#baspringwillcome

summer

 Souls are stars. Half of a star to be exact. Clearly this means your soulmate, or whatever shares the other half. 

 When you die, your body becomes the earth. The trees, the flowers, the grass. Dirt. And your soul becomes stardust that ascends back to its rightful place in the night sky until the other half of your star meets you there. 

 And there you stay until it’s your time to live again. You’re then a falling star. Shooting, flying, breaking apart as you soar across the sky. Pieces of you and them scattered who knows where, some pieces falling longer than others, some finding their place on the earth immediately. Until the universe decides to bring you back to one another. Born again. Together again. If you’re lucky enough to meet in this lifetime. But if not in this one, then perhaps the next. Or maybe you were together in the one before. Maybe it’s guaranteed. Once a lover, always a lover. In this life and in the next. 

 Who knows? You sure as hell don’t. 

 It doesn’t make sense. The way you think about the stars and the people around you. You know that. It’s not like you live by it or anything. You don’t even like space. Know that realistically stars are just gas and that when they fall from the sky they are dying, not reincarnating. They smash into the ground and then. Poof. Gone forever, nothing but a black hole left behind. You also know that soulmates are a fairytale at best and a beautifully spun cruel web of lies at worst. 

 But being a part of a star and having a… person sounds a lot better to you than eternal damnation or a forever of nothing but void darkness. 

 “Iced Hazelnut macchiato sub oat milk for __!”

 Blushing Brews is hectic but the barista is a smiling little caffeine fairy granting your wish for energy in the form of a small plastic cup. You smile as you take the drink from him. His smile is blinding, it hurts to look at him directly.

 You think that maybe not everyone is part of a star and that maybe some are just random, pointless space rocks that fall to earth. But not the barista. He’s definitely part star.

 “Thanks,” you say.

 You shuffle through the people waiting for their drinks and take a seat at your usual table. The whole coffee shop is quaint and cute, the chairs vintage and upholstered in different shades of velvet fabric. The tables have dried flowers and flakes of gold encapsulated in them. Your table is a little to the left next to the large window, with the order station still in view. You get to people watch the folks outside and person watch the one inside, only one soul able to hold your attention indoors. Aside from the friends sat with you at your table of course. You stir your drink.

 “I bet his cum tastes like the oat milk he puts in my coffee.” You stare at the barista behind the counter, innocently just doing his job, oblivious to the way he glows so bright. “Thick and creamy... kinda sweet...” 

 “You are so-” Taehyung starts. 

 “Disgusting. She’s disgusting,” Yoongi finishes for him. If the barista is a star, Yoongi is a space rock.

 You raise your eyebrows, contemplative. He’s not wrong. Dirty, nasty, disgusting. You’re all of the above. But you’re also a hopeless romantic. Forever in love with the idea of love and all the different parts of it. Always looking at every aspect of life, through rose-tinted glasses. If you wanted to idealize the barista’s sperm, you would. Who was Min Yoongi to stop you? You take a sip of the coffee the barista prepared for you. “You know he never charges me extra for it, even though he’s supposed to.”

 “He should. Considering he could probably get in trouble and also how you objectify him.” Yoongi grimaces as he downs his black espresso.  

 “I don’t objectify him, I romanticize him. I simply observe him and speak everything that goes on in my pretty little head.” Both of your friends give you a flat stare. “Okay, it’s not like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” He may not know the extent of his charm, but you know he knows he’s charming. “He has a whole sleeve and wears massive stompers to crush hearts. What’s he doing working in a coffee shop?”

 “His job?”

 “No. He’s trying to subtly leave an impression on unsuspecting creative writing majors that never had a strong male figure in their life, just so he can further ingrain in their head that while he is breathtaking, and makes an incredible iced hazelnut macchiato sub oat milk, he will surely leave just like everyone else, only to become a distant pink memory that they can’t forget, no matter how hard they try and how insignificant.”

 “He doesn’t even know your name,” Taehyung says, with a roll of his eyes.

 “How can you go from talking about his nut to calling him breathtaking and pink?” Yoongi pulls his laptop out, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips.

 “Of course he knows my name. Also. You know what else I bet is pink? His big fat-”

 “Shut up.”

 You hum, swiftly transitioning. “I’m multifaceted and the definition of dichotomy.” Out comes your notebook. You could at least look like you’re being productive. “I only handwrite poetry and I pull over when I see a field of flowers and I think we are all made of stars, but I also like getting railed and degraded, as well as emotionally demeaned,” You pause, thinking for just a moment, “Though that’s more for my art than anything. Duality.”

 “You’re something, that’s for sure. Don’t look now but barista baby is walking this way.”

 Barista baby. A pastel feeling starts to creep its way over your skin, leaving goosebumps, and a blush in its wake. You glance in the direction of the counter and sure enough, during a lull in traffic he’s out from behind the counter and he looks like he’s coming directly for you. His big black pants that are decorated with a chain jingle as he takes heavy steps with boot-clad feet. Maybe you’re dramatic but you think you can see a trail of stardust behind him. You look away. Too bright.

 “Hey, can I clear these cups for you?” he asks, reaching for Yoongi’s empty one, and Taehyung’s mostly full one. His voice is deep and as soft as the velvet you’re sitting on. He pauses when he feels the weight of Taehyung’s cup. “Oh sorry about that.” He sets it back down.

 “Take it, he doesn’t even like coffee, he just gets it for the aesthetic. He’s an art major.” You roll your eyes, sipping your drink.

 “Why do you add my major at the end of every insult?” Taehyung groans at you before turning to the barista. “Do you even know her name?”

 “Taehyung!” you gasp. Yoongi’s laughing quietly next to you, typing away.

 The barista looks between you and your friend hesitantly before saying. “Of course I do, it’s __. She comes in here like at least 3 times a week.”

 Taehyung sniffs and you beam.

 “Do you know my name?” the barista quizzes.

 Your eyes flicker from his face down to the little chalkboard name tag attached to the mauve apron that he’s wearing over his short sleeve black shirt. ‘JK ♥’ is written in pink chalk. Cute.

 “Yeah it’s JK,” you say, leaning forward on the table, giving him your full attention.

 He smirks. “Don’t let my manager hear that. It’s actually Jeongguk.”

 “Well, Jeongguk, you would not believe what __ had to say about the oat milk you guys have here. She said-” Taehyung starts.

 “I said,” you cut him off shooting him daggers, “That it’s super thick and creamy, really yummy.”

 “Speaking of oat milk,” Jeongguk says unfazed, “You literally break my heart every time you stir that drink.” He leans forward bracing his hands on the table, kinda crowding your space, and nods his head in the direction of your half-empty, light brown coffee.

 ‘You literally break my heart every time you look at me.’ You think. You slow blink at him. “Why is that?”

 “It’s supposed to be consumed in layers.” His eyes are twinkling, and his smile is just a little crooked.

 You hum, thoughtfully. “Would it make you happy if I consumed it in layers?” You look up at him through your eyelashes. He’s trying to suppress a smile, his shoulders shaking lightly with poorly concealed laughter.

 Taehyung fights back a gag as he chokes on the tension radiating off of you and Jeongguk. Quickly he raises to his feet, and snatches Yoongi’s laptop right from his hands, tucking it underneath his arm before he’s pulling the older boy out of his seat. 

 “Yoongi I just remembered that we need to finish that project-“

 “Tae you’re an art major, and I’m an engineering major. Our classes are in completely different buildings. There’s actually no plausible way for that to be believable and I would literally never pick you as my partner. One because you…” They fade out as they get closer to the door, making their exit.

 Jeongguk glances at the newly free seat before peeking at the counter. Still no queue. He takes it upon himself to sit. He places his chin on his hands, tattoos and rings on full display. “Yeah. It would.” He states plainly.

 You shift in your seat. It’s so hard to look at a star close up. You squint. “What if that made me not happy?” It truly would ruin your day. Why would you drink straight oat milk, and then straight espresso when you could mix it and enjoy both flavors at once?

 He searches your features before cocking his head to the side, a tiny closed-lip smile on his face. “What would make you happy then?”

 Your heartbeat is fast and heavy and you can hear it in your ears, everything else subdued and muted. You bring a well-manicured hand down trace at one of the blossoms in the table. You can’t look at him anymore, not when you say it. With faux confidence you speak, “You could take me out.” 

 You see him tense in your peripheral. You’re still tracing the flower, breath stuck in your throat. 

 “No,” he says. Your hand jerks, ruining the perfect petals you’ve been outlining. You recover quickly, clearing your throat.

 “Well-”

 “You could take me out.”

 Your head whips up. Eyes wide and doe-like before you get your composure. You scoff. “What’s the difference? Also, why haven’t you talked to me before?”

 He looks like he’s thinking, a brief flicker of something flashes in his eyes, gone too fast for you to place it. He looks like he’s settling when he says, “I like to be pursued.” 

 A smile slowly graces your lips. You nod. “Fair enough.”

 He brings his hand down and brushes his pinky against your finger that was tracing the flower. It’s weird how your whole body burns hot and ignites from such a small touch. “I gotta go,” he says, tone soft and hazy and baby pink. 

 You glance towards the door just as a couple walks in. You purse your lips and make a soft agreeing noise.

 Jeongguk raises from his seat, smoothing out his apron. He’s walking away when you speak up.

 “Why don’t you ever charge me for the oat milk?”

 He glances back at you, a radiant star-filled smile on his face. “To make you happy.”

 A small rush of air pushes past your lips as you watch him walk away. You wonder if anyone has ever been successful when pursuing a star. 

 You do your best to get to work, though your eyes keep flickering to the counter. Jeongguk catches you just once or twice. Each time he smiles and looks away, focusing once again on the orders he’s being given. 

 The couple that interrupted your and Jeongguk’s conversation ends up sitting a few tables away. Not close enough for you to hear, but close enough for you to watch. Ever the daydreamer, you wonder what they are saying. What should we get for lunch? Did you call your mom like you said you would? Do you want to stay the night? Are you the other half of my star?

 The girl is offering the boy a sip of her drink, his hand coming up to cover hers as he guides it to his mouth. She smiles big, eyes half crescents, when he nods in approval, leaning in to place a soft kiss on her cheek, grinning into it. They settle into a conversation, hands moving, heads shaking.

 You close your notebook and head to campus. Jeongguk doesn’t notice you’ve left until a few hours later.

 ~~~~~

 autumn 

 “Fancy seeing you here!”

 You jump, almost knocking over your coffee and glance next to you to see the beautiful boy who scared you. 

 Jeongguk is fresh-faced with his eyes brighter than ever, and he smells like freshly ground coffee beans. The expensive imported kind. From Colombia or something. Maybe Paris. You think a pretty boy like Jeongguk would look good in Paris. Anywhere beautiful really. A beautiful boy in a beautiful place. It just makes sense. He’s still got his apron on and his hair is tied up today, little flyaways framing his face like a halo. 

 “Is it really?” you ask, trying to sound bored. Trying to quiet the butterflies in your tummy. 

 You’ve got your laptop with you. No distractions in the form of pointless scribbles or poorly written couplets about boys with coffee eyes and kisses that probably taste like coffee to match, today! You’ve got a Humanities paper due in about 8 hours.

 “I guess not, considering you’re here literally all the time.” He grins and scoots closer. “What are you doing?”

 “I have a paper due later, so I’m just finishing that up.” You ignore the scoff he makes when he sees you’ve barely got half a page written.

 Jeongguk reaches to his other side and offers up a new coffee, figuring yours would be watered down by now. Considering you’ve been here since opening. It's particularly quiet for a Friday, but the lull in business is always welcome. Jeongguk glances to the counter at the storefront, only to find that Jimin’s staring and when he catches Jeongguk’s eye, he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Jeongguk smiles a tiny grin, but other than that, the other barista is swiftly ignored.

 You take the coffee with a small ‘Thank you.’ and then hold his gaze as you deliberately stir it, mixing the carefully poured layers. You smile when Jeongguk’s eye twitches.

 “Very unhappy right now.”

 You sip away.

 “What’s your major?”

 “Creative writing. Do you go to school? I haven’t seen you around campus.” You make sure to save what you have so far, just in case you get even more distracted and forget to do so later. 

 He shakes his head, pretty earring twinkling in the window light. “I would hate to be stuck somewhere for 4 years, and then not even be guaranteed a job after all that debt I would be in.” He pauses and then chuckles at how gloomy he sounds. “I do apprentice at a tattoo shop every now and again. Your major makes sense though. Seems fitting.”

 You tuck the tattoo apprenticeship information away, saving it for a later conversation. “How do you know what fits me?” 

 His expression is sly. “I know more about you than you think. I hear the way you talk about things, and see how you look at them. Plus you’ve always got your nose in your notebook. Do you want to be an author?”

 You scoff and roll your eyes, a trace of bitterness seeping through and tainting your expression. “We all want to be authors.” You unfold and refold the napkin in your hand, before tossing it to the side. “I’m going to be an editor, or a journalist, or... something.”

 “Don’t worry you have time to think about it.”

 You give him a sideways glance. “I mean- not really, I graduate at the end of the spring semester.”

 He regards you with curious eyes for a second. He looks like he’s trying to figure you out. His eyebrows furrow like he comes up empty with no explanation for what he is wondering. So with a faint confused smile, he asks, “Why do you live like that?”

 You place the coffee you were about to sip back down, caught off guard a little by his genuinely inquisitive and soft tone. “Like what? With long term goals?”

 He laughs, loud. It’s brash and startling in the quiet coffee shop. He throws his head back and his eyes crinkle. Some people turn to look at you both. You don’t care. “I mean that’s one way of saying it. But what I mean is like- what if you change your mind? Or like I don’t know… get bored?”

 You pause. It’s a loaded, scary question. You wonder if the jobs you listed would really be enough to satisfy someone like you. Someone who’s always thinking about things in a way that makes them seem better than they are. Someone who sees things in extremes and thinks stars are inside of people. Someone who has a constant feeling inside that always wants more. You wonder if you actually will get bored. What you’d do if you did. You don’t want to think about it anymore, so you don’t. Instead, simply stating, “I love writing. I won’t change my mind about that, and as long as I’m doing something that has to do with it, then I’ll be fine.” You think you’re telling the truth, mostly at least.

 He makes a soft noise of understanding, but you’re not sure if he actually does.

 “I guess if I had something I loved like you love writing then I would see things differently. I just don’t love anything that much. Nothing but my freedom. And it seems like everything tries to take that away eventually.”

 Your breath catches and you think something cracks inside of you. Can you ever truly contain a star? Or is it the tighter you hold it, the more likely it is to explode? A supernova waiting to happen?

 Before you can respond he speaks up again. “But hey, listen. We should, like, hang out.”

 “Oh? I thought you wanted me to take you out?” You jest.

 He rolls his eyes, fighting a smile. “You’re still going to.” 

 ~~~~

 The thing about being a hopeless romantic is that you think about life in could be’s. You could be his, he could be yours. You paint a picture of potential in your head, all different shades of pink and red and doused in stardust. 

 You’re levelheaded and sane in most areas of your life, can understand the consequences of moving too fast, not taking the time to think, and not seeing things for what they truly are. But when it comes to things that have to do with liking, with loving, with wanting… You’re brash and eager. You cling to idealizations and dream of scenarios. It makes you infatuated quick, attached even quicker. It’s not a bad thing really. You just fall fast and love easily. You’re good at hiding it, but that sweet pink feeling? It’s always there, just simmering under the surface. 

 The party is loud and so is your beating heart. Thump, thump, thump. The room has an almost opaque hazy feeling to it, smoke lingering in the air from whatever everyone is smoking. You take a sip from your red plastic cup, grimace, then drink some more. You don’t drink that often, but it's nice. Once you can’t taste or feel the burn of it anymore. Once it makes you float a little. People are bumping into you, as you leave the kitchen. You just refilled your drink. Vodka and some juice this time. 

 “__!” 

 He’s running towards you at the speed of light. At least it seems like it. Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s because he’s just fast. Maybe it’s just because you've got a crush. He doesn’t need to run, you’ll still be there. He’s stopped by people here and there, ugly moths flocking to a bright flame. He flutters away with soft dismissive smiles, a few ‘Hey I’ll catch you later, okay?’s. It makes you feel fuzzy.

 “You made it!” He’s beaming, and he’s not out of breath but his chest is moving a little faster than normal. You can see his muscles through the thin fabric of the t-shirt he’s wearing. You stare. He crowds your space, comes close enough for your hand that’s holding your drink to bump into his tummy. Very firm, very strong tummy. He’s so warm, kinda sweaty from all the excess body heat in the room. Or maybe he was dancing. You wanna watch. See how he moves. You take another drink, grazing his stomach as you bring your arm back down.

 “You came,” He says again. He’s talking to the top of your head, mostly, your eyes still distracted. His hand comes up to grip at the elbow of your bent arm, just resting there. Just touching.

 At last, look up at him, and you have to consciously take a breath. He’s glowing so bright in the hazy, smoky room, surely he doesn’t belong here. At the party. On Earth. He’s wearing a wide neck tee, it shows off the length of his collarbones. They are pretty, strong. But you don’t linger.  And you ignore the fresh blossoms of sore red skin that are already there. Just peeking out. You showed up late. Jeongguk doesn’t seem like the type to wait. Not that he was waiting for you. Maybe he was. You hope he was. Even if he found things to keep him occupied while doing so.

 “Yeah, I came.” You look at him over the lip of your cup. You’re almost there, almost floating.

 He doesn’t say anything when he takes the cup from your hand, holding it from the top, taking a sip of his own. He doesn’t grimace. Maybe he’s already used to the taste. You’d say something but the drinks make you a little sluggish, your quick-wit slowed down. You’re not drunk, far from it, you’re just feeling... nice. He takes your hand, drags you through the crowd of people. That feels nice too. His hand is big and warm, kinda rough yet baby soft at the same time. You’ve always loved contradictions. He’s pulling you to the living room. There’s a ratty couch in the corner with your name on it. Probably spelled in a variety of questionable fluids.

 “My friends-” you say realizing you lost Taehyung and Yoongi.

 “They’ll find you, don’t worry. The house isn’t that big.” It’s kind of hard to hear him. You lean closer.

 To your surprise, Yoongi and Taehyung are actually already there, making quick friends with the other barista from Blushing Brews. Jimin, you remember Jeongguk mentioning him here and there. A few other people are around too, some you vaguely recognize from campus or just around, some you’ve never seen before. There’s not that much room on the couch.

 You glance up at Jeongguk, but he doesn’t seem bothered, easily finding a place for himself. He’s still got your hand, so you’re dragged with him, settling half on his lap half on the cushion. You’re kind of sideways, back against the arm of the couch, side pressed against him, legs over his lap. His hand is on your mid-thigh, fingers on the inner seam of your jeans. He’s not doing anything but it feels good. He’s got his other arm around the armrest of the sofa, around you. It’s a little too hot to be sitting so close, but you don’t say anything and neither does he.

 The conversation around you is hectic, bouncing from topic to topic. You’re content just sitting and listening, casually just nursing your drink. Taehyung’s going on about the latest piece for his portfolio and how he got accepted to be part of the university’s winter showcase which was kinda of a big deal, and a guy named Namjoon is talking about the wonders of botany, and the medicinal benefits of plants. There’s a couple of girls around too, you smile whenever you accidentally make eye contact with them while people watching. They smile back, eyes flitting curiously between you and Jeongguk. He squeezes your thigh. You press them together, subconsciously, mostly a natural reaction.

 “Hey,” He says quietly, so only you hear.

 You turn your head to look at him, instead of the people around you. You make a surprised noise when you see how close you are, noses almost touching, him already looking at you. You question him with a look.

 He doesn’t need to, your proximity already near, but he presses his lips against your hair, right next to your ear, his cheek brushing yours. “Are you comfy?” You feel him smile more than see it. 

 You wiggle your toes in your sneakers, press your side a little closer to his chest. “Mhmm.” You glance down when you feel his fingers start to trace the seam of your pants, no longer just squeezing and holding. You honestly can’t help it if you spread your legs just a bit wider in response. You think you feel his breath hitch, before you definitely feel his hand settle high on your inner thigh. It’s nothing scandalous, but it’s something. Makes that sickly sweet feeling boil in your belly.

 “You look pretty.” There’s a lazy grin on his face, he’s looking at you with so much contentment that it makes you squirm. You wonder if he’s high. His hand on your thigh tightens. You ask him if he is.

 He giggles, cute and quiet before pressing his face into your shoulder like he’s embarrassed. “No, I was but not anymore.” When he looks at you again, his cheeks are tinted pink. He looks pretty too. You tell him.

 He rolls his eyes, and looks like he’s about to argue. But the bubble you both were protected in is popped by Jimin’s loud voice, mentioning his name.

 “Don’t let Jeongguk hear you say that. He’s the most cynical person I know. Will crush the little daydream in your head so quick.”

 Jeongguk laughs, before chiming in, “Who’s day do I need to ruin?”

 One of the guys you don’t know speaks up. He’s got broad shoulders and plump lips. “Hyeon, over here thinks she’s found her soulmate in the form of her Mathematics professor.” He rolls his eyes like it’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. 

 You look at the girl and she’s laughing light heartedly, not taking the jabs too seriously. You catch Yoongi’s eye, and he’s already looking at you, eyes bubbling with soft concern, like he knows where this conversation is going to go. 

 Jeongguk adjusts you on his lap, not much, just enough so he can sit up some more and be fully attentive. He keeps his hands all over you. You don’t miss the way almost everyone’s eyes are on you, nosy and full of questions.

 “Hyeon, let me ask you this. Let’s say on the incredibly off chance soulmates do exist, why the fuck would he be in your hometown, that you literally have never left? There’s 7 billion people in the world and you think you met your ‘one true love’ at your University?” he even uses air-quotes. 

 Hyeon sniffs, and turns her nose up. “I think it’s fate that-“

 Jeongguk interrupts her with an obnoxious buzzer noise. “EH. Wrong. Please Hyeon. Believing in that shit is just setting yourself up for disappointment.” He shakes his head, exasperated, before he settles back into the couch. His fingers start tickling your inner thigh again.

 Everyone’s kinda chuckling, even Taehyung when he asks, “Damn man… Who the fuck hurt you?”

 Everyone really chuckles at that. Except Jeongguk. He shrugs trying to come off unbothered. Calm, cool, and collected. Like he didn’t just passionately crush a girl’s hopes of finding the one. Although you will admit, falling for your university teacher probably wasn’t the best path to follow on the quest for finding your person. 

 “No one,” Jeongguk says, “I just think it’s stupid.”

 Jimin cackles, high pitched and teasing. “Yeah okay. Don’t listen to him. He got his heart broke a few years ago and hasn’t been the same since.”

 Jeongguk laughs like he’s over it. You wonder if he is. “Shut the fuck up Jimin.” His eyes still have starshine in them when he turns his attention back to you. “I’m gonna go get another drink. Do you want one?”

 You shake your head, giving him a small smile. He squeezes your thigh before he goes, leaving with a quiet, “Stay here okay? I’ll be right back.” 

 Taehyung’s quick to take his place, plopping your legs in his lap like Jeongguk had. “You okay?”

