Batkid Threats
I headcanon that when Batkids are play-threatening each other, they get super detailed and graphic because they find it funny (I’m totally projecting but who cares).
Dick: *steals Damian’s blanket to wake him up* Damian: “Next time we patrol I am going to drive my (specific blade that has its own name) into your intestines, steal your comms, tell Oracle you had to go to Bludhaven, and leave you to die of infection as your own feces invades your bloodstream.”
Tim: *is doing WE work in his bed after being awake for 30 straight hours* Jason: “If you don’t shut that laptop I’m going to take (name of bazooka), wait until you need to take a piss, and blow off your bathroom wall so the whole world can see you on the toilet.”
Stephanie: *messed up one of Bab’s drones* Barbara: “If you put one more dent in my things, I will hack into all of your college classes and make all of your assignments due in one week.”
It’s when they’re vague that they mean business, because that means they don’t want to give out any clues on how to stop them. Hyper-specific threats are for when they don’t feel like getting up off their butts. “I will end you.”, means they actually WILL; and you’ll never see it coming.
