#bbau2013

For the past 3 months I have been a faithful viewer of Big Brother Australia 2013. It was recommended by a friend, and after the first episode, I was hooked. I was watching the daily shows through various youtube channels. The fact that I was doing this from my bedroom in Los Angeles only enhanced  this shameless guilty pleasure. I was grateful that it was on 5 nights a week and disappointed that the Friday night episodes were the shortest. I was engulfed in a different culture and it was entertainment. One of the most intriguing and endearing houseguest’s was a man named Ben. Ben is a 30 year old unemployed flight attendant who lives in Brisbane, Australia. Ben is gay and was raised in government subsidized housing by a single mother. His mother and Nana are his best friends. He enjoys music that seems to be equivalent to Donny and Marie Osmond. He likes wearing pajamas whenever he can, has struggled with depression, enjoys shopping at Target, hates working out, doesn’t know how to cook, and was very particular about his bed. He made me laugh, he made me cry, he was inspiring, thoughtful, insightful, humorous, honest, sincere, and hopeful. Ben had a difficult time adjusting to the house and his insecurities would hinder his socialization and he was always honest about this. He was eventually evicted but returned as a surprise guest during a particular challenge where he reflected on the difficult time in the house saying, “I knew it was helping because I was being challenged and whenever you are being challenged you know that you’re growing and you’re learning.” He made me realize the importance of testing yourself and gradually adding more to your plate. The most recent time I was challenged, I grew and succeeded beyond my expectations. However, I find myself becoming complacent in my new restaurant job and lacking a sense of stimulation. I’m getting bored and ok with just scraping by. However, that is not what I need. Like Ben said, whenever you are being challenged, you know that you’re growing and you’re learning. I want to grow and I want to learn. I need to step up my game, light the mother fucking fire up my ass and go. Something is stopping me. There is some barrier, something I cannot get through to keep my stamina. I feel its strain. If I am not forced to be challenged, I will not challenge myself. I need to break the hymen and go through. I need to find the motivation, or what is going to force me. I need a new environment. I need a goal and a focus.

PS: So far it looks like Ed and Jade are still trying to work out whatever it is they have outside the house ;-) Drew and Tully are also together - but is Jasmin Tim's New Tail? LOL

Drew from big brother aus 2013 mmm so dreamy