#bearlytolerablethethird

“You think she’ll like it?”, Hawke asked, as she nervously fiddledwith a piece of loot which she’d obtained from Chateau Haine.

Varric reached out for it before inching back reflexively, lookingup at Hawke cautiously.

“Oh, for Andraste’s sake,” Hawke said, “It wasn’t my giftthat exploded Merrill’s house, it was her revenant-in-a-phial. It’sperfectly safe, stop being such a fussbudget, Varric.”

“All right, if you say so,” Varric said as he picked the necklace up,from the table in the Hanged Man where the two of them had agreed to meet, studyingits features. “Maker’s left nut, Hawke, how many rubies are on thisthing?”

“Five,” Hawke said with some small degree of pride. “And I believeit’s nielloed with silverite, to boot. So, what do you think?”

Varric turned it over, studying the necklace and its facets. “Well,ah, the thing here is…”

Hawke buried her head in her hands. “She’s going to hate it.”

“I didn’t say that.”

Hawke peeked up at him past her forearm. “You didn’t need to.”

“Well, I think the thing here is that don’t get me wrong here, weall like the shiny things you get us, and I always appreciate it whenever youget me one of those belts with the pouches for more grenades and smoke bombs,but the gift kind of has to suit the person.”

“So, you don’t think it suits her?”

“Hawke, did her former domicile exactly say glitter and opulence?”,Varric asked.

“Well, no, but that’s only because none of ours really do,” Hawkesaid, “I mean, besides my place, and the mansion Fenris is slumming in, andactually…I just realised I’ve never been to your family’s house after yourbrother, well, ah…departed his.”

Varric shrugged. “It’s nothing to write home about. Unless you’reme, in which I do write back home to that very place.”

“Anyway,” Hawke said, “Just because she lives in the Alienagedoesn’t mean that she can’t aspire to intricate shiny things and nicer digs…forthat matter, she is upgrading to my mansion, so there you go.”

Varric took a swig of his ale, before replying, “I think you’reletting this argument get away from you there, Hawke. Also, where in the world didyou get this from?

Hawke was silent.

“Seriously? A crate somewhere in Chateau Haine? Or off afallen guardsman somewhere in there?” Varric asked. “Dare I ask if you washedthis thing, or if those are in fact topazes?”

She snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. I wash everything I hand to youguys. Well, most of everything. I even sent this to be polished before Iwas going to give it to—”

A new voice sounded in the Hanged Man. “Giving it to whom, Hawke?Ooh, it’s so pretty!”

Even a paralysis glyph couldn’t have held Hawke and Varric in placebetter as they were utterly frozen by Merrill’s sudden presence. Many longseconds passed before they turned around to address her.

“Well, this is—”

“Oh, Daisy, hey there, I—”

“Don’t mind me, I came back home and saw you weren’t here, so I askedthat nice Master Bodahn and he said you were meeting with Varric,” Merrill said,leaning in and commenting, “Well, whoever’s going to get it is going to be veryflattered. One…four…five rubies on it! It must be expensive. Unless you justfound it outside somewhere. In which case it’s free. I think. So, Hawke, who’reyou trying to impress with this?”

Hawke, jaw half-open, looked helplessly at Varric.

“Looks like the gift matches the recipient after all,” he said, finishinghis drink and getting up to leave for his lodgings at the Hanged Man. “Stage isall yours, Hawke.”

Getting up and taking Merrill’s hands in hers, Hawke told her, “It’sfor you.”

“For me?”, Merrill asked, “Oh, whatever would I do with it? It’sso…big. And shiny.”

“You could wear when you want to impress guests,” Hawke said, “Orunder your scarf when we’re outside. I’m pretty sure it’s magic, so it mighthelp you out?”

“You’re so thoughtful, Hawke,” Merrill said, putting the chainaround her nape and letting it hang over her scarf. “Although, I do have toask…”

“Yes?”

 “Did you find it in a box? Or off a corpse?”

Hawke’s lip trembled as she tried to find an answer. “Ah, well,I…isn’t it beautiful? Look at the etchings! I think that’s silverite.”

“You’re so right!” Merrill squealed. “I love it, Hawke! Even if youmissed a spot washing the blood off it. Ooh, I guess that answers that questionof mine…”

=

He has been hesitant, and she is patient, but her mindwanders. She wonders what he would do, if he was in her bed, and she moves onehand lower. Her fingers trace a path down her belly, her other hand teasing onenipple still.

Would he touch her, open her, press his fingers inside ofher?

Her hand follows her thoughts, and she gasps. She needsthis, after these long days of travel, after her yearning. She will to give Solasthe space he needs, but she hopes he doesn’t mind how much he is on her mind.

It would feel so good to touch him, to hear him moan andmake him shake.

Her fingers slide up, wet and slippery, to her clit, one oneach side. She pinches lightly, increasing the pressure, then lets go, andrepeats.

He would look so good under her, his head thrown back as sherides him. His cock would feel so good inside of her.

She is hot, her clit swollen with need. She tilts her hipsup and presses and moves against her own slick. Her body convulses, her sex pulsing,clenching as she reaches her climax, moaning his name in her lonely room.

It would feel so good, to cuddle next to him. To have hersheets smell like him.

He brought her flowers, once, and she wonders if he’d do soagain. How would it be; to have someone put flowers in her room, to share herbed. Someone to wake up next to her in the mornings. She wants it. Her body issated, but she longs for him. She wants to have him with her here, and not justfor a quick release and a romantic interlude. She wants him to meet her parentsand her Clan and her brother. She wants no doubts between them. She wants to…she needs…. She wants him not just in her bed, but in her life. She loves him.

She sits up and draws a deep breath. She gets up and cleansher hand in the washbasin.

She doesn’t know what to do with her revelation. She didn’tmean to fall in love. She isn’t ready. Will he feel the same? Can she openherself to him without rejection? Or will it be the same as before, too much,too many desires, too much need for control.

She wasn’t supposed to fall in love. She thought to enjoysome company, with Solas or with others. A quick romance.

Would he look at her every day the way he looked at her,when she passed by his desk, when they rode together, when he kissed her. Maybeshe can trust him with her heart. She can see where this will lead her.