#bcuts

Lost

Pairing: Dr. Jaehyun x Female Reader

Genre: Strangers to lovers, broken marriage, smut, fluff, angst?

Warnings: Unprotected sex, protected sex, mentions of divorce, broken marriage, fighting, mentions of hospital, slight car accident but not major (please if you have trauma DONT READ).

Note: This story is not finished and not proofread. I think I’ll make a poll or voting to finish the story???????? If y’all are interested to the story so much.

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“I’m fine, really” you faked a laugh in front of your co workers and told them you could leave with them already but the nurses around you strongly disagrees.

“The company will pay for everything. Treat this place as… 5 star hotel” your friend jokes, she knew how you’ve been overworking these past few days and they are all witnesses.

“Well if the patient wants to go despite her weak condition, she can. But I’ll tell you this, she will struggle for the next days at work and we will meet again”

The handsome doctor enters the scene and smiled handsomely at you. Dr. Jeong Jaehyun. He’s here at the emergency room for his internship, “you’re in good hands” he said.

Ever since that day Dr. Jaehyun was on the lookout for you and has been your company during your stay at the hospital. And when you got discharged, on the same day, he took you on a date.

And the rest is history.

Grew more and more in love with each other, became a huge part of each other’s lives, celebrated victories together and even became each other’s support in times of need it was a beautiful relationship, something rare and unique. And you both knew that it will be the two of you until the end.

“I can pick you up if you’re too sleepy to drive” you tell your boyfriend through the phone, telling him you miss him and that you can pick him up. He just got off from his 10 hour long shift and he was telling you how tired he was. “I’ll be there in a matter of minutes” you added

“But you’re tired too” he said.

“Not as tired as you are. Come on,” eventually Jaehyun gave up and let you pick hin up from the hospital. The sun was about to come out while you’re on your way to him, and when you arrived he was already waiting outside. Waiting for you to come out of your car and give him a warm hug and kiss. Of course you were excited to see him and be with him too. So you ran and Jaehyun spread his arms wide to welcome your warm hug.

“I’m not tired anymore, seeing you gave me energy,” he said but his eyes were obviously tired. You just smiled at him and kissed him softly. “Wow. I really feel like I can run 100 laps—“

“Okay. Whatever you say” you giggle and pushed him towards your car.

During the short drive, Jaehyun already slept like a baby and you can’t help but try to be a better and steady driver for he’s a light sleeper. You can’t ruin his sleep. When you arrived at your place, he was already awake but still sleepy, like he was thinking about something that happened earlier.

“It’s my first time seeing a dead body today. I got pale in instant,” he sighed and grabbed his stuff before you can even comfort him. Thinking maybe he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but deep inside you wanted to comfort him.

Jaehyun being a sweet and caring boyfriend… sometimes that is the problem in your relationship.

He didn’t want to share his struggles with you because he thinks he’s making you uncomfortable and he didn’t want you to worry because of him. It’s a work in progress but Jaehyun is a hard job, you thought.

“You know that I’m here to listen right?” You said to him while you watch him brush his teeth. You can see that he’s blushing, his ears were all red and he was smiling while brushing his teeth. And by the time he’s done, he kissed you with his minty lips and walked you towards your bed.

“Well, that’s good morning for me” he said with a sweet smile, hands creeping at the hem of your shirt until they’re inside already. Touching you softly.

“I think we had sex the other morning too?” You giggle while he’s busy kissing your neck. “Want me to ride you instead? You looked really tired,”

“Who says were having sex this morning?” He teased you while touching your boobs gently and making your nipples hard.

Then he stopped and rest his head on your chest. He got up he looked frustrated out of nowhere and you wonder why. Maybe its what he said earlier? Or maybe he just realized that he’s using you now to keep his mind off of things- which is something he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be using you, he was supposed to be honest. But he can’t gather or muster his bravery to show you this side of him. He didn’t want you to him so weak and vulnerable.

Thinking maybe you’ll love him less.

