#bayernmunichbrides

Basic Information

Appearance: João has the body of an average football/soccer player, tall and muscular, with his skin being a rather light tan. His hair is a rather dark brown, slicked to the side. Clothing-wise he wears a red visor (?) while sporting a black bandanna around his neck, with a red jacket with a sort of black vest with red highlights on it. He also wears black pants secured by white leg armor that starts at the thigh, going down to his knees until it reaches to the ankle. His shoes consist of laceless cleats that are snug by the leg armor. Height: 6'0"/182.8 cm

From what I can imagine, I can see a very coherent character design. There is a clear color palette defined with the red and black. The white leg armor came as a surprise but I think it does nicely to shake things up. Perhaps the biggest issue is that this is Reaper’s color scheme, and the casual body + visor + leg armor poses a resemblance to Lucio’s get up. 

While the smaller details can’t be defined yet as this is a written description, the silhouette he would pose would be noticeably Lucio.

Consider distributing the armor to more parts of the body, such as the shoulders or hands. Put some white too on the jacket and vest, if you don’t plan on changing the palette. If you do, use whatever color the leg armor is.

Here’s an idea. As he is a soccer player, his leg armor can emphasize the knee and ankle areas, as these are the focuses of action in his kind of sport. In soccer, you are typically manipulating your knees and ankles to deliver precise shots with the force of your kicks. As such, the armor can serve to protect these areas as well as, in some way, enhance his ability to move these particular joints. The resulting design should deviate from Lucio’s and create something more distinct, more João.

(Here’s a photo reference: pre01.deviantart.net/b334/th/p…) Full Name: João Luis Valente Torres Name explanation: In Portugal, people usually have two names and two surnames that come from both the mother and father, however they can have up to four surnames but this is less common. Callsign: João (pronunciation: /sh-oh-ah-oh/) Callsign explanation: In football/soccer, players are usually given names that come from a part of their real name (Neymar, Messi, Ronaldo). In his case, it originated from his first name, and he prefers to be called by that.

The name and callsign explanations are very interesting! I like the implementation of common practices from his country and profession. It really grounds him into the reality of Overwatch Earth.

Age: 27 Sex/Gender: Male Sexuality/Romance: Biromantic heterosexual Nationality: Portuguese Ethnicity: Caucasian (little darker because of the sun) Languages: Portuguese, English, and Spanish Base of Operations: Vila Nova de Gaia, Portugal (birthplace), Oerias, Portugal and Chamartín, Madrid, Spain (switches depending on who he plays for) Occupation: Professional athlete turned street vigilante Affiliations: Portugal national football team

Gamewise: Health: 200 Armor: 0 Shields: 0 Role: Offense

Weapons: (I’m not the best at making weapons so they’re still kind of a work in progress…) Primary attack: Goalscorer Short-to-mid range submachine gun

Type: Semi-automatic projectile Damage: 12-15 HP Falloff range: 11-20 meters Ammo: 20 Headshot: ✓ Ability I: Finesse Shot A ball-shaped bomb that João will kick at an enemy, exploding on impact.

Type: Splash projectile Damage: 100 HP Cooldown: 5 seconds Headshot: ✕

Suppose the bomb doesn’t hit any enemy. Does it still explode on impact(with walls and other surfaces), or does it get to bounce around before exploding? Does it have a set time before detonation?

Ability II: Beautiful Game João will maneuver the ball around the area/map before shooting it at any enemies. Some examples of tricks include step-overs, feints, and the chop kick.

Duration: 6-8 seconds Damage: 100-150 HP Cooldown: 10 seconds Headshot: ✕

Now this ability is a little vague. Is this the ball shaped bomb from before? What does it mean to “maneuver”? Is he moving the ball around like what soccer players do? (I am, sadly, unfamiliar with soccer’s technical terms.) How would he do these tricks? Do they activate automatically as the player moves around or does the player get a chance to play whatever trick?

