Yeah, that’s it! Thanks for being awesome and sending ships you don’t also ship haha

Which half of your OTP:

likes to go on drives to nowhere in particular: Alfred is a born-and-bred road-tripper so he goes on like, actual fun drives to nowhere, while Ivan might take a backroads drive if he’s stressed out and wants to clear his head (his car is a piece of shit too, he’s probably had it since the Soviet days)

is in charge of the radio or playlist in the car (and what do they play)? Alfred loves showing Ivan whatever new music he’s discovered lately. I also think Ivan’s music taste might be a bit old-fashioned and Alfred refuses to allow Tchaikovsky in his car when classic rock sing-alongs are available

is more likely to hog the bed: despite being the smaller of the two, Alfred. So so much.

favors lazy morning sex: Ivan, though Alfred is more down when it’s cold out and neither wants to get out of bed

likes to drink their coffee or tea outside in the mornings: Alfred, but only in the summertime

reads the paper or watches the news: Ivan reads the paper, Alfred watches TV news

feeds and takes care of the stray cat that hangs around the house (and pretty much makes it not a stray): Alfred seems more likely to befriend random animals, but Ivan seems like more of a cat person so it’s a toss-up

chooses the color of paint for the walls: Alfred gets ONE wall to paint an obnoxious colour. The rest will be sensible colours like a nice off-white, thank you very much

comes home with the weirder work stories: I mean… given the state the US government is in…

takes long baths: Ivan, but Alfred takes longer showers

has the full skin care routine: Alfred is a little more vain generally, but I think it’s his hair that he spends the most time on

gives the other a massage when they seem tense: Ivan, and he’s much better at them than Alfred. They’re both so strong though that they probably don’t give massages to other people much, if ever, it’d be too easy not to be gentle enough for someone they didn’t know as well as they know each other

is more easily turned on: depends on the situation I think, but Ivan is better at hiding it

prefers to kick back with a drink in the evenings: Not to make light of Russian alcoholism but I do think Ivan is a somewhat heavy drinker. Alfred also likes a good cold beer now and then

stays up too late reading: Alfred is more likely to stay up watching TV than reading but sometimes it is books 

I LOVE IT

SAME

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battlenuggalope

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three reminds me of a mermaid

Thanks! Like the last one, this is a human AU for obvious reasons

Which half of your OTP:

likes to go on drives to nowhere in particular: Phos likes Exploring (and Cinnabar likes spacing out staring out the window so they come along even if they don’t talk much)

is in charge of the radio or playlist in the car (and what do they play)? they need like an incredibly elaborate system of determining whose turn it is because they both have Very Strong Opinions on music that don’t tend to line up all that much. Phos’ music is all over the place genre-wise, and Cinnabar listens to a lot of emo and metal (I also like the idea of them being really into folk metal specifically?? not sure why it just seems to fit)

reaches over to hold the other’s hand: Phos is generally way more touchy than Cinnabar

is more likely to hog the bed: I think Phos takes up more space, while Cinnabar curls up in a little ball and steals the blankets

favors lazy morning sex: I kind of think Phos might be ace in a human AU? But not necessarily sex-repulsed, I think they’ll indulge Cinnabar once in a while and wake them up with little kisses

likes to drink their coffee or tea outside in the mornings: I’ve said before that I don’t think Phos is much for either coffee or tea (mornings are for orange juice babey) but they’re the more outdoorsy of the two

reads the paper or watches the news: Cinnabar (Phos doesn’t have the attention span to keep up with the news RIP)

feeds and takes care of the stray cat that hangs around the house (and pretty much makes it not a stray): Phos started feeding it and Cinnabar complained at first but now both of them have taken a shine to the cat equally

chooses the color of paint for the walls: Neither, Red Beryl or maybe Diamond intervened to make sure they didn’t pick anything too ridiculous

comes home with the weirder work stories: Cinnabar doesn’t tend to tell work stories all that much, but when they do they’ve got some doozies. Phos meanwhile often is the weird story that other people tell

takes long baths: Cinnabar

has the full skin care routine: Honestly? Probably neither, they suck at self-care lmao

gives the other a massage when they seem tense: Phos isn’t great at noticing when other people are tense, but they give a great massage when asked to. Cinnabar meanwhile always notices but isn’t very touchy and only rarely gives massages

is more easily turned on: (slams the table) give me ALL the blushy-blushy tsundere Cinnabar!

prefers to kick back with a drink in the evenings: both of them, Phos likes cocktails and Cinnabar likes wine 

stays up too late reading: Cinnabar stays up too late whether it’s reading or doing something else haha