 He says it lightly like he’s trying to not make it a big deal. And it’s not. Not really. Sure you thought of a few could be’s and wished on a few stars. But you know he’s right in some ways. It’s a good thing you don’t really believe in soulmates either. Not really. You believe in people and in stars. In could be’s.

 “Yeah I’m good.” You say back quiet. “I don’t believe in them either. Not seriously.” You try to laugh off his incredulous look. 

 “Are you really? I saw you writing about him, and you’ve been like extra daydreamy lately.”

 You roll your eyes. “First of all, don’t snoop. Second of all, it’s just a crush.” You shrug.

 He looks at you a little sadly. “We both know you don’t have ‘just crushes’.”

 “Actually, I do, now. So please drop it, and go flirt with Jimin some more. I’m going to the bathroom.” You swing your legs off him and wander around for a little bit. You didn’t really have to pee that bad to begin with.

 ~~~~

 During your house roaming escapades, you accidentally walked in on a few people, and never actually found the bathroom you were supposed to be in. Now you’re in a hallway, looking at an elaborate family photo wall. Turns out you have no clue whose house this is, despite Jeongguk mentioning the guy went to your university.

 There’s old photos of a couple that turn to marriage photos of a couple. The couple posed in front of a house. Then there’s baby photos, turned into school photos. Color coordinated christmas cards. You squint. You know pictures don’t really tell you much,  but they look happy. With their picturesque life. You wonder if the parents share a star. 

 You jump and let out a squeak when you feel a hand grab the bend of your elbow and spin you around. 

 “There you are,” Jeongguk sing-songs, trying to not laugh at the noise you made. “I was looking for you.”

 You lean against the opposite wall of the pictures. He crowds your space. He smells good. You don’t know how you didn’t notice when you were on the couch with him. Maybe it was the smoke floating around. It’s a little easier to breathe here, in the random hallway you found. Or at least it was till he showed up. 

 “You found me.” You sing back. He smiles, almost shyly. But his eyes drop to your lips and then back up.

 “What were you doing?” He asks. He moves to lean against the wall next to you, trying to get a look at what you were distracted by when he found you.

 “Just being nosy.” You hum. “Did you get your drink?” 

 He looks down at his empty hands, and then leans his head back on the wall, laughing softly to himself. A little drop of sweat rolls down his extended neck. You swallow. It’s still early to mid fall. The weather is still hot enough. Plus all the bodies in the house. Plus he’s a star, always burning so bright. Must be tiring. Sweat inducing.

 “I think I forgot it when I went looking for you.” He rolls his head to the side to look at you, and he’s got that lazy grin on his face again. 

 “Wanna go get it?” You ask, already pushing yourself off the wall.

 He’s quick when he stops you, hand on your shoulder gently guiding you back. He’s in front of you again, closer this time. Hotter.

 “No, no. It’s okay. We’re- good here. This is good.” His eyes keep flickering to your lips. It’s making you squirm, something starts to stir in your belly. You shift under his gaze.

 “Do you do this with all of your friends?” Your voice is softer now, the casual atmosphere you both were just in, long gone. The tension is tangible now and you’re too scared to speak up, afraid you might break if you do. 

 He hums, angling his body even closer to you. Your back is against the wall now, and the sounds of the party around you are muffled. One of his arms comes up, bracing his forearm by your head bracketing you in on one side. His other hand comes up to toy with the bottom of your shirt. “Do what with them?” His voice is just as soft. 

 You swallow. “Look at them like you’re gonna kiss them.”

 His eyes twinkle as he looks at you, eyes dropping to your lips again. He licks his own, and now they’re wet. The light hits them just right to make them shine. What do stars taste like? He drags his gaze back up deliberately slow. “Yeah. I kiss all my friends.” It’s said on an exhale as he leans closer to you. His lips graze your ear. “Don’t you?”

 You let out a trembling breath, shaking your head. A warning signal goes off in your brain, red-lights flashing. That’s a red flag, you’re sure of it. But for some reason, in your mind, the lights, the flag… they look pink, almost enticing instead of worrisome. The blaring warning alarms slow and blur into a melodious siren song.

 He’s shifting closer again. The heat from his body is scalding. Part of you wishes you could move back, most of you wants to press into it. Get burned just a little. “You don’t?” he asks. There’s a little bit of a teasing lilt to his voice, you can hear the smile. “Why’s that?” The hand by your head plays with a small piece of your long hair, twirling it around his fingers. You get a glimpse of his tattoos. Pretty.

 You struggle to find something to say. You don’t want to say you only kiss your boyfriends, you don’t want to scare him. Because you want this, you do. You just- “I- I only kiss special friends.” -want it to mean something. 

 It rushes past your lips and you’re not able to stop it. Not able to really think about what you’re saying. Not able to think about what you’re implying, what you’re agreeing to. You feel his grip on your hip tighten a little, and his body pushes towards you, just grazing yours. He’s not hard yet but he’s excited. Cock a little thicker and heavier and pushing out just a little more than normal. Your eyes squeeze shut and you try not to whimper. 

 He nuzzles against your temple. “That’s good, we can be special friends. I like that.” 

 He’s leaning in and you’re about to ask him if he means it, the thing he said about liking it, but the tension is shattered and the fragile atmosphere is ruined. 

 “Gguk! You better leave that poor girl alone!”

 It’s said by Jimin, it’s always him it seems. He’s drunk and hauled over Taehyung’s shoulder, just passing by the hallway you’re in on their way to presumably the bedrooms. There’s a few people laughing and following them, waiting for a show and consequently, some filter into your secret hallway and take it upon themselves to make it their space as well.

 Jeongguk sighs, forehead resting against yours. “I gotta go make sure he wraps it.” He sounds annoyed but amused. “He’s had chlamydia one too many times. Insurance won’t cover his clinic costs anymore.”

 You snort. “Please tell me you’re joking.” You tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. Actions bold for the fragile feeling floating around you both. His eyes track the movement and you don’t miss how he tenses before your arm falls back to your side. 

 “Yeah I am, but I should still go make sure he’s being safe.” 

 You nod. “You’re a good friend, Jeongguk.”

 He rolls his eyes, playful when he squeezes your hip. “Don’t forget you still have to take me out.” 

 “I won’t.”

 His smile matches your own. “I’ll see you?”

 You nod again, as he turns to jog in the direction that Jimin and Taehyung went. You wish he looked back. Oh well.

 ~~~~

 Early to mid-fall bleeds into late autumn.Still warm during the day like a soft summer’s kiss, just a little chilly during nightfall like the last words of a past lover. You and Jeongguk haven’t talked about the party. And he hasn’t tried to kiss you since. Things are different though. Soft touches here and there, more frequent than before. Even softer, stilted flirting ensued during the following weeks. He wasn’t acting shy, never that. 

 But it’s like he was waiting for you. Waiting to be pursued. You guess. It’s clear he wants more, but it's almost like he doesn’t want to be the one to push for it. Give in to it. You don’t really know. You also don’t think too much about it. Don’t think a lot about anything other than him, and the next time you’ll see him, next moment you’ll get to spend time with him. Usually, you don’t have to wait too long. He spends most of his breaks with you at the coffee shop, now. It’s a sweet thing he does, just like how he’s been putting that extra pump of sweetener into your drink lately.

 Today, however, you are not at Blushing Brews, you’re at the fair. Large rides and crooked games line the surrounding area of the boardwalk, sounds of people screaming and laughing fill the air. It smells like heart disease and the salty ocean. It’s not too crowded, it’s been open for a while, you came on one of the last days it was in town. 

 “This is me taking you out by the way,” you say around a spoonful of frozen cherry limeade.

 Jeongguk hums as he leans down, wanting a taste. You want to taste too, just not of his frozen lemonade. You scoop a heaping amount. Maybe he’ll get a brain freeze. 

 “You don’t say?” He smiles before wincing, mouth forming a small ‘o’. He’s blowing out like he’s trying to warm the inside of his mouth. You smile, spoon between your teeth. 

 “Tasty?” you ask, trying to stifle a laugh.

 “Cold.” he responds, still trying to melt the icy slush in his mouth. He offers you a bite of his.

 “Too sour,” you decline. “I only like sweet things.” 

 ~~~

 The wind is blowing, the breeze is pleasant after running around the fair all day. Hours have gone by, playing games that you both know are rigged, bartering with the worker until you’re giving up and buying the prize you want anyway, a medium sized Hello Kitty plush with a pink bow. Riding rides that are terrifying simply because they get taken apart and put back together, time and time again. Eating way too many fried foods and drinking far more sugary drinks than is healthy. But neither you or Jeongguk have mentioned wanting to leave.  

 You walk the boardwalk and take a seat at the ledge of the pier and Jeongguk’s close by following suit. Feet are dangling off the edge, and a soft mist of salty water tickles your ankles. It’s night time now. The stars are bright in their home. You lean back and brace yourself on your extended arms, palms on the wooden pier.

 “You know that stuff you said at the party? About soulmates?” You’re not looking at him, eyes up towards the sky. You can feel him gazing at your profile though. It burns a little. Everything about him is hot. Not unbearably so. Kinda like when you turn the shower on as hot as it can go. Scalding, but good.

 “About all of it being bullshit?” he laughs to himself. “Yeah I remember. I’ll say it again too.” He knocks your extended elbow causing it to buckle, playful and cheery like he always is. How can being around him be such a contradiction? Light-hearted yet suffocating. Doesn’t matter really. Not like you’re going to stop. Not until he tells you to. You scowl at him before righting yourself.

 You’re quiet for a moment, long enough for Jeongguk to follow your gaze and glance at the navy blanket above you both. “I believe it,” you state.

 He’s looking at you again. You look at him as well, face impassive. “You do?” he asks. He doesn't really sound surprised. Why would he be? What writer doesn’t believe in something as far fetched as reciprocated love?

 You shrug lightly. “Maybe not like soulmates. But I think we have like… a person that we could spend a really long time with. Forever even. Maybe longer if we’re lucky.” He doesn’t say anything so you continue. “I also think we are all part of the stars. And we share a star with our person.”

 Jeongguk’s confused to say the least but he goes with it. You live in a constant daydream, and he knew you had your head in the clouds when he first met you, decided that he wanted you. “If we’re stars, how do we get to earth?”

 “We fall. Falling stars,” you explain. He makes a soft sound of acknowledgement.

 You both fall silent, the distant sound of laughter and the rolling waves the only thing letting you know the world hasn’t fallen mute. The reflection on the moon dances on the ripples of the ocean.

 “How did you… come to this conclusion?”

 Again you shrug. You lay back on the salty, sandy wood of the dock. “I don’t know really. I just like the sound of it. The idea.” You give a half suppressed laugh, feeling kinda silly. He lays down next to you, attention fully taken by the stars. 

 You don’t know why. He sees himself everyday.

 “So you really have no idea?”

 “I mean…” you start. Think a short moment. “We really don’t have any idea about anything we can’t physically see. Right? Like we have no idea if heaven’s real or not because we can’t see it. Hell too. I don’t even know if Australia is a real place.”

 Jeongguk chuckles. “Of course it’s real.”

 “How do you know? Have you been? Have you seen the alleged opera house? A kangaroo even?” You raise your eyebrows challenging him.

 He’s shaking his head like he can’t believe you. He’s smiling though. Always shining. “I’ve seen pictures. And other people have been.”

 “And you just believe them? People say they have been to heaven, there’s pictures of angels.”

 A staring contest ensues before he’s rolling his eyes, giving up. He waves a lazy, bony hand. Wrist limp, as he gestures for you to just get on with it. 

 A smug grin graces your lips. “It’s the same with soulmates. People think they are real, claim to have met theirs on some off chance. But, that’s all subjective hearsay.” You kick your feet, still dangling, just tempting the ocean to drag you in. Maybe a shark will get you. Maybe a sea spirit. “But… the stars? They are right there. People? Literally everywhere. You? You’re right next to me. I can see all of it. I know it’s all there, and real. There’s a connection. It means something I think.”

 He hums a few times like he’s processing something, trying to figure out how to word the thoughts running around in his mind. He takes a deep breath. “Stars are really big you know. Don’t you think it's… I don’t know, like suffocating for the star to confine them to being someone’s soulmate?”

 “Not soulmate.”

 “You know what I mean.”

 Head shaking, you deny what he says. “No, I don’t think it’s confining or suffocating. Being important to someone is so special; precious. A big deal for them.” You nod towards the sky.

 When he whispers, it’s said so quietly you almost miss it, “What if the star doesn’t want that?”

 His words hurt for some reason. It’s stupid, and you can’t explain it, but the ache is piercing, like a sweet tooth left untreated for too long, slowly decaying, sharp stabs of pain throbbing.

 “Don’t you think the stars get lonely?” You murmur back. 

 He swallows audibly, and you hear him let out a breath that trembles just a hint too much to be considered normal. Jeongguk rolls to his side so he’s facing you, he has a dopey smile on his face, just a little bit crooked and uneven. It looks forced, but you let him have it. “Well… which star am I then? If we all are made of stardust.” He’s trying to tease. Trying to breathe.

 You look at him with a light blush on your cheeks. The multicolored fair lights are glowing over his face, rapidly changing color. It’s like you’re looking at him through a kaleidoscope. It’s dizzying. That’s not why your stomach is doing flips though. You roll over to your side, body to body. Only a few inches in between you both. 

 “You’d be the north star, I think.”

 He hums, closes his eyes so his lashes kiss the apple of his cheek, a soft expression taking over his features. They're still shut when he ponders, “Why would I be that one?”

 You don’t have to think about it. “Because it's the brightest star in the whole sky.” 

 His brows furrow before he opens his eyes, he looks confused. “Which one are you?”

 You shrug again. He keeps asking you questions you don’t know the answers to. You don’t even like space that much. Just the idea of it. You like the idea of a lot of things. 

 “I don’t know if I’m star material.” You laugh rolling onto your back again, looking up once more. The stars look so close, right next to each other, but in reality they are so far apart. You think about how you and Jeongguk are separated by just a few inches. A foot at most. Yet in this moment, it feels like you couldn’t reach him if you tried. “I’m probably like a space rock or something. So essentially the same. Just less luxurious. People don’t make wishes on me. Space rocks are pretty pointless and useless. Just look at Yoongi. He’s a space rock too.” You’re laughing as you say it. Jeongguk’s not.

 “I shouldn’t be that one,” he whispers. “And if someone like me gets to be a star, then you get to be one too.”

 A small smile is still on your face when you gaze at him again. “Someone like you?”

 He nods.

 You giggle. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 He regards you, eyes taking every inch of your face like he’s trying to memorize you. The freckle by your eye, the faintest scar near your lip. “I think you’ll find out, eventually.” He sounds off when he answers.

 Still, you don’t hesitate. “I hope so.”

 ~~~

 The room is big but you’re sitting close to him.

 “No! No! You’re like not that bad... honestly! If the whole creative writing thing doesn’t work out you could be an idol.” 

 You know the boy next to you is lying. You know he is because your voice keeps cracking. Going flat or sharp whenever you get a turn on the mic. Pfft. You never could have been an idol. But when you glance at him, your cheeks aren’t flushed with embarrassment. They are flushed because of how much you have been laughing, because of the pink fuzzy feeling bubbling in your chest. You’ll probably burst soon. Jeongguk’s eyes are gleaming, and his lips are pursed trying to hold back his smile. Maybe it’s better that way. You wouldn’t want to be blinded. His smile too bright and full of the stars. It’s been hard to look at him the last few months. 

 “You are such a liar!” You’re giggling as you playfully swat at his shoulder. 

 But your laughter quiets when you feel his big hand grip around your tiny wrist before you can land a hit. His long fingers overlapping where they meet at your bone. Your eyes flick between the connected skin and his face and that’s when it happens. The world starts to move slower around the sun, and your heart makes up for it by beating that much faster. You see his doe eyes dance between all your features paying special mind to your lips. The tension between you both is tangible and hot, burning. And it’s going to happen. After months, ages, of stilted flirting and wavering touches and poorly hidden desire. Jeongguk is going to kiss you. 

 Your lashes are fluttering, your eyes are closing, and you’re leaning forward to meet him halfway when you hear: 

 “Do you have any?”

 Your eyes open wide to see his mirroring yours, and your breath stutters out in quiet shock. Embarrassing. 

 “W-what?” You do your best to keep your voice steady, but you’re flustered. He’s so close and his eyes are so focused. There are stars in them too. 

 The grip on your wrist tightens a bit bringing your attention to your attached limbs. Yours still raised mid-strike, his raised in mid-defense. His eyes flick to his decorated forearm. Your brows furrow. 

 “Any tattoos?” You ask. 

 Jeongguk’s little pink tongue darts out to wet his lips before he nods and lets out a small affirmative noise. 

 You flex your hand in his hold and glance at the ink all over it. He has knuckle and hand tattoos, along with random other designs littering his skin. 

 You blush. “Yeah I have a tiny black cat on my ankle… It’s supposed to be the cat from Kiki’s Delivery Service?”

 You expected him to think it was silly, childish, but he smiles instead. “Jiji?”

 You grin back and nod.

 His lips purse together and his eyes peek at your lips again. “Did it hurt?” he muses.

 You laugh a little. A breathy, incredulous thing sneaking past your lips. “I mean you know for yourself. Your whole arm is covered.” You nod your head at his arm, and your fingers twitch in his grasp, like they want to touch, trace the dark lines on his comparatively fair skin. 

 The blush that falls on his cheeks is cute, but you don’t allow yourself to dwell on it, still feeling a bit childish and silly for letting your thoughts run away from you just a moment ago. Thinking he was going to finally kiss you. Tsk. Embarrassing. 

 “It hurt yeah,” he says chuckling to himself, “But Jiji is black right? So it must be dark? That hurts worse. Especially on the ankle.” his boot-clad foot nudges up against the ankle where he knows the piece is, brushing against it gently. He doesn’t take his eyes off your face. 

 You think about the fact that he knows which ankle you have tattooed, the way he knows what technique was used on it. How he knew it was a dark, filled in tattoo, not just an outline like it very well could have been, without even having to look away from you to peek at it and double check. You think about how he asked, just to ask, despite already knowing. You think about what that could mean. You think about how he must have been paying attention to you, taking in small details about you and filing them away without you even knowing or noticing. You think about how he maybe just wants to hear you talk sometimes. The gulp is audible when you swallow down the sweet, tingly feeling that’s crawling up your throat like bile. 

 It’s only you two in the noraebang room, the distant sound from the rooms surrounding is loud, loud enough for you to speak up. And yet your voice comes out as a soft whisper when you answer. He leans closer to hear you. “It hurt at first, when he went over it, you know? But after a while... I don’t know. It felt like warm? I kind of liked it. You know... the pain.”

 All the noises of the rooms next to you cease and it’s like your ears are filled with cotton candy clouds. All the sensitivity leaving them and migrating to your other senses making them heightened. You watch with clear eyes as Jeongguk’s pupils dilate. 

 “Do you think I liked it? When it hurt, when I got all mine done?” He asks. You can’t tell if he’s being quiet on purpose or if it’s still the baby pink clouds in your ears. 

 “You might have… I know a lot of people do, but I don’t know much about you Jeongguk.”  

 And maybe it’s coincidental. The way the kiss hurts. Feels slightly painful. Bruising and desperate. Or maybe it’s intentional. Either way, the tension between you and him comes to a head. The gasp that leaves your lips is loud and sharp, you don’t even kiss back at first because you’re so dumbstruck. Lovestruck. It’s only been a few months... Embarrassing.

  Embarrassing until it’s not. Embarrassing until you get yourself together enough and start to kiss back, hands sinking into his long hair, gripping a little too hard so you have something to tether you to this earth. Embarrassing until it’s wet and sloppy but slow and dreamy all at once. Until you feel his teeth dig into your bottom lip, his tongue following to soothe the little ache that he caused, maybe by accident, maybe on purpose because you told him you liked pain. It’s embarrassing until you can’t think about how embarrassing it is. 

 Until you can’t think straight at all because the only thing going on is your mind is: this is how it feels to kiss a fucking star. Not the rich kind of star that’s dressed in designer brands and weighed down by the heaviness of the world along with too many rings and watches and chains. Not the idol kind of star either, the kind that is so carefully crafted and manufactured that it’s kind of hard to see it as a star at all when it seems more like a doll. 

 No. 

 Kissing Jeongguk is like kissing one of the stars in the sky, when they are in their rawest, purest form. The kind of star that people make wishes on when they are twinkling, when they are falling; dying. You’re dizzy and your eyes are squeezed shut so tight that little white dots are coming and going in the darkness and you think that maybe those are stars bursting right before your eyes. You hold onto the star in your hands a little tighter, kiss him just a little harder. 

 He winces from the force of your kiss and pulls away. Embarrassing. 

 When he looks at you his eyes are dark, and his chest is already heaving. 

 He licks his lips and his eyes go down to your lips, then back up almost as if asking for permission to continue. You give him the slightest nod, and that’s it. That’s all he needs.

 The noraebang seating is uncomfortable. Booth-like vinyl over barely padded benches, but you go easy as Jeongguk urges you to lay down, resting against the arm rest. His kisses are insistent and hot as he crawls over you, and settles between your open legs. 

 He’s such a good kisser. The type to cradle your face in his palms, the type to sneak his tongue inside after teasing the seam of your lips. The type to bite gently, make you whine into his mouth, and he just eats up every little noise you make and breath that you take. It feels good, even the sharp sting of his bites, even the way the armrest presses into your back when he puts his weight on you. The hand that pulls at your hair to expose your neck to him, feels good too. 

 He bites and sucks, little multicolored flowers blooming on your skin. He’s suffocating in the best way. The silence swimming around you is suffocating as well, just not in a good way. The lack of words make you feel antsy, the distant music of the neighboring booths sound muted and subdued, giving the illusion that you and Jeongguk are the only two in the world, in your own little bubble. It’s overwhelming. 

 “You’re a good kisser,” you gasp, just to break the quiet.

 You feel him smile into your neck, before he braces himself over you, looking at you smugly, yet charmingly. “You too.” he says softly. The way he rolls his hips into you, however, isn't soft at all. 

 He brings a hand down, and bunches up the material of your skirt so the only thing between you both are his layers, and your panties. You can feel him better now, can feel just how hard he is, how thick and long his cock is, rutting over your cunt. 

 You spread your legs as far as you can so that you are more open for him, his cock slipping just barely between your pussy lips over your panties, rubbing over your clit every time he grinds into you. He keeps his thrusts consistent and rough, his breath stuttering out labored and hot.

 You’re trying to keep quiet, but you can’t help the soft whines that slip past your lips. “Feels good, Koo,” you praise. 

 Your hands are gripping at his biceps, feeling the way that they flex and tremble from holding himself over you. He drops to his forearms and groans deep, burying his face in your neck. You can feel his hips start to move faster, more desperate. His breaths are puffing hot on your neck, going up in pitch at the end. He’s almost whining for you and your hips start to roll to meet his, your pussy needy and wet, craving the friction and drippy at the sound of his pleasure. His lips are alternating between biting and giving soft wet kisses.

