do you know any fics of Burt or one of their parents (excluding Kurtâs mom) dying and them comforting them each other?? kind of like in the journeying ?? love you guys you are amazing :)
For some of these fic recs, the comforting happens after the death. - HKVoyage
In My Place by LauGS
Blaine has always been shy and introverted, so after his father dies, he looks for comfort in his childhood dream - owning a book store. But then Kurt Hummel walks into his life, turning his dream into a complicated affair. Klaine AU.
~~~~~
Tip/Tilt by Rainjoy
Blaine doesn't always think very far ahead; it's an acknowledged personality flaw. Season two goes wrong, and Kurt meets Blaine too late. Comes with a *whole* bunch of warnings you should probably read first. Complete, links to the next chapter at the end of each chapter.
Note: Electronic versions are available to download here.Â
~~~~~
Love's Arrangement by fablewriter
Before he passed away, Kurt's father arranges a deal with Blaine Anderson, the son of the late Brock Anderson of Anderson Banks and Stocks â a marriage between him and his son, Kurt when he is of age. Kurt goes into a world that is so unfamiliar but more welcoming than with his step-mother and siblings, as Blaine's husband.
~~~~~
The Lake House by inkinmyheartandonthepage
Tumblr Prompt: Kurt has lost everything but this house. His father died of cancer, never married Carol, he has lost his friends when things became rough. So he moved out of Lima and started living there. Blaine is a young artist/painter who loses his way one night and ends up in front of the house. Cue epic love story where Kurt becomes Blaine's muse. Rated T at the moment.
Note: The author forgot to mark this as complete. Judging by the reviews of the last chapter, the story is fully posted.
~~~~~
Take All That I Am by @becausehiships
In a world where extreme opposites canât help but attract, never to leave one another alone again, rock bottom is just the beginning.
For Blaine, rock bottom turns him right side up and suddenly he doesnât feel like running anymore. He finds a beautiful, ethereal, much-older man in Kurt, the owner of the coffee shop Blaine escapes to for shelter from the constant black cloud that follows him everywhere he goes. The Lima Bean is, gratefully, within the boundaries of the allowed radius Blaineâs constricted to after stealing a thesaurus (of all things) and he falls into a routine with Kurt without effort, seamlessly inserting himself into the manâs life, forcing his way inside his heart.
Reluctant to truly live his life without the people heâs lost, Kurt keeps Blaine at armâs length until itâs time to let go and learn more about either of them than he could have ever wanted to handle. With one look at Blaine, Kurt quickly realizes that he is seemingly only attracted to seventeen-year-old faux bad boys who desperately need saving and that he must resist if he doesnât want to end up slaughtered by his fellow Midwesterners or in jail. He learns that Blaineâs father is a callus, homophobic man threatening all that he is only because Blaine is attracted to other boys the way he should love girls. Kurt leads them both down a dark, twisting path toward recovery and they find a way to fall in love, against all odds.
Itâs a story of loving someone despite where they come from, despite their past. Take All That I Am revels in the differences that make life interesting, and relationships that shouldnât be but are.
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Note: Â it's almost 6 months without her. it took me 5 months to read through our google chat. i'll start organizing everything we ever wrote and edit it out of typos and start posting. i'm sorry it's taken so long; grief is fucking awful.
this one is a stupid little one we wrote right when glee ended. Â they get much better as time goes on... i promise to organize everything and get it posted.
the one that happens when Darren gets a case of nostalgia.
Masterpost | AO3
Darren has the biggest, baddest, most powerful iPhone money could buy. Â So when a notification pops up to let him know that heâs nearly out of space, he scoffs loudly in his empty apartment and sets to start a reorganization project between his iCloud and the phone immediately, since there is absolutely no point to having a four thousand megapixel camera on a cell phone if he canât use it to capture every special moment. Â Itâs sunny and warm in the city; he should probably be outside. Â But then heâd want to take pictures of how beautiful everything around him is and he canât do that until he cleans out whatâs simply not needed. Â He plugs in and gets started.
As heâs watching the photos and videos flash across the screen within the import to his hard drive, itâs as though heâs watching a chronological movie of his whole life. Â Every single moment that he once thought to be important enough to document reflects for a split second, glaring back at his reflection he sees against the sunlight of the window behind him.
