#because dorks

You're alone. For all eternity, you never see, hear, smell, touch, or communicate with another sentient being, human or otherwise; the only living organisms are plants.

You're in a place that perfectly matches the vision of paradise you had in life, whether it's a tropical island or a cabin in the north woods. Your every physical need and want is attended to; you don't have to eat, sleep, or bathe, but you can do so if they give you pleasure.

You have a pool, or a mirror, that lets you observe events on Earth; you can keep an eye on your loved ones or watch your favorite celebrity masturbate or just gaze at Times Square for 20 hours on end if that's what suits you. You can't communicate with people or animals in any way, just watch.

Your mental and emotional state are exactly as they were when you were alive. If you were happy, you'll be happy (so long as you can cope with being utterly alone). If you were schizophrenic, you're still schizophrenic. If you were depressed in life, you're still depressed. You have no access to medication, procedures or, obviously, psychotherapy. But if through dozens, hundreds, thousands, or millions of years' worth of contemplation you can find a way to be happy with yourself and yourself alone, you've earned happiness, and thus heaven. Otherwise you're pretty well fucked, though.