“I’m sorry if I’m too busy these days. To be honest I feel like… I come home to you every morning and I lure you to have sex with me— and I feel like sometimes I’m just using you for stress relief “

And that’s it. That’s all the honesty he could get out of his system.

“You’re not” you said sweetly and pat his side of the bed to make him lie beside you. He did what you said, now he’s staring blankly at the ceiling, and you disturb him by hugging him and resting you head on his chest. He reached for your hand and intertwined your fingers and went apologizing again.

“Breakfast?” You tried and cheer him up, thinking maybe you can change his mood. You see that he’s trying, he smiled and kissed your forehead before he tells you,

“I love you. I’m fine, maybe I’m just tired” he never let go of your hand, “Can we hug until I sleep? I know you just woke up and you’re about to start your day. But this is the only time I could be with you,”

“Oh Jaehyun, of course” you came closer and wrapped your arms around him. For a moment there you fall asleep too, and by that time, Jaehyun was sleeping so deeply but his arms were still wrapped around yours. You kissed him on the forehead and tried not to wake him as you got up. But you remember what he told you earlier, a part of his struggle but he never shared it with you.

So because of that, you came back to bed and hugged him tighter. Jaehyun needs you right now, and you can’t let him face his struggles alone.

“I know what you’re doing. Thank you for staying” Jaehyun says with a sleepy voice, he wasn’t fully awake but he somehow got the feeling that you wanted to stay with him today.

When he woke up, you spent some quality time with each other. Catching up with stories after stories, you two even planned a vacation because you two realized you both needed it. In other words, it was a sweet time with Jaehyun. It’s good to show your partner how much he means to you, and of course, Jaehyun was happy for this beautiful time too.

“What will I do without you?” He joked and kissed you on the lips.

5 years later

He was the first person you could think of but the last person you wanted to see. You knew that you needed help today, you knew that you could have called anyone but him… but you did it anyway.

“Are you okay? — yah! Answer me, are you crazy!”

Jaehyun yelled at you in the middle of the road, worried sick because you got into an accident and hit your car on a tree. It was because you haven’t gotten enough sleep. Actually, you haven’t been sleeping right for a week already.

“Can you at least be kinder and more gentle? For goodness sakes Jaehyun, I got into an accident”

“That’s the point—“ he let out a heavy sigh before soothing your back and being thankful that you’re safe. “Are you sure nothing hurts? Let’s go to the hospital—“

Where? The hospital that kept you from me? The hospital who took you away from me and ruined our marriage? No thank you.

“I’m fine. Really. I-Im sorry I don’t know who to call earlier” You said and Jaehyun just looked at you. Maybe it will really take years to finally adjust and be completely out of each other’s lives.

The separation broke your hearts and quite frankly brought a great change in your lives. But what can you do? The married life is not for you or Jaehyun so you decided to on separate ways.

But that’s what you thought. You thought by separating, you can finally put an end to Jaehyun’s pain but little did you know, your husband is struggling too. Jaehyun may look handsome from head to toe, he may look so composed all the time, but the man’s heart is still in pain because of you. It pains him that you left, it pains that he can’t do something to fix your relationship, it pains him that he lost you completely.

While Jaehyun drives quietly, you can’t help but notice his ring finger. The mark from his wedding ring was still there, maybe he removed it while on his way to you earlier. But honestly it bothers you more that Jaehyun is still longing for your marriage still.

As he continues to drive quietly until he reaches your place, he suddenly felt sick and broken hearted once again. This was once his home too.

“You know we can split the money if we sell the apartment-“ you started but Jaehyun cut you off.

“The apartment is yours. You bought it and I just crash in with you and gave you a hard time during our marriage” he said.

“When will you sign the divorce papers?” You changed the subject.

“It’s getting late you should go” he changed it again. Avoiding the topic of being divorced. That has been Jaehyun’s ultimate goal whenever you remind him of the reality and or whenever the people around him ask about you.

Before you two get married

You almost tripped in the dark while Jaehyun was aggressively kissing you towards his bed. It felt cold the whole day, but Jaehyun’s touch sure did warmed you up, his lips comforted you, his smiles in between kisses made the butterflies in your stomach flap their pretty wings. What is it with man?