Every person in every picture is familiar and a complete stranger, and holy shit theyâve all come so far since Darrenâs start on the show. Â Baby faces and grins, the billions of photos from hanging out on tour, selfies that werenât classified as such yet on duck boats and in front of royal living quarters and decked out in pointed black hats in Salem, and later at sushi restaurants and Disneyland and whoeverâs house. Â Pictures of a baby-young Chris taking his first shot somewhere in the midwest, pictures of Ashley and Dianna posing in second-hand prom dresses they found in a vintage shop in Brooklyn, the Zurich sky, the Eiffel Tower. Â Dublin. Â A group photo dressed as Cheerios, Darren blowing out birthday candles with Chris grinning at him in the background before they were totally good again. Â A video of Chris doing Single Ladies on tour. Â Warbler rehearsal.
Darren leans back in his chair and covers his wet eyes with one hand. Â He feels flushed and dizzy and all alone. Â Cooper appears and sits beneath Chrisâ desk, staring at him through the glass top.
âOkay, Coop. Â Iâll take you in a minute.â
He navigates to his iTunes shamelessly and scrolls to the exact four minutes and fifty-seven seconds that he needs to hear right now. Â He crosses the room and turns on the bluetooth stereo system on the top of their dresser. Â He comes back to his computer and hits play. Â Leaâs voice floods the apartment, and he sits underneath the desk with Cooper, hugging the only thing that will let him right now. Â The dog grins and bears it, wagging his tail softly. Â Manâs best friend.
Glee has given him so much opportunity, a chance at fateful and unconditional love, friends and lovers that have since turned into family. Â Even if no one has really reached out to Chris or Darren since they found each other again, they all have a special bond that only those on the inside looking out will ever understand. Â Itâs a connection that will remain for the rest of their lives.
He loses it at more than trophies on a shelf because God, thatâs so fucking true. Â He wrote the damn song and he doesnât realize the thing that he took away from the experience is the new shape of his career, his life, his heart.
Darren sobs in the midst of pushing Cooper off of his lap, the dog glaring back at him before stalking away to spitefully pee on the rug near the laundry room and Darren canât bring himself to care. Â Not now.
He lets the song fade out as he climbs in bed and hugs a pillow, crying silent flowing tears that stream down the bridge of his nose as they fall to their death. Â Nearly three years to the day and it finally hits him. Â He feels like such a douchebag for not getting emotional at any point before right this second.<br />
Those days were sacred and irreplaceable but most of all, over.
Shaking his head, he attempts to snap himself out of it once and for all. Â Itâs not fair that heâs crying about it when itâs old news; itâs not fair that heâs sad about any of it because he would trade it all in a million times if he could still wind up with Chris in the end.
He hears the doorâs lock hitch; he hears footsteps in the foyer and a distinct, âOh Coop! Â Whatâd you do? Â Dare?â
He doesnât trust his voice so he waits until Chris can figure out the fact that heâs right around the corner. Â Eventually, heâs welcomed by a tilted head and a very confused expression.
âWhat happened?â
Darren turns his neck to look at Chris. Â âGleeâs really over.â
Chris looks startled and laughs but cuts himself off when Darren continues to stare, wet eyelashes and puffy red cheeks to boot.
âOh, honey. Â Did it just hit you?â Â Chris rushes around the back of the couch and gathers Darren in his arms.
âI owe my whole life to that stupid show, Chris. Â My whole life.â
âYou would have found your career without Ryan Murphy.â
âWould I have found you?â
Chris lets out a larger than life sigh and curls his lips into the childish smirk Darren loves. Â âI would have still been in Clovis without Glee. Â I imagine Iâd be the assistant manager of a Best Buy. Â So no, probably not.â
Darren nods and kisses him, a brush of lips hardly enough to enunciate his gratitude for this perfect moment between the two of them. Â âI love you so much, Colfer.â
Heâs faced with a genuinely concerned, nervous look on Chrisâ beautiful face.  âDareâŚâ
âShhhh, just hold me.â
âThat, I can do.â Â Chris rubs a palm up and down Darrenâs forearm, ignoring the fur babies to take care of his boyfriend. Â âI love you. Â But honestly, why did it just hit you? Â How? Â Itâs been...â
Darren shrugs. Â âI dunno. Â Just looking at pictures. Â Hey, what did you take from set?â
Chris giggles. Â âOh. Â I donât remember.â
âShut up. Â Of course you remember.â Â Darren smiles and pats the couch under them.