 “Fuck, I’m not gonna last... I’m gonna cum-”Jeongguk grits out against your neck before lifting his body some to look down at your bodies where his clothed cock is grinding frantically against your panty covered pussy. 

 You can hear the desperation in his voice along with a hint of shame. 

 “That’s okay,” at the sound of your voice Jeongguk looks at you, one arm bending so he’s got his palm braced on one side of your head and his forearm on the other and you sigh out a soft pleasured sound. He looks so breathtaking. His starshine eyes are dark and wet, his fair skin is flushed and hot. There’s a bit of sweat at his hairline from how hard he’s working for his release. You wipe away a drop on his temple as you push his long hair out of his face. “You did good, you made me feel so good. Show me how good I make you feel. Please.” 

 You watch as pleasure overtakes him, the hard thrust of his hips becoming even more erratic and hectic. He’s nodding along with your praise like that’s what he needed to let go, whines and groans tumbling from his lips. He’s looking at you when his eyes start to flutter and his brows turn up in pleasure. His mouth falls open and he’s coming. Hot shots of white fill his pants and you can feel the warmth of it and the throb of his cock through the thin layers of clothes separating you.

 His head is hanging and his body is trembling with the after rush of his orgasm when he chuckles lightly. “That doesn’t normally happen. I swear.”

 You’re kind of just laying there, on the less than comfortable noraebang booth bench, with him still in between your legs. You laugh with him softly. “Been a while?” you ask.

 He shakes his head, still catching his breath and coming down, mind still a bit hazy. “No, no. You just- you’re so… different. You make me feel weird.”

 The laughter that had been floating between you slowly starts to quiet as you both seem to realize what he said at the same time. He looks at you, eyes simmering with panic, and yours look back searching and confused.

 It’s quick, the way he changes the subject, smothers you with his breath and distracts you with his soft kisses and even softer touches. Making your tongue too busy with his, to ask questions. Not that you would have asked. You play it off, threading your hands in his hair, kissing him deeply. The tiny little prickle of hurt you felt in your chest was completely forgotten as he kisses you back just as hard, like he wants to swallow you whole. 

 He brushes some hair out of your face and whispers against your lips, “I wanna make you cum.” The hand that isn’t playing with your hair is sliding down your body, before cupping over your pussy. Your panties are wet, sticking to you. You know he can feel it because he gasps, soft and small. “Fuck, please let me.” He rests his forehead on yours, and rubs at your clit over your panties. The gentle, teasing circles are the match that ignites the little flame of arousal that has been seething within your belly.

 You whisper, “What if someone comes in?”

 Your hips subtly rolling into his touch at their own accord, don’t do much to show him that you're actually worried.

 He breathes a laugh against you before placing a chaste kiss to your cheek, and then biting softly at the apple of it. “You know why people come here… so do the people who work here. No one’s gonna bother us.”

 He’s kissing your neck again, and his fingers are speeding up.

 “Is that why you brought me here?” you whisper, breath hitching on a whine.

 Jeongguk’s fingers stutter for a second before carrying on, and he looks at you with hazy lidded eyes. He has a sheepish smile on his face. “Not exactly. I wanted to hang out. But I may have been hoping for a little.” he says as he kisses you softly. “Been thinking about how you taste since that party.”

 You can’t help but moan. You’ve been thinking about it too. How it feels to be completely devastated by a star in the best, most blissful way. You manage to keep some shred of decency, though. You’re not at yours or his, and you’re not in your head this time. You’re in a very public space, even if everyone knows what goes on behind the locked doors. “N-no sex.” you bargain.

 He nods. “Can I use my mouth?” he nuzzles into your temple, and two of his fingers tap against your pussy. “Can I use it here?” he places the gentlest, teasing kisses between his words. “I’ll be quick.” he assures.

 You whine and squirm against him. “Confident?” you ask, trying to tap into your usual, quit wit. To little avail. It’s no use. You were ruined at the first taste of him, the first feel of his lips on yours. You can only imagine how they will feel in other, more secret places.

 He smiles, tongue in cheek before he shrugs lightly. “A little.”

 You roll your eyes, but when he plays with your clit again, your hips buck into his palm and he takes that as a yes and moves down your body. His hands come up to play with your boobs briefly, squeezing and rolling them in his hands. “Gonna fuck these one day, okay?” he tells you.

 Him saying that he’s gonna fuck your tits, should be vulgar. But to you it’s a promise that this is going to happen again, and it makes you high, floaty thinking about him wanting you, desiring you. Him already thinking about the next time he gets to have you when he hasn’t even finished with you this time. 

 Your brain is hazy and his touch is burning through your clothes but that’s nothing compared to the way his breath feels on your clothed cunt when he finally finds his place between your legs. You’re wet, embarrassingly so and you know your panties are sticking to your core. Your ears are still cloudy, and you’re sure you’re probably imagining it, but when Jeongguk slips his fingers into the sides of your panties to peel them away, you think you can almost hear the wetness. He grabs them from the top and starts to pull them down and off your feet. Your hands come to your face to try and hide, your legs instinctually closing.

 He’s having none of that. His hands are placed on your knees as he slides them over your thighs, chills following the path of his fingertips. He places a gentle pressure, urging you to open them. He’s a little higher than your cunt, kind of resting on your lower belly when he pulls at your hands, making you look at him. 

 “Don’t hide from me,” he says quietly. One of his hands tangles with yours as he slowly lowers himself to your pussy. He kisses and licks over your smooth, pink lips. His hand that’s holding yours squeezing every now and then when he looks up at you with his dark, lust filled eyes.

 His free hand comes down to slip between your folds, and just teases at your opening, almost like he’s playing with the little droplets of slick that are dripping from your core. Your legs open a bit more, shame and shyness steadily creeping away as you yearn for him to make you feel good. You feel him smile and peck your pussy lips before he rests his head on your thigh. He looks at you, doe-eyes filled with mirth.

 “Want my fingers, too, pretty girl?” he muses.

 You close your eyes as you nod, an exhale stutters from your chest.

 “What do you say?” he taunts.

 Eyebrows furrowed, and lips pouted, you grumble out a soft, “Please…”

 He hums before he slowly sinks his middle finger inside. It feels good right away, his finger is much longer and thicker than your own, reaching that spot inside that you always struggle to reach. Your mouth parts and the softest sigh leaves your lips. His other arm wraps around your thigh, and fingers slide between your folds from the top to spread them so your clit is exposed and ready for his tongue. When he finally tastes you, he moans along with you, before he gets to work.

 He wasn’t lying when he said it wouldn’t take long. Jeongguk’s tongue is skilled. It works fast, flicking quickly over your clit, up and down. It’s constant and wet, and it's so filthy the way his tongue on your sweet spot makes your pussy just gush all over the finger he has inside of you. 

 He sucks gently when his tongue and jaw need a break, little pulses and slurping suctions stimulating you, before he goes right back to lapping at your sensitive little bud, occasionally dipping down to lick at your center, wrapped tight around his finger. 

 He pulls your hood back a little more, placing wet kisses to your clit, tongue licking just slightly before his lips wrap around it making you jolt from the direct sensation. 

 You’re braced on your arms, looking down at him, watching him make you come apart at the seams. When he adds his ring finger, your head and eyes roll back, and your legs spread even farther, making yourself as open as you can for him. 

 “Fuck, I’m already close,” you whine, high pitched and airy. You bring a hand down and brush some of his hair out of his face, and you see him smile a little, smug as he puffs out a soft laugh. His breath is hot on you, as his tongue and lips keep playing with your clit. His fingers speed up too, curling every time they are pushed in, dragging when they pull out. He knows exactly what he’s doing, exactly how to make you fall apart.

 “You gonna cum for me baby?” he purrs against your cunt.

 Your brows are pinched in pleasure and you nod as you watch him. “Yeah, don’t stop, please,” you whisper.

 His eyes close as he drowns in you, his face pressed up against you as he licks you from an angle that is so precise and so perfect that your legs start to shake. The hand you have in his hair tightens and you pull, keeping him close as you chant quiet, lewd praises.

 “Gonna cum, Koo- oh my god-” Your mouth falls open and your eyes squeeze shut. 

 Right when you’re on the crest of pleasure, Jeongguk replaces his tongue with his fingers so he can watch you as you cum. He sees the way you're about to protest at the loss of his mouth before your body tenses and your back arches off of the bench, his fingers toying with you enough to make the rush hit you before you can even complain. 

 “Fuck, look at you baby,” he murmurs in awe. 

 His eyes are trained on your pussy, the way it clenches and contracts around his fingers. He spreads you as wide as he can so he can have the best view of your pink cunt pulsing, and dripping. His fingers slow on your clit as you start to come down and the fingers inside of you almost pet at your g-spot, milking every last bit of pleasure he can from you. 

 Slow is still overwhelming though, when you’ve just cum. It’s not long before your hands are reaching between your legs and gripping at his wrist.

 “Too much,” you cry.

 He coos, as he removes his fingers. He gently pulls at your inner lips and opens up your puffy little cunt. “She’s still pulsing around nothing…” he says. He sounds dazed, lust drunk. “Did I make you cum that hard, baby?”

 You’re still trying to catch your breath as you look down your nose at him. He’s got that effortlessly confident, cocky look on his beautifully, flushed face and you just want to kiss it off. You kick him instead.

 “Awe, don’t be mad, I’m only teasing,” he giggles as he settles himself on top of you, resting on your chest. He squeezes your tit good-naturedly. 

 “Confidence is only sexy if it’s paired with humility, which you are sorely lacking, my friend.”

 “Your special friend,” he whispers, kissing your collarbone.

 You grab his face and angle it towards you and kiss him before you can think too much about it. Before you can think about how it might scare him. The way he tenses in your hold is heart-stopping. Not in a lovesick way, but in the worst gut-wrenching way. You can almost feel the inner battle that he has within himself before he seems to give in.

 The soft sigh he moans into your mouth is so sweet, that it’s toothache inducing. The way he lets himself melt into you and the way he becomes pliant in your hold almost feels better than his tongue. With his pliancy in mind, you gingerly sit up, mouths never parting, and he goes easily with you until you’re crowding his space and eventually straddling his lap. The kiss is still soft, saccharine sweet when his hands slip under your skirt. They knead at your cheeks, pulling and squeezing admiring how plush your body is. You’re about to start working your hips over him, but he groans and gets a hold of you before you start going.

 “You already made me cum in my pants once, you are not doing it again,” he whisper scolds, while playfully nipping at your bottom lip.

 “I thought it was sexy,” you whisper back. You brush your nose against his.

 You’ve got your hands working through his hair, scratching at the nape of his neck. He hums while he pushes into your touch, eyes closing.

 “You know what else is sexy?”

 You make a soft questioning noise.

 “When you walk out of here with no panties on,” his eyes are still closed as he smirks.

 You’re jostled quickly and back on the bench instead of his lap. He’s crowding your space and when you look him over, you see your light blue panties hanging from his finger. You blush.

 “Jeongguk, you better give those back right now,” you whisper.

 He quirks an eyebrow. Then he leans in and coos into your ear, “Don’t you think it would be more fun to think about what I’m gonna do with them? How I might be planning on wrapping them around my cock the next time I touch myself? How I might be planning to cum all over them?” 

 It’s audible when you swallow down the desire crawling up your throat. You raise to your feet and head for the door.

 “You should tie your sweater around your waist, your boner is distracting and indecent,” you say with a quick backward glance. 

 Jeongguk pockets your panties, and laughs before taking your advice and catching up with you. 

 ~~~~

 winter

 “When I think of you, I think of the color pink.”

  It’s cold outside, but the apartment is warm. So is the bed. So is the body laying next him. Warm.

 Jeongguk doesn’t stay the night very often.

 He is tonight though. His head is on your chest and his fingertips are lazily running over your bare skin leaving little chills trailing behind. Your hand is in his hair. It’s getting long now, and it’s still soft, easy for you to run your fingers through, despite being bleached a week or so ago. You went with him to the appointment. 

 Jeongguk laughs a little. “That’s funny because I also think of the color pink when I think of you.”

 He doesn’t look at you when he says it, but he can tell you’re smiling, close to giggling when you respond, “Really? Why?”

 He hums and looks up at you. You look back with that look of adoration that you always have when gazing at him. His chest constricts, it’s hard to breathe when he’s with you sometimes. 

 “Because of how pretty, and pink your pu-”

 You push your hand in his face with a laugh and try to roll away from him. “God, shut up! You’re so crass.”

 You don’t get far before he’s got his hold on you. His big hands wrapping around your tiny bones. He manhandles you until you’re properly under him, hands pinned and bottom half weighed down by him straddling you. 

 “That’s not what you were saying a couple of hours ago, was it baby?” he taunts. “What was it you said? ‘Yeah, Koo… your cock feels so good, please cum inside me, fill me up.’ right?” he says, making his voice breathy and high pitched, mocking you. 

 He presses into your cheek, nips at your ear as he teases, basking in the way that your cheeks blush red, incandescent. Warm, just like the apartment, like the bed. Like the whole of your body underneath him. 

 You’re there often, under him. Sometimes on top of him, next to him, in front of him. He kisses you, chaste yet thorough, and you keen, hands fighting against his hold like you want to touch.

 Again, he relishes in your reaction. He relishes in everything about you, everything you do, all of the time. The way that you’re witty and sarcastic when you’re out and about. The way you constantly talk about things as if you’re painting a picture with your words, carefully choosing each syllable. 

 Versus the way you get when you’re just with him. Sometimes still witty, a visionary, but mostly shy, sweet, and like the most delicate flower in his destructive hands. He tries to be gentle with you, he really does. But he’s a creature of habit; and he has a habit of being rough, a habit of hurting and ruining pretty things. He hates that about himself. But it’s almost subconscious, he never realizes he’s doing it, ruining it, until it’s too late.

 But he’s been transparent with you. It’s not his fault that you always seek him out, and it’s not his fault that you’re the sun, always there in a sense, in his mind. It’s not his fault that he’s grown to crave your comfort, your presence. Even at night when you’re not physically with him and the sun has set but his bed still has lingering warmth on the side that’s not his; even then, you’re still there in the recesses of his mind, just like the sun is still in the sky even if it can’t be seen, even if the moon has taken its place for the night. Or a star, as you would say. It’s not his fault.

 His hands release yours, and one comes up to your cheek, thumb rubbing over the apple. Your hand comes down and holds at his inked wrist as your lashes flutter. His eyes scan the entirety of your face before a lopsided grin starts to form on his lips. He tilts his head a little. 

 “And why do you think of pink?” Jeongguk asks.

 He watches as you flush even darker, the smallest scowl falling over your features, a little wrinkle forming between your brows. He bites his lip to keep from laughing at you.

 “You think I’m gonna tell you now?” you spout.

 He doesn’t give in, knowing you just want to bicker. He knows you do that, pick fights, just because you want attention, just want him focused on you. You’d never admit to being the bratty type, but he knows you well. In that sense at least. Instead he hums, pecks your nose. “That’s okay. You don’t have to tell me, I just like that you’re thinking about me.”

 “Do you think about me too?”

 Sometimes you scare him. When you ask him questions like that. In that soft, sweet, hopeful tone. When you give him those tender looks and touch him with hands that are too gentle for someone like him, like you think he’s the one that might break between the two of you. 

 “Too much,” he murmurs honestly.

 You smile and you look like you’re going to say something, but Jeongguk’s quick to change the subject.

 “You should let me tattoo you.”

 “No way!” you say instantly, swatting at his chest. He shifts and rests most of his weight on you, buries his face into your skin. You smell like your body wash, along with a little bit of him. Vanilla and JK.

 “Why not? Do you doubt my craft?” he teases, mock offense lacing his tone.

 “Maybe if you actually went to your apprenticeship every once in a while, instead of skipping to go to those lame parties, I wouldn’t,” you tease back.

 He snorts. “Jokes on you, I skipped it tonight to hang out with your lame ass.”

 You smack him gently again. “Jeongguk!”

 You’re giggling freely, body shaking underneath him and he can’t help but grin at the sound. “Maybe if you let me work on you, I would be more motivated to practice.”

 You hum thoughtfully, eyes crinkled as you try to suppress your laughter. “Fine, but only if you let me tattoo you too.”

 He knows you think that will deter him, but still, he doesn’t even hesitate. “Deal, baby.”

 You laugh at him again, loud and overly bright for a few moments until you realize that he’s not laughing with you. The way your face settles into a confused pout finally breaks Jeongguk’s straight face and makes him chuckle. Your brows are pinched and your eyes are wide.

 “Y-you’re not serious…” your incredulous laugh putters out. “Are you?”

 “Of course I’m serious.”

 And he is. Jeongguk doesn’t know why he is, or why he wants it so badly now that he’s put the idea out there. It was a joke at first, just something to fill the air, to interrupt you before you could say something scary again. But he does. Maybe it’s masochistic. Maybe he just wants something that will remind him of you when whatever it is that's between you two inevitably ends. Because he knows even the brightest of flames burn out eventually. 

 Or perhaps it’s a sadistic desire. Perhaps he wants to be inked into your skin, somewhere secret, so that the next time someone sees you in the same way that he’s seeing you now, they will ask about it, and consequently remind you of him. You’ll still think about him, even when others are with you, trying to hold your attention. Even when you’re trying to forget him. 

 “Matching ones?” you whisper.

 He nods. “Yeah, friendship tattoos.”

 Jeongguk doesn’t miss the way your face falls for the briefest of moments, how your lips part and the softest, tiniest, dejected sigh leaves your lips, before he quickly kisses away the disappointment. It’s bitter on his tongue.

 “Special friendship tattoos,” he amends. Another light kiss. He wonders if it tastes like gasoline to you too. The shadow’s from the candle on your nightstand dance across your skin. Best to be careful with gasoline kisses next to an open flame. “We can get stars.”

 You’re quiet for a moment, mouth dropping down in a pensive frown. “It has to be small. And somewhere where no one can see it on me.”

 He smiles big, and his heart skips a devastating beat when he sees how you instinctively smile back. “Don’t worry, I plan on putting it somewhere very private,” he purrs.

 “You are not tattooing my pussy or my ass, Koo.”

 “Not there!” he laughs, “I meant like by your tit or something.” 

 Jeongguk starts to kiss down your body, he’s always kissing you when you’re together. He stops in the center of your chest on your sternum.

 “We could do it here,” a wet kiss just to the side of your heart. He can feel it, how it speeds up because of his mouth, his hands, him. He travels a little lower.

 At your ribs, just under the curve of your breast, he stops again. “Or here.” Another kiss where his tongue tastes you before his lips even touch. 

 He makes it to your belly button, just about to move to your hip before you speak up.

 “I liked it there, on my ribs,” you say, voice a little wispy, higher pitched than normal. He notes that your chest is rising and falling just a bit faster than before.

 “I’m not finished yet,” he says, looking up at you through his bangs and his lashes, trying to go for stern, but the humor in his voice gives him away.  

 Your bottom lip is pulled between your teeth as you try and silence your laughter. 

 Jeongguk places a kiss here, a kiss there all over your silken skin. Little kiss marks shine when the candlelight hits them just right. He bites every now and then too, unable to control himself when he gets to the softest part of your lower belly, and the inside of your thighs. He even kisses Jiji on your ankle. He’s gripping your foot and you wiggle your toes in his hold

 “Is Kiki your favorite?” He asks distractedly, lips still playing on your skin, he’s starting to make his way back up now.

 “Spirited Away,” you correct softly, on a giggle as Jeongguk hikes your legs up around his waist. You wrap your arms around his back, and he shivers when you run your nails over his shoulder blades, goosebumps making a short appearance. When he rolls his hips into your pussy, you gasp. He inhales it, breathing in your pleasure. It makes him throb, hard and hot against you. “I’m still wet inside from earlier,” you whisper.

 He groans into the kiss he brandishes your lips with. He ruts harder into you, bringing a hand down between your bodies, and gripping the base of his cock so that he can rub the tip against your clit. He feels how wet you are, with your slick as well as his cum from just a little bit ago. He tsks, scolds you playfully. “I know, I can feel it. So messy.” He’s smiling when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth.

 Your eyes are fluttering when you ask, “What’s your favorite?”

 Jeongguk’s distracted, of course he is. How could he not be when you're mewling underneath him, squirming from the tip of his cock swirling around your clit? He humors you. “Howl’s Moving Castle,” he says as he pushes the head in before hissing and pulling back out. He does it a few times, teasing himself with your cunt.

 When you laugh, it catches him off guard. Enough to make him pause and look up at you with a dumb smile on his face, just grinning because he somehow made you laugh, and the sound of it is nice.

 “That would be your favorite.”

 “What’s that supposed to mean?” He spits into his hand, slicks himself up, rubs a little on your pussy.

 “You’re just-” You gasp when his fingertips graze your clit. He gasps when you spread your legs wider for him, sweet and eager, just like always. “You’re just like him. Charming, confident…”

 “Go on,” he grins into your neck, sucking a little bruise. You tilt your head so he can reach better.

 “Vain…”

 “Slow down.”

 You giggle. “Stealing hearts and eating them.”

 He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder. He braces some of his weight on your thigh, tests your flexibility as he hovers over you, lips brushing yours lightly, teasing. He gives in when you crane your neck to reach him. “I haven’t eaten yours, have I?” He muses.

 Your hand comes up and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. “No, not yet.” 

 You pause and look at him with one of those soft, terrifying looks. He knows you don’t even realize how scary it is, when you look at him like that.

 “Maybe I’ll be the one to steal your heart, hmm?” your head tilts, and you smile at him faint and cute. It’s meant to be playful, but Jeongguk can already feel his heart clawing its way up his throat. “You who swallowed a falling star, o' heartless man, your heart shall soon be mine,” you quote, tease, with a giggle.

 Jeongguk goes rigid on top of you. His heart is beating fast in his chest, loud in his ears. He kisses you, hard. Bruising like the first time. Hopefully you take it as eagerness. 

 “Stop talking,” he whispers, begs against your lips. 

 When he slides into you, he can’t help but wonder if you remember that that was the curse the wicked witch placed on Howl to trap him. 

 ~~~

 There’s something about Jeongguk that makes people drawn to him. He’s charming, enrapturing,  in every sense of the word. Makes people feel special. His laugh is infectious, loud and often more entertaining than the original joke when he does that thing where he claps his hands, or falls to his knees if it’s funny enough. Being around someone like that is refreshing. He’s captivating and easy to be around, easy to love. He’s such a bright light no matter where he goes, a beacon to those in his vicinity.

  And he’s so, so kind. To everyone that speaks to him. Even to those that don't speak and just look, he offers a kind smile. When someone has his attention, they have it all, his big doe-eyes holding eye contact, nodding to let them know he’s listening and being attentive. He’s a good person. A little hard to understand, hard to get close to. So people say, so you’ve learned. But he’s good. Not much is known about stars, anyway. 

 You’re watching him right now, always watching. You’re on another stained sofa in a different house than the one you usually went to with your knees pulled to your chest, a cup of beer resting on your knee. He’s chatting with someone, looks like the guy is showing him his tattoos. Jeongguk smiles, looks enthused, points to one that he must like based on his reaction. Then he’s holding up his own forearm, pointing to a small piece of ink, and then of course, he’s pointing at you.

