#bc21

Author’s Note; As you may be aware I post all my one-shots and series’ on Wattpad however I sometimes put some of the same ones on here. So for the next few days I will be sharing them here too.

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POV: Ben comes home from preseason and she is waiting for him.

Contains: Mature language, Smut (18+)

Music Choice: SZA - Snooze

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Preseason was finally coming to a close.

So, Ben knew the new season was fast approaching and with the wins that they had had under their belt he was actually feeling positive about it. This was something he hadn't thought about before they all started training together again, mainly because most of his friends had moved on and he was worried that they wouldn't all gel as a team.

But ultimately he realised he had nothing to worry about for the time being.

However, the thing he loved most about the end of preseason was coming home to her.

He had missed her more than words could say and the thought of her waiting for him at home, in their bed, in his clothes, was just driving him insane.

He had all these plans for when he would get home, for all the ways he could show her and tell her how much he missed her, how much he needed her these past few weeks, how he couldn't imagine being away from her like that ever again.

But all of those plans went out of the window, the grand gestures that he thought about on the car journey home, the idea of whisking her away for a romantic dinner, maybe an overnight stay, with a spa visit, spoiling her in a public was thrown away.

The first sight of her as he walked through the door caused his brain to haze and he only thought about how he wanted to spoil her, worship her, in private, just the two of them.

The thought of putting more clothes on to go out and celebrate being reunited was no longer at the forefront of his mind, in fact he wanted to get her out of the minimal clothes she had on and take her upstairs. And that's exactly what he did.

"Hey baby" was all she could say, the end word coming out in more of a squeal as he raced towards her, pulled her body into his, lifting her off her feet as she wrapped her thighs around his waist and his lips crashed into hers.

It was desperate, longing, lust filled and no matter how much they both felt like they were practically stealing the other's air it was quickly decided that if this was the way they would both go then so be it.

He carried her upstairs, his bags, jacket, and shoes just left strewn on the floor. The drinks she had poured for them and the soft sound of the radio playing in the kitchen was all left behind as they travelled closer to their bedroom.

His hands gripped onto her ass, his fingernails digging in slightly as she finally parted from his lips, kissing down onto his neck, marking him up with every movement, sucking harshly on the soft skin under his ear as his breath hitched.

"Fucking missed you" Ben moaned out as his feet found the carpeted floor as he practically raced them to the bedroom, leaning down with her onto the bed, his lips finding hers once more.

He pulled back as he looked at the flush to her cheeks, feeling the way her hands wear holding onto the back of his neck, scratching into the longer hair that sat around the nape of his neck. He smirked as he looked at the sparkle in her eyes, the redness to her lips and on the edge of her smile from the slight stubble rash she had managed to get from how hard and fast she had been kissing his neck.

She looked so good laying underneath him.

"So beautiful" he mumbled out as she smiled at him.

"I've missed you" she told him, a comment she wanted to make when he told her it only moments before, but she was too lost in the moment to say anything then.

"Yeah?" he asks, the cockiness oozing from his voice "what did you miss baby?" he asks her as he stays leaning above her, feeling her nails dig into his neck, trying to drag his body closer to hers as she bucks her hips up slightly, trying to feel any kind of friction, yet he stays firm resting above her.

"All of you" she smirks as uses the heel of her foot that's still wrapped around his waist to dig into his back to pull his body against hers as she rolls her hips against him.

She can feel how hard he is, she could feel that the whole walk upstairs, yet she still smirks to herself as she feels him against her, knowing its only her who has that effect on him. He lets out a deep moan, he wanted to try and hold some control over himself but the way she squirms under him, and not to mention how breathtaking she looks it just makes it all the harder for him.

"Behave" he tells her as she lets out a laugh "so needy" he smirks as he leans down and kisses her lips once as she kisses him back.

He uses one arm to hold himself up, yet his other hand wanders down her body, feeling her pert nipple under his shirt that she wears. She can't hold back the light moan that leaves her lips as he rocks his own hips against hers, desperate for more.

She keeps one hand on the back of his neck, yet her other travels down his body, her fingertips teasing along his abs that she can feel under the white t-shirt. She feels all the way down to the waistband of his shorts, normally she would tease him a bit, pull the band away just to let it sting back against his hip, feeling the tightness of his erection over the material but today she just can't.

She slips her hand into his shorts and boxers in one movement, immediately reaching down to take a hold of his thick base as he breaks away from her lips.

"Fuck" he moans out as he rests his forehead against hers, his eyes looking into hers but not missing the cheeky expression on her face as she slowly starts to work him.

"Feels good?" she asks as she runs her thumb over his tip, smearing the small bead of pre-cum back down his length as she picks up the pace.