âFine.â  Chris combs through Darrenâs curls and looks out into space as he thinks.  âI took⌠the hippo broach, a pair of pants from the last episode, Pavarottiâs bedazzled pencil box casket, because I actually spent time and effort on that. Oh, and I got you.â
âMe?â
âI took miniscule little things that, in the grand scheme of things, meant nothing. Â Because the prize I got was so much better than your couch or Coryâs jersey, or Santanaâs Cheerio skirt.â Â Chris nuzzles Darrenâs neck. Â âWhat was the line? Â We didnât need to win any stupid show choir competition singing a break up song. Â Because we won so much more than that. Â Whatâs the line!â
Darren grins and straightens his posture, slipping into Blaine one last time. Â âWe did win. Â We got each other out of this. Â Thatâs better than any trophy, donât you think?â
âI ask you to walk the dog once while Iâm gone, maybe pick up some milk while youâre on your way home, and nothing. Â But you can remember one measly line from like, your fourth episode ever.â
âCertain important things stick.  When I was memorizing that script, I saw so many⌠I thought about you a lot back then.â
âAnd now?â
âAnd now.â Â Darren shrugs his way into a smirky little kiss that turns quickly into so much more.
I donât think my last ask went through, but do you know any fics where Blaineâs dad put him in the hospital and then cut contact with him completely?
This is a very specific request, which makes me wonder if you are thinking of one particular fic. I list below Klaine fics where Blaineâs father is physically abusive. Sometimes he has to go to the hospital but he doesnât. Most times, it is Blaine who cuts off contact with his father. I hope one of these is what you are looking for. Warning that all these fics deal with physical abuse. HKVoyage
Iâve Been Looking For You Forever by Chloe Winchester
Blaine Anderson is cruel, hard, unforgiving and abused, and the only thing that brings light to his life is a boy that canât even see it.
~~~~~
Take All That I Am by @becausehiships
In a world where extreme opposites canât help but attract, never to leave one another alone again, rock bottom is just the beginning.
For Blaine, rock bottom turns him right side up and suddenly he doesnât feel like running anymore. He finds a beautiful, ethereal, much-older man in Kurt, the owner of the coffee shop Blaine escapes to for shelter from the constant black cloud that follows him everywhere he goes. The Lima Bean is, gratefully, within the boundaries of the allowed radius Blaineâs constricted to after stealing a thesaurus (of all things) and he falls into a routine with Kurt without effort, seamlessly inserting himself into the manâs life, forcing his way inside his heart.
Reluctant to truly live his life without the people heâs lost, Kurt keeps Blaine at armâs length until itâs time to let go and learn more about either of them than he could have ever wanted to handle. With one look at Blaine, Kurt quickly realizes that he is seemingly only attracted to seventeen-year-old faux bad boys who desperately need saving and that he must resist if he doesnât want to end up slaughtered by his fellow Midwesterners or in jail. He learns that Blaineâs father is a callus, homophobic man threatening all that he is only because Blaine is attracted to other boys the way he should love girls. Kurt leads them both down a dark, twisting path toward recovery and they find a way to fall in love, against all odds.
Itâs a story of loving someone despite where they come from, despite their past. Take All That I Am revels in the differences that make life interesting, and relationships that shouldnât be but are.
Sequel: Give It All AwayÂ
~~~~~
Fathers by OnceinYourLife
âI love my son, and my son loves Blaine. He matters to me.â While the glee club is in New York, Burt receives an unexpected visitor.Â
~~~~~
One step at a time by annkum
Blaine passes out at the Hummels one Friday night. As they help him change in to PJs, they discover his whole body covered with bruises. His whole life shatters in the after math. He has to put his life together, on step at the time. Rated for adult theme
Sequel: It takes two to tango
~~~~~
Number Not The Voices by MomentsOfWeakness
When Blaine gets into a bad situation the only person he can turn to is Kurt. But Burt is the one that answers Kurtâs phone, and he suddenly finds himself wondering just how far he will go to protect his sonâs best friend.