Ooh, sure! I’m gonna do Cinnaphos (human AU since that’s what makes the most sense with these questions haha

Who buys flowers for the other: Phos, but often they don’t actually buy flowers, just pick them (and they never intentionally pick flowers from gardens that don’t belong to them but it happens)

Who makes the other coffee/tea: Phos doesn’t really drink either of them as much as Cinnabar (unless it’s like a frappucino or something fun like that) but if Cinnabar is making a pot of coffee or tea they may quietly put a mug down where Phos will know it’s for them

Who eats the most candy on Halloween: You’d think Phos but I bet Cinnabar has a secret sweet tooth too

Who tries new recipes all the time: Phos, and they’re a dreadful cook

Who genuinely likes pineapple on pizza: Both of them, but Cinnabar is highkey defensive about it

Who wears hats on special occasions: I’m not sure either of them? But if only for the mental image I’ll say Cinnabar, I like the visual of them in like an oldschool, vaguely gothic fascinator with like the little net veil over the eyes

Who likes ‘90s R&B: Phos’ music taste is an absolute mess

Who likes long walks on the beach: Phos could probably teach Cinnabar to appreciate long walks that aren’t in the dead of night. Cinnabar certainly looks lovely in sunset lighting. 

Who buys wacky picture frames: Phos. Full stop.

Who compares themselves to fictional/celebrity couples: Also Phos. It drives Cinnabar a little bananas but they’re secretly quite pleased

Who can solve a rubix cube: Cinnabar, and it totally blows Phos’ mind. 

Who would wear Hawaiian shirts on vacation/during the summer: Phos during the summer, but I love the idea of Cinnabar busting out some loud brightly coloured shirt while they’re on a holiday somewhere isolated, then looking Phos dead in the eye with an expression that say “no one will ever believe you.” They have already stolen Phos’ phone to prevent photo evidence of the incident. 

😏

6. Hugging headcanon: okay Ling is already shown to be quite the enthusiastic hugger in canon (which can’t ALWAYS result in him getting smacked with Ed’s detached automail arm so some of them have to be nice soft hugs) but Greed is probably almost or equally as much so. Greed’s definitely always giving like side-hugs and just slinging his arms over friends’ shoulders and stuff. I also remember a jaclcfrost post with some follow-up art that suggested that if Greed had survived and gotten a separate body the two of them would constantly just be all over each other, any sense of personal space destroyed by having shared a body and like, that’s not even really hugging so much as just Being Weird but that’s some Good Shit right there.

10. Physical appearance headcanon: Greed 1.0 puts a downright obnoxious amount of effort into his appearance, all careful hair gel and his dumbass clothes and sunglasses at night, you know the drill. He would do the same upon getting Ling’s body except a) they’re on the run and that’s inconvenient when you don’t have sleazy bars to be fashionable in, and b) he’s got no fucking clue how to deal with Ling’s long-ass hair so eventually it’s just Greasy Stringy Hell. Ling, being a prince who knows how to keep up appearances, is driven up a wall by this and Lectures about everything Greed is doing wrong at length.

Also in modern/real-world AUs I definitely like to think they experiment a little here and there with makeup, Ling in the “there’s no shame in a dude wearing a lil concealer here and there, I want flawless skin to match my personality” sense, and Greed more in the “imma haphazardly smear overpriced eyeliner on because fuck you that’s why” sense

14. Dancing headcanon: I definitely don’t think either of them are good dancers omg. Greed probably gets better and better the drunker he gets, but I feel like Ling would be the opposite. I bet he’s learned some formal dancing being a prince and all, so he’s definitely got the grace of movement if it’s at least somewhat choreographed, but his sense of rhythm isn’t quite good enough to just sort of get down at a club like Greed can if he’s had a few beers. 

16. Anger headcanon: Ling is hard to piss off, but once he’s mad, hoo boy, you better run fast and run far. He’s not much for holding grudges though, so if you apologize you’re gonna be good especially if you buy him food. Greed seems super easy to annoy because he’s always so rude and snarky, but getting him good and properly steamed up takes either an awful lot of Bad, or hitting a specific button/pet peeve. Being the greedy fuck that he is he’ll kick your ass if you mess with his stuff or his friends, but he’s like Ling at a surface level in that he won’t hold grudges over small things (he doesn’t really seem to have the attention span for it tbh). At his core though, we’ve seen from his falling-out with the other homunculi that if things build up, that rift is pretty much irreparable and he will not let go of old anger if he thinks its worth holding on to.