 Just before coming here, you and him had been at his tattoo shop. He drew the most beautiful, intricate little shooting star into your ribs. A little fireball attached to a long trail of stardust, smaller little twinkles falling off of it. It was simple clean line work, lines thin and dark. And then you drew two of the most basic five pointed stars on him, in a small blank space of his already existing sleeve. 

 You warned him, told him you couldn’t draw a straight line with a ruler, let alone a heavy, vibrating tattoo gun. But he assured you he wanted it, that he needed to get that spot filled anyway. 

 Though both stars are small, one is bigger than the other. 

 ‘This one is you,’ you had said, pointing to the larger star, ‘and this one is me,’ you continued, moving to point to the smaller one. 

 ‘Is it?’ Jeongguk had asked, a teasing smile gracing his mouth as he leaned into you. 

 ‘Yeah,’ you had breathed against his lips. 

 Your soft kisses turned to soft touches, touches that transformed into soft moans. Right there in the parlor.

 He’s talking louder now, getting excited. “Look how good her lines are! I didn’t even have to help her that much…” he goes on and on and you smile into your cup. 

 It was actually a really shitty tattoo. Lopsided, with the points of the stars all different lengths. But hearing him praise you, express how much he actually likes it? It makes your heart burn, glowing bright pink in your chest. You get up and sonder over to him.

 He smiles as he sees you, opens his arm up for you to tuck yourself into his side. His arm going over your shoulder, and yours going around his waist. You rest your empty hand on his tummy, can feel how it tenses as he laughs. 

 “Ah, my little artist herself!” he says.

 “That’s a stretch,” you deny, looking towards the guy across from you, “Namjoon right?”

 He nods. “Yeah the one who has spent the last 5 years in school studying medicine and plants,” his voice holds a twinge of regret, a longing for life that isn’t run by tests and grading scales.

 You laugh lightly. Ah, the botany guy. “Graduate program?” you ask.

 He nods again.

 You tap your fingers on Jeongguk’s stomach, trying to think of something else to say. “Oh! Do you know Yoongi? He’s not in the same plant… program or whatever but he’s doing a graduate program too.”

 Namjoon smiles. “I don’t know him aside from the parties he shows up at sometimes, but I’ve heard of him around campus. Where is he by the way? You usually have him and Tae with you when you show up here right?”

 Your brow furrows as you take another sip of your drink, readjusting yourself so your back is against Jeongguk’s chest. He rests his hands on your hips, and cheekily pushes against your ass. You ignore him. “I actually don’t know? We haven’t hung out in a while...” you hum contemplatively while you play with your bottom lip. You look up at Jeongguk. “Do you know? Jimin’s not here either.”

 He shrugs, expression bored. “Jimin said he has something to do tonight, maybe he’s finally sucking Tae’s dick. And you know Yoongi hates these parties almost as much as you.”

 You pout still, but Namjoon swiftly changes the subject.

 “Anywho, you’re a tattoo artist now?” he tilts his drink in the direction of Jeongguk’s arm, his smile playful and knowing. “Must be pretty special to be able to get behind the gun and work on this one. He’s a snob.”

 You’re about to deny it once again but Jeongguk interrupts you with a snort. “Obviously she’s special, we are special friends.”

 Namjoon’s eyebrows raise and you laugh a little. Your eyes sparkle when you look up at the blonde behind you. “Are you drunk?”

 He grumbles and wraps his arms around you tighter before mumbling into your neck. “No… not really, but I am horny,” he whispers.

 You tut at him, scolding with a whisper, “I literally just jerked you off earlier.”

 You’re swiftly ignored as he turns his attention back to Namjoon, “If you’ll excuse us, we have to put aquaphor on our tattoos.”

 You send Namjoon an apologetic smile, but he just laughs, turning to head in the direction of the kitchen. 

 Jeongguk’s hand is tight when it grips yours, a vice like hold as he drags you through the house. It’s at a frat this time, so the upstairs is lined with bedrooms. People are littered through the hall, and in the open bathroom you can see a girl cutting a line on the porcelain sink. The guy behind her holds her hair for her. A modern romance, like a scene from a movie. There are the stereotypical socks on door knobs, and thankfully the music is way too loud and the bass is boosting so you can't hear what’s going on behind the doors. You almost run into Jeongguk’s back when he comes to a stop in front of a locked door void of any sock.

 “Jeongguk,” you hiss, “we can’t just have sex in a random person’s room.”

 He’s somehow procured a key and gets the door open. “Yes we can, but this isn’t someone random’s room, it’s Jimin’s. He lets me use it sometimes.”

 He doesn’t notice the slip of the tongue, once again, but it leaves an icky taste in your mouth. Thick and unpleasant on your tongue. But you know in due time the taste will change, into one of starlight, heady and intoxicating, and so wholly Jeongguk. 

 “Jimin goes to uni? I never see him on campus,” you wonder aloud tentatively taking a step through the threshold. It looks like a typical college boys room. A desk with a computer and school work scattered all over. A floor littered with shoes and clothes, along with a nightstand that has the lamp, the lotion bottle, and the kleenex box that sit on top of it. You laugh to yourself. Weird. 

 “Mmm, he’s enrolled and goes just enough to not get kicked out so he can keep getting his student loans and living here,” he replies as he locks the door. 

 Immediately he’s backing you into the bed, urging you to lay down. He stays close, lips on yours, hands hastily pushing your shirt up and over your head so your top half is bare under him. He pauses while straddling you, looks at you with hooded eyes, taking in the way your long hair fans out against the grey sheets of Jimin’s bed. With eyes raking over your skin, his tongue peeks out to lick at his lips subconsciously as he fondles your tits.

 “You’re so sexy, your body is so nice,” He pinches your nipples, making them pebble between his finger tips, “love the way you respond to me,” he purrs.

 You make a soft embarrassed sound as you blush and bring your hands to your face to hide.

 Like every time you try to hide from him, he pulls your hands away and gives you a sly yet sweet smile. He looks down at you, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Why do you still get so shy with me? Hmm?” With your hands in his, he brings them to his clothed torso, urging you to touch him. 

 His mouth parts when you graze his nipples, and he breathes out a tiny, pleased laugh. “I get the same way for you, can’t you feel it?” He trails your hands down even farther, until they are rubbing against the bulge in his jeans. He sighs, head hanging back, letting you pleasure him for just a moment.

 You go to undo his belt but he stops you. “Not yet,” he says as he swats your hand away. He kneels down, kisses and sucks at your collarbones, as he grinds softly into your lower belly, quiet little sighs sneaking out between his kisses. 

 He’s slowly moving down your body until he gets to the new tattoo, fresh and vibrant against your skin, the edges still a little red. He gently runs a finger over it, before kissing next to it, all around it. “I love it, do you love it?” he murmurs, doe-eyes jumping between the ink and your face.

 You run a hair through his blonde locks, brushing them out of his face. “Yeah, you did such a good job, thank you.”

 He hums and you feel him smile into your ribs before making his way a little lower. You stop him by pulling at the hair you have a grip on.

 “Wait, I wanna- you always take care of me…” you look at his cock. “Let me?” you ask.

 He sits back up and regards you like he’s debating on letting you have your way with him before he huffs and shuffles off the bed. He stands at the edge and rids himself of his shoes and socks and you watch as you follow his example. 

 Next he gets rid of his shirt. You take him in, admiring the lithe, trim cut of his small waist, how his jeans and belt rest on his hip bones, the lightest little fuzz of hair that travels down his lower belly. The very obvious hard on pushing against the zip. You crawl over and sit on the edge of the bed in front of him. He cradles your face and your eyes flutter shut at the touch.

 “You wanna take care of me, my baby? Wanna make me feel good?” 

 You nod as you take his arm into your hold, glancing at him through your lashes before pressing a sweet kiss next to the tattoo you gave him. He coos.

 “C’mere,” he says, applying light pressure with the hand on your face.

 Up close you can see the flush that has taken over his skin. He has little droplets of sweat forming at his hairline. It’s always so hot at these parties. Maybe it’s because you’re always with him when you attend. He’s always burning so bright, fiery hot. 

 The hand on your face pinches your cheek sweetly, and now, your cheeks are warm too. He laughs a little before he kisses you. “I know just how you can make me feel good, pretty,” he says against your lips, biting quick and sharp.

 He threads a hand in your hair at the back of your head and guides your mouth to his neck. “You can kiss me here,” he sighs, extending it so you have more room. “And here,” down to his collarbones.

 You kiss and suckle softly at the bone that protrudes, and pull the thin skin between your teeth for just a second. You moan when Jeongguk hisses and the hold in your hair tightens. Pulling away, you look up at him. He looks down his nose at you, bites his lip before he smirks a little.

 “You wanna mark me, don’t you? Was the tattoo not enough?” he answers the unspoken question swimming in your eyes, while simultaneously teasing. He’s acting cocky, but his voice is airy and has a bit more vibrato than normal, giving away how aroused he is. 

 You nod eagerly. Of course you want to mark him, of course the tattoo wasn’t enough. Maybe you’re greedy, or maybe you’re just in love. But you don’t think it will ever be enough; a part of you will always yearn for more. He takes his time searching your face before he nods a single, short time. 

 Jeongguk doesn't usually let you mark him, and if he does, he’s usually particular about where. This fuels you, and you sink your teeth into his faintly sun kissed skin, rolling it between your teeth harshly, sucking until you’re sure that his skin has turned the color of the prettiest violet. 

 When you lick at your work to help ease the ache, a moan gets caught in his throat. You rub your thighs together. His noises always get to you, always make your pussy weep inside of your panties. With his chest rising and falling rapidly, he pulls you off and pushes you back onto the bed, a little forcefully, but you don’t mind. He’s always been a little rough with you. Stars are known to be destructive from time to time. 

 He crowds your space, taking a spot in between your open legs. Being sat on the bed, his abdomen is eye level, and he pulls you to his tummy when he twines both his hands in your hair again. You lick the center line off his abs before you kiss, wet and open mouthed.

 “Yeah, kiss me there,” he moans. 

 You peek up quickly, and see that his head is tilted back again, blissfully letting your mouth work over his skin. His hands in your hair massage at your scalp encouragingly. Gentle and subconscious with his movements. His abs tense and jump when you nibble at one of the bumps of muscle, and he pushes into you, eager, maybe a little desperate. Although he would never admit that. 

 He holds you there, guiding you where he wants you till he’s pleased and backs away from the bed enough for you to have space on the floor when you drop to your knees.

 Your pussy pulses, gets a fluttery heart beat of its own, as you watch Jeongguk undo his belt. Anticipation makes you sink a hand between your thighs, makes you press and put a little pressure on your cunt to give you just a bit of relief. 

 His hands are big and strong, and the glint of the belt buckle matches the glint of the rings that decorate his fingers. The glint of the zipper as he pulls it down. He rubs himself over his boxers, shimmying his jeans down just little as he does it.

 “Do you wanna kiss me here too?” He’s smiling a tiny smile, talking quietly as his fingertips play with the tip of his cock. He sounds a little breathless too. 

 “Please,” you all but whimper, mouth watering.

 He hums, while he drags his briefs down his length until it springs out and bounces back to his tummy. He sighs when he starts to stroke himself with one hand, the other settling on your face, petting a little before he taps an open palm on it.

 You try to hold in the moan, but when his hand connects with your skin again, just a little harder than before, you can’t. It makes Jeongguk’s hand on his cock speed up. His mouth parts in awe. Gripping your jaw, he pushes it side to side, and you just let him. You let him play with you like a little doll. Another teasing smack lands on your face.

 He sighs, lust filled and dreamy. “God, you’d let me do whatever I want to you, wouldn’t you?” His thumb is running over the slightly reddened skin of your cheek. You nod in his hold. 

 You would. It’s scary to think about, the extent you feel like you’d go to, to have him, what you’d let him do, let him get away with.

 He brings his cock to your lips, but pulls it back when you try to suckle it. You pout, and then he taps the tip of it against your lips, groaning when he says, “Yeah, I know you would, you’re so good to me, so perfect,” he taps the length of his cock on your cheek a few times, he marvels at the little string of precum that connects his tip to the apple of your cheek. 

 His cock feels thick and hot and a pleasant kind of heavy on your cheek, much like how it feels on your tongue. When he finally lets you taste him, you start by curling your tongue around the crown, licking up some of the precum that has dribbled from his slit. You love it when he leaks for you. It shows you what you do to him, how bad he wants you. He confirms it when he sighs small affirmations.

 “That’s it, such a good girl for me.”

  You look at him, smiling a little at the praise, tongue teasing his slit, and his face makes your pussy throb. His mouth is parted and his eyes are hooded, like he wants to close them, bask in the pleasure, but keeps them open because the desire to watch you with his cock in your mouth outweighs it. He pushes his hips forward.

 “Suck it, baby,” he whispers, soft and salacious as he guides the tip past your lips, little by little until it touches the back of your throat.

 You’re confident about a few things, but your head game is close, if not at the top of your list. Little to no gag reflex to hold you back, mouth wet and sloppy as you drool all over his length. Tongue skilled as it moves up and down the sensitive vein running on the underside, while your throat contracts around his tip. 

 His hips stutter like he’s gonna pull out before he pushes in as far as he can, hands forming a makeshift ponytail with your hair as he holds you down, buries your nose in the coarse patch of groomed hair at the base of his cock. He moans, whines, high pitched and loud. He pulls out of your throat with a gasp.

 “Fuck, your mouth,” he drools, praises. 

 He gives you a second to catch your breath, admires the way your eyes are glassy with tears, mascara smudging the slightest bit, surely to be running by the time he’s done with you. You love it when he fucks you hard enough to make you cry, hard enough to make your makeup run. It shows how well he did it, how badly he made you fall apart. He’s got a few pictures on his phone of you looking ruined and fucked out. He says you look so pretty like that, with teary eyes, a messy face, and hair knotted from being fucked into the mattress. 

 Then he’s fucking your mouth. Hand coming down to your neck so he can feel the way his cock fills it up every time his hips snap forward. His body curls over yours some as he bends a little to reach your neck, and you can feel the heat from his body ignite the air around you as he slides deeper, inch by inch . 

 Every time he pulls out you take a quick breath through your nose, before he’s pushing in again, your throat like a spit-slick cocksleeve designed specifically for him. The perfect amount of wet and the tightest type of grip. His breathing is audible and ragged above you, harsh huffs, and occasional moans color the air when you swallow around him. His cock is so hard and hot in your mouth, throbbing and pulsing on your tongue. 

 Your hands are on his thighs and you can feel them tense, almost tremble as he pulls your head down onto him over and over again. He’s less considerate now, stingy with the breaths he allows you to take while he chases that high.  He’s groaning loud and unabashed, and you’re choking, bubbles of spit forming at the corners of your mouth and around the base of his cock. He holds you down one more time, shaking your head by the ponytail so that the tip of his cock rubs against the back of your throat then he’s hastily pulling you off.

 You rest your forehead on his lower belly, trying to catch your breath. You can feel him too, getting a hold of himself, due to the expanding of his stomach as he takes deep breaths. He still has his hands on you, touching just like always, running his fingers through your hair. Until he’s pulling you up by it.

 He’s quick to get his lips on you, and his tongue is quick to slide into your mouth. When he tastes himself on you, he sighs, smiles into the kiss. With hands cupping your face, you smile back, basking in the attention and sweet affection. You reach your hand down and grab his cock and his hips jerk. He pulls away at first before subtly fucking into your hand and moaning. You drink it down like the sweetest champagne, his sounds intoxicating in their own right. 

 “Fuck,” he whispers as he rests his forehead against yours, “wanted to cum in that mouth so bad… wanna cum in your hand right now,” he pushes a long slow thrust into your palm, his foreskin sliding with his movements. He sounds like it’s so difficult to hold back, to keep from cumming right there in the palm of your hand.  “You’ve got me so hot baby, wanna cum inside you…” He places the softest, pleading kiss to your lips. 

 It almost sounds like a question, his voice light and airy, lilting up at the end. Soft and gentle as he brushes his nose against yours, a gesture that is as painful as it is sweet, a touch too tender for what you both are. But it makes you keen in his hold, body pressing to his, as close as you can get. 

 Your hands are running over him, and his running over you, just taking up each other’s space, breathing each other’s breaths. His hands slide to your hips and spin you around so you’re facing the bed, a little rough, impatient, as they yank your pants and panties down. They knead at your ass, when you lower to your forearms and arch your back, presenting yourself to him. 

 Jeongguk drops to his knees behind you, spreads your cheeks so he can see your cunt, pretty and pink and glistening. He rubs his two first fingers in between your plush lips, and your legs spread wider. You push back into his touch.

 “Just fuck me, please, I can’t wait,” you breathe.

 He hums, plays with your pussy a little more before you feel him spit on it. Then he buries his face into you, tongue coming out and licking from your clit, to your core, all the way to your hole between your spread cheeks. He swirls his tongue around it and you peep, the feeling oddly pleasant, but unexpected. Jeongguk huffs a little laugh  while he pulls away. He sheds his pants, and you follow suit, before settling atop the bed, once more on all fours.

 His big hands fall on your ass, jiggling it a little. He groans at the way the fatty part ripples before settling back into place. Gripping his cock with one hand and pulling a cheek to the side with the other, he rubs the tip between your silky lips. The sloppy, wet noises fill the room, loud and clear. The sound of the distant chatter and subdued party music outside the door is distant, barely there, all your focus on Jeongguk. He hisses as he watches his cock sink inside of you.

 “So wet…” he rasps out as he fucks into you with shallow thrusts. He can see your arousal shiny and sticky on his cock, no lube needed.

 You nod as your head dips, hanging between your forearms. He bottoms out and you let out a high pitched whine. “Yeah, want you so bad, Koo…”

 He stays buried to the hilt for a moment, hands running over your ass, your back, squeezing at the smallest part of your waist. His touch feels so good, electric on your skin. But you’ve felt his cock before, many times, and you’re no stranger to how good that feels. It makes you lean forward, makes you drag your cunt up his length, before you push yourself back onto it. 

 Jeongguk gasps, hands squeezing hard at the motion. “Fuck… keep doing that.”

 You whimper as your work your pussy over him, throwing your hips back, fast and consistent. Getting high off the sounds Jeongguk is making behind you. The soft curses, the loud groans when you start to circle your hips slightly. The way he just lets you make him feel good. 

 You collapse onto the bed, arms giving out due to the pleasure coursing through your body, and you turn your face to the side, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. His palm settles on the small of your back, halting your movements so that he can snap his hips forward, punching pleased gasps from you. You turn your face into the sheets, trying to quiet yourself. 

 He doesn’t like that apparently. If the hand gripping your hair and yanking is enough to go by.

 His body is over yours, chest to your back as he fucks into you with short, hard thrusts. “Wanna hear you pretty girl, want everyone to hear you,” he whispers in your ear.

 You squirm in his hold, slowly getting overwhelmed by the way his body is making you feel, by the way you slowly climb higher and higher until you feel like you could touch the stars. “Feels… so good…” 

 “Yeah, I fuck you the best don’t I?” he purrs, “Better than anyone before me? Better than anyone will after me too, right? Always gonna want this cock, aren’t you?”

 You whine because you know it’s true. You know no matter what you do or what happens between you and Jeongguk, he’s always going to live in your head, always going to have a place in your heart, your body is always going to remember him and long for him. Not even just in a sexual sense either. You think he knows this all too well.

 He pulls out of you with a ragged breath before situating himself on his side behind you. He urges you to push yourself against him, back to his front, spooning. He grips the thigh of your top leg, pulls it up to your chest.

 “Keep them open,” he instructs.

 You do as he says, looking down your body where you see him bring the tip of his cock to your center again. He’s watching you though, braced on his elbow, while his free hand guides himself into you. The way your eyes roll back before squeezing shut with knitted brows makes Jeongguk sigh, the way your mouth drops open when he pushes in the last few inches makes him moan.

 He’s going slow. Long, punctuated plunges into your cunt. He’s got his face buried in the place where your neck meets your shoulders. Breathing out lewd moans, his grip on your hip tightens as he bites and kisses at your throat, breath scalding as he pants into your skin.

 “Love your pussy, fuck…” he brings skilled fingers to your clit and starts to massage with tight constant circles. You buckle in his hold, glance down at his hand again, watching as he touches you just the way you like, the way he knows you like. The way he knows will get you shaking in no time.

 “Please let me cum,” you beg.

 He hasn’t purposefully been edging you, but you’re worked up. Usually he fingers you, goes down on you, before you even get his cock inside of you. But due to the change in routine today and the lack of stimulation, the pressure in your core has been building quick, almost putting you at your breaking point already. 

 He’s well aware, voice teasing yet aroused when he coos, “You wanna cum baby? Yeah, you do?” 

 You twist in his hold some so that you can look at him, show him the tears in your eyes, hoping that they convey how badly you want to do just that. 

 His eyes are shiny too, pleasure so raw and apparent in them. He kisses you, licks into your mouth as he keeps that slow pace to his hips. The one that’s so deep, the one that brushes your sweet spot inside every time he glides against your sensitive walls. 

 “Want you to cum too,” he says it with a sigh, like he’s so close, just needs you to finish him off, “you’ve got me so… think I could cum just from being inside you while you cream on my cock, just from feeling that messy little cunt cum around me,” he’s moaning as he speaks, his hips losing rhythm, speeding up some as he gets closer.

 You nod, the hand you're leaning on holding tight at the sheets, the other keeping your legs spread. “Yeah, want you to cum inside me, cum with me…” Your eyes are closed, and your voice is kind of delirious as you feel it all come to a head. Your pussy is already tightening around him.

 He hisses. “There you go, that’s it baby… can feel how close you are,” his hips have almost stopped, just the smallest, minute little thrusts still going. He brings the fingers on your clit down to your leaking cunt just for a second getting them nice and wet before circling your bud again, faster, a little harder than before. Focusing on your pleasure, on making you finish. You keen as the leg you're holding up starts to shake.

 “Gonna cum,” you warn, the hand that was gripping the sheets coming up to your tit to play with your nipple.

 Jeongguk curses on a moan, “Yeah, fuck… me too.”

 He feels it, the way your body goes tense before you let go. How you tremble against him as your orgasm rushes through you, moans and whimpers falling from your lips. Your pussy clenching around his cock is what sends him over the edge. 

 “Fuck, I’m cumming-” he gasps out quickly, before biting down on your shoulder, grunts of pleasure muffled as he fucks into you as deep as he can, repeatedly, with those small thrusts. You feel his cock throb inside of you, cum filling you up. 

 You smile, serene and spent when he goes limp behind you. His arm comes around your waist, pulls you closer. He keeps his cock tucked inside. You run your fingertips over his arm and feel the slight scabbing of the stars on his skin.

 He shivers at the touch. Sitting up some, he curls over you. Your eyes are still closed, content, chest still rising and falling with your deep breaths. He leans in and kisses you, so sweet. Tastes like rose petals dipped in sugar. 

 He’s still on your lips when he mutters, “Now we have to figure out a way to get out of here without getting any cum on Jimin’s sheets.”

 You giggle, nod, and then kiss him again. You’ll clean up in a little. 