Note: This is part 1 of The Blaine Hummel âVerse.Â
~~~~~
Courage by strawberryfinn
"There's a knock at the door and Kurt opens it to see a drenched Blaine Anderson looking lost and defeated." Blaine tells his parents about his relationship with Kurt with disastrous consequences. Klaine Kurt Blaine slash physical child abuse
~~~~~
Expanding the Nest by lilmm
AU. There are a lot of unexpected surprises you have to deal with when raising a family. Like your stepson's boyfriend needing a place to stay. Or a pregnancy test coming up positive. Carole has a lot to deal with this year.Â
Summary: In a world where extreme opposites canât help but attract, never to leave one another alone again, rock bottom is just the beginning. Â Itâs a story of loving someone despite where they come from, despite their past. Take All That I Am revels in the differences that make life interesting, and relationships that shouldnât be but are.
Tropes/Genre: Â age!Gap, badboy!Blaine, angst, romance
Lynneâs review: I LOVE this story â itâs angsty and funny and their love is so, so real and deep.
Summary: Hedwig AU  There was always going to be a life after Glee, that much was imminent. Now Chris and Darren have to figure out what that means for them amidst the grit and glitter of the Berlin Wall. Â
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the one in which Chris Colfer is allergic of the âBâ word.
Note: Â Hereâs a cute one about ten months (or so) into the relationship. Â Enjoy :)
Masterpost | AO3
âWhat is this called?â Â Chrisâ brows furrow together as he mixes a concoction of spices in with the flour Cerina will use for the breading.
Cerina laughs, throws her head back in pure joy. Â âWhat youâre making is just Spicy Paparika Chicken. Â Iâm making Kaldereta.â
âMama,â Darren looks up from his computer. Â Heâs sitting at the kitchen table, having had ignored them both up until now. Â âThereâs only four of us. Â You donât need to make both.â
âI want to make sure Christopher will have something to eat if he doesnât like the Kaldereta.â
âOh! Â Iâll be fine. Â Really. If I can stomach Darrenâs cooking, I can eat anything.â
Darren looks at him and raises an eyebrow. Â âDo you even know what Kaldereta is, Colfer?â
Chris glances down into the pot full of brownish-red, simmering sauce on the stove. Â He was pretty sure he could pick out the smell of a few of the spices Darren kept in their own cabinet and onion, but beyond that he had no earthly idea. Â âIâm guessing meat of some kind? Â Onions?â
Darren laughs at the clear thoughts swimming around in Chrisâ head. Â He comes up behind Chris and kisses beneath his ear. Â âGoat meat and liver.â
Chris feels his stomach clench and he tries to school his face into a look that is a little less horrified and green for Darrenâs motherâs benefit, without much luck.  âOh⌠It⌠Uhh.â
âDarren Everett!â Â Cerina snaps her towel against Darrenâs leg. Â âGet out. Â It is not goat meat, Amang. Â Itâs just beef.â
Darren grabs his drink glass off of the counter and laughs like he is honestly that most amusing creature in the world as he takes his seat at the table again. Â Chris shoots him a pointed glare over his shoulder. Â This is the first time Darrenâs family has all been over to the apartment since Chris has been back, and Darren seems hell-bent on doing something to embarrass him.
âIâm sure it will be amazing.â Â He gives Cerina a little smile that she misses because she is entirely focused on her sauce. Â âAt least some of us are helping!â Â He raises his voice without turning away from the chicken breast he is cutting into even cubes.
âMe and Chuck are helping tame your wild image on Tumblr.â
That brings Chris to spin around. Â âDarren, if you are posting stuff on the damn website...â
âWe donât post anything! Â We just like to look.â Â Chuck chimes in without his eyes on anything but the scrolling computer screen. Â âOh, shit. Â Dare, look at this one!â
Chris tries not to let his face show any sign of curiosity when both brothers bend their heads closer together over the laptop screen and matching wicked grins spread across their faces.
âMy boyfriend totally wants to know what picture weâre staring at.â Â Darren flickers his eyes up to Chris, who looks away just as quickly.
âI honestly couldn't care less, you idiot.â Chris goes back to his cutting board and tries to block out the loud snickering from behind him.
âNo, wait. Â I think you should see this one. Â Please?â
Chris sighs heavily. Â Heâll never understand Darrenâs (and Chuckâs, for that matter) fascination with a website comprised of predominantly sexually frustrated fangirls. He wipes his gooey hands off on a dish towel. Â âWhat is it this time? Â Are we astronauts? Â Half raccoon? Â Do I have any tentacles growing out of strange places?â Â
Darren tilts his head, staring harder at the screen. Â
âOh.â
Chris walks behind Chuck and Darren and yelps when the picture on the screen comes into focus. Â âDarren! Â Oh my God.â Â There, teasingly on the screen, is a moving drawing of a very intimate moment in which a piece of said drawing disappears into another piece of it. Â âWhat the hell is wrong with you?â
Chrisâ hands fumble to slam the top of the laptop down, while Darren laughs hysterically, struggling to hold it open. Â âWe are so trying that sometime.â
âIâm not sure if either one of you are that limber, kids.â Â Chuck leans back in his chair with a loud laugh and reaches for his beer bottle on the table.
