The Bat-tening: My Brain Is Now Officially Bat-Shaped
you guys. YOU GUYS. i am currently sitting in my room, wrapped in a blanket burrito, listening to these "batman adventures for children" audio stories that my mom picked up at a flea market last weekend (bless her soul, she knows i'm obsessed). she gave them to me for FREE. i just googled them and apparently they're worth like $100 for the whole set?? mom of the year award goes to my mother who thought she was just grabbing "some batman thing" for her teenager.
but here's the thing. i've been listening for approximately 45 minutes and if i hear the prefix "bat-" attached to ONE MORE NOUN i might actually lose what remains of my sanity.
"quick, to the BAT-MOBILE!" "i'll check the BAT-COMPUTER!" "let me grab my BAT-BINOCULARS!" "time for a BAT-SNACK!" "the joker won't escape the BAT-HANDCUFFS!"
i swear to god they're just making up bat-objects at this point. is there a writer in a room somewhere whose entire job is just to bat-ify random words? because if so, i would like to submit my application for that position immediately.
also can we talk about nightwing's haircut in this version? it's like someone described a mullet to an alien who had never seen human hair before, and then that alien tried to draw it from memory while blindfolded. it's simultaneously too long AND too short? the 90s were a wild time for animated hair choices.
anyway i'm still going to listen to all 12 hours of this because i am nothing if not a dedicated bat-fan. even if my vocabulary is permanently damaged and i start unconsciously adding "bat-" to everything i say.
bat-send help.