“I love you” he whispered and stopped the kiss. Loving how you look under the moonlight that shines perfectly from his window.

“Funny because I was thinking the same thing- I love you too”

And that was the start of your new chapter in life with Jaehyun. You bought a new place and moved in with him. You get to know every single detail about him, physically and emotionally. You learned how to support each other in all the things that you do, no matter how big or small. You matured together and be better for each other.

It was a perfect relationship and you couldn’t ask for more.

“I will be gone for a couple of weeks, it’s a great opportunity to prove what I can do”

He said in a very soft tone. The rain was soothing and so is the song that Jaehyun played as you two enjoy the weather in bed.

“Well, I’ll be here. You’re going to be great- I’ll miss you like crazy but we’ll have more sweeter days when you get back”

He smiled when he heard your words, blushes like crazy as he flashes his handsome smile and started kissing you. His hand cupping you face, pulling you closer to him until there’s no more space in between you two.

While he was away, your days were normal and you didn’t even feel alone in your shared apartment because Jaehyun left lovely notes around. On top of that, he calls you whenever he can and you excitedly answer it every time.

“I miss you. I’m counting down the days until I see you again and I promise you I will stick to you like crazy glue”

“Oh Jae you don’t have to do that” you giggled, “but I’d love that— by the way your mom called, he was asking about you. Have you heard from her?”

“We’ll actually, I didn’t want to lie to you. It was just me forcing her to call you- Aren’t you lonely? Plus you two never bond”

“We can bond together when you get back. I’m fine honestly” you said assuring him with the truth.

This great physical distance between you and Jaehyun just simply prooved that you’re both crazy with each other and that the love you have right now is real. Of course Jaehyun surprised you when got back. You were surprised that you were speechless and threw your arms around him and showered him with kisses which led you two on the clean and cold kitchen floor, making out like there’s no tomorrow. Whispering “i missed you so much” and “i missed you too” over and over again until you both got tired and ended up laughing while staring at the ceiling, hands intertwined and feeling each other’s warmth again.

“You got thin… baby, what kind of work were you doing back there?” You said with a worried tone, trying to get out from Jaehyun’s tight embrace but he wouldn’t let you.

“I’m fine. So what do we have for dinner? Are you part of the menu?” He said with closed eyes, obviously he’s tired but he was fighting it so he could enjoy this moment for you.

“Well I wasn’t ready tonight, but I can cook real quick. You can rest for a bit, yeah?” You smiled weakly and raked his hair away from his face, waiting for him to answer and open his eyes.

“Sounds like a plan” he said and quickly you two got up from the cold floor and started working around the kitchen. But by the time that you were done preparing him dinner, Jaehyun was already in deep sleep in your shared bedroom. He was so tired that he forgot to change clothes and so you did the honors, kissing him softly and hugging him as you doze off beside him.

On the next day, Jaehyun woke up with a growling stomach and immediately felt sorry because he dozed off without a warning last night. He thought maybe you’re mad about it but your embrace says otherwise. So he dropped the disappointment and admired your face while you’re sleeping and looked at your hand long and hard.

Secretly he got out of bed and went to his unpacked stuff for the ring.

He kneeled on the carpeted floor and reached for your hand, kissed it until you wake up and hopefully you won’t punch him by the time you realize what he was doing.

“Jaehyun—“

“I know- I know it’s out of our plans and we never talked about marriage yet. But Y/n, I love you—“

“Yes! I’ll marry you, Jaehyun! YES!” You cut him off with your answer and showered him with kisses. Putting him on top of you after he finally put the ring on your finger.

A week after you handed him the divorce papers

He was still in his usual all black office attire when you arrived at your shared apartment, you figured he waited for you again.

You caught him fidgeting his wedding ring while sitting quietly on the couch with no lights on, just the perfect city lights illuminating the room. But the mood and the atmosphere of the place was so heavy and depressing, he just looked at you coldly while you put your keys on the table and make your way to the dressing room to change.