âYour mother is standing ten feet away. Â Can you please stop trying to embarrass me now? Â This is all so immature.â Â Chris gives up the fight and folds his arms defensively over his chest.
âAnd Mama knows what two, consenting adults do together. Â She made two perfect children, after all.â
âOh my God. Â Please, Darren.â Â Chris turns to him and stares at him, utterly broken and freaking out. Â He hopes he comes off the as the epitome of humiliation.
âWell, she made one perfect child and one hell of an annoying mistake.â Â Chuck shoves Darren away from the laptop, and closes out of the browser window for poor Chrisâ benefit.
Chris crosses the kitchen and goes back to dicing the chicken. Â Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cerina quietly giggling under her breath and he canât help but smile broadly at her.
With the insanity that made up their schedules, he and Darren hadnât had a lot of time to spend with either of their families in the few months previously to today. Â There were movies to film, new roles, long hours in Midtown basement recording studios, and none of that allowed them even quality time to see each other, let alone anyone else they love. Â The precious time that they did find was usually greedily hoarded away and guarded from any and every thing the outside world could throw at them. Â Even after almost a year together, Chris is insanely protective of their personal lives.
But this gorgeous, golden lit afternoon is an exception. Â Darrenâs parents were in town for a few days of grandchildren spoiling and relaxation, and Cerina and Darrenâs older brother gathered at the apartment to eat dinner and convince Darrenâs mom that none of her boys were wasting away in starvation, while Grandpa stayed up in Westchester with the runts. Â The thought that he, himself, might be one of Cerinaâs boys now fills him with a kind of skin tingling warmth and comfort that he canât help but feel when the air around him is so saturated with laughter and ease. Â There are no tense silences of passive judgements here. Â Itâs nice, easy. Â He canât help but wonder, as he stirs the food in the pan in front of him, what it would have been like to grow up in a family like this one. Â He cuts the thought process short. Â Heâs done with looking back. Â Chris is here now, and this is exactly where he wants to be.
Cerina takes over the frying and the stirring and the concocting; she tells Chris to go relax with the boys. Â He smiles at her, rinses off his hands, and picks up Brian, totally ignoring Darren and Chuck, and heading into the living room. Â He switches on the television and starts browsing Netflix aimlessly. Â
Chris doesnât make it past three screens of options before Darren is flopping down next to him, slinging a heavy arm over his shoulder, and disrupting the cat from his lap.
âMove, beast. Â My Chris.â
âYou are so cruel.â
âIâm not cruel, Iâm territorial. Â He gets hair all over my pillow, and itâs not cool, man!â Â Darren tilts his head to one side and directs his voice towards the grumpy feline glaring up at him from the floor. Â
âBrian loves you, though. Â He wouldnât sleep on your pillow if he didnât like your scent.â
Darrenâs eyebrows crinkle closer together.  âI donât know if I find that kinda sweet or really fucking creepy.  Either wayâŚâ  He pulls his legs up to tuck them underneath his body and nuzzles his head into the side of Chrisâ neck.  Chris can feel Darrenâs lips stretched into a grin against his skin.  âMy Chris right now.â
Chris looks at Darren then back to the screen. Â âDownton or Orange?â
âI thought we agreed that I passed that particular test? Â The correct answer is whatever you want to watch.â
Chris can hear Darrenâs mother laugh loudly from where she stands over the stove. Â âYouâre training him!â
Chris smirks. Â âItâs been a tedious, hard fought battle. Â Weâre almost there.â
Chuck either begins to choke the words âdick whippedâ from where he is pulling up pictures on the computer, or he bit into one of the chillies Chris had sliced a while ago.
