Ways not to sew, or, Learning to use a sewing machine by process of elimination
forget to install a bobbin
bobbin tension way too low
top thread tension way too high
lubricated everywhere the instructions said, now there's lube dripping down the needle
sew your own shirtsleeve to the project
pull the fabric through too much
pull the fabric through too little
driveband eroding the power cord
where the fuck did that screw go
where the fuck did that screwdriver go
fabric not under the needle
fabric layers not under the before
fabric wrong way round (up/down)
fabric wrong way round (left/right)
fabric wrong way round (front/back)
why would I need a zipper foot for the piping and zipper [...] why is the piping and zipper so far away from the seam
why would I need a walking foot for these thick fragile layers which always want to stretch out of alignment
sewing over your finger (I HAVEN'T DONE THIS ONE YET)
wow it's awkward pushing all this fabric under the arm of the machine, if only I had sewn this with all the bulk free in the huge empty space to the left instead
cat likes the heat of the machine light