She doesn't think she will ever get over how beautiful he is, yet in moments like this when he screws his eyes up tightly as his jaw goes slack she is sure he is the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. His hand that was once brushing against her nipple now pinches it between his finger and thumb as he finds himself bucking forward into her touch.

"Shit – yeah" he moans out as he struggles to get the words out as she keeps her grip firm and hard upon him as his eyes shoot open once more "baby if you don't stop I'm gonna cum".

She smiles at him "so cum for me then" she goads him as he moans again.

He can feel the pressure inside of him, but he tries his hardest to not cum so quickly "wanna fuck you though" he tells her as his head slips into the crease of her neck, breathing heavily at the feeling.

She digs her nails into the back of his neck as she turns her head slightly to talk directly into his ear "want you to cum first, then I want you to fuck me all night long" she smirks as she hears him moan at her words "missed you so much, I can't make myself cum like you can, so be a good boy and cum for me now so you can then make me cum".

Ben is sure that her mouth has gotten filthier since he's been away. He always knows whenever they are apart for a while that she gets like this but right now its like she knows all the words to say to get him to be like putty in her hands, literally.

"Fuck baby" he tells her as she feels him start to twitch in her hand "where do you want it?" he asks her as he bites down on her neck.

She smirks "wherever you want baby, just wanna taste you" she tells him as he groans before lifting his head out of her neck.

"Top off" he tells her as he reaches for his own shorts, dragging them down as she lets go off him momentarily as he picks up her pace.

She pulls the top off her body, leaving her naked from the waist up as her eyes go back to the way he works himself now, the flush to his cheeks prominent as he positions himself over her waist now, straddling her as she smirks at him.

"Push them together" he chokes out as he feels himself about to tip over the edge.

She smiles as she reaches for her boobs, pushing them together, knowing that this is one of his favourite ways to finish as she lays looking all doe eyed waiting for him as he curses under his breath as the first shot of cum shoots out his dick and paints her chest, as more and more follows.

Her name was moaned out from his lips as he slowly came down from his high, his eyes looking down at her as she slowly let's go of her boobs but instead of reaching for a tissue to wipe herself up she brings her cum coated fingers up to her mouth, sucking them in between her lips as he groans once more at the sight beneath him.

She smiles as she pulls them back out of her mouth "so you wanna play with me all night long or do you just wanna call it a night and snooze?" she asks him as he smirks at her.

"What do you think?" he says as he shifts back off her hips, pulling her underwear and resting himself between her thighs, still breathing deeply from his previous orgasm as he looks up at her.

His cum still coating her boobs, her fingers slowly tracing over the lines and bringing them up to her lips as her eyes look down at him. There is certainly no way he's missing out on this moment.

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POV: Follow on from 'Love You Goodbye'

Contains: Fluff

Music Choice: One Direction - Moments

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I wake up in this familiar room, in this familiar bed, feeling that familiar weight pressed against my back as that tattooed arm wraps around me, inhaling that familiar smell.

I look towards the end of the bed, the pile of my clothes sits there, reminding me of last night.

My mind goes back.

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He shut the door behind us, he pulled me back into his arms, back onto his lips. Clothes were off, thrown to the bottom of the bed, discarded, not needed, wanting to be with one another. Trembling hands touched skin, hearts beating faster, thoughts rushing through both of our heads.

I replayed Ben's words in my head as he kissed me 'if tomorrow you won't be mine.' I think to myself if we could only have this life for one more day then I want to be with him, I want to feel his love, I want to lay beside him and wake up in the morning next to him. If we only get this moment, this last moment together, then I will take it.

I feel my knees touch the edge of Ben's bed before I feel myself start to fall, he goes with me and we laugh together, his body still on top of mine, my hands still holding his face to me.

I look into his eyes, I can see behind the glimmer and lust the pain that sits deep within them, within mine too. Should we really be doing this if its over?

Ben stands and shuts the blinds, as I move up the bed. He blocks out that cloudy night's sky, not wanting to be seen, wanting to keep it just us tonight, shut away in this room, holding on to what we had. When his body finds mine again its like they are connected by magnets, no space found between the two of us, moving together as one.

Our bodies rocked together for what felt like forever, time completely escaping me tonight, just focused on him. Moans and deep breaths echoed the room yes, however the best, yet worst memory I have is the way our lips said 'I love you' to one another over and over again, wondering if I will ever hear that voice say it again.

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The feeling of Ben breathing on the back of my neck is something that I never appreciated before this moment, the way his chest rises and falls, pushing against my back. The way his hand grips onto my arm in his sleep, holding onto me even then.

I lay here for what feels like only seconds but looking at the clock has been hours. Realising there isn't enough time in the world to say goodbye to him. Knowing the second I leave here I will be crushed, heartbroken, unable to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

I wish I could turn back time, I wish I could take back everything that we ever said or did to hurt one another, the words that left our lips during those arguments, screaming out my lungs at him, making my voice numb. How stupid was I?

