#be raw

I think kid me really needed a parent that I am trying to be for my own daughter. Someone willing to see me as a real living being with thoughts & emotions, instead of whatever something to be trained & silent.

When i was younger i remember constantly being yelled at because i was doing the smallest thing wrong. like, being too excited & singing with movies. I would normally be scolded for this because my parental figure didn't want to hear it or "deal with it" whatever that means.

But who were they to cut my joy & happiness short?

Sometimes i find this ugly part of me leaning towards this type of parenting because it is easier to be in control of a situation, but who am I to tell my daughter she shouldn't enjoy a movie i already know she loves because I put it on for her. I had to rewire myself to give the space for her to explore & feel things, something i don't remember having the freedom to do. she is still small but i do see amazing boundary skills & she is getting better at communicating her feelings. she is so empathetic it seems painful for her.

even writing this is see i have rambled, i wish i had someone like me when i was a kid. someone who got that life sucks for EVERYONE & we are just trying to get through it together.