Whatever it is, it definitely has me thinking. It sounds like a very unique ability that can put anyone on edge, or simply have them running for dear life.

Ultimate Ability: Hand of God Similar to Diego Maradona during the 1986 World Cup, João will kick up a mind-altering bomb and hit it with his hand, releasing a stream of light and sound that stuns enemies. Ultimate quote: “Cuidado, isso vai explodir sua mente.” (Translation: “Careful, this will blow your mind.”)

Type: Stun projectile Maximum range: 10 meters Duration: 2 seconds

Love this. It’s like a more potent Flashbang. 

Passive: Second Wind The more tricks João will do, the more the ball will charge, creating better damage.

So, does this refer to Beautiful Game’s ball? Is that why the damage is set at 100 with a maximum of 150? This ability gets better and better.

Signature quote: “It’s more than just a game.”

Lore Wise: Bio (short): A soccer star now living in the high life from the slums of his homeland, João will surely never forget about his past.

Raised in the slum towns of Vila Nova de Gaia, João dreamed of becoming a star so he could make his and his family’s lives better, even if it meant playing with a makeshift ball in the streets with other boys who had the same dreams. Then one day, after following a ball into an alleyway held by a group of gang members and almost risking his life, he was saved by the works of Strike Commander Jack Morrison after spotted with a gun to his head. And after that moment, João found what he wanted to do: protect the world from bad, using his skills from the beautiful game. After hard work, and with blood, sweat, and tears, João was scouted by a football manager and was finally going to become a professional soccer player, his dreams were finally going to come true. However, while he was playing in different countries all over the world, he saw people who were living in the same conditions that he was going through. Appalled by this, he remembered how Jack Morrison had defended him, a poor child at the time.

With help from a childhood friend who became an engineer, he vowed to protect both his country and the world from the bad of the world, so the things that happened to him as a child would never happen to anyone again.

Now this is a very Overwatch-esque backstory. The concept of “being inspired to be a hero Overwatch needs” lives in this. I like the little added detail of his engineer friend, which just goes on to explain his whole “having guns and bombs” thing. Which really gets overlooked by most bios.

Bio (full): After the Omnic Crisis, Portugal had laid in ruins, similar to most countries in Europe, and relied on their people to come back to what it once was. One factor that had helped Portugal was the sport of football/soccer. The fame of Portuguese soccer stars, old and new who had the power to spread awareness of the conditions of their home countries, had helped socially and economically for the country (alongside factors such as tourism and large Portuguese corporations), however, the process took time, but it worked like magic.

The influence of footballers gave children the thoughts of once becoming someone like them, rich and famous, somebody who could escape from the poverty of their surroundings. And João was no exception. — Born in a rather large family, João was raised in poverty where it was almost impossible to get food onto the table, but still had hope that one day he would escape from these conditions. As a child, João had idolized some of the greatest football players, such as international superstars like Pele and homegrown heroes such as Luis Figo and Cristiano Ronaldo, and wanted to be just like them. So it was certainly no surprise that he wanted to become the best footballer in the world.

Then one day, everything would change. While he was playing football, the ball had gone into an alleyway, and João had made the mistake of following it. What he didn’t know was that there was an extremely dangerous street gang hanging in the same exact area. When he stumbled into the alley, he was immediately confronted by the gang, who were almost about to take his life if it wasn’t for the strike commander of Overwatch, who stepped in and fought the gang while little João was watching. And when the gang was gone and the smoke was cleared, the commander walked up to João and handed him what he was looking for. And that moment had certainly left a mark on him that would follow him forever.

Years after the incident as a teenager, João was scouted by manager at a prestigious football club, and immediately signed him to the club. Reluctant to leave his hometown since he would have to be separated by his family and friends, he was eventually pressured by his family, especially by his mother because she didn’t want her son to grow up and live in the same conditions that she was living in and he chose to go. Life in the club was a completely different landscape for him, as he wasn’t used something like a group training and playing for a team of people that were also scouted. And with his new career, he played in continental club competitions, and became close friends with his teammates, and eventually was placed into the national team. Though with his fame came setbacks.