 It’s deliberate, the way you choose not to think about the reason why he wants to clean up, get going. How he doesn’t want to stay the night with you. 

 ~~~

 “I want you to get out a pen and a piece of paper and then clear off the rest of your belongings.”

 School is back in session, winter break ending far too soon. It’s your last semester, your degree is so close you can almost taste it, with only 3 classes left till you’re walking the stage in your cap and gown. One of the classes is a writing class that you saved till the end of your university run so you had something to look forward to. 

 It’s a Thursday afternoon and you’re sitting in the back of your Creative Writing lecture hall. Someone’s eating so it smells disgustingly of peanut butter and the seats are filled with college students who just rolled out of bed at 12pm, everyone slightly disheveled and the crowd lackluster as the professor paces the front of the room. She’s quickly become one your favorites however, the last few weeks in her class proving to be entertaining as well as educational. You paw your sweater sleeve up in your fist and hold it to your nose and lean forward attentively.

 “Now, I want you to think about someone you love. It can be a real person, fictional, completely imaginary. Dead or alive. Old or young. Doesn’t matter. You just have to love them.”

 Of course starry doe-eyes flash in your mind. A crooked grin that pulls down a little farther on the right side. The centered mole just under his bottom lip that you kiss softly, so often when he’s distracted. The scar on his cheek that you run your fingers over when he’s resting on you. You do love Jeongguk, you have for a while now.

 “Write that person’s name at the top. They are going to be the model of basis and foundation for one of the characters in the short story project that we have due mid-April. So you’ve got approximately 2 months to finish it.” 

 A chorus of groans sound around the hall. The boy in front of you rests his head on his arms, looking defeated.

 “Hey,” your professor laughs, “this is the last year for most of you and this is the only project you have this semester. And it was in the syllabus. Not sure why you all sound so despondently surprised. You didn’t really think you would get through the whole course without one did you?” she inquires, still pacing the front of the room with a quirked brow.

 You honestly don’t mind. It will be a good distraction when you’re left to entertain yourself. Jeongguk’s actually been more on top of his apprenticeship attendance lately. It’s a good thing of course, but you don’t see him as much as you used to. That’s not to say that you aren’t together an incessant amount, just a bit less than normal. You scribble a tiny ‘jk ♡’ at the top of your paper.

 “Now with your muse in mind, I’m going to ask you a series of questions so that we can get some finite details about your fictional character on paper for you to use and reference as you’re writing,” she pauses, clicks to another slide on the projector. “What is their favorite color?”

 After writing the question you pause. Surely it’s black right? That’s basically the only color he wears. Maybe blue? You had helped him color his hair navy just a few days ago, the stains on your pillow a blueberry colored reminder every night… Still, you go with your first instinct, scrawling ‘black’ on the lined paper.

 “Their birthday?”

 You’re quick to answer this one, he’s a Virgo, so his birthday is… A small frown starts to tug at the corners of your lips. What day in September did he say? Did he ever say? Did you guys ever even actually talk about birthdays? ‘Virgo’ gets written next to question 2.

 “Are they close to their parents? Closer to the mother or father? Are they estranged? If you know why, please elaborate.”

 You know you don’t know this one. Fairly certain Jeongguk hasn’t even mentioned them in passing.

 “What role, or character archetype are they playing in your story?” she clasps her hands in front of her. “Are they the hero? The love interest? The villain?”

 You answer that one hastily.

 A few more questions are asked, some that you can answer, some that you can’t. They gradually get deeper, more personal as your professor carries on with them.

 “Okay. Now I want you to think hard about this character, and about the muse you’ve crafted them after. Could you answer all of the questions I asked?” She moves a weighted gaze around the room. You feel like she’s looking directly at you when she speaks again. “Do you really love the person you chose for the basic character prototype? Again, they could have been real, imaginary or fictional, but do you really love them, or do you love the idea of them? The version of them that you have pieced together in those brains of yours.”

 Your heart stops for just a moment, you can almost feel how you pale, the color draining from your cheeks. She continues.

 “I only ask because I want you to grow to love the character you are creating. This isn’t Psychology, I’m not here to make you question the love, or emotions you do or don’t feel,” the class laughs at this. The class with the exception of you. “But I am here to make you better writers. And one skill that you can have as a writer, a creative, or fiction writer especially, is building a connection with your characters. You’re going to be working on their, the character you’re outlining, story for the next few months. And when I read your work I want to be able feel the connection you have with them.” 

 She waits for it to sink in before continuing. “So I ask again: Do you love the muse you’ve chosen, or do you love the idea of them? Because loving someone and loving the idea of them are two completely different things. To love an idea of someone or something is to love it in a very surface level and/or superficial way. Still with me?” she questions.

 You are, but you wish you weren’t. You think you’re going to be sick.

 “Good, so as I was saying. It’s superficial. To be blunt, you love them for what they could be not for what they really are. As writers, many of us are guilty of this.”

 The thing about being a hopeless romantic is that you think about life in could be’s.

 “To truly love someone or something is to know all the little details about them, their virtues and their flaws. The reason why they prefer winter to spring. How old they were when they got their heartbroken for the first time. When they figured out who they are as a person, or if they are still searching. I asked those questions at the beginning of class to get you thinking.” 

 Your hands are starting to tremble just a little. Words on your paper coming out sloppy. You do love Jeongguk.

 Your professor takes a deep breath, flips to another slide. “How can you expect to love the character when you don’t even truly love who they are modeled after?”

 The room is quiet for a second. Someone raises their hand.

 “Isn’t it possible for characters to change as you write them? Like I can’t change my person, but I can change my character, like write them the way I want so that I end up loving them.”

 Your professor laughs again, light and airy as if she expected someone to ask. “Ah, yes. Character development is a thing of course. Although this is something that happens naturally throughout the story. But to change your character, like how you described?” she shakes her head and tsks, “Is it really love if you have to change them?”

 The sound of your paper crumpling is blaring in the quiet room. You pull out a new sheet, writing your sister’s name at the top. Her favorite color is green, her birthday is July 8th, she’s closer to your dad because you and your mom have always had a bond she couldn’t recreate with her, she’s the hero in the story, not the love interest like Jeongguk was… The lecture continues, and you don’t even notice when the bell rings, too busy thinking about how you do love Jeongguk.

 ~~~

 Jeongguk’s playing the newest version of Final Fantasy on his PS, the one you got him for Valentine’s day just a few days ago. You remembered him passively saying that he hadn’t played since he was little, and how he said he missed racing the chocobo’s. 

 His eyes flicker between his tv and you walking around his room. You’ve been to his apartment many times, but still, you always move around and take everything in like it's your first time there; your fingers running over his manga collection in the corner, tidying up his desk, lighting the linen candle you brought from your place. 

 ‘A gentle smell’ you had told him with a sweet smile, ‘because you’re sensitive to certain scents.’

 He gets distracted, the pleated skirt you're wearing catching his eye even more than the improved graphics of the game. He doesn’t quite hear you when you speak up.

 “Huh?” he asks, dragging his gaze up your body only to be met with a knowing look of your own. He smiles sheepishly.

 You roll your eyes, before taking a seat in his computer chair, not too far from his bed where he’s sat. Flipping through one of his tattoo sketchbooks you ask again, “What’s your favorite color?”

 Jeongguk isn’t surprised when you decide to make conversation. Before you started wandering around his room, you were on the bed with him while he played but you were a little fidgety and fussy, like you had something on your mind. He suspected you got up to try and distract yourself from your thoughts.

 He hums and tells you that it’s black, maybe red. 

 You ask his birthday next. He tells you September 1st. 

 Adjusting himself against the headboard of his bed, he opens for you when you make your way to him, crawling across his duvet. You take it upon yourself to settle between his thighs, back against his chest. He wraps his arms around you and continues to play, his chin resting atop your head. He smiles to himself when he feels you start to trace the stars on his arm.

 “Are you close to your parents?” you question again.

 He makes a small pondering noise. “Not really.”

 “Why not?”

 “Uh- they worked a lot I guess and-” He pauses. You don’t sound like you’re prying, just soft curiosity lacing your tone, but he still hesitates. “Why are you asking?”

 You hum and lean up a little to peck at the line of his jaw. He purrs at the contact, content. “Just wondering,” you state, pressing back into his chest.

 It’s quiet for a bit, you annoyingly plucking at the little bit of arm hair he has, making him laugh and playfully scold you, nuzzling into you and nipping at your cheek in retaliation. You giggle and he gets that sharp feeling in his chest, just like he always does.

 He thinks that’s the end of your questioning but too soon, you speak up again. “Do you prefer Winter or Spring?”

 “Winter, but my favorite season is Fall,” he says glancing down at you quickly before redirecting his attention to his game again. “You’re being weird, are we playing 20 questions or something? No, I’m not a virgin. What color panties are you wearing?” he asks, trying to make a joke.

 He chuckles when you lift your skirt to check before flipping it down again. “Pink,” you reply.

 You’re about to talk again but he interrupts you, “Wait let me see, I didn’t get a good look.”

 He hears you huff and can imagine you rolling your eyes as you do what he asks. You put it down again after a few seconds.

 “Just a little longer,” he tries.

 “Ugh, can you stop,” you say, a giggle leaking into the words, “I’m trying to talk to you!”

 He groans over dramatically like he’s exhausted, but he gives in. He always does with you. 

 “How old were you when you lost it? Your virginity?”

 The fond feeling in his chest starts to dwindle, and Jeongguk can feel the first little pricks of irritation poke at him as he answers your question shorter than before. “17 or 18.”

 You make a small surprised noise, looking up at him shocked. “Really that old?”

 He doesn’t glance back, stays focused on his game, hoping that you get the hint that he doesn’t want to ‘talk’ like this. “Yeah, I was a late bloomer and also an idiot.”

 You smile at him before going back to tracing his tattoos. “I doubt you were an idiot. That was just part of your story, a little chapter in your life.”

 He tenses at your words but shortly after, a lull falls into the conversation. But as soon as Jeongguk relaxes, a small frown takes over his face when you ask if the girl had been his girlfriend. And again, you don’t sound overbearing or anything, but he knows you can tell he’s not interested or invested in your questions. The atmosphere has shifted from pleasant and content to stiff and vexatious.

 “Yup,” he says, voice taking a stern edge despite his efforts to mask it. 

 He feels you tense against his chest, your fingers halting on his arm. “Are you mad at me?” you ask hesitantly.

 Immediately he feels bad, and sighs. “No, I’m not,” he says quietly, trying to be gentle. 

 But it seems you just don’t get it, because not even a few minutes later you’re asking, “How long were you together?”

 And he does his best to not snap at you, but he can’t stop himself when he goes rigid behind you and his words come out harsh and scathing. “Why does it matter and why the fuck are you interrogating me all of a sudden?”

 You turn around between his legs and gape at him with a shocked expression. “I’m not interrogating you? I’m literally just making conversation? Trying to get to know you better?” 

 “And why’s that?” he says, his tone flippant and annoyed.

 You pout and furrow your brows. “Am I not allowed to get to know you?”

 His jaw ticks and he casts an annoyed gaze around his room, looking anywhere but at you, as if not acknowledging the confused and hurt arch of your brow will make it go away. “You haven’t tried to in the last what? Five months?”

 “Six,” you correct him quietly.

 You sound unsure, like you don’t know why he’s lashing out like he is. And to be fair, it’s out of character for him, at least with you. He’s really not this cold towards you very often, almost ever. 

 Usually things with you both are great, easy. Fitting together in each other's lives almost perfectly. So seamlessly they are almost completely intertwined at this point. You meeting him for his breaks at his lessening shifts at the coffee shop, him meeting you after classes when he doesn’t have work, going to each other’s places after he gets off from his apprenticeship. The parties every now and again. The tattoos. 

 But he supposes it’s easy to put two blank canvases together when there are no details known about either of them. That’s what he was hoping for at least.

 “So am I just not allowed to?” you repeat when he stays silent.

 With an irked groan he tosses his controller to the side and rubs his hands over his face, rakes them through his navy hair. “I just don’t get why you are asking in the first place.”

 You regard him quietly for a moment, taking in his bored stare. He knows the disinterest in his tone is agonizingly apparent, and he knows it hurts you, just like the detached dismissal that he has ready on the tip of his tongue will. He expects you to keep pushing, to bicker with him just so he doesn’t give you the silent treatment. 

 He doesn’t expect you to start crawling off his bed. 

 He sighs and reaches out for you, getting a grip on your arm before you can get away completely. “C’mon, what are you doing? Are you mad at me now?”

 “I’m not mad, I just don’t see the point in staying here if you aren’t going to talk to me.” You’re trying to sound impassive, but he can hear the hurt in your voice.

 “But I am talking to you. I talk to you all the time, what do you mean?” He hates that he almost sounds like he’s whining, but he just doesn’t understand and he’s frustrated that you are prying and making things deeper than they need to be, than they should be.

 “Not about things that matter,” you reply curtly.

 “But the things you’re asking about literally do not matter, ___,” he states, just as short.

 You hang your head back and he can see your lashes fluttering rapidly. He knows you’re trying to not cry. Blinking to rid your eyes of unshed tears. You do that sometimes, cry when you get frustrated. As articulate as you are, sometimes things are hard to get out. You sound defeated and disheartened, but your words also have a hurt edge to them when you say, “They matter to me, anything that has to do with you matters to me.”

 He knew you were close to tears, but when you look at him with glossy eyes, he softens almost instantly.

 “Baby,” he coos, sighing again as he tugs you back to between his legs, back to his chest like when the conversation first started. He wraps his arms around you and kind of sways a little as he pecks your hair. “I just don’t think it’s important. Like the past is the past, and that’s it, you know?”

 He knows you’re pouting, and your voice is short and whiny when you insist, “I just want to know.”

 He hangs his head back and knocks it lightly against his headboard, trying to be patient with you. “It wasn’t like a bad relationship or anything like that but I just-”

 “Does it still bother you?”

 “No, but it’s still something I’d rather not think or talk about,” he’s talking to you slowly, like a child. 

 You’re quiet for some time, but Jeongguk just waits, knows you have more questions.

 It’s tentative and rushed when you speak again. “Was she your only girlfriend? If it wasn’t a bad relationship, why did you break up with her?”

  He takes a deep breath, actively trying to not be short with you. “She was the only serious one, and she broke up with me. Nothing really happened.” He shrugs, tone getting softer as he speaks. “Just the stereotypical case of unreciprocated love, or like one person just not feeling it anymore.”

 “So you loved her?” It asked so quietly that he almost doesn’t hear you over the chimes of his game still playing in the background, forgotten and now sound tracking the trepid atmosphere around you.

 He doesn’t verbally reply, just nods. He knows you’ll feel the movement.

 It hurts him when you go still in his hold. Like you didn’t want that to be the answer. You recover quickly, however, inquiring him again. “Did she break your heart?”

 He can’t help but laugh a little behind you, the words sounding far too dramatic for him. “Yeah I guess so?” he answers, “But it wasn't like traumatizing if that’s what you’re thinking. I just cared for her more than she cared about me in the end. That’s how it always is, right?” He pauses, hums like he’s thinking. “Plus she was the first girl I was with, blah blah blah, you know how the story goes.”

 You make a confused noise in front of him like you’re trying to understand and wrap your head around what he just said. “Did that really not affect you at all?”

 You’re probably wondering why he is the way he is, if his first heartbreak isn’t his anti-commitment origin story. He doesn’t blame you.

 Jeongguk thinks about his words for a second. He’s not lying. It wasn’t traumatizing. Maybe it did change him, how he views things, people, love. But it wasn’t tragic. He just kind of became this way as he got older. He has no real backstory for why he is the way he is, why he loves to be loved but will never love in return. Not in the way the other person deserves, at least. Even if he wanted to, he never would. Because as selfish as it is, the one thing he craves more than love, than anything, is his freedom. And in his head he can’t have it all. 

 And maybe that is tragic in a sense, but he’s never really thought of it as a bad thing. Knows that sometimes in order to have something he wants, he has to give up something else. 

 “I mean… I see love differently now. I don’t know if my viewpoint changed because of the break up or just because I got older and realized what’s important to me, but I probably used to think about love closer to the way you do… head in the clouds,” he nudges you playfully, like he’s trying to lighten the mood, “too much faith in people. A top tier romantic and the number one idealist.”

 He knows it’s hard to picture. But he was more like you than he would care to admit. Maybe that’s why he’s so much more careful with you. Because he knows.

 “How do you see love now?”

 Sometimes Jeongguk thinks he’s heartless. But when you ask him questions like that, the kind that you already know the answer to, but ask anyway, hoping that he will tell you something different, tell you what you want to hear… He knows he’s not because his heart aches in his chest. 

 He knows he’s not heartless, because he does his best to be soft with you, to make whatever this is between you both, as painless as possible. And that’s why he never lies to you about this kind of stuff, because he knows if he did, it would hurt so much more later. And he doesn’t want that. Jeongguk is selfish with you, but he never wants to hurt you.

 “You know how I see it, ___,” he murmurs softly, like he’s trying to be gentle. Almost like he’s reminding you. “Why are you asking questions that you know are going to-”

 Hurt you.

 He doesn’t say it, because he doesn’t need to. He knows you know that’s what he means. 

 He feels bad when you start to backtrack. “No, no. I’m not. It’s okay…” you rush out as you shift onto your knees and face him again, hands coming up to cup his face. “Thank you for telling me,” You kiss him gently, hands squeezing, thumb rubbing over the scar on his cheek. You’re too soft, too good for someone like him. “I’m sorry for being nosy, I was just curious.”

 His hands on your hips squeeze, and he pulls you closer, brushes his nose against yours before he kisses you. “It’s okay, I’m sorry for getting upset just-” he breathes hot and sharp against your lips, “Kiss me.”

 Falling into each other after moments like these is easy. It’s been happening more lately, rough talks turning into rough touches. But again, it’s just so simple. It’s easy to stop the fights and the questions with his lips against yours, it's easy to forget the things he does behind your back when he has you on yours beneath him, and it’s easy to pretend like that’s all there is. Just you and him. Two parts of the same star you might say. 

