#baypen

but he'd spotted a specific face in the crowd mid-speech, momentarily fumbling over his words and recovering with a swift joke, and that's who he looks for now. he's never sure if he should expect rust at a party like this, so when he sees him, it's hard not to assume that it's for him. maybe it's presumptuous, considering most people really are here for him, but — there's really only one person that would make that feel like a victory for him, and he's here, in a crowd that cole may typically not get the chance to talk to him directly. it's his party, though, so he doesn't hold himself back from walking up directly to @baypen, charming grin on his face, the other guests of the party forgotten as soon as he's face to face with him.

@baypen 💬 "i never not wanted you."

that doesn't mean he's not still paying attention, rolling his eyes as he hears one of his peers yell that matt's fighting someone. of course he is, and cole feels an instinctual responsibility to stop it (because it's always up to him to keep his friends in line, isn't it? but he clearly hasn't done a good job of that lately, and... when has matt ever really listened to him, anyway?) he tells himself not to pay attention to it, some part of him expecting this to be some desperate attempt from matt to get cole's attention in the first place, but then —

"redneck rust is gonna kill him! he's fucking crazy!"

cole's head shoots up the same way it always does when he hears the nickname, but his stomach drops as he processes the rest of the words, learning who matt's fighting. or rather.... rust is fighting him?

he follows in the direction everyone's attention is, trying to piece together what's going on from the other comments his peers are making around him. he shoves people out of his way until he sees the two boys on the floor — matt so small compared to rust that cole can barely make him out, all he can see is ruston on top of him, punching him, seemingly no end in sight. his stomach drops, eyes shooting up to tucker nearby, who gives him an innocent shrug that says 'what am i supposed to do?' janet's next to him, filming, surely satisfied to see matt get his face punched in. and ronnie, next to her, seems to be attempting to coach matt from the sidelines, and doing it poorly.

and no one seems willing to stop @baypen.

"rust!" he yells, desperately trying to assess the situation. he's always made it clear to his friends that rust is off limits from the pranks, and while he doesn't expect matt of all people to spare rust, he can't ignore what's happening in front of him, mind drifting back to what cole had told rust recently, how frustrated he was with his friends and how awful they were making him feel, and he felt bad for how he talked about them, but he trusted rust with it. trusted that he wouldn't do anything. and some logical part of him knows that he wouldn't, but — all he can think now is that he's hitting matt because of what cole said, and that makes him feel sick.

it's not so easy to fall into this role when he sees @baypen — he'd thought this was a safe place away from him, where he didn't have to think about rust catching him doing something he technically is allowed to do, yet it still feels wrong if rust witnesses it, suddenly all too aware of eyes on him — especially when it feels like rust is doing it intentionally, like he's trying to give him some kind of message.

which just makes cole feel shame, stuck between wanting to tell rust to just leave and wanting to beg rust to leave with him, because now that he knows he's here, he can't think of anything else — so much so that he's only just now realizing that mikayla hasn't been by his side in a while now. maybe if he were a better boyfriend, catching her across the room with her supposed nemesis would make him step in and save her from it, but selfishly, he's only thinking about how this is an opportunity to figure out where the fuck rust went.

he starts to wonder through the house, trying to prepare for how he'll greet him when he does find him, because he can't outright admit he was looking for him, but there's a part of him that wants rust to know it anyway. he's also aware that rust could've left by now, but cole's determined to check every corner of this house until he knows for sure, because he won't be able to calm down until he gets some interaction with rust tonight, like he'll be able to squash the misplaced guilt if he does.

the attached photo of cole grinning was probably unnecessary — but even in his current state,   cole’s aware that his series of messages were probably enough to concern someone as protective as he thinks rust is,   and he didn’t actually want to scare him.   cole’s fine,   he’s just had enough of ed’s impromptu barn party and his current company that he needed to get out,  and it’s not just that he knows rust is a reliable DD without any proper preparation — it’s that he wanted to see rust.  

@baypen ➡️ [GUIDE] in the process of guiding the receiver through a crowded place, the sender’s hand protectively grazes against the small of their back.

he planned to wait for rust outside,  but he’d gotten distracted— so much so that when he sees rust in the crowd,   his face lights up like he’s surprised he’s here,   until he gets closer and rust is ushering him out of the party.     he doesn’t complain,   especially when he feels rust’s hand on his back,   his own hand immediately sliding into the pocket of rust’s jacket and walking with rust as if this is his boyfriend,  and this happens all the time — maybe,  in a world where cole could actually let that happen.

with a reaction like this to rust returning home, it would seem like rust had been gone for days, weeks, years — not just a few hours, but it felt like much longer than that when cole knew who he was with. logically, he knows he doesn't have to worry about rust being interested in anyone but him — he spent most of his life waiting to be with cole — but cole can't ever quite shake the thought that someday, rust might see cole as a burden, a bigger risk than anything he'd be better off letting go of instead of holding onto, finally resenting him for all the pain rust has had to endure because of who cole was.

it doesn't help that perry looks like that and seems to be the perfect kind of guy for rust. sure, maybe just as a friend, but cole had spent all day ready to remind rust that he's got so much love waiting for him at home.