#bedamara

You were afraid to sleep cause you didn’t want to die in your sleep.

You were afraid to relax, because you knew that your body would take that moment to shut down..

But the heaviness in your eyes and the slowness of your heart made it so. It hurt and your body was screaming ‘please let me rest’. Blood was still everywhere, and despite titching things up internally and externally, your body was fighting to recover. 

And that was a losing battle.

With your hand on KZ’s, you asked him for a favor. “Can you get me something from the cafeteria? Just a chocolate bar? I’m so sick of this hospital food..” It was a simple request and KZ did as he was asked, giving you a kiss. In all honesty, you just didn’t want him to see this. Flower wasn’t in the room and Scuttles was at work.. It was all going to be okay. You had given your bro a few messages for him to come back to whenever that would be. The thought of you going before him this time made you laugh a little. He was already so old and yet, perhaps this was something that needed to be done. Now it was your turn to leave him behind, as morbid as that sounded.

It was all going to be okay..

As soon as he left, you closed your eyes, a shaky breath leaving you as you finally let your body do as it’s been begging you to do.

Everybody would be okay.

Scuttles would be fine. There were places for him to go, friends to be with, and the house had the ocean behind it, so he could always go swimming. KZ would have the garage all to himself and he could do so many great things now. He could help Sun and Mickey, he could be there for them and he could be there to make sure that they were taken care of. Sebastian would be fine, constantly looking after everybody.. KZ would make sure that he got the necessary upgrades. Damien would be good, too.. He had other partners for him to lean on. He had a leg now, and that was good. Without you there, he wouldn’t hurt like that again. Damara.. She seemed so keen on healing you, but you merely did not want her to see you like this. You didn’t want her to waste that energy on you, didn’t want to see her cry against you.. She deserved better than that.

How curious that it was all black. No special colors, no lights.. No hand to guide you. Just the sound of the machine’s continuous single note and the clamoring of doctors coming in to save you.

They could try, but your body had already given up.