You thought that this night will be full of arguing again but you were wrong. He was quiet this time and didn’t even say a word, maybe he got tired from all the fighting and shouting these past few days. Maybe he’s finally signing the divorce papers.

It’s been three months since you last slept in one bed together.

Six months since the last kiss that you shared. And almost a year since you last had sex.

You wish you could fix your marriage but everything is too late you believe. There’s no point in pointing fingers, you knew you’re both at fault. But now that you’ve totally given up with your marriage, somehow you feel guilty, somehow you feel like you’re the bad person even tho you were the one who got hurt a lot in this marriage.

“Baby, let’s talk” Jaehyun said but you just ignored him. Just as you thought that Jaehyun will leave you alone for tonight, you were wrong.

While you were cleaning your face, Jaehyun quietly leaned on the door frame and waiting for you to finish. He was not saying anything, and he was just standing there. Just standing and looking at the floor.

“Good night” You said and tried to pass but he stopped you.

“Do you know the main reason why I married you?” He started and finally breaking his silence, “it’s because I never want to loose you and be away from you- I never want to be erased in your life, I wanted to keep you. Forever”

“Can we have one peaceful night, Jaehyun? Just for tonight”

“No. I will fight for our marriage even though you’re obviously so done with it already”

“Well you could have fought for us a long time ago! But you chose to be alone! We were already in the middle of a broken marriage! When was the last time you said you love me? Or even kissed me? The last time we had sex — I feel like I was with a different man!”

Then Jaehyun was silent again. You turned your back and wished for him to go away, but he came closer to you. You can feel his hot breath on your nape and feel your heart beat faster.

He started kissing your shoulders all the way up to your nape. It was good actually. But you cant be weak just because of his lips and so you said, “don’t do this” even though you don’t want him to stop. Deep inside, what you really wanted to say was “don’t stop. I missed this”

“I’m sorry. I really mean it. Come back to me, please. I’m sorry” he said in a very sexy tone, while kissing you. You turned around to see if he was sincere, and you see him in tears. Continuously longing for your warmth and forgiveness.

And so you returned the kiss, but this has consequences. You promised to yourself that this will be the last time. And you will eagerly find the courage to move out and leave him. Officially.

Jaehyun motioned you to your shared room, kissing you endlessly and holding you closer even though there’s no more space between you two. He was that desperate not to lose you anymore. He was gentle and soft the whole time, almost as if he had brought you back in the past when you’re still a happy couple.

You felt his hand slip inside your thin shorts, enough to let you know whats about to happen next. You helped him removed his clothes, he did yours too. And the whole time he thought that you were loving this, but the truth is you were just horny at the moment.

He started by kissing you softly, all the way down to your lower abdomen and finally on your very wet sex. You felt Jaehyun’s hot tongue go up and down on your slit oh so slowly, gripping your thigh and trying to stop them from moving. He once again met your lips, allowing you to taste yourself. This time his hands were all over your body, kneading your boobs and pinching your nipples just how you like it.

Oh it feels good you thought. You can’t remember the last time Jaehyun was like this in bed.

“I’m sorry” he whispered. Making sure that you’re still on the same page before he continues.

He was waiting for your response. Kissing you softly and whispering his apologies, holding you tenderly and letting you know that he’s sincere. “It hurts me Y/n. It hurts me that our marriage is falling apart. Let me win you back please-“

You cut him off with a hungry kiss. Holding him by the nape and drying his tears away. But just as you were about to reach in for another kiss, he slammed his cock in your hole and made you grip his shoulders and moan so loud. Oh how you’ve missed this.

“Condom” you quickly reached for the bedside drawer and opened one packet, not knowing that Jaehyun got offended with your actions…

Condom? He said to himself. I’m your husband, I’m not a hookup.

“Hey, you okay?” You disturbed his thoughts.

But Jaehyun knew better than killing the vibe and stopping what you’re doing right now. He didn’t want to spark up another fight, he was just about to win you again and he will not risk it. “I’m sorry, it’s just that you looked so beautiful” he said and planted a kiss on your cheek before he slowly removed his cock for the condom.

