Mar 28, 2016
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#7 Never Mine
It’s been really hard to reach out to people lately, I’ve been missing a lot -wandering away from the present and thinking about catching a sunrise (or a sunset) with a cup of coffee in my hand. Thinking of the never been, and what could have been (with you).
Most days I wouldn’t even recognize you in my memory, but there are times where your words appear before my eyes and the scars open up again. Maybe you were almost mine, and maybe almost doesn’t mean anything, but oh god it could have been.
Still, some things are just not meant to be and everything happens only for the better. Suppose I had cared for you and kept you in my prayers and loved you wholeheartedly, I will still be wrong for you or you will still be wrong for me if that’s what’s meant to be.
Though “almost” breaks my heart constantly, I’m glad that I admitted that I was wrong for you. Because if I hadn’t, it would have been such a great loss for both of us. For you would have pretended and I would have just played along.
Toilet Romance
I shiver to shake the unwelcome feelings, and in between bouts of silence I remind myself that nothing is sacred. I burn the wound shut where I had cut away the nagging flesh, then cast the spoils someplace dismal to grow. Each of us does the exact opposite of what is right, out of lonesomeness, out of misery, out of common ground. There truly are no good people in this world, only people who want to be seen. One way or another, the flesh comes crawling back.