 But even though it’s simple, Jeongguk still wonders how long easy will be enough. 

 ~~~

 spring

 His hair smells like vanilla.

 He took at shower at yours just a bit earlier so it's a familiar scent, one that’s comforting and soft. The warm water made him cozy and pliant. When he came out with damp hair and pink skin he made his way over to you, maneuvering your body till you were flat on your back so he could cuddle up and lay on top of you, head resting on your chest and his body between your legs.

 You’ve got your laptop resting on the coffee table in front of you, one arm out haphazardly doing your homework, the other carding through Jeongguk’s hair, tucking little stray pieces of blue behind his ear. He hasn’t moved in a bit, just content laying with you in the quiet, the tv a mindless background noise. You wonder if he fell asleep.

 It’s only sometime later that he’s shifting, rubbing against your shirt.

 “Baby?” he muses, sleepy and quiet.

 “Hmm?” you drone, eyes on your computer still.

 He looks around a little like he didn’t mean to fall asleep and now is trying to make sense of the missing piece in his memory. “I slept?”

 You look at him and your heart beats a little faster, an unconscious smile playing on your lips as you take in his pout, the red of his cheek from being slept on. “Yeah I think so… the drool on my shirt says that you did,” you tease.

 He flushes a little before plopping back down on your chest with a groan. He asks you what time it is and when you say a little after 9:00pm, he groans again. 

 “I don’t want to get ready,” he mumbles, hand absently squeezing your boob.

 You hum, hand back in his hair, eyes back on your school work. “You could always stay?” 

 He hums back, “Or you could come with me.”

 He sounds cute and hopeful, the little catnap making him softer and melt in your mouth sweet. Like a Hershey’s kiss that was left in the sun for just a little too long. 

 But as tempting as he is, you decline, telling him you have to get this paper done and work on that project for your writing class. And study. Spring midterms are next week after all. 

 He huffs a small sigh, sounds like he’s close to drifting off again when he mumbles, “Gonna miss you.”

 You wonder if he can feel the way your heart skips, if he can feel all the little shooting stars in your chest crash into the pit of your stomach, tiny little explosions of endearment and fondness and love. You want to tell him again, that he could stay, skip the party, if he really wanted to. But you know he has his mind made up, and that he doesn’t really want much of anything.

 Being with Jeongguk is getting harder. Not bad really, just a little more difficult to deal with. The comfort of being with him slowly morphing into a yearnful ache. You don’t let yourself think about it often, knowing that you’re not going to do anything to change the situation. Too scared to try, if you’re being honest. But in times like these where his affection is so gentle and so tender that it almost hurts? It’s hard to ignore all the things you both leave unsaid and cast to the side. 

 That doesn’t stop you, however, from reverting back to what you both know and what is safe.

 “You’ll miss me?” you tease.

 He grumbles, like he’s a little embarrassed, buries his face between your tits.

 You giggle and pull his hair a tiny bit making him look at you. “Maybe I should make you feel good before you go? Wake you up a little?”

 He narrows his eyes and scowls at you, playful fire lighting up his eyes, “I thought you had homework?”

 “I do, but it won’t take that long.”

 He rolls his eyes and sits up like he’s getting ready to leave, “I hate you. I cum in my pants one time and you never leave it alone.”

 You laugh, and as hard as he tries to keep a smile at bay, you can see the corner of his lips quirk up. He settles into the couch a little away from you and acts like he’s giving you the silent treatment.

 But you know the game, you’ve both played it before. Act mad and hurt, get babied and taken care of. You give in, so easy for him just like the first time you made him cum and all the other times after that. 

 You don’t waste time as you crawl over to him and settle on his lap, your hips straddling his. He doesn’t give you much other than his hands resting on your ass, thumbs slipping under your shirt to rub a bit at your hip bones. He regards you quietly, just looking you over until his eyes land on your lips and hesitate before flicking back to your eyes.

 You lean in, ready to give him what he clearly wants, but he’s stubborn as ever despite his suppleness, turning his head away at the last moment with a close-lipped giggle. 

 You scoff softly before taking a new route, undeterred. Now going straight for his neck, kissing on the little mole he has on the side. Your tongue tastes him first, skin warm and clean, before your lips latch on in a light suction, barely sucking as he purrs and tilts his head. 

 A hand travels down his chest and you palm him over his sweats at the same time that you pull some skin between your teeth and bite. He gasps, and the hands on your ass squeeze, pulling you closer to him, and you revel in the way his hips just barely push up into your palm. 

 He’s much needier and more eager when he’s in this mood. Not quite submissive, but more lenient. Maybe you’re taking advantage of his soft, hazy state when you start sucking a bruise on his neck, right over that freckle where everyone can see, but you can’t help yourself. Once you taste a star, it’s a constant craving, something that you fiend for. And when he feels the pressure of your mouth, and the pain, he doesn’t stop you, just pulls you impossibly closer. He hisses when you scrape your teeth and then whines when you lick over the mark.

 You pull away when he starts to squirm and then settle on the floor, the plush rug underneath you a soft cushion for your knees. He spreads his legs quickly, easy for you in the way you typically are for him. Looking down his nose at you, he waits patiently for you to start touching him again.

 When you do, he lets out the softest sigh, lets his head fall back for just a moment before looking at you again, a newfound darkness swimming in his eyes. He’s already hard, just from a few small touches over his clothes and a couple kisses to his neck. His pants get pushed down, pooling by his ankles. 

 You moan a little when you take him in your hand, rub your thighs together some. The skin of his length is a pretty pink, and soft to the touch. 

 “Already hard?” you ask, a smile in your voice as you grip him a little tighter and stroke slowly.

 He nods, eyes going between your hand and your face. Your hair is messy and you’ve got your big round reading glasses on. “I’m always super horny when I wake up, you know that,” he tells you, unashamed.

 Humming, you nod. You do know, but you wish you knew better. You wish you got to experience it more. Got to wake up with him more than you do, got to disappear under the covers in the soft morning light to wrap your lips around him more often than you do, got to wake him up with slow slurps and wet kisses more than you do. You wish you just got to be with him more than you do.

 But you don’t.

 The passive reminder is heavy on your heart like he is heavy on your tongue, the tip of his cock leaking just a tiny bit when you press your tongue flat to the sensitive part under the head. You look at him as you do that, you take in the way his brows turn up and his mouth parts.

 He pushes a piece of hair behind your ear, and his voice is soft and raspy when he tells you, “You’re so pretty, baby.”

 You blush and adjust your glasses, shifting on your knees a little. “Thank you,” you reply with a quick kiss to his length.  

 Sometimes the sweet, soft things that you do make him go crazy. You think so at least, because when you place those small kitten kisses up and down his cock, it jerks in your hold, pulses hot and hard for you. When you flick your eyes to Jeongguk, his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth and his eyes are closed.

 You keep your gaze on him as you wrap your mouth completely around the swollen tip, and suckle. Your pussy clenches when Jeongguk’s body goes tense, hips dipping into the cushion of the couch like he’s trying to run away from you and how good your mouth feels. 

 “Fuck-” he whines, looking at you quickly before letting his eyes fall shut again.

 He brings his hands up, laces them through your hair and pushes slightly, kind of encouraging you to sink down farther, but not demanding like he usually would. You let his hands slowly guide you down his cock, your palms on his thighs, feeling as they tense more and more with every inch of him that you take in. He shutters when you reach the base, nose against his lower belly, his tip brushing against the back of your throat. He pulls you off with the same sluggish speed, almost like he’s using your mouth to tease and torture himself with the leisurely pace that he’s setting.

 The next time you sink down on his cock, you stick your tongue out, and lick at his balls, making him spread his legs more and push up into your throat, the tip breaching where your gag reflex would be if you had one. 

 “Yeah, baby-” he chokes out, “Love your mouth, fuck…”

 You drool and swallow and suck on his cock like it's the last time you ever will, like it's the best thing you’ve ever tasted. You add your hands too, once Jeongguk settles back and brings his fingers to his chest, toying with his nipples rather than pulling at your hair. His eyes are hazy as he watches you, as he listens to the slick clicking noises of your strokes and nasty slurping sounds of your mouth. 

 “That’s so fucking good,” Jeongguk says as his hips twitch, a shuddering sigh tailing his groans.

 You pull off and stroke him with just your hands, wanting to see how he looks, how he reacts. The way his crew neck is bunched up with his hands underneath playing with his body just like you. How his abs tense when you rub at the little spot under the crown, how his cock spurts just a baby bit of clear precum when you do it harder.

 “So big, Koo, so wet,” you praise.

 He nods and agrees easily with a distracted and breathy, “Mmh- yeah.”

 Jeongguk is fussy in your hand squirming as he gets closer. He takes one of his hands out from under his sweater and pushes and paws at the strap of your tank top. “Off- wanna see,” he whines quietly.

 You give a cute nod, and rake your nails down his bare thighs gently and then sigh. Pleased at the way he shivers, his sleepiness making him so responsive. Then you do as he asks, pushing the straps down and letting your big tits bounce freely. 

 “God you’re so sexy,” he sighs, a hand now wrapped around his cock, stroking fast.

 “Do you like them?” you whisper, small hands grabbing and shaking them a little, nipples hardening at your own touch.

 Jeongguk nods, tells you what you already know. That he loves them, wants them in his mouth, wants his cock between them.

 “Wanna fuck them?” you offer.

 But like he wants too many things all at once and can’t decide, he backtracks on his previous statement, words fumbling and cute as he settles for just shaking his head and saying eloquently, “No. Mouth.”

 “You’re a little needy today,” you muse, bringing your hand up to grip his cock only for it to be swatted away.

 “Shut-” he moans when you tease the tip with your tongue, cock kicking and a drop of precum dribbling from his slit. “up. Mouth only.”

 “Okay baby,” you comply easily.

 Jeongguk’s tattooed hand is holding the base of his cock so it doesn’t throb and kick as your lick and suck at him, just his thumb and forefinger keeping himself in place. He sputters out tiny whines and little sighs as you blow him, little moans of your own thrumming against his length.

 When you bring your tongue back to the tip, little quick flicks over his frenulum, he tenses and jerks before sinking into the feeling.

 “Ah- just like that… your tongue, just your tongue baby.”

 His sensitivity is so gratifying. So worked up, that just the tip of your tongue is enough to get him wiggling and squirming. 

 “Think I’m gonna cum?” he warns, a puzzled pitch to his tone.

 Though Jeongguk has always been sensitive, he’s never cum from just your tongue licking at him, always needing a hand around his cock, or your mouth sucking on him, your pussy milking him. This makes a little flame burn hot in your belly, eager to make him feel good in a way you haven’t before.

 “Just from my tongue?” you ask against the tip.

 He nods, hasty and jerky with his movements. “Yeah, keep licking me- so close- please,” he says quietly.

 While making him feel good just how he asked, you flick and lick and suckle at the underside of the crown, tasting him as he leaks for you, watching as he fights against the urge to fuck up into your mouth and stroke his cock. His chest is rising and falling, puffing out hot, high pitched breaths. His free hand is now gripping at the cushion of the couch rhythmically, knuckles white. 

 You smile, with your tongue out, knowing the signs, having made him fall apart so many times before. Slurping and suctioning a little so that you can lick constantly over him is what makes him lose it.

 His jaw hangs open and his brows turn up, “I love that, oh my god, fuck-” he moans head dropping to the back of the sofa. “I’m cumming, baby,” he breathes.

 His body locks up and the hand gripping the sofa pulls at the cushion as he curls in on himself, his cock spurting out a shot of cum every time it pulses. He’s almost whimpering, as you keep flicking your tongue lightly on him. Eyes squeezed shut, hand still holding his cock in place for you, like he doesn’t want you to stop even though he’s twitching now, overstimulated and too sensitive. You give one last, slow lick over the whole length of him before you pull away.

 Finally Jeongguk untenses and lets himself relax into the couch, deep breaths filling his lungs. He looks pretty, sweaty and thoroughly fucked out, his hand idly rubbing up and down his tummy. 

 He’s still leaning back, eyes closed as he basks in the afterglow of his orgasm when he says, “Put my cock away, please.”

 You giggle and pull his sweats up for him, and he lifts his hips to help you. You pat his cock gingerly when it’s tucked inside.

 Finally he peeks at you, eyes hazy as he opens them. They get more alert quickly, though, when he sees the state you’re in. He sits up, smiling big and laughing.

 “Baby,” he coos, leaning in to peck you on the lips between his breathy laughter, “look at you, so messy,” he pinches your cheek as he sits back some, looking at how you’re covered in his cum. A spurt on your chin, another across the bridge of your nose and cheek, and a final one on the lens of your glasses.

 You beam at him and he looks you over once more before leaning down to your level again, hands fondling your tits a little as he whispers in your ear, “So, cute. My cute baby.” He kisses your temple before standing and telling you he’ll be right back with a cloth to clean you.

 It takes him a bit longer than it normally would, and when he comes out you know why. He’s dressed in his party clothes, shoes already on. A little hint of melancholy makes a home behind your ribs. But he still looks so lovely when he crouches in front of you, eyes bright like the lights in the sky. 

 “Sorry,” he says with a bashful smile, “Checked the time while I was in there- gotta run.”

 You nod, always understanding of his quick exits and flighty ways. “Have fun,” you say quietly.

 He brushes a thumb over your cheek and looks at you. His touch is gentle while his gaze is intense. With pinched brows and a pensive purse to his lips, he leans in slowly, nuzzles your cheek briefly before kissing you. 

 His kisses are evil, you’re sure of it. So deliberate and passionate that they make your head spin. Sweet as he licks into your mouth, as he breathes you in, hands cupping your faces as he brings you closer. Mean as he pulls away, leaving you breathless and longing for more. 

 “I’ll see you,” he assures you as he gets to his feet. 

 You smile because he will. 

 ~~~

 When you arrive at the party it’s just like any other one. You first make your way through the crowd to the kitchen, Yoongi and Taehyung in tow. You pour yourself a drink, and just like always it takes about 2 minutes for you to realize you may have been better off at home. It’s too hot, and it smells like cheap weed, and the cheap fragrance that is half hazardously spritzed here and there to try and cover up the smell. The alcohol is cheap, $10 New Amsterdam lines the counter, a bunch of half empty bottles with mismatched lids. The red solo cup in your hand is cheap. The girl in front of you sitting in Jeongguk’s lap is cheap.

 Or maybe she’s not. You don’t know. Don’t really care. In the morning, you’ll process how it’s not the other girl’s fault, and how it’s Jeongguk you should be calling names. You’ll think rationally about how she likely didn’t know about you, when she took her place on his thighs. You’ll understand that there’s no way she could have known how highly you think of the boy she’s sinking her teeth into, how you think, know he’s made of stars, how when you think of him you see the color pink. How could she? Jeongguk evidently didn’t tell her. She probably doesn’t know. You know that. You’ll process it in the morning.

 But right now all you can process the sickly feeling crawling it’s way up your throat. All you can feel is the way your palms get sweaty, and a little shaky, your fight or flight making adrenaline course through your veins as you just watch. 

 Watch as Jeongguk obliviously carries on conversations with the people you’ve come to know at these parties. You watch as he mindlessly tilts his head so the girl he has in his lap can kiss his neck better. So she can make him feel good, better. She’s sitting much like you were during the first party you attended here, on that same gross, stained sofa. Jeongguk’s got his hands all over her just like he had them all over you that night, in front of everyone. The same hands that were all over you just a few hours ago.

 You glance around the circle you’re still on the outskirts of, Taehyung and Yoongi on your flank, taking in everything you’re seeing as well, a tense silence falling over your trio, them waiting to see what you want to do. Jeongguk’s circle doesn’t even bat an eye at the fact that there is a random girl that is not you, kissing on him. They just carry on conversations with him, like he’s the best multitasker in the world. 

 Or maybe she’s not random, you think, realize. All the times you’ve declined his invites to these types of functions flash in your head and you have to close your eyes, have to really focus on not hurling the little bit of alcohol you were able to ingest on your way from the kitchen to the living room. But a laugh that you’ve always adored and grown to love these past few months fills your ears, automatically making your eyes flick open and search for him.

 He’s got his eyes closed now, and you can see the way the hand on her thigh is clenching in pleasure. He hums at something someone says, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He chuckles again, a breathy one. A distracted one, one that’s sounded just to appease a shitty joke that’s been told. Your eyes move to the girl. She’s working her teeth and her tongue over that mark you know you left just a few hours ago. Darkening it, making it her own. She can’t erase it, no. But she can take its place. 

 It’s almost slow motion when she detaches and moves her hand to Jeongguk’s jaw. Your breath catches in your throat as you watch her, you know what she’s doing. 

 Jeongguk’s eyes flutter open in that hazy way they do when he’s distracted and turned on. When you see her apply pressure getting him to angle his head towards her, his lips towards hers, your heart clenches. He just goes with it so easily. Like it’s second nature, like he’s used to it, does it often in fact. He doesn’t even try to fight it at all. His eyes flick down to her lips, and he leans in, and you can’t watch anymore. You don’t want her to know what the stars taste like. What your star tastes like.

 “Hey Kook.” It’s still a nickname, but it sounds so much harsher than the soft ‘Koo’ or occasional ‘baby’ you usually reserve for him. 

 It’s satisfying to see the way his body tenses and the way his eyes fly open at the sound of your voice. His head looks around the room quickly a few times, before finally landing on you. 

 What’s not so satisfying is the way he makes no move to separate himself from the girl who is now just leaning her head on his shoulder, eyeing you. She’s got a sly smile on her face, and she’s kicking her legs that are swung over Jeongguk’s lap like she’s bored. Just waiting for the inevitably tense moment to pass so she can get back to what she was doing. Jeongguk clears his throat.

 “___. I- um. I didn’t think you were coming… Like I thought you said you weren’t when I saw you earlier?” He phrases it like a question, like he didn’t understand what happened earlier was a lot more than him ‘just seeing you’. Like he might be able to blame whatever this is on a miscommunication, a little mistake. 

 Your blood is boiling, but you can’t even find it in yourself to be angry with him. You guys aren’t dating. Technically he’s not doing anything wrong. If you got mad right now, it would be crazy of you; controlling. 

 No, you can’t really be angry. But you can be hurt. And you are. So irrevocably hurt, you can feel the hollow pain settle in your chest, and make a home in your lungs. It hurts to breathe.

 “Yeah… I finished my paper after all. Thought I would surprise you. Since you- since you invited me.” You cringe at the way you sound. So childish, naïve, foolish, hopeful. Your eyes jump between him and the girl still comfortably settled in his lap. You can see her playing with some of the longer pieces of his hair at the nape of his neck. You look away. 

 Jeongguk sighs like he doesn’t know how to fix the situation he’s got himself into. “You didn’t have to do that.” He has a faux sweet tone to his voice, like he’s appreciative of the gesture, the thought, but it just wasn’t necessary. 

 His coolness makes the tears that you’ve been fighting finally sting. So many welling in your eyes, you don’t even need to blink before they trek freely down your cheeks.

 A watery, self deprecating laugh leaves your lips before you murmur, “Clearly.” 

 You gesture to the girl, finally forcing you both to acknowledge the proverbial elephant in the room. Jeongguk winces, like he’s the one that’s hurt. You chuckle again. “But hey, listen. Have fun okay? I’ll see you.” Your voice cracks, and you hastily run out of the room.

 Jeongguk tries to call out to you, even pushes the girl’s legs off, but you’re already lost in the crowd. He groans and flops back onto the couch, running his hands over his face.

 ~~~

 When there’s loud banging on your apartment door, it’s expected.

 It’s Jeongguk. Of course it is. Out of breath from running to your door from the elevator, he has distraught eyes, like he’s frazzled with his hair askew. But still, he looks so devastatingly pretty. 

 You look at him up and down, and you feel your eyes water again. Tears welling heavy, like the numb feeling in your chest. Pictures of him with his eyes closed and a girl on his neck flash in your mind. You take a deep trembling breath, willing yourself to keep it together.

 “What?” you say simply. You try to sound mad, but really you just sound tired. 

 He shifts in your doorway, looking down at his feet before meeting your gaze. You know you look like a mess with red rimmed eyes and probably some mascara running underneath. You couldn’t be bothered.

 “Can I come in?” he whispers. 

 You scowl. “Why?”

 He shrugs, a defensive gesture. “I wanna talk to you?”

 You scoff and roll your eyes before turning away, leaving the door open for him. You sit on your couch, and watch as Jeongguk awkwardly stands in front of you. He looks so nervous and so out of place in your apartment, a sight that is such a stark difference to how he was earlier. So soft for you, so sweet for you. Easy to hold and easy to love. You never thought you’d see him in your home, antsy with stress and not pleasure. Something so cold it burns, settles in your chest.

 “__ I-”

 “You got here fast,” you interrupt. 

 Jeongguk flinches at your sharp tone. “Huh?”

 “You got to my place fast. Must have cum pretty quick huh?” The bitterness in your tone is scathing, and Jeongguk’s taken aback by your tone, having never heard you sound like that with him before.

 He sighs, “No we-”

 “Oh you didn’t? Did she just blow you?”

 “Please, __ just-” 

 “Jerked you off in the bathroom th-”

 “I didn’t fuck her __!” Jeongguk yells. His hands are in his hair, tugging before they run down his face, pulling his skin in aggravation. 

 You flinch on the couch. But you turn your nose up to him, and tuck your feet under you making yourself small. Even though you’re on the verge of tears, your words are icy. “Well, I’m sorry I interrupted and ruined that for you.”

 He sounds defeated when he groans and makes his way over to you, sitting next to you on the sofa. “I didn’t sleep with her.” 

 With him so near, you can feel the warmth of his body start to melt away the anger you felt, leaving just the tangible ache and hurt. 

 “Please look at me?” he asks quietly. He reaches his hand out, but you shy away from the touch, squeezing as close to the armrest as you can.

 You shake your head. Your chin is quivering, ugly dents forming as you suck in one of those stuttering breaths. The kind that gives away just how close you are to breaking. And if you look at him and his starshine eyes and moon glow skin you will. You know you will. 

 “Baby, please.”

 You feel his hand cup your cheek and gently press, guiding you to look at him. Just like the girl from earlier did to him. Your eyes drop to his neck and there it is. It’s an ugly dark purple mark on his soft skin. You feel sick, and the softest cry sneaks past your lips. You close your eyes and take a deep breath willing yourself to keep your composure. But it’s so hard when even just looking at him hurts. 

 When you take him in again, you’re met with his gaze. He looks pained too, despite the circumstances. Despite this being his fault. The hand on your cheek is gentle, like the thumb wiping away at your quiet tears. He looks at you. Really looks at you.

 “I swear I didn’t.” It’s said softly, but he’s begging. He’s begging you to believe him.

 And it sucks because you do. You know he’s telling the truth and it just hurts you and confuses you more. The fact that he left her to come and find you. The fact that he’s here making sure you know that he didn’t do anymore than just let her kiss on him; that he didn’t cross whatever invisible line in this ‘relationship’ that’s not even real, anymore than he already has. 

 You look at him sadly, the smallest smile on your lips as you whisper, “But you would have.”

 His face falling is all the confirmation you need, and the way your heart breaks in your chest is clean and sharp. The pain takes your breath away.

 He hangs his head, and his hand falls from your face to land on your thigh. 

 “I’m sorry.” Is all he says. No denial. No nothing that could make anything better because even the apology that just fell from his lips was only uttered because you found out. 

 But then you’re reminded that in reality, he didn’t do anything wrong. He’s not your boyfriend. You have no say in what he does, or who he does. 

 Though your lips are shy, comfortable with only his, his lips are sociable and like playing with friends. Though your hands are small, not even big enough to hold all the love for the fallen star in front of you, his are big. Big enough to hold many things, maybe not love, but surely people. It’s a painful realization, when you come to the conclusion that your naiveté got in the way of you seeing things clearly, that your rose-tinted glasses kept you from seeing things for what they really are, and not what you had wanted them to be. It’s painful getting caught in the path of an imploding star. 

 “No, I’m sorry,” you murmur, bringing a hand up to wipe at your tears. “I- you’re not mine. I shouldn’t even be upset. You didn’t do anything wrong.” You try to laugh, but it comes out pitiful and pained and wet because the stupid tears just won’t stop.

 He looks up at you hesitantly. He speaks slowly, like he’s unsure. “Just because it wasn’t wrong… doesn’t mean it was right.”

 And that’s a line if you’ve ever heard one. But it works, and it’s true. You just look at him, waiting for him to continue.

 “And I hurt you.” His hand is back on your cheek again, and his eyebrows are pinched and his lips are set in a frown. 

 Him acknowledging that pain he caused doesn’t help ease it. If anything it makes it hurt worse. 

 You nod in his palm, confirming. “Yeah, you did.”

 Maybe you’re seeing things, but his eyes well with tears to match yours, and he’s crowding closer to you taking up your space. “How do I fix it? How do I make it better?” 

 Your shoulders shake with the cries you're trying to keep in. “I don’t know if you can. Or if you even actually want to.”

 He’s frantic and he shakes his head. “No, no I do!” He’s holding your face in his hands, forcing you to see how much he means it.

 But it just makes the heavy tears fall faster. “Jeongguk you-”

 He kisses you. It’s desperate and hard, like he’s begging for something you’re not even sure he knows. Lips moving against yours slow and molten hot like lava, teeth clicking when you pull away to take a breath, to cry. Palms gripping roughly as if bruises made by hands will hurt less and replace the ones that are made from careless actions. When he backs away, it’s just enough for him to speak, his forehead on yours, his lips still brushing yours.

 “Please, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” he chants. When he finds other words besides apologies, he whispers, “Let me make it better, let me fix it.”

 His mouth leaves a blazing trail down your neck, kissing urgently but so, so softly, like it's the only thing he knows how to do gently with you. 

 I’m sorry.

 You don’t fight him when he presses into you, the weight of his body falling over you as he coaxes your legs open and settles between them. He makes you look at him and leans in to kiss you for real, on the lips. But you turn away, a whimper falling from your lips. This doesn’t discourage him, though. And you don’t stop him. His lips, or his hands. Because although they hurt you and cause you so much pain, they also make you feel so good, reminding you of all the sweet things he has said, the things he has done. Maybe he doesn’t love you but it feels like he does in that moment.

 I’m sorry.

 He’s so gentle and so careful with you, when he gets you bare. When he lines himself up and slides in. He gasps with you and moans. He buries his face in your neck, biting and sucking as he rocks his hips, before he takes a deep breath and kisses soothingly over the marks he made like he didn’t mean to lose himself and didn’t mean to cause you pain. In contrast, you dig your nails into his back for that exact reason.

 I’m sorry.

 He hisses at your harsh touch, and his hips pick up pace. He’s been whispering to you the whole time, whenever he can between the whines and groans falling from his lips. Telling you he’s sorry, how he will do better, how he’s never going to stop making you feel good. You nod, wanting to believe it, hoping that he means it. He brings a hand between your bodies, rubs you until you finish around him. Making you feel good in one of the only ways he knows how.

 Kiss me.

 He begs for the small affection as his hips start to stutter, thrusts growing erratic and jerky. You’ve always been weak for him, so you give in. Easy, easy, easy. Like it’s second-nature. Jeongguk kisses you while he cums, gasping into you, hips slowing but not stopping until he has nothing left to give.

 “Can I stay?” he asks, so softly.

 “You’ve never wanted to before,” you reply, rolling away from him.

 “I want to now,” he insists, tentatively curling around you. “Please?”

 You don’t reply, but you don’t move away.

 When you wake up, you’re surprised to see he’s still there. That he hasn’t run out on you. It’s foolish, but as you lay with him you let your mind wander. A few could be’s running laps around your fatally lovesick brain.

 The night before could be a misunderstanding. Things could be okay.

 Maybe you could be his.

 Maybe he could be yours.

 ~~~

 Pink.

 Everything is pink.

 The cherry blossoms that have reached full bloom, large pink flowers dancing when the breeze blows.

 Your heart glowing pink, beating warm in your chest. Fluttering like the petals that rain from strong branches.

 Jeongguk’s cheeks as they swell with a flush, a pink cast that’s a perfect match to the glow of your heart.

 “What are you staring at?”