âIâm still in the room!â Â Darren pulls away from Chrisâ side with a dejected look. Â âBrian can just have you back then, asshole.â
âNuh uh. Â My Darren.â Â Chris kicks out with one long leg, pinning Darren down onto the couch and scooting closer across the cushions. Â âBesides, I donât know if youâre aware of this or not, but Brian has become a two owner cat. Â I caught him looking for you the other day. Â Once a cat starts looking for you to operate the can opener, thatâs a lifelong commitment. Â Youâre pretty much stuck.â
Darrenâs lips twitch with the desire to break back out into a wide grin. Â âWell, damn. Â The cat says Iâm stuck.â
âDammit, Darren. Â I was so mad at you three minutes ago. Â Stop.â
Darrenâs eyes go wide and innocent. Â âDonât blame me for being irresistibly adorable! Â Blame that woman in there, she hatched me. Â Hey, Ma!â Â Darren calls out over the back of the couch. Â âChris is mad at you!â
Chris yanks Darrenâs body back down and puts his head on Darrenâs shoulder. Â âDare, Iâm serious. Â I really donât want to mess this up and you need to stop humiliating me in front of your family. Â Please.â
Darren traces the frowning lines around Chrisâ mouth with two fingers. Â âIâm just playing with you. Â Thatâs what my family does. Â They adore you.â
âEase me into it, then.  This isnât exactly⌠what Iâm used to, and I am freaking out a little here.  This may be how you interact with your family, but thatâs not the case with me.  So can you please cut me some slack here?â
Darrenâs face turns serious, but his eyes locked onto Chrisâ face are still soft and full of so much unspeakable emotion that it almost makes Chris want to back away. Â Even now. Â âIâll behave myself. Â But you remember that every person here loves you, alright?â
âI love you.â Â Caught up in the jewel-like amber and greens in Darrenâs eyes, Chris leans forward to press his lips against his, until heâs startled away by the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen. Â He licks at his bottom lip nervously. Â âShould we be in there? Â Are we being rude right now?â
âNah, Iâm pretty much banned from the kitchen when my mother is around. Â You start one little fire trying to make mac and cheese when youâre nine and the shit follows you for life.â
Chris laughs loudly, as if it bubbles out of him unexpectedly and fiercely. Â He looks at Darren and rushes into the kitchen with all his fear of not being accepted in the pit of his stomach. Â âChuck! Â Tell me the mac and cheese story.â
Darrenâs brother looks up from staring dazedly at the pictures of his two-year old on the computer screen. Â âOh, uh are we talking about the fire mac and cheese story or the time that Darren stopped eating anything else for a month or two?â
âOf course you have two mac and cheese stories.â Â Chris sits at the table. Â âFirst tell me the one about how my boyfriend set boiling water on fire.â
Darren groans while walking back into the room, scratching sheepishly at the back of his head. Â âI was home by myself and got hungry, so I just dumped the box of noodles into a pot with some water and I kinda forgot about it and went to take a snooze on the couch.â
Chris smirks. Â âYou said you were nine? Â Surely, you knew all about evaporation by then.â Â
Cerina makes a quiet tsking noise from across the kitchen. Â âYou could have killed yourself, Pogi. Â I donât think this story is funny at all.â
Chuckâs head turns away from the laptop. Â âOh, itâs funny. Â Darren was grounded for a month, which means they took his Playstation and guitars away. Â And mom got to remodel the kitchen.â
âOf course. Â Your guitars. Â When you were nine.â
âI was a very advanced nine year old!â Â Darren shoves at Chris and saunters over to pick at the food his mother is currently dishing up. Â âBesides, youâre one to talk. Â You were a statewide debate champion when you were what? Â Ten?â
âFifteen, idiot. Â I am very passionate about the issues of the world.â
Chris watches as Cerina smacks at Darrenâs arm with a dirty mixing spoon, causing him to jerk it back with a frown. âNo, you just like to argue. Â Youâre great at it.â
âI donât know if I should take that as a compliment or not.â
Chuck pulls his phone out. Â âAw. Â Look at this. Â This kid is the most adorable little girl in the world, right? Â Connorâs sleeping, so no pics of the mini-me, Dare. Â Sorry.â Â
Behind him Darren shrugs, while Cerina loudly and readily agrees. Â Chris smiles at the picture politely and looks at the toothy grin of the toddler. If he was being honest, he tended to think most kids looked alike and were strange, alien little creatures. Â âSheâs precious.â
âIâm precious!â Â Darren pipes up over their shoulders.
âNo, youâre arrogant.â Chris is quick to counter. Â Maybe thereâs still some debate team champ left in him, after all. Chris snuffs down the urge to call Darren a few more choice names with a tight smile, and sits down beside to Chuck to look at about a thousand and one nearly identical photographs of Darrenâs niece.
