Jun 29, 2015
I know I love him. Know him well enough. He knows me better than I do. But there is always that part of me that gives anyone golden tickets to leave.
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I know I love him. Know him well enough. He knows me better than I do. But there is always that part of me that gives anyone golden tickets to leave.
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Thinking of writing more songs. Making these ones for me.
I keep having these weird dreams of people having sex with me and denying it. Like c'mon. I can't be bad in my dreams! I shouldn't be in reality if that's where it's going to lol
So last night these girls kept asking me if I was bisexual because I was with a few girls before. I don't label myself that really because I do believe love is love. If I marry ~ date a woman, that'd be awesome. I do love women and men (Some days I hate men more) but I just always knew that even when my first kiss was with a girl (but used to say it was a boy). I am more of finding the right one though. I want her to be all for me and I would be for her. I wouldn't care if she'd be attracted to others because that's natural. You can't help to look. I don't want marriage right now but I want love and I want a long relationship. I want someone to fall so deep for me. I didn't get that as fast last time.
sudden thought
I have the rights to be hurt. I have the right to vent on anything I want.
Who says I can’t do anything? Who says I can’t continue to be angry or sad or happy?
I was depressed for 2 years. I couldn’t get out of it. I lost a lot of weight and I didn’t do things that helped with my sadness. I was very alone. I still have somewhat of it inside. It’s hard for me to get back into what I loved. It’s hard for me to let someone love me when I can’t love myself. Who would want to even think of spending a year with someone who would rather push the one they might love away because they’re afraid? I’m very afraid of what’s in store for me. My past is not pretty and it’s like it’s my only identity. I really try to forgive the ones who left, who I hurt, who have been waiting for me. I want to let things go.
I want everything to be okay now. I’ve been praying to something for years now. Let things be okay.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Do you ever get butterflies so bad when you hear someone's voice? Do you wonder what your laugh does to their skin? Do they ever stare at the ceiling imagining what you're looking like when they're not around? Can you feel their fingers glide across your legs by the thought of it? I think of all these things or know this happens. What you're doing to me is making me crave you every minute of my days.
My own words
Honesty is a big thing for me. I wasn't honest for a long time and look where that got me. I've gotten so much better with it now that I'm positive it's what you'll get from me. Now, all I want is the truth given back to me. I don't care if it hurts or if it's taken too long to be said.
My busy mind at 1am
I want to be the reason you write poems I want to know what I could rhyme with I want to be your work of art I want to know how creatively you can recreate me I want to know if you would use a thesaurus to find another word to describe me I want to know how long it would be I want to know how you truly feel and know if it's genuine I want to know if you even have the spare time to think of me for a long period or even for a second.
this is why I can't be up until 2am