 Your eyes were hazy with thought before you heard his voice, but at the sound of his soft, inquisitive tone you refocus, realizing you’ve been staring. 

 Jeongguk bringing you to the Cherry Blossom Festival was a sweet, baby pink surprise. The last few weeks have been, really. After the first stilted week following that party, after the doctor’s appointments to make sure you were clean, despite his insistence that you didn’t need to, him claiming he used protection with the other girls, and after the hard talks, things seemed to actually be going okay. Back to how they were before that night, at the very least. 

 The parties have been less frequent, and even though he doesn’t say it, you know that him not going as often, and bringing you when he does go, is him trying. Trying to show you that he cares, trying to show you that he’s sorry for hurting you. Trying to show you that he’s putting in effort that he didn’t before.

 He lets you know where he is if you’re not with him, texts you when he gets home, stays the night more often. He makes a point to take you to Blushing Brews from time to time despite him not working there anymore, tattooing full time now. The new girl behind the counter that replaced him is a little younger but nice enough even though she doesn’t give you your oat milk for free like Jeongguk used to. You think him taking you there regularly is him trying to be sentimental, and it makes your heart flutter in your chest.

 Before the incident you both were already together so often, almost constantly, so with the added bonding your lives are almost one. 

 So although things haven’t evolved into more, you think that maybe with time, they could. And you think that if he’s at least trying, that’s all you can ask for. You’re not going to push him, or demand things from him that he doesn’t willingly want to give. Because just like always, you’re worried that he will run. That you will scare him. Being with him in some way is better than not being with him at all.

 You reach a small hand up and pluck a petal from his long, blueberry locks. His eyes cross when you present the little flower to him.

 “Had something in your hair,” you say with a tiny smile.

 He blows it out of your hand. “Ugh they are everywhere,  you have some in your hair too.” He leans away from the tree trunk he was resting against and cards a tattooed hand through your hair. He pauses for a moment looking around until he finds a whole blossom that fell, instead of just single petals, tucking it behind your ear.

 You’re sitting in front of him, face to face, between his legs, your own bent and kind of caging him in. His legs doing the same to you.

 His eyes scan your face for a moment before he smiles softly, hand cupping your jaw and urging you forward for a gentle kiss. He tastes like a mix of the cherry syrup that filled the cherry blossom bread mixed and the sakura ice cream you both were munching on. Sugary sweet and creamy. 

 He hums when he pulls away, eye still closed before he grins, lazy and serene. “Are you having a good time?” he murmurs. 

 You look around. See kids running around and screaming, gathering handfuls of fallen petals and throwing them in the air just to watch them snow down once again. You see couples all over, young and old, hand in hand, or lips locked together. So many stars out despite the sun still being warm and bright in the sky.

 With eyes falling back on Jeongguk, you feel that intense lovestruck warmth bubble over in your chest, so full and overflowing with adoration. Even after the hurt he caused and the pain you felt, all you feel is love. You don’t think there could be room for anything else, no matter what happens.

 You peck him cute and sweet, and nod. “Yeah, thank you for bringing me. Everything is so pretty here.”

 His hands grip at the smallest part of your waist between his legs. “Not as pretty as you.” He brushes his nose against your cheek, and you squirm a little, his hair tickling your cheek as he moves to whisper in your ear, “Prettiest girl ever.”

 He kisses on you a little, not too much considering you're out in the open, but enough to make you scoot as close to him as you can, bodies almost flush together. You breathing gets airy and you get a little lost in him, in the stars. So much so that you don’t notice when one of his hands slinks away from your waist and to his pocket.

 “Hey,” he whispers, bringing you back to earth. “I got you something.”

 You pull away surprised and look him in the eyes before you glance down at his closed fist. You pout a little, confused, before cupping your hands in front of him. He plops something light and shiny in your palms.

 The small silver necklace in your hand is simple but so beautiful. You remember lingering on it when you first got to the festival, the ornate little cherry blossom charm catching your eye. You didn’t think that Jeongguk noticed, but he must have slipped away to buy it when he went to get the food.

 Your eyes are shiny when you look up at him again, “Koo…” you whisper, “you didn’t have to-”

 “Shh,” he shushes you, his big hand petting at you, “I wanted to… do you like it? You prefer silver right? No gold?” He sounds nervous, a little eager to please and make you happy.

 You were admiring the necklace when he started speaking again, but at the mention of your jewelry preference you gaze at him again. “You remembered?”

 He smiles a little sheepishly, kind of shy. “Of course I did…” he pauses and looks like he’s debating on saying what’s on his mind. He starts slowly and hesitantly, “I know- I know it didn’t seem like it because of what I did… but I always listened, I always like, cared. I just-” he takes a deep breath like he doesn’t know how to say what he means, “I don’t know, there are just things I don’t know… things I don’t think I want.” He looks down, like he can’t face you.

 You place gentle hands on his face and urge him to meet your gaze once again. His lips are pursed and down turned and there’s an upward tilt to his pinched brows. 

 “It’s okay…” You wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face into him. 

 It’s okay, I love you.

 The words have been on the tip of your tongue for months, but lately, they have been trying to sneak out past your teeth on almost a daily basis. Getting harder and harder to bite down and conceal. It won’t be long before you’re choking on them, unable to swallow them anymore.

 He wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes a little. “It’s not okay,” he whispers. His sentence sounds unfinished like he has more to say, something he wants to tell you. 

 You’re heart pitter patters anxiously in your chest and you quickly speak up again before he has a chance to. 

 “I mean, don’t do it again. Please,” you laugh quietly, trying to lighten the mood, “But it’s over now and we can’t, like, change it so… we can think of it as character development!” you finish with a cheerful tone and a kiss to his neck.

 You pull back a little when you feel him tense under you for just a fraction of a second before relaxing again. He looks a little off, but kisses your worries away.

 “Yeah,” he agrees with you, tone breathy like it's said on a sigh.

 “Put it on for me?” you say handing the necklace back. You turn around between his thighs so that your back is now to him.

 Jeongguk’s fingers are gentle as they sweep your hair over your shoulder before wrapping his arms around you, the chain circling your neck. His fingers shake a little as he undoes that clasp, and he misses the hook a couple times before he finally gets it. He pulls your hair from under the dainty chain, and smooths his hands over your shoulders before placing a soft, wet kiss to the nape of your neck.

 It’s a subtle action, but it still makes your breath hitch in your throat, your heart beating just a little faster in your chest. He does it again, his tongue coming out this time, his teeth nibbling just a bit when you tilt your neck.

 “Ah- Koo-” you whine, quietly. 

 His arms are around your waist and you settle your hands on top of them like you know you should push them off, keep yourselves decent under the cherry blossom tree, but instead they just squeeze and keep him close. Your thighs squeeze together too.

 He hums into your neck, his breath hot against your ear when he whispers, “Ready to go?”

 You get to your car quickly, not bothering to dust yourselves off, stray petals littering the floor mats. Jeongguk drives, and you kiss on him while he does.

 ~~~

 The car ride was full of airy laughs and soft touches. Heated hands roaming over heated bodies, both yours and Jeongguk’s mind one tracked and ready. He doesn’t even get you in the door before his lips are on yours and his tongue is dancing in your mouth.

 Once he does actually get you to your room, he takes a breath, takes you in. His hands are on your hips, and yours are on his face as he rests his forehead against yours, eyes closing and breaths mingling. 

 He has his bottom lip pulled between his teeth to try and calm the giddy laughter that hasn’t stopped. You’re one in the same, tiny hiccupping giggles ring in his ears as your squeeze at his cheeks and kiss everywhere you can reach. Single pecks to his eyelids, his nose. Longer, honeyed kisses to his lips. He grips you harder, angles his hips against yours. You gasp for him, go pliant in his hold. 

 He buries his head in your neck, bites, sucks, kisses. Breathing in your subtle sweet vanilla scent, so familiar to him by now, he’s not sure he could go without a hit of it for longer than a day at this point. 

 When he reaches your collarbones, he sees the little flower nestled between the slightly protruding bones. It twinkles like a small star on your soft skin. He smiles as he toys with it for a second, before bringing his mouth back to yours, hasty and eager.

 Your hands are in his hair and he’s backing you up to the bed while his teeth nip at your lips, teeth clicking when he can’t help but smile, and consequently you smile back, instinctive and natural. You’re lost in the moment, and he’s lost in you. 

 Until you tug at his hair, keeping him in the present. You pull his mouth away from yours, but he’s needy, his lips immediately moving to whatever skin is within his reach.

 You laugh, and it sounds breathless in his ears. “Hey, Koo-” you moan, the grip in his hair tightening when his hands knead at your ass, “th-thank you.”

 He hums into your skin, a smirk on his cherry red lips. “Why are you thanking me?”

 “For today… I just-”

 Jeongguk’s kisses slow at your tone. You sound a bit unsure, a bit off. When he finally looks at you again, present enough to see through the haze of want that has clouded your bedroom, he sees it. 

 It’s so much brighter, more potent than it’s ever been before, like it’s all consuming and fervent in your eyes. Love. His heart skips a devastating beat. Not because he’s happy, or ecstatic, or relieved. But because he’s scared.

 His hands find your face, gripping a little too hard, he’s sure. Your small ones wrap around his wrists and squeeze tenderly, a little too gentle, he’s sure. 

 The way that your smile slowly drops is daunting. Your brows furrow and that little pout forms on your face and Jeongguk feels sick.

 “What’s wrong?” you ask gently, your thumb on his wrist rubbing softly over his skin.

 He shakes his head slightly, his eyes searching yours frantically waiting for that glow in them to die out. It usually does, like you’re able to contain it, bottle the feeling away until it’s like it was never there to begin with. 

 But this time it doesn't, you just continue to look at him like he is the brightest star in the sky, like he’s the other half to yours, like he completes you in that asinine way that romantics think can fix everything. He’s been there. And he knows that’s just not right. 

 “Please don’t,” he whispers.

 You’re shaking your head too, like your absentmindedly mirroring him. You sound so confused when you speak up, but you laugh a little like you don’t understand the joke. “Don’t what?”

 There is no joke. Jeongguk wishes there was. Wishes he could give you what you want, wishes that the way you look at him wasn’t suffocating, wishes that trying was enough. Because at least he did that. The last few weeks were enough for him to know that sometimes no amount of trying can make things fit together.

 “Don’t look at me like that,” he continues in a voice that sounds fraile and skittish in his ears.

 With brows even more pinched than before, and a perturbed expression on your face, you squeeze at his wrists, just a touch harder, like you’re trying to get him to focus. As if he isn’t fixated, as if he isn’t solely concentrated on your every movement, every slight change of expression. “Like what?”

 “Like you love me.”

 Jeongguk didn’t think it would hurt this bad. Didn’t think finally telling you that it wasn’t going to work, that he wasn’t going to be with you in that way, would be so profoundly painful. 

 But at the same time, part of him thinks that you knew it wouldn’t last. That you’ve known for a long time. The other part knows that you’ll hold on as long as he lets you. He’s always been so selfish with you.

 You flinch in his hold and you stutter a little as you shake your head in his hands. “Jeongguk I- it’s- please-”

 He doesn’t know what you’re begging for, but he knows he can’t give it to you. The pads of his thumb brush at the apples of your cheeks. He leans forward, kisses you softly before he murmurs against your lips, “Please just don’t- don’t ruin this,” he begs. His eyes are closed and his brows are scrunched. “We’re good like this, right?”

 He knows you’re just appeasing him when you nod your head, like you’re scared to lose him, but he lets out a relieved sigh all the same. Kisses you like he means it, because he does. So grateful that you’ve never been the pushy type, never been the type to cage him in or corner him. 

 Jeongguk loves making you cum, because you cum softly. Not like the other girls before you, during you, or the ones that will come after you. So, he focuses on that instead of the pestering thoughts in his head. The ones saying that if he could just figure himself out, maybe it could’ve been you. 

 He concentrates on shedding your clothes, fixates on the way you taste, committing it to memory. He runs his fingers over that star on your ribs, the skin just barely raised. It’s like a message in a special form of braille. I’m sorry etched into your skin, or maybe I tried. 

 You suck in a sharp breath when his tip breaches your center, and as every inch of him slides into you, you exhale a soft whine, brows pinched with a look reminiscent of pain as your lashes flutter.

 Jeongguk doesn’t take his eyes off you as he inhales your breath, drinking down the tiny moans that you make for him. He lingers on the way that you turn away from him like you’re trying to hide the flush that has covered your skin in the sweetest shade of pink, the way that you let your small hands clench into little fists. One by your head, the other at your mouth so you can bite at the knuckle. The way you gasp when he finally pushes into the hilt, back arching, toes curling.

 “So good for me baby, so perfect,” he breathes as he starts to set his pace, hips snapping forward into yours. 

 Your pussy feels like velvet around him, so wet and warm. He shudders every time his swollen tip drags against your walls, and he groans when you pull your legs back, opening yourself up for him.

 He’s got you on your back, tits bouncing as he pulls and pushes inside of you. They are plush and round, and so, so soft as he grips at them roughly. He groans when he digs his fingers in into the squishy skin, hard enough for blossoms to bloom. Your nipples are a dusty rose and they pebble when his touches go from hard to soft and teasing, rubbing over the small buds. Your breathing picks up with his strokes.

 No matter how many times he fucks you, it never gets old or tiring. You never get used to the way his fat cock stretches out your tiny cunt. You never get used to the juxtaposition between his harsh holds and tender caresses. 

 He fucks you so good every single time, it’s mind-numbing. Makes you forget about everything else. Makes you forget about the way your love seems to be on a time limit, the hourglass on its last grains of sand. He fucks you so good that you forget that he’s not yours despite you being so wholly his in every sense of the word. No more ‘you could be his’ floating around in your head.

 His, his, his.

 His to touch, to kiss, to fuck. 

 And he does exactly that. With hips still thrusting into you, he bends at the waist some, wraps his mouth around your nipple, tongue flicking lightly over it, making you mewl underneath him.

 You push up into the sensation, before you curl into yourself, hands coming to cradle his face and card through his hair, pushing some back out of his eyes. He glances at you with a gaze that feels like love, pretty and dark. Smiling, he smirks a little before briefly pulling the bud between his teeth. You hiss and let out the littlest cry of pain. He coos against your chest before soothing you with soft teasing laps of his tongue.

 With legs that are now wrapped around his waist, you use your heels to urge him to focus on fucking you, even if his mouth feels divine. 

 “Faster,” you pant, voice catching on a whine.

 “Yeah, baby?” he asks, moving so he’s over you, braced on the hands he places by your head. “Tell me what you want.”

 You moan, one hand cupping your own tit, the other just resting on his neck. He’s warm to the touch, and glistening with sweat as he fucks into you, fast just like you asked. “Want you to fuck me so good that I never forget it, never forget the way your cock feels inside of me.”

 His hips slow just a little, and he lowers himself to his forearms so that your bodies are close, the friction hot as you rub against each other. He sounds wistful when he brings his lips to your ear, cooing softly, “Don’t worry baby, I’ve already made sure you won’t.”

 He trails a hand down your body and presses against your ribs right where he knows your tattoo is. It makes you gasp, and he nips at your earlobe before he brings his hand back up.

 Instead of pinning your wrists like he normally would, Jeongguk intertwines your fingers. 

 The tears that prick your eyes could be from pleasure or a longing so deep it’s become painful, maybe both, but you don’t have a chance to discern them as your back arches, unable to squirm or move away in his hold.

 “Koo- I’m-” you warn him.

 He speeds his hips up, plunges fast and hard. “Oh baby, that’s it. Show me how this cock makes you feel, show me how I make you feel.”

 Jeongguk holds you down as you cum. Your fingers are laced with his and he moans along with you, pleasured by pleasuring you. By being the one that makes you fall apart, the one that makes you shake, and the one that makes your face look so obscenely pretty as you cum, clenching around his cock. 

 “Fuck,” he whines. Your cunt grips so tight around him, little pulsing contractions making his hips almost halt. 

 When you come down, relaxing a little in his hold, he’s quick to get his lips all over you. Not really kissing, more just mouthing at wherever he can reach as his thrusts grow erratic, fast and sloppy. 

 The sorta-kisses and pants that he breathes are burning hot. Leaving little scorch marks in their wake. When his lips find yours, when he whines the softest, most desperate ‘please’ against them; it’s searing. 

 It hurts to kiss him.

 You don’t know what he’s begging for, and you don’t know why it’s your instinct to say ‘it’s okay’, but you do. You think you hear him let out a quiet, relieved cry as he hides his face in your neck, squeezing your hands so hard you feel like your bones are going to break.

 “You gonna cum for me?” you whisper, voice salacious and saccharine sweet.

 He nods into your neck, a strained ‘Yeah’ falling from his lips. 

 “Baby, lemme see, wanna look at you,” you plead, pussy leaking again at his tone, at how wrecked he sounds.

 He groans and bites into your neck making you keen before he brings himself up a little. You whine when you see him. His eyes heavy, pupils blown. He’s flushed and his expression is hazy as he rams his cock into you, loud slaps and lewd wet noises sounding around you. His tongue licks at his lips and he bites the bottom one a little before his mouth parts, and his brows pinch, a silent moan written all over his features.

 “Gonna cum, fuck-” he whispers as his eyes roll back, before squeezing shut.

 He grits his teeth as he desperately fucks into you, a drop of sweat drips down his nose and lands on your cheek, and his hair sways around his face. You want to tuck it behind his ear so you can see it more clearly when he cums, but his hands are still holding yours. The fast pace he’s set makes your cunt tighten around him again, creaming all over his cock for the second time.

 He gasps and chokes out, “Yeah, god- I’m cumming… fuck I’m cumming-”

 His body tenses, and he spills inside of you as he buries his cock as deep as he can. Your pussy is still clenching as you feel the throbs and jerks, every spurt of white filling you up. He’s still thrusting slowly, milking himself, causing some of his cum to spill out, making you both filthy and gross.

 When he pulls out, he kisses you slow. Lazy licks of his tongue against yours, as he pets at your sweaty skin. With your hands finally free, you card them through his hair, untangling it as you go. He trails fingers down to your core and plays in the mess you both made. You whine a little, tender and a bit sore.

 He kisses you sweetly as an apology. “Let’s get you cleaned up?” he asks, voice small. 

 He takes you to the bathroom, washes you in the warm water and showers you in warm kisses. He lets you do the same to him, hands lathering vanilla soap over every ridge of his muscles. Your pussy pulses when he gets hard again as you wash his cock, but you know you wouldn’t be able to handle another round, so you stroke him till he’s cumming once more, against your tummy, with nothing but a small gasp. 

 The shower made you both pliant and docile, the comfort of your bed too hard to ignore. He falls asleep next to you, arms wrapped around your middle, soft snores tickling your neck. You run your fingers over the stars on his forearm till you succumb to exhaustion just like him. 

 When you wake in the early hours of the morning to light rainfall outside your window washing away the cherry blossoms, you’ll act surprised when Jeongguk is nowhere to be seen. Then you’ll act like it’s not a big deal; like it's the same as all the other times he didn’t stay the night. You’ll act like the ache in your chest isn’t breathtaking, agonizing. Like the pain doesn’t feel different this time. You’ll act like the first shower of the season really does signify new beginnings and you’ll act like the rain isn’t going to be a forever reminder of the end of you and him. Spring is here.

 ~~~

 It’s Jeongguk’s day off and he’s got his hands and his mind busy with playing video games so that he’s distracted and doesn’t have to think about the plethora of things going on in his life at the moment. All of them involving you.

 He’s distracting himself so he doesn’t have to think about the way he left in the middle of the night, after watching you briefly, asleep and serene, soft little puffs of air the only sound besides the rain outside. He is distracting himself so that the image of you reaching out in your sleep for someone who is no longer there, doesn’t plague his mind. He’s distracting himself so that he doesn’t have to acknowledge your calls or texts, incessant since he left. He’s distracting himself so that he doesn’t have to face you, and decide what to do about this thing he’s gotten himself into.

 Normally he would just brush everything under a rug and call it a day. Then settle back into the cyclical routine you both have become so used to. But there was no denying things were coming to a head, emotions gradually growing and becoming too intense, too deep to ignore. Last night was a prime example. Things were just becoming too much. You were becoming too much.

 He knows that’s a shitty way to see it. That it puts most, if not all, the blame on you. But he feels like he’s made it clear since the beginning. Clear that he doesn’t do relationships, that he doesn’t fall in love, that he doesn’t believe in stars the way that you do. Though he did try to make it work. Make himself want what you want. He feels bad. He’s always wanted this to end painlessly, even if that was a far fetched wish, delusional and too hopeful for someone like him. 

 It’ll hurt him too when it’s over. Despite his best efforts to keep his distance, and his feelings out of it, he would be a liar if he said he didn’t grow fond of you. If he said that he didn’t become so attached and comfortable, that even just the few hours he’s been apart from you, weren’t eating at him a little. Even with distractions, the dull ache and unfamiliar longing he feels still thrums in his chest. Like a pesky reminder that something is missing.

 Jimin is next to him on his couch, Jeongguk having called his friend over as another pastime. Jeongguk can see Jimin glancing between him and the phone on the cushion between them that hasn’t stopped going off. When Jimin finally speaks up, it’s expected.

 “Dude. What are you doing?”

 Jeongguk’s jaw tenses, and he too glances at your face on the screen until it goes black. He waits not even a minute before it’s lighting up with another call from you. He flips the phone over and goes back to his game only to see his character died. He groans and sets his controller in his lap before scrubbing his hands over his face.

 “Spring cleaning,” Jeongguk replies, trying to keep his tone nonchalant. 

 “God you're an ass,” Jimin laughs in an incredulous way, “Isn’t it a little late to be ghosting her? I’ve been with Tae for like four months, so it’s gotta be like what? Six months for you guys?”

 “Eight,” Jeongguk drones.

 Jimin’s eyebrows raise. “That’s pretty long for you…”

 He nods, expression a little sullen. The dark circles under his eyes make him look tired. “Yeah, a hook up turned fling turned whatever the fuck it is now… it’s just too much man.”

 Jimin frowns a little before he hums and Jeongguk plays his game while he waits for his friend to process his thoughts. Jimin’s voice is curious and gentle, not accusatory at all. “Is it ‘too much’ because you’re starting to care too much and you don’t know how to deal with that?”

 Jeongguk goes stiff on the couch, and his chest constricts a little. No, that wasn’t it. It can’t be. It’s always been you that cares too much, and him that's never cared enough. It’s you who has always been just a little too much. Too kind, too sensitive, too intense, too in your head, too in love. It’s always been you. You, you, you.

 He’s about to tell Jimin that, vehemently deny what he just said, but Jeongguk doesn’t get a chance to because there’s a knock on his door.

 It’s you.

 Jeongguk knows before Jimin answers the door. He knows before you sneak in despite Jimin doing his best to be a good friend and cover for him, saying that Jeongguk is out and that he’s just house sitting. 

 He knows it’s you before you stand in front of him and state, “I love you.”

 It’s so quiet after you say it, the only sound being heard is the soft video game music barely audible as is. Jeongguk’s hands grip at his controller tight, his knuckles going white, the ink of his tattoos a stark contrast to the skin.

