?"

christmas is...eh to her. sure, the snow looks nice in theory-- even if sometimes it's inconvenient at best. traveling back home for a few days is always such a future hurdle that causessua more stress than the actual holiday itself. it's not the worst. it's not her favorite, though. 

so the weeks before christmas she spends trying to be at ease and relax as much as possible before the holiday. and that includes finally dragging joomi out one of the days she catches him at home– without his 

delicately, she plucks a mug up from a display, eyes critical as sua studies it carefully. it's a silly gingerbread man, but it looks...off. she has a habit of gravitating towards them. the strange little devil dolls with haein, the broiled rat from halloween with yejun. now this strange gingerbread man with asymmetrical eyes and a shakily drawn smile that sua grows more fond of the more she looks at it. they’re endearing, the more she thinks about it. 

  < a starter w. @bejoomi >

there’s a skip in his step as him and joomi walk down the sidewalk, humming around a spoonful of ice cream. he’s both happy and pleased to have a treat in the beginnings of such warm weather, but also it’s been forever since he’s been able to hang out with joomi. it feels good, feels almost normal again-- and he can’t help the good mood it puts him him. it’s going to be a good day, he had told himself as a reminder in the morning. it will be a good day because he’ll make it a good day-- hopefully. as long as lady luck keeps giving him a break for once. she’s been rather kind to him lately; maybe pleased with all of the decisions stevie’s been making since his breakdown that he’s been now dubbing as the Lowest Point of My Life™.

it’s a streak of decent days though-- and he’s sure this is going to be another one added to the list. looking around for the arcade stevie knows is in the area, his eyes catch sight of some art in a passing window, the sea creatures catching his attention briefly like a moth to a flame. it airdrops a random memory in his head.

the random play dance had been fun but tiring. usually he wouldn't go up for every song he knew but cam needed something to distract himself and dancing was fun. it was also great to hear some catcalls when he went up for some of the lesser known girl group dances. he wouldn't pass up a chance to do one of the great throwbacks.

he didn't get many breaks so it was logical to head over to one of the cup sleeve events happening during the enkor festival. it was already in his day's plans to visit one of them and he just like he wouldn't have passed up throwback dances, he wouldn't pass up going to a nana or cherish centered event. cam brought out the one photocard holder he'd indulged himself in and hooked it onto his keychain, letting it hang out of his pocket before changing his mind and instead hooking it onto his crossbody bag.

it wasn't really a surprise to see joomi heading over to the event too, the timing just a funny coincidence. his mother had always told him friends always were somewhat like-minded, birds of a feather and all that proverb stuff as a kid he'd let go over his head.

a starter for @bejoomi taking place during a break in practice

     she’s not sure when she started making it a habit to bring snacks on the last day before the performance day but this time is no different to the others. since it’s the finale soon, she wanted to do something special but she doesn’t really have that much time nor does she have that much money to spend, considering that she hasn’t been working since next gen started. 

     but she still wants to do something special so she buys a cake from one of the bakeries on her way home the night before and brings it into the practice room that her team is in. she’s pretty excited, since they had finalized the whole contact lens thing just recently and the outfits seem to be going how she had ho9ped the would from what they had seen during a quick dress rehearsal.

     “since it’s the finale,” saea says slowly, cheering as she pulls out the cake during the break. she had had to run to get it from the fridge in one of the rest rooms nearby but it seems to have made it. 

it’s not the best place to watch a performance-- tucked away near the corner of the stage rather than in the space before the front and center. yuji’s not here to watch just any performance though, she’s here to see joomi, and her position gives her the best view of the keyboardist. she already took a brief little video earlier, and now she’s listening to the finishings of the set, nodding along to the beat as she stares towards the stage, enjoying the song choice immensely-- her brain clinging onto it. she already knows she’s gonna be humming it for days, and she makes a mental note to ask joomi about it afterwards.

fiddling with her drink, she stirs the straw in it idly, taking a sip of the beverage as the crowd cheers with applause at the end of the song. the singer is talking-- but yuji tunes him out, and trails her eyes away boredly. pulling her phone out to check her notifications, she swipes a few away before letting her eyes roam back up to the stage as the vocalist finishes his monologue. 

shifting her balance from one leg to another, yuji waits until eat schmidt (what kind of a name is that anyway? who is schimidt?) finishes packing up their things on the stage. she doesn’t move until they’re beginning to step off the raised bit and onto the venue floor; she straightens up until she’s able to step into place with joomi, a smile on her face. 

@bejoomi

honestly, he didn't want to leave his apartment this morning. he didn't even want to get out of bed. and surely, the last thing he ever wanted to do was march himself down to that stupid kpop fan festival—the single most likely place where people will recognize a loser of a heavily marketed audition show—and expose himself to ridicule and ravagers who no doubt will want to mock him and his poor luck. for only failing two auditions in the past year, he certainly feels like his window of opportunity to be an idol is closing rapidly. the word failure still haunts his mind, even months after the program came to a close. honestly, if jinyoung had it his way, he would never show his face in public again.

but apparently the universe has other plans. or maybe just jung joomi, who for whatever reason seemed determined to get jinyoung to the festival. "my new band is going to perform for the first time for the cover contest you should come watch us" was the first text, which was a little tempting since jinyoung does like live music, and joomi's a decent musician so the rest of his new band can't be that bad... right? no, maybe they suck. jinyoung tried to get out of it by promising to come to the next gig after they've ironed out any kinks from their debut. but then joomi promised to buy jinyoung food and... well, he hasn't said no sharing a meal, especially one he doesn't have to pay for, in a very long time. if anyone asks, it's the only reason he went out at all today. he's dyed his hair since the show ended; maybe he'll get lucky and no one will recognize him enough to approach him.

it turns out that joomi's band doesn't suck too, which is a plus. jinyoung didn't try to force his way to the front of the crowd, it's not like he doesn't know what joomi looks like up close or something. but they had picked a landmark to meet up at once the show was over and jinyoung waits for his weird little friend to show up, half a water bottle in his hand in case joomi needs something to drink after being up there under the lights. jinyoung knows how dehydrating that is, but water is too damn expensive at this event and he was thirsty too. splitting it is the best joomi will get from him today.

"the crowd seemed to like you," jinyoung greets the other man as he finally approaches, handing over the water. he doesn't say if the performance was good or bad, not really being a good judge of those sorts of things himself. or maybe he's just loathe to give joomi compliments based on the history of this relationship and how new the friendship really is. he can be weird like that. "with cam and kou you have like... half of frost team in your band now." he thinks it's a little funny; only he and haneul are missing from the lineup. when they did so well that week, jinyoung was sure that they'd win overall. alas...