I wish he could know how I would have and still would do anything for him, he is my life, he is my whole reason to be, he is the only thing in this world that matters to me. He is my love, my forever love, he has every single inch of my heart in his hands all day every day, he is capable of loving me and he is also capable of breaking me. And yet here I was laying with him, knowing the words he said, that this was just a means of saying goodbye. I shouldn't have stayed last night.

I know it felt right at the time, but the fallout from this will be so much worse than if it didn't happen. Knowing I will never get to hold him, wake up next to him, kiss those lips again, I can't bear to think about.

Ben stirs next to me as I move slightly too, his arm moved from my body, instantly feeling the disconnect, instantly feeling cold, feeling alone.

"Good morning" he says

"Morning" I say with a shy smile.

He turns to look at his phone "Fuck" he shouts as he sits up "I have some promo stuff at Chels this morning, in like 30minutes"

He rushes from the bed to the shower, "Sorry, I'll just be a minute" he shouts and like that he is gone.

I get up slowly from his bed, get myself dressed, remake the bed, the way I used to, and take a last glimpse around the room. I go to walk towards the door but its like my feet go numb, wanting to stay, but not welcome anymore.

I head down the stairs, to the front door and open it, press open my car and start to take some of my boxes and bags outside. Doing this on my own, the way it will be now. When I have just about finished, I head back inside to see Ben coming down the stairs.

"Where did you..." he starts saying before seeing the bags gone "oh" he says.

"You said you needed to go so I didn't want to keep you waiting" I said again the same shy smile, hiding the heartbreak inside.

"Shit, sorry" he says, running his hand through his hair "I got caught up in the moment upstairs, would you believe me if I said it felt like a normal day, before this" he said pointed at us "like when I would normally rush out of bed, sort stuff out, you'd make yourself breakfast, I'd kiss you goodbye and you'd be here waiting for me to come home" he smiled at me "I'm so sorry, I don't want you to think I wasn't...." he starts then stops "Look I don't want you to ...." he starts again and then stops "Fuck, I'm really messing this up" he slumps down on the stairs, sitting, looking down at his feet.

I stand just watching him, breathing him in before he looks up at me and starts again.

"I'm trying to find the words to say what I mean" he says.

"You don't need to try with me Ben, just say" I stand opposite him.

"Okay" he starts "So to start with I'm sorry for this morning, fuck I'm sorry for everything that happened between us, but let me just talk about now" I smile at him "I fucked up, I shouldn't have left you alone in that bed and rushed out the way I did, if I'm being honest it felt so normal having you here, but also something I've been dreaming about since you left, waking up with you in my arms" he says "When I got into that bathroom I knew I made a mistake but I panicked, I didn't want you to think I was going to make you stay, I already forced you to last night" I frown "but I don't know what you want, that's me being honest, we said this was over and I think that's what you want but to be truthful, it's not what I want" he looks down and then back up "I don't want to be without you, I don't want to spend a minute or a second of any day not having you in my life, not loving you"

He stands now "I have been fucking miserable since you left, everything reminding me of you" he points around "All the memories we have together, everywhere I go I see you. So, when you said about your things being here, I thought I'd pack them for you, make it easier on you as you wouldn't want to spend that much time with me, but that killed me, packing away our relationship into a few boxes and bags. And when you turned up yesterday, I couldn't help myself, I couldn't not spend the night with you, that may be selfish I know but I had to take my shot"

He moves closer towards me "I had a whole speech planned out yesterday of what I was going to say to you, but everything changed when I saw you, I couldn't find the words, I just missed you so much. Then when you fell asleep in my arms last night, I spoke the whole speech through quietly in my head, planning on telling you this morning when we woke how I truly felt, but then I screwed up again" he runs his hand through his hair "When you weren't in the bedroom. I thought I'd come down here and tell you what I've been trying to say, what you mean to me, tell you that there is no one else in this world for me, that I love you more than words could possibly even say, I could stand in front of you and talk for days and it still wouldn't come close to how much I love you, you are my everything, you are my whole life, you are the reason for all my happiest days, all my favourite memories and all my future dreams" he stops in front of me "and I just thought I needed to tell you before you leave me today"

I look down at my hands, once trembling now still, I look back up at Ben. Unable to think of how to talk to him anymore, consumed with all the information.

I reach down and take his hand "I don't want to be without you either" I look into his eyes "I don't know how we got to this but I know if we both love each other the way I know we do, we shouldn't let this go" he squeezes my hand as I speak "I love you so much"

He wraps an arm around me "I love you so much more" he smirks.

"This" I say laughing "this is the reason for the arguments, too competitive" I smirk.

"I'm sorry, I'll let you win more" he winks at me before kissing me.

