#bearbie

leica z2x . 35mm 200 . out18 . madrid

There’s so many colors in the rainbow, and yet society tries to limit each color to a specific gender, age, etc. As a baby girl, you’re given light pink, if you’re a boy baby- blue. The princess wears pink, and boys should like blue or green. Brides wear white, and we wear black while in mourning. Red roses are for love, and baby puke green was the color of the 70’s. Just where does the idea of pink and blue come from? Why do we generalize, and try to make everyone conform to this color coding? When I was young, I would say that my favorite color was red. The truth was it was pink, but I was already beat up enough... I didn’t want to add to my bruises. So I told them it was red, and people seemed to allow that. Then I thought well what’s the next color on the wheel that I could say is my favorite and not be too girly? Purple perhaps. But it wasn’t any of those… It is hot pink! The color of Barbie, the color of Princess Gwenevere and the Jewel Riders, the color of my inner unicorn! And speaking of #Unicorns, let’s talk a little bit about even animal stereotypes. Mermaids and unicorns are for girls. And boys should be worthy of something more masculine and fearsome. Is the female the fairer sex? I know a couple of pretty tough actin’ girls who might take on and win in a match between a guy. A friend has surmised why I associate gay relationships and try to ape them into hetero normative situations with a masculine and feminine character, is because of internalized homophobia. Am I? I don’t think I am. But then again as many of us do, our opinions and beliefs have been molded in us since day one by our surroundings. So whoever told me I couldn’t like the color pink? No one came out and said it. But society certainly never produced any boy toys that were pink. Is that why I was gravitated towards girls toys? Dolls, pretend house, Lisa Frank supplies, and Disney Princesses, just to name a few. Or was it me being rebellious? Was I rebelling and acting out by choosing to like those things? And speaking of choosing, let’s make it very clear that in my opinion being gay is not a choice – it’s who you are! As Lady Gaga says, “baby you were born this way.” And yet, again in my own hetero normative way of thinking, we’ll just agree to disagree that perhaps that’s what it is. I found myself attracted to men who chose traditionally boy colors as favorite colors. I need someone who likes orange and blue, and then green, and then cerulean blue, and then green again. Blue and green, blue and green. Oh but we can throw in a couple of other colors in there; those were just the guys that I connected with the most. But there was also coral and purple, more blues and reds. No one likes hot pink, like me. But that was OK! Was I purposefully seeking out masculine acting men? Or was it my color test? Actually, I did ask everyone in initial conversations while conversing on dating apps what their favorite color was; for use in future conversations and gift planning. Did I use this as a screening method?! That’s pretty ridiculous. And again, let’s attribute this to my trying to ape a heterosexual relationship. Is it OK to have preferences like that? Should I be open to all options, and not limiting my choices to just masculine men. But I’ve been with two men who are much more effeminate, and that seems to drive me crazy! As I told a friend recently, nothing is worse than meeting a guy that looks totally masculine and then when they open their mouth – the entire Coach handbag collection falls out! But back to colors, my green relationship was the very first relationship where I felt we matched in all aspects... even colors. His love for green just enhanced my love of hot pink! Although he is quite ridiculous, as is his green obsession – kitchenware, household items, food, clothing, hair if he could. It’s all green! I don’t think I would be happy in an all pink house. I’ll leave the dream home to Barbie! But when it comes to showing my love for hot pink, I’m not afraid to wear it on clothing, and yet I’m still hesitant to have it on say a car, or household items. Perhaps the household aesthetic is not so much coming from a homophobic standpoint, but that I love classic style like those influenced by Victorian, the early 1900s through the 1950s, skip over the 1960s through beginning part of the 80s, the 90s of course, and I hate modern. And then when I met my recent long-term relationship, when he said his favorite color was green I immediately began to compare him to Big, as we called him in another post referencing the Sex and the City character. Only Big could like green! That’s his color. I know that’s not true, but that’s what my heart was screaming out. And even though he liked green it didn’t seem and feel the same as with Big. His new green didn’t match with my hot pink. There wasn’t any difference in the greens… It was a difference in the relationship. So whatever your favorite color, or colors, as mine are pink and black, paint with the colors of the rainbow! And be fabulous!

Do not have the perfect body ~I'm chubby~ but I love it 😊🐻 #miamian #bear #bearbie #bearcub #bearspain #bearscubsnbeards #beardedboy #comfortablewithmyself #iloveme (at Zeewolde)