âYou better be next, boys.â Â Cerina cheerily exclaims. Â âIâve always wanted-â
Chris feels the bile in his throat, can taste his stomachâs acid coming up to play. Â He must turn as white as a ghost; his legs feel like lead but he manages to get up and rush into the bedroom while muttering something like âexcuse meâ he thinks.
Chris barely catches a glimpse of Darrenâs round eyes before he makes his mad dash out of the room, but it was enough to recognize the concern in them.  Chris pulls the door shut behind him and leans back against it, breathing short and erratic breaths.  He can distantly register Darrenâs voice rising and falling from back in their kitchen, but Chrisâ mind is whirling with too much blind panic to even begin to try and eavesdrop.  The simple act of moving in with Darren a few months ago, was by far the largest and most profound act of commitment that he has ever willing stepped into.  Heâs learning, but itâs a process.  The thought of anything beyond that⌠No.
âBabe?â Â Darren knocks lightly on the bedroom door.
âIâm fine!â Â He isnât. Â His voice is high and shot through with panting breaths.
âYouâre not. Â Can I come in?â
Chris canât very well deny Darren entry to the bedroom that they have shared for almost a year. Â He moves his body away from the door and turns the knob slowly. Â
Darren stands still and worried looking on the other side.
âIâm fine. Go⌠go talk to your family.â
Darren pushes through and sits on their bed. Â âShe didnât mean anything by it.â
âI...â Chris wrings his fingers into a tight knot before he catches himself and shakes his hands out by his sides. Â Heâs been making such a conscientious effort to lower his anxious mannerisms lately and, for the most part, itâs been working. Â Though usually he isnât confronted with the idea of something as utterly terrifying as full on adulthood, as children..
âDare.â
âI know. Â Shhh, we donât have to talk about it.â Â Darren gathers Chrisâ head into his arms and kisses Chrisâ hair.
Chris draws in long breaths and allows the scent of Darrenâs aftershave and their brand of fabric softener to fill his lungs and his rapidly beating heart. Â It takes a few moments, but it works. Â He feels the iron bands surrounding his chest release and he can breathe in and out freely again.
âI love you so much and if we decide we need to house forty-seven cats instead of children, I will be right there with you. Â Okay?â
Still too afraid to look at anything else, Chris shakes his head against Darrenâs shoulder. Â âYour mom just said-â
âMaybe Mom needs to mind her own business.â
âDarren, thatâs your mother. Câmon. Â We both know thatâs not about to happen.â Â Chris looks up into Darrenâs eyes and even manages a tiny one-sided smirk.
âLook at you, beautiful.â Â Darren tilts his head and wipes Chrisâ tears away. Â âYou just let it carry you away, that emotion?â
Letting out a frustrated groan, Chris twists himself away from Darrenâs arms and hastily mops at his wet face with his shirt. Â He hates getting all bent out of shape over things that most people his age would just laugh or shrug off, it just isnât who he is.
âDo you believe me when I say that I want you to be it? Â Does that scare you?â
Chris sits down on the edge of their bed, still twisting the cotton of his pale blue button down with his fingers.  âA lot of things scare me.  Youâre not one of them.  But that out thereâŚâ
Darren sits down beside him, not touching, but close. Â âThat out there was what?â
Chrisâ lips twist tight.  âIf you were with⌠other people, that might be something you were thinking about.â Chris doesnât say a woman, he doesnât need to.  âI donât want that to become a thing with your family like I know it is with my mom and me.â
Darrenâs brows fury together and his eyes become wet.  âChris, can I tell you something without you getting⌠offended, I guess?â
That causes Chris to look up, one eyebrow quirking upwards. Â âWhen has that ever stopped you before?â
âThis is a serious conversation.  I can control myself through these.â  Darren takes Chrisâ hand and rubs his thumb across knuckles.  âYour parents⌠the way they think?  It makes me want to hurt them, like, really badly sometimes.  Obviously, I grin and bear it.  Theyâre really⌠for her to say that to you⌠Iâm so sorry, baby.  Iâm so sorry you had to grow up like that.â
Chris shakes his head, the old as time need to defend the very people who had at times made him feel like an outsider in his own family rising up in him like a tidal wave.  An old leftover response from his younger years.  âItâs not one specific thing anyone ever said, Dare.  It was just⌠comments and a lot of tiny insinuations handed out one by one over the years.  I know that Iâm not exactly the son anyone envisions when they start a family.  I guess I canât blame them for having a few small disappointments about things that will never happen because of my sexuality.  Itâs human nature.â  He ends with a weak one armed shrug.