As a footballer, João would usually go to other parts of the world, usually for exhibition matches. Though most things wouldn’t stand out to him, he was disgusted when he saw the conditions that some people had to live in, sometimes even seeing slums similar to the ones that he had called home. He wanted to put a stop to this, but the problem was, he didn’t know how.

During one of his off seasons, João had decided to go back to Vila Nova de Gaia and catch up with friends and family, and while he was there discovered through rumors that his childhood friend Alejandro had become a engineer and was working on something for an unknown vigilante, who he later found out was João himself. Surprisingly non-reluctant to take on the task, João now uses his spare time to protect his country from bad dudes with his soccer skills, but when you’re full-time job is being a professional, it’s simple.

I love this backstory. It’s well thought out and well written. It connects with the Omnic Crisis, and goes through João’s personal history while being succinct. It is simple, relevant, and comprehensive enough. 

My issue would be with Strike Commander Jack Morrison’s deus ex machina. Now while he is pretty darn good at being unexpected and fighting baddies, this isn’t Soldier 76 yet. He has a job to be attending to, which means there ought to be a reason why he’s in Portugal. You might remedy this by making subtle remarks at Overwatch’s active presence in the country.

Current time: Around the time João made his promise, he was fighting a group of gang members when a man in a Tactical Visor began to join in, supporting him, surprisingly. After the battle was over, however, the man quickly left but stared back at João for a few seconds before scurrying away. João knows that in his heart, that was Jack Morrison, who had wanted to see him again.

Also, fantastic job at relating him with Jack. While he (somewhat) has a relationship with Jack, Jack remains a separate entity. He doesn’t do anything out of character while being there just enough to be worth mentioning.

Personality: João is known for is being calm and collected, keeping himself under control in and out of the pitch. Though whenever he is given the ball, he becomes fun and energetic and shows a creativity not shown by other players. Because of this, he was seen as the future torchbearer of Portuguese football prodigies, and he is well respected in the football community.

Though how João behaves depends on who he interacts with. With people he’s more used to be around, such as teammates and family members, he’s more open with them and can strike conversations. But if some guy he first met on the street comes up to him and starts praising him as some sort of a god, he will become extremely uncomfortable and excuse himself from the situation. Basically, you have to get to know him a lot in order to get personal with him. And occasionally, performance anxiety can get to him, and he begins to act a tad bit arrogant. He’s been working on that.

I would suppose being a famous footballer would mean he’d gain a following, and having someone come up to him and declare him their god wouldn’t be an uncommon occurrence, and that he’d be used to it some way or another. But ‘s’all fine! He could use some more flaws in my opinion.

Relations: Jack Morrison (Soldier 76) - role model After the incident between him and the street gang as a child, João has looked up to him ever since, even through the peak of his football career, so when he found out that Jack Morrison had been killed, he was extremely devastated. He could no longer get the chance to meet the man that changed his world. But he believes that Morrison is still alive, though, as someone as powerful as him couldn’t just go away from the world.

Alejandro Vicente Nunes Garcia (Alejandro) - friend João’s lifelong friend since childhood, who used to always play football with him. Originally, they had both wanted to become professional footballers together but Alejandro left and became an engineer. Ever since he helped created the things João uses, they’ve become as close as ever. They usually tease each other but also have a mutual respect towards each other.

Lúcio Correia dos Santos (Lúcio) - friend João and Lúcio both share a strong passion for football, which has increased their friendship. They also like to crack jokes, especially about people asking if they speak Brazilian, however, they have yet to try to talk to each other in Portuguese themselves since they speak it in different ways.

Jamison Fawkes (Junkrat) - friend Junkrat’s crazy temper balances with Joao’s calm and collected manner, and that helped them become friends very quickly. Junkrat’s obsession with explosives has gotten him to ask João all about the explosives that he uses, and maybe a little bit too much on Alejandro.