"Also" I say breaking away from our kiss "you didn't force me to stay the night, I would stay here forever if I could"

"Then do that, don't ever leave here" he says, kissing my nose.

"So, I'm trapped forever?" I smile at him.

"I'll close the door and throw away the key, just you and me forever baby" he kisses me again.

"Aren't you going to be late?" I say pulling away from his lips.

POV: You go and pick your stuff up from your Ex Ben's house.

Contains: Fluff, Angst

Music Choice: One Direction – Love You Goodbye

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It had been 3 weeks since our argument, words said that we can't take back, too much distance created between us now to repair what we once had. Both of us wrong, both of us right, both too stubborn to apologise to one another.

We had decided that it was time to call time on us, both unsure of what the future holds. Its impossible to know if after all that we have been through we can still be friends? I couldn't keep going round this merry-go-round that we were on. Hurting one another was the last thing I wanted to do yet it kept happening, it never changes, it just gets better for a while and then we dip back into this cycle.

Its like they say everything that's good comes to an end.

I had been out with my family and lost track of time, knowing I was meant to be heading to Ben's to pick up the last of my bits as planned. I jump into my car, still dressed in today's dress, a strappy blue dress that skims against my thighs, a denim jacket and some Nikes and I make the short drive to Ben's house. A chance to say goodbye, face to face, no arguments. Then we would go our separate ways.

When I get here, I can see he has the front door open ready for me. I get out of the car and make my way inside the place that was my home.

"Hey" I call out shutting the door behind me. I hear the echo around the rooms, the silence in the once happy and warm house.

"Hey" I hear as I see the familiar figure appear down the staircase. His hair messy, his stubble a little bit longer, a tight fitted white tee and some grey lounge shorts.

I smile at the sight of him, he looks incredible, he always did, but when he is dressed like that, he makes me just want to wrap my arms round him. I need to stay strong.

"Thanks for letting me come by" I say, keeping eye contact with him.

"You don't need to thank me" he laughs "its practically your house, you are welcome whenever, you know that" he says with a faint smile.

"Have you been out somewhere nice?" Ben continues, gesturing to my outfit.

"Ah yeah, family lunch, overran a little bit so didn't have time to get changed" I remark

"You look good, that's always been my favourite dress of yours" he smiles.

I think to myself about when I wore it last and it hits me, it was when we went Ibiza and he planned for us to go on a yacht trip at night, to watch the sunset, have dinner and just be together. We ended up making love on the deck looking out at sea. That was this dress, why did I wear this today? I hadn't even thought about it when I threw it on in a rush this morning.

I can feel a little bit of tension in the room, aware that Ben was probably replaying exactly what I was, seeing the way his tongue licked his lips, making me do the same. I break the silence.

"Is that all my stuff?" I say pointing towards a neatly piled collection of boxes and bags.

"Yeah, I think its most of it, I'm not sure" he says scratching the back of his head.

I walk over to the pile and lean down, looking through the top bag, a selection of clothes sit on the top and then underneath the scrapbook Ben made for me. I reach inside and pick it up, flicking through a few of the pages.

The love we had would always be unforgettable, it was a love only we could understand. It looked perfect from the outside, it was like we almost held the whole world in our hands, before we let it slip, before the world came crashing down around us. I see our smiling faces in the pictures, the tickets and wristbands from the events we had been to, the love letters Ben had written me that I had kept in here too. All the places we have been, all the nights we have had. My heart is well and truly breaking, I don't know how much longer I can stay in here before I crack.

"Some good memories" his voice sounds from behind.

I stand to my feet "There sure was" I smile at him.

"Do you want some help taking it to the car, or do you think you can stay for a drink or something?" Ben rambles, feeling as nervous as I am.

"Urm, I'd love the help, I mean, I could possibly stay for just a quick drink, I guess" I say.

He smiles and I do too, we both reach down for the boxes and bags, practically bumping into one another, nearly knocking me off my feet. Ben wraps his arms around me to steady me. His lips inches away from me, his eyes looking into mine as I feel his fingers keeping contact with my skin. I lick my lips as I breathe him in. He leans towards me, and his lips touch mine so delicately, so gently.

He pulls back and I lean forward to him, this time my lips connecting with his with more force, more passion. Just one more taste of his lips to bring back those memories, those feelings. My hands wrap around him as he tangles his hand in my hair keeping me close to him. When we pull away from our kiss, we are both breathless, foreheads touching, hands still holding each other.

I look up at him as his eyes lock with mine before he speaks.

"I know that this is over, I know we said we would let each other go but please, stay the night" he whispers to me "if tomorrow you won't be mine, then at least let me have all of you one last time, let me remember the feeling of making love to you, holding your body close to me, waking up next to you" He kisses my lips once "At least we could end it right"