âBut you can have babies. Â That are yours. Â If you want. Â You shouldnât have to live up to their expectations and I hate that you still feel the need to.â
âI donât know if thatâs ever going to be in the cards for me or not. Â Itâs just not something Iâve ever given much thought to. Â I mean, my own childhood? Â It kinda sucked. Â Iâm not about to wish that on anyone. Â I like kids, hell, I write entire books for kids, but thatâs mainly because I still feel like one myself. Â Does that make sense? Â That I can be a certifiable, card carrying, old guy and still a kid at the same time?â
âYou are not your parents, Chris. Â We donât need to talk about this now, but I want to have kids one day in the future. Â But itâs not a game changer if the person I spend my life with isnât interested.â
Darrenâs hand lies sideways on his thigh, fingers curled in invitation and Chris takes it, threading them in between his own. Â âIt seems that most of our big conversations happen when weâre not quite ready for them, just like almost everything else in my life. Â Iâm starting to get sickeningly used to it to tell you the truth.â
âWe deal with it as we go. Â Thatâs my favorite thing about this.â
âYour favorite thing is that we have no idea what weâre doing? Â Really?â Â He canât help but shake his head and give Darrenâs hand a tight squeeze and release.
âUh huh. Â It makes me love you more when weâre under pressure of not knowing one damn thing. Â Itâs our own personal fairy tale thatâs never been written before.â
âBe careful, youâre talking to a writer. Â The unwritten is kind of like crack for us.â
âSo write about us. Â Iâll actually read that one before the signing.â
Chris laughs and straightens up off of the side of the bed. Â A glance in the mirrored closet door tells him that his face is red and hopelessly swollen around his eyes. Â âShit.â
âSee how devastatingly gorgeous you are, Colfer? Â It breaks my heart on the daily.â
He catches Darrenâs gaze in the mirror. Â âYou are so full of it sometimes. â Â He sighs and starts unbuttoning his tear-stained shirt to change before he has to go back out there and face Darrenâs mom and brother again. Â He pulls a dresser drawer open and begins sifting through for another shirt. Â âSo does your mom think Iâm insane now or just dangerously allergic to the b-word?â
Darren laughs loudly. Â âI just literally said that you were allergic. Â Weâre rubbing off of each other.â Â Darren winks and disappears into the bathroom and returns just as quickly with a cold washcloth. Â
Chris smirks, pulling a soft, worn cotton tee shirt on over his head. Â âIâll pass on the rubbing joke. Â But youâre going to have to give her some kind of explanation for you running in here after me or else she will think we just had a quickie with her and your brother in the apartment.â
âIâll clear it up. Â Are you sure youâre okay?â Â Darren props his arms up on Chrisâ shoulders and joins his own hands together behind Chris. Â
Chris nods and pecks Darren softly on the cheek. Â âIâll be fine. Â Please go out there and smooth things over while I try to make myself look a little less mentally unstable, okay?â
âWeâre your family now, Colfer. Â Itâs okay to look a little crazy in front of family.â Â Darren grins into a kiss. Â âCome find me whenever you feel comfortable.â Â He disappears.
Chris follows Darren to the door, shutting it with a soft click behind him. Â His forehead falls forward to rest against the cool wooden surface, and he sighs, shoulders and posture slumping with the breath.
Every new step that take together feels more uphill and disorientating than the last. Â But maybe thatâs just how things were always going to be for the two of them. Â The way they met wasnât normal, they way they were torn apart wasnât. Â The way he came literally falling back into Darrenâs life through a dressing room door into a land of glitter and rock and roll certainly wasnât your everyday love story, yet theyâre making it work.
Chris doesnât dwell on any of this. The one thought that seems to linger in the back of his ever cycling, never rest mind as he makes his way on unsteady legs back towards the kitchen is that he thinks that maybe, someday, Darren would make a pretty good dad.
Everyone should go wish becausehiships the happiest of happy birthdays! She's at work today and deserves to have her inbox flooded with love (and porny Crisscolfer headcanons if anyone is so inclined...) Happy Birthday, Nikkie!!! đ