Making you feel his thick and veiny cock again. Slowly, Jaehyun fucked you well that you felt dizzy and on high the whole time. He folded your knees and spread it good so he can reach more inside of you, not letting go of your lips, he catches every breath and every moan you make.

You reached for his hand, which made Jaehyun smile, he let you grip his hands even if it hurts him already. He didn’t care, he was thankful enough that you’re holding him. When the feeling was too much, you started kissing Jaehyun’s hand, sucking his fingers slowly. When Jaehyun felt good and became really turned on because of what you were doing, he pulled out and flip you on your stomach and thrust again while gripping your ass so hard.

“Jaehyun fuck— I’m weak” he reach for your arms to keep you close to him, skin to skin, your back on Jaehyun’s chest. It felt so good. He even doubled the pleasure by reaching down to your wet pussy and run his fingers on your slit to stimulate you. “That’s too much” You said but you were too weak at this point that you landed on the mattress and get away from Jaehyun’s grip.

“You came already. I thought we were gonna cum together?” He asked in sweet tone while kissing your back, hands still moving around your body, kneading your boobs, pinching your nipples. You love it.

“You’re so tight in this position-“ Jaehyun said and continue fucking you again. Spreading your legs from behind and fucking you hard. Even harder than earlier that your face is buried in your white sheets and gripping it tight for you are so overstimulated already.

When Jaehyun finally came, he pulled and removed the condom before pumping his cock and feel his hot cum land on your skin. You can tell that Jaehyun wanted another round with you. But all he can say was he was aware that you two haven’t had good sex for months.

“It’s just that I know that were not okay, and I didn’t think that sex will fix anything. I was afraid I’d annoy you even more. I was giving you space- I’ve had enough of giving Y/n. I want to take you back”

You feel bad about the condom and you realized what you just made him do while you were listening to what he was saying. You covered your face with your arm and said sorry over and over again. How could you treat him like this? Was asking for divorce wasn’t enough that you had to hurt him in bed like this too?

“You did nothing wrong. We can go for another round without one if you want” he smiled and planted kisses on your face. Tears started falling from Jaehyun’s eyes and you were quick to dry them.

“I feel so lost Y/n. Come back to me” he finally said it, reaching for your bedside drawer to get your wedding ring and make you wear it again. He kissed your hand. Over and over again. And you can see that Jaehyun really cares for your marriage.

But that didn’t change anything.

A week after, Jaehyun found the divorce papers on the dining table and felt his heart break over and over again. How could you do this, he thought. He knew that sex wasn’t the answer to fix your marriage, but wasn’t his sincerity enough? He showed you he couldn’t live without you. He said his heart was still full of love for you. He even admitted that he was lost and he needed saving.

When you got home one night, Jaehyun was nowhere to be found. His things were gone, half of the apartment was empty but the divorce papers were still unsigned. You well knew that you hurt him so much this time.

Later that night, he called you. He was drunk and wasn’t in his right mind. Of course you were worried sick but he was eager to give the space you’ve been asking for.

“Come home- at least for tonight. Where are you? I’ll pick you up”

“No. You wanted this. I’m giving it to you- what have I done wrong?” He said in his drunken state, cursing his life every minute, trying so hard to stay up while downing bottles of liquor.

When he ended the call, you went out immediately to find him. Went to every bar you knew and hope that he’s there, you got lucky at your sixth try. The bar was closing already and Jaehyun was sleeping on the table, your heart broke when you suddenly remembered that you put him into this position and your heart broke once again when you saw the tissue on the table, with a note that says.

“Call my wife”

When you brought him home safe and sound, Jaehyun was still drunk and wasn’t aware of his surroundings. He was crying and was still asking for more alcohol like he was still at the bar, little did he know his home and you’ve already taken care of him.

“Don’t go” he murmurs. “Stay for the last time” he said with tears in his closed eyes.

You gave in to his request, tucked him in bed and lay beside him. He was not a stranger but he’s about to become one. You try to forget how warm he feels whenever he hugs you, you try to forget how he usually helps you relieve your stress in just one hug, you try to forget the old Jaehyun that you long for so much. The one that was long gone already.