Hana Song (D.Va) - friend Both he and D.Va have similar personalities and a love for video games. Occasionally, they’d play a few video games together in their free time, and he’d make an appearance in a stream or two. But he could be a little conscious since he’s afraid she might develop a crush of some sort.

Satya Vaswani (Symmetra) - acquaintance Even hearing from what Lúcio has said about Symmetra, João doesn’t hold any grudge against her since she never did anything to him. He’d actually like to know more about her, but there’s something about her that makes him feel suspicious…

Strengths: As a sort of attacker, he is speedy and agile, similar to other offense heroes such as Tracer and Genji, and with that can run at fast lengths for a period of time and get away from the fire line, and with his strength can push his way through opponents who are smaller than him.

Weaknesses: João usually makes quick decisions, which could turn into assumptions and could land him into a situation that he would rather stay out of. A recent discovery that João doesn’t like to tell people is that sometimes the lines between love and lust will blur, hence why he doesn’t like getting into romantic relationships.

Likes: João enjoys teamwork and working with other people to get them better. Though most usually would assume that João is an avid spender who throws extravagant parties (like most footballers), behind all of those assumptions he’s actually pretty chill and enjoys Fado music and looking at the nightlife.

Dislikes: Even if he dislikes people disrespecting Portuguese football legends and random strangers who over-glorify him, what he hates most is people who refuse to make themselves better. Oh, and for some reason he doesn’t like to enter and exit rooms with his left foot, he claims it’s bad luck.

Tiny little dislikes like these give them more character than any thing about disliking “generic bad dudes”. It makes them more human and tangible.

Hobbies: One thing that João loves to do is throw himself onto the couch and play video games, but other than that his live is like that of a relatively normal soccer player, training sessions, a few games here and there, and spending down time with his friends and family when he has the time to do it.

Is he “in” with the fans? He’s got to have a following somehow. Does he maintain social networking accounts? Does he hold events? What do his fans say about him when he’s outside the field?

These aren’t really critical questions. I’m just curious, lol. Superstars with a real, intimate connection with their fanbases are some of the best people you can run into. Not saying he should be the totally rad footballer star, but, you know, it’d be totally rad.

Extra: n/a

(Thanks for spending time to review my character. All help is appreciated :> )

And thank you for waiting. Once again I am sorry I kept it down for like, a month or something? Apologies too for the rest in line. Still haven’t forgotten ‘em.

Verdict:

Let me just say, this character is undoubtedly a favorite. They’re concise, comprehensive, and detailed while maintaining a sense of brevity. They’re succinct, and overall well fleshed out. They strike me as particularly unique and interesting.

Design, however, is perhaps the heaviest weight to talk about. The design, with all its similarities, fails to induce a feeling of uniqueness. I don’t feel like I’m imagining a unique character. The colors could certainly be diversified and lightened up. Red, white, and black is quite common as a palette. Portuguese footballers tend to be dressed mostly in red, but they also bear livelier colors like green and yellow. Keep this in mind. As for the overall design, he could use sleek body armor, since he plays a more offensive role with his aggressive ball tactics and close range weapon.

Gameplay wise, I spotted quite a number of vague details. They were lacking too much information to be any clear to me, or anyone, really. It’s wise to define at the beginning what you are referring to as the main object of the ability. A little flavor text about Alejandro’s bombs would be appreciated, though not entirely necessary.

Everything else, from backstory to personality, is absolutely striking. This OC really scored a goal on me :P. It was fun and driving to read on his history and demeanor. While there were some cases where it fell short for me, I feel the rest of the story held up. I found the Likes and Dislikes bit a little lacking for me. You could keep going back to his home country for these things, and it would be totally fine. As for Hobbies, you could build up more on his gaming behavior. Does he play soccer games, particularly ones where he can play himself?

In conclusion, your footballer is a real star. Can I have his autograph?