“You changed Jae, that’s what you did wrong” you whispered and planted a kiss on his forehead, knowing that he is already in deep sleep.

Present day

It been a week since the accident and you don’t know what happened but Jaehyun got his bravery back again. One night, you got home from work and you see fresh flowers in the middle of the dining table. You figured maybe Jaehyun visited while you were at work. But his intention was not to visit the place, but to help you take care of yourself. He bought grocery supplies and checked the place. He figured you didn’t have time for these because you were so busy.

One time, he knew that you were working from home and he ordered food for you. You were surprised by the sudden food delivery but nonetheless you were happy because you were starving already.

“Okay, what’s the catch?” You finally called him and thanked him for his efforts.

“I’m your husband, I’m just doing my job”

I wish you could have done this before and save our marriage, you thought.

“Hey, I know what you’re thinking. Who knows maybe I can still change your mind?” He joked but he was half serious. “Are you free on Saturday?”

“I’m not going on a date with you”

“It’s mom, she wanted to see us” Jaehyun bit his lower lip and and continued, “we should tell her the truth together. She deserves it. After that…” he let out a heavy sigh, “I’ll sign the papers. And I will be out of your life. Completely”

“We can stay as friends “ you said without hesitation. It was quiet for a moment and you can hear that he’s still at the hospital. Being the good doctor that he is.

You heard him fake a giggle, knowing all too well that what you said hurt him. “We can’t be friends Y/n. I love you too much. Still. It will take years for me to forget you,”

“Just let me love you while I still can” he added.

Before Saturday comes, Jaehyun was making incredible effort for you and if you’re being honest. You’re enjoying it. It was as if you’re newly weds again. There isn’t a day where Jaehyun makes you smile, takes care of you, drive you to work or pick you up,

One night, when the rain was incredibly strong, you prepared a warm bath for him which he liked. Memories overflowing as he takes a bath alone, he remembers many heated moments, sweet talks … and even fights.

“Okay stay still, how was your shower?” You asked him while you dry his hair with a towel.

“Could have been better if you joined me” he joke, you just laughed and hit his shoulder softly. “It was nice, thanks for preparing it for me” he said and wrapped his arms around your waist while you’re standing in between his legs. You knew what he wanted, but you cant be weak again.

“It will be cold tonight, h-how many layers do you want?” You tried avoiding his sweet kisses which eventually he gave up and answered your questions, “three please. And some thick socks, my toes are freezing”

You boop his nose and left him. Bringing back the layers he asked and the pair of socks he asked for. But by the time you got back, he was already sleeping. You were sure the moment you saw him earlier, Jaehyun was tired to the bone but he still managed to pick you up from work, show you a bright smile and well, make your day perfect. When it was your time to rest, and call it a day, after a few minutes Jaehyun joined you in your bed. This bed used to be for two people who loves each other, now its half empty Jaehyun thought.

He noticed you still sleep on your side of the bed, as if you still wait for him to come home and fill in the empty space.

“Jae,” you felt his presence and got up from your comfort, he was about to leave the room to give you privacy, “stay. sleep here, it’s cold outside”

Oh how he wish to hear those words from you to save your marriage.

He almost teared up but he didn’t show you. Instead, he lay beside you, on his side of the bed. It felt like he was home again, especially now that you’re beside him. To be honest, he’s not tired anymore, he didn’t even want to sleep again.

“Comfortable?” You asked him sweetly, pulling the blanket to cover your bodies. Now you’re face to face, and comfortable even though it’s been such a long time since you two shared this bed. The moonlight was perfectly lit in your shared room, and you can’t help but notice how his wedding ring shines because of the moonlight. But Jaehyun didn’t let you ruin the mood, he was quick to pull you closer and remove the ring while you can’t see his hand. And by the time you met eyes again, he made you laugh by saying an old joke you used to tell each other.

Time flies so fast that the sun is already up, telling everyone to start their day. But you and Jaehyun are currently meeting in your dreams right now.

UNFINISHED

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