 “Okay…” Jimin murmurs, “I’m going to Tae’s, Jeongguk text me later… or something…” 

 When the door shuts, the atmosphere is heavy with tension. So many different emotions swirling in the small living room, yours and his all mixing together to create a thick concoction that makes the air hard to breathe.

 Jeongguk’s quiet for a moment longer, fingers still jumping on his controller. He can hear your ragged breathing. He glances at you briefly before looking at his game again. 

 “I know,” he responds slowly.

 In his peripheral, he can see the way you deflate, how your face drops and how your lungs exhale a doleful sigh. Dejection is clear in your stance and disappointment permeates the already noxious air.

 Jeongguk lets out a sigh of his own as his brows pinch and his eyes scrunch shut. He meant for it to sound factual, more like a statement, because he did know. He has known for a long time now. He didn’t intend for it to sound patronizing or cruel. 

 “___,” he starts, ready to apologize.

 But he’s cut off.

 “Fuck you,” you whisper, before he gets the change to explain.  

 He pauses his game and looks at you, eyes wide in disbelief. Your voice holds so much pain and resentment that he physically has to keep from recoiling. You didn’t even sound like that after the party. 

 He knows the animosity directed at him isn’t unwarranted, but that doesn’t stop his own irritation from bubbling up, dark and vile in his throat. His expression goes from one of doubt and concern to one of annoyance and discontent.

 “No, fuck you. Why the fuck are you here ___?”

 “What do you mean why the fuck am I here?” you exasperate, throwing your hands up, “You left me in the middle of the night. You disappeared, I woke up and you weren’t there.” You start off strong but taper out at the end.

 Jeongguk feels his heart break just a little, small cracks like spider veins fracture the surface when he hears the way your voice shakes, like you’re trying so hard to hold on to the anger you feel and not let the hurt, the betrayal seep through.

 It’s like whiplash with you. His emotions flipping like a switch, at the drop of a dime. It goes from him feeling irritated and mad, close to throwing you out, to him feeling bad, like he needs to coddle you, take care of you. His hands reach out for just a moment like he wants to hold you.

 “I’m sorry-”

 “Why did you leave?” you interject.

 Jeongguk’s hands drop as he fishes for the right words to say, to explain to you why he couldn’t stay. Why one more rest with you would have been too much. The love in your eyes didn’t fade at all last night, his only reprieve coming when you closed your eyes to sleep. He couldn’t be there when you woke up, only to see it again. Sleepy, calm, poignant love and adoration that is misplaced and wasted on someone like him. 

 He doesn’t mean for it to come out cold and detached but it does when he says, “It was better for you if I left.” But he can’t help it. His walls are coming up and his doors are closing. He shouldn’t have let you in in the first place, shouldn’t have let you stay so long.

 You look at him like you’re desperately trying to understand what he means, why he does the things he does. “Why would that be better for me?” you almost beg. “Why can’t you just be better for me?”

 You’re crying now, and though he aches because you ache, so fucking in tune with you at this point, something about your words makes something ugly and mean stir inside of him. But he bites it down, swallows even though he feels like he’s going to be sick. He still tries to be gentle with you, patient as he calmly says, “Baby… I can’t be what you need, this-”

 “Why can’t you?” you interrupt, voice sharp and insistent. Demanding and hurt.

 “Because I-”

 “Because you won’t try?” 

 God, you won’t stop interrupting him. He raises to his feet and his voice raises as well, frustration over taking the patience he’s tried to keep with you.

 “I did try! I’m texting you constantly about where I am, I’m not going to parties or hanging out with my friends. I hardly sleep by myself anymore! I’m always fucking with you, what more do you want from me?”

 You’re jaw drops and you feel like you’ve been slapped in the face. Months of never asking for more than he was willing to give, months of settling for what he did, and he still ended up resenting you. Blaming you for whatever it is that seems like it almost destined you both to fail. It hurts. 

 “I never asked you to do that! I never demanded anything from you. I never wanted anything you didn’t want to give. I still don’t!”

 “I did it for you! I tried for you,” he almost whines, but his tone still holds some anger. “Almost everything I do is for you. I did all of it so that this,” he gestures between the two of you, “wouldn’t hurt so bad.”

 You look at him like you cannot believe the words that came out of his mouth. A short laugh falls from your lips. It lacks the joy and warmth that usually accompanies the smiles you give him. This one is sarcastic and cold and unconvinced. “You didn’t do shit for me, Jeongguk. You’re selfish. You always have been.”

 You watch as he slumps, like you’ve figured it out.

 He’s been pacing a little as the conversation between you both escalates, but he comes to a stop a little bit in front of you, his eyes sad and searching. 

 You’re right, but you’re also so devastatingly wrong. Because didn’t you know? He indeed did do so many things for you, with you in mind. Because yes, he is selfish with you. But he never wanted to hurt you. He’s always cared in his own twisted way.

 All those nights that you wanted him to stay, but he chose not to and left you alone, were for you. Because if it hurts now, letting him go, imagine how excruciating it would be if he had stayed. Imagine how many more nights you would have to remember when you wished you could forget.

 The lack of a label was for you too. Because although they say labels don’t mean much, when you have it and it gets taken away, it’s just a reminder of what you have lost. In his mind, you couldn’t miss being in a relationship with him if you never really were.

 In hindsight, it was for him too. This hurts more than he thought it would, but you and him? It has to end, it’s gone on too long already.

 But he lets you believe what you want. He lets you think that he is the bad guy. He thinks that maybe you need to blame him, despite the flaws in yourself, in order for you to be okay. And maybe you’re not wrong. Maybe he is the bad guy. He feels like he is. 

 “I don’t know what you want me to say, ___,” he says.

 “I want you to tell me, why. Why can’t you be better for me?” you repeat. “Why didn’t you let me go? Why did you hurt me over and over and over again? Why did you waste both of our time?” You’re borderline yelling, and the tears leaking from the corners of your eyes are a perfect mix of bitter and heartbroken. “Why can’t you just love me the way you’re supposed to?”

 Jeongguk takes in the angry curve of your brow and your quivering chin. But it doesn’t hit him like it should. It doesn’t tug at his heart like it should. In that moment, he doesn’t want to make it better anymore, he doesn’t want to do anything to ease the pain that is so evidently written on your face. His emotions flip flopping once again.

 Like he’s supposed to. There’s something about that sentence, something about the way you phrase certain things that just irks him, makes his blood boil. Like you’ve idealized and romanticized things so much that you don’t realize that there is no ‘supposed to be’. 

 There is no status quo for love. 

 There’s no predetermined way for things to be or end up. 

 Things, love, life- it just doesn’t work like that. 

 It’s always been like this though, you saying something, him getting annoyed and then him tucking it away because it wasn’t really that big of a deal, because he didn’t want to hurt you by mentioning it. 

 But tucking everything away has let it build up and fester like an infection. He can’t keep the condescending venom out of his words, and once they start coming out, they won’t stop. He hates himself for it, and he’s sorry before the words even leave his lips. Because fuck, he doesn’t want to hurt you. 

 But he knows he’s going to. That maybe he has to in order for you to see what he meant, on the pier that night so long ago, when he said that you would find out what it means to be someone like him. Someone you shouldn’t have made the brightest star in your sky.

 “What? Like how you wrote it in your head?” he seethes. He waits, impatient for an answer, but all he gets is your expression going from pained to confused. “Huh?” he eggs you on, and you stutter a little before he continues, “Okay, tell me what happens next. How did you script it, ___?” 

 He takes a step closer to you and tilts his head while looking at you. You shrink in on yourself, but don’t back away. “C’mon, tell me how it goes. Fast forward- make me fall in love with you,” his voice is antagonizing and malicious. “That’s what you wanted the whole time, right? That’s how it’s supposed to be?”

 You’re taken aback as you shake your head at him, like he’s got it all wrong, like he’s lying. “I- I did try, I tried to get you to Io-”

 He cuts you off, his bottled up feelings spilling out. “No, you didn’t. You wrote a fucking story in your head and made it your mission to bring it to life through you and me.” 

 With harsh breaths huffing from his nose, and his chest rising and falling, he looks at you. Waiting for his words to sink in. You don’t respond, and you jump a little when sets his hands on your shoulders. His demeanor is closed off and cold. 

 “We aren’t characters that need development or whatever the fuck, and we live normal lives. We don’t live through chapters, and we don’t get happy endings. I can’t be the me you’ve created in your head.” 

 He’s whispering and his words are razor sharp, full of disgust and disdain. “I’m not a character in your story, and I’m not made of the fucking stars. I’m my own fucking person, and I will never be yours, not like that.” 

 His chest is heaving and it feels like he’s taking all the air in the room because you can’t breathe. 

 You tried so hard to separate him, both of you, from the versions of you and him that you had in your head. Ever since that lecture. But dreaming of different things, different realities, was how you dealt with it. With him being the calamitous contradiction that he is. So sweet and easy to love, yet so unattainable in the same breath. 

 In one reality, you were his, and in another he was yours. In a different one, you both were one and the same. A single star. You had hoped that that was this reality. But it seems that you were wrong. 

 “I’m sorry,” you breathe, an airy panic lacing your tone. “I know I can get lost in my head sometimes, but I didn’t mean to. I actively tried not to with you,” you tell him, clenching at his shirt, desperate for him to understand and believe you.

 His eyes stay hard though, as he looks down his nose at you. And you know you’ve lost him. The indifference in his gaze is stifling and it brings fresh tears to your eyes. It’s like he has his mind made up. You think maybe it’s been made up since he left your bed last night.

 “You should go,” he says quietly. His hands are gentle but insistent as he untangles yours from him.

 “Jeongguk, Koo- please-”

 “___, just stop! You’re making this harder. For both of us! You’re making it hurt worse- I- it was never going to work, you know that,” he tells you, his hands moving to your shoulders, pushing you away and softly as he can. He sounds desperate, like he’s trying to convince someone. You, maybe himself. 

 It’s possibly the way the light hits them, but you think you see his eyes go glassy as he says, “Please leave, ___.”

 And so you do. You’ve never asked for what he didn’t want to give. 

 You dreamt of different realities to help deal with things because in this reality, you were just visiting, and he was just passing through.

 ~~~

 summer 

 The world doesn’t stop spinning just because you’re hurting and time doesn’t stand still or give you a moment to catch your breath. The stars still glow in the sky, they still fall to earth, and the sun still shines warm up above even though it still feels cold without him by your side. 

 The ever present, lonely, raw pain that comes from losing someone that had become such an integral part of your life is a reminder that love is no longer the soft pink you once thought it was, but the same shade of blue that stains your pillowcases. 

 When you said pain was good for your art, you didn’t mean this kind. 

 But alas, you still have to live; go. Go to the last few weeks of classes, brain on autopilot for your finals. Go through the motions of getting your cap and gown, walking the stage, getting your degree. 

 Go on as if seeing Jimin at your graduation for Taehyung doesn’t cause a sheer, acute ache in your chest when you see he came alone. No blue in sight, just blue in your heart. 

 You give Jimin the necklace resting between your collarbones because it just doesn’t go there anymore, telling him to give it back to Jeongguk. You go on and on with a sad smile about how it’s okay, about how it’s not going good yet, but going nonetheless. 

 Going eventually turns to moving. Moving across the globe for an internship. Moving to just get away from it all, moving for a fresh start. 

 You move things around your new place alone, even though help would have been nice, just so you know you can move by yourself- just be by yourself. 

 You move around the new city as if it’s your first life, awestruck by the hustle and bustle, the world so much bigger than you thought. Bigger than doe-eyes and pretty tattoos. You move somewhere where the lights take the place of the stars. You move and come to the conclusion that maybe that’s okay. 

 Going through the motions gradually turns to moving on. Sometimes it’s still a soft tender ache, a passive yearning for what was; what could have been. But it doesn’t hurt anymore.

 ~~~

 epilogue 

 It’s a different font, but the sign still says the same thing. 

 You suppose some things are bound to change in the years since you last came here. 

 Coffee shops aren’t supposed to be intimidating or daunting. But Blushing Brews is exactly that. You pause with your hand raised, the door handle just within reach. You’ve been home a couple times since you moved abroad, but you’ve never come back here.

 You know it’s silly, and a bit irrational. That the likelihood of running into someone you know in the same place you met them is slim to none. Taehyung and Jimin moved away, still in the motherland, but away. Yoongi is still in town, but most likely busy with work. 

 It’s not like they are the ones you’re worried about though.

 You don’t know exactly where Jeongguk is, but you know he’s doing well. At least since the last time you checked. You don’t lurk as often these days, if at all. Don’t feel the need to. But when you first moved you checked a lot. Of course you did.

 He kind of dropped off the map after you left. He was never big on social media to begin with, but his presence was non existent for a couple months. Until his work accounts started popping up. His pages are filled with his artwork, his tattoos. Never him though, nothing personal, only professional. He’s quite successful, has built a big name for himself. 

 You haven’t seen much of him in years. Only the occasional picture of him on Jimin’s accounts. But even those are few and far between. People get older, life gets busy. It’s probably been a year plus some since he’s popped up on one of your feeds.

 So it’s likely he’s not here. He wasn’t the type to stay in one place for too long.

 When you walk in it’s like a tsunami of nostalgia. It knocks the wind out of you and you have to pause to catch your breath.

 It’s renovated, almost nothing the same, but the counter is right where it was before and so is the table you used to sit at. Right by the window. It’s busy inside, but your spot is empty, almost like you were supposed to come in, take a rest. Catch your breath.

 The smell of coffee is familiar and the chatter of people around you is comforting in a strange way. You kind of feel like you’re in a fishbowl, watching the outside from within, the voices muted because your ears are filled with water.

 You jump when you feel a tap on your shoulder and you hold your breath when you turn around.

 “Miss, are you going to order?”

 You exhale, loud and let out a shaky laugh telling the person to go ahead. It’s not going to happen. Life doesn’t work like that.

 The boy behind the counter is sweet, looks about the age you were when you would come here just a handful years ago. He tells you the specials with a happy grin, asks if you’re okay paying extra for the oat milk in your iced latte.

 Being sat at the table is weird at first. A rush of memories whirling through your head like a vintage film reel. Too fast to decipher, too loud to discern. But eventually your mind quiets, the memories slow, and the atmosphere becomes a bit more pleasant and a little less stifling. 

 You take out your ipad, your initial intention being working here, but you open an ebook you haven’t touched in a while. A fantasy novel. One with an intricate little world to get lost in, complex characters to fall in love with, and some to grow to despise. You don’t daydream often anymore, but once in a while, it’s okay to give in.

 Typically when you get invested, it’s hard to get your attention. The world could be ending around you but as long as the world you were reading about still existed? It was like nothing else mattered. 

 So when you hear a loud laugh cut through the reading haze you safely surround yourself in, you freeze. The hairs on your arms stand up, and you close your eyes tightly before slowly scanning the cafe. 

 You scold yourself for the way your heart sinks when your search comes up empty. With a shake of your head and a sip of your coffee, you get back to your book. You started about mid-way through when you first got here, and now only have about a quarter left. You must have been here for a while. You’ll leave when you finish this chapter.

 The coffee being placed on the table is what you see first.

 “Oh, I didn’t order th-”

 “Do you still drink macchiatos?”

 God it’s cruel. 

 It’s cruel, the way the world goes pink again, the way that everything feels like is aligning, like things have finally fallen into place. Like you can see clearer than you have in years, like you can breathe easier than you have since you left. Like everything that happened before only happened to lead you right to this exact moment.

 It’s cruel because that’s not the way things work.

 Since you’ve been away, you’ve grown up and realized that stars are just stars and that people are just people. Creatures of habit and selfish by nature. You still believe in love and in endings that are happy but you’re not naive anymore. You don’t believe in fate, or the little lights in the sky, or in could be’s like you used to. 

 But that doesn’t stop the tiny gasp you let out when you see him. It doesn’t stop your eyes from lighting up and it doesn’t stop your heart from glowing pink in your chest, just like it used to.

 “Jeongguk-” 

 It’s not supposed to feel like this. It’s been years and you’ve moved on. His gaze isn’t supposed to feel like a kiss and his smile isn’t supposed to feel like coming home. When you take his insistent coffee from his hand and your fingers brush, it’s not supposed to still burn. The flame was supposed to go out.

 “What are you doing here?” you ask, eyes not leaving him as he takes it upon himself to sit across from you.

 His hair is brown again, unlike the blue it was when you left his apartment the last time you saw him, but it’s still long. His arm is even more full of ink, and he’s still the prettiest thing you have ever seen.

 Jeongguk laughs lightly, a twinge of uncomfort lacing it. “I had to drop stuff off, the head forgot to order sugar, but she’s out of town right now.” 

 Your brows raise. “And you’re next in command?” You try to make it a joke, but small talk after years is always a bit stiff. 

 He nods. “Yeah, well I kind of own it.”

 “Kind of?” you ask, leaning forward on your elbows.

 He goes tense, and he back tracks.

 “Well kind of because  I-” he stutters and then looks at you like he wishes he didn’t say anything.

 His panicked face has always been funny. His wide eyes and his mouth that always seems to be open a little bit. Brows turned up with misplaced worry. You smile instinctively.

 It’s always been so easy.

 “You what?” you press, tone soft and inquisitive. It’s a bit awkward, because of course it is. Time didn’t stop and you both aren’t the same as you were back then, but there’s still something. You don’t let yourself think about it. 

 He looks at you, searches your face before his lips pull down in a deep frown. He sighs and rubs a hand on the back of his neck. “I… My wife. She owns it.”

 God it’s so cruel.

 Your face falls before you can stop it. You know because his mirrors yours.

 “Y-you’re married?” It sounds shocked and tinted with unjustified betrayal, even to your own ears, so when Jeongguk shrinks in on himself it's no surprise to you.

 The betrayal is unwarranted because humans are selfish and it’s not like you stayed single this whole time. But it’s only been a small amount of years, you’re both still so young, and he’s never wanted that. Commitment, the loss of freedom, the stability, predictability.

 Or maybe, you realize, he just never wanted it with you.

 When all he does is nod, you ask as gently as you can, as innocently as possible, to not come off as if you’re prying even though you know you are. “Do I know her?”

 He nods again looking down. It’s a few long moments before he clears his throat and speaks up. His hands are folded on the table, fidgeting nervously. The band on the ring finger is glaringly obvious now, like it’s mocking you. “Do you remember Young-Mi? She’s Dae Jung’s niece?”

 If your heart could sink further than the ground it’s already sunk to, it would have. Young-Mi. The girl that took his place at the register when he started his full time tattoo work. She was sweet, and apparently the owner’s niece, but she always charged for the oat milk.

 He met her in the same place that he met you. The coffee shop is no longer yours and his, but theirs. The memories he made with you here, have probably been replaced, forgotten, to make room for his and hers. 

 The kisses that you stole with him, unknowingly in front of her while she was behind the counter and the soft touches and sweet words and the way you would sneakily lick the foam off of his upper lip- it’s all just dirtied backwash now and it’s so sick. Gut churning enough for the coffee in your belly to want to come back up. You swallow it down.

 “When?” you whisper.

 “The Fall.”

 You try to muster up a smile, try to get yourself together because fuck, you’re supposed to be over this, over him. “Because that’s your favorite season?”

 It hurts in a way you can’t explain when he replies, “Ours” and doesn’t mean you and him.

 The thing about idealizations concerning real life relations is that they are a recipe for disaster. To idealize something is to regard it as perfect and better than it is in reality. When you do that with relationships, you’re setting it up to fail. That’s always been your mistake.

 You haven’t idealized or romanticized him in a long time, and you haven’t been in a relationship with him, ever technically, but it hurts like you have. The sting is sharp and piercing, different than any you’ve felt before in regards to him.

 Jeongguk was cynical at that party so long ago. The one with the stained sofa. It was a different conversation technically. That one about soulmates, this one about idealizations, but similar enough in the way that they both end in pain and regret. And he was right, to be cynical, and a harsh realist. It’s ironic how the universe works things out. 

 You look down and smile to yourself, a willful expression to urge the tears away. When you look up, you keep the smile pasted, making it bigger in fact. You nod softly and say, “I’m so happy for you, Jeongguk.”

 He looks like he’s sorry, a little confused but he nods. “We just got a house?”

 It sounds like a question, like he’s grasping at straws to keep the conversation going but has no clue how to change the subject.

 You laugh a little. For someone who never wanted to settle down, he never really strayed very far.

 “Me too. I just moved back. I live alone though.”

 He looks taken aback by the news. Brows pinched more aggressively than before, but still confused. “You’re back? For good?”

 You shift in your seat and nod.

 “Did you tell anyone? Tae or Jimin? Yoongi?”

 You shake your head, you sound hesitant, the tone he’s taking with you making you a little unsure. “I um- I wanted it to be a surprise for my parents. The only person that knew was my sister because she let me stay with her while I got the house together.”

 Jeongguk’s head has started to shake, small little sways like he doesn’t believe you. “I- It’s been years. I didn’t think you were coming back… I didn’t know.”

 Doe-eyes aren’t supposed to be forlorn, and they aren’t supposed to carry sadness. But the ones looking back at you do. Your brows furrow and you frown, ready to ask what he's talking about when he speaks again.

 “I waited for you. For years I was waiting-”

 You shake your head like you didn’t hear him right, backing your chair up some to put space between you. “You what? I- Jeongguk. You got married.” You say it like you’re reminding him.

 He grimaces, and sighs like he’s frustrated. “Yes. We were engaged for forever but I never agreed to a date until 4 months ago because all the time before that I was hoping-” 

 Cruel, cruel, cruel. 

 This can’t be happening. 

 Your mouth opens and closes, trying to find the words to say. But what is there to say? 

 “I miss you, ___.”

 You freeze and lock eyes with him. You shake your head, a shocked laugh sputtering past your lips. “Jeongguk, don’t.”

 He doesn’t listen.

 “I’ve thought about you every day-”

 “Jeongguk-” You grip the table and shut your eyes like if you will him away, this nightmare will stop. 

 He leans forward, eager declarations spilling from his mouth. But you don’t hear them because as soon as you look at him again, a little flower falls out of his shirt. Your mouth parts and your face looks like you’re in pain because you are. Your eyes bounce between the cherry blossom and his face like you can’t believe it.

 Catching on, he grips the necklace. “I was going to go back to you. Oh my god, ___ I swear I was.” 

 He waits for you to respond but you don’t. You feel like the room is closing in on itself. 

 “But Jimin gave this back to me and said you were leaving the country and that you were excited for a new start and that you were so close to being okay again and getting better I-” he deflates some as he sits back in his chair “-I couldn’t take that away from you. I couldn’t be selfish with you again.”

 “Please stop,” you whisper.

 “I never take it off because it reminds me of you. This spot in the shop has never been without a table because it was yours, and it reminds me of you.” He points to the little stars on his forearm. “I never covered it up because it reminds me of you.”

 He’s whispering now, and your tone matches his. “You’re married. You got married.”

 He shakes his head. “It’s not the same with her, it’s never felt the same. She doesn’t make me feel the way you did. The way you do.”

 “Stop talking.”

 “How was I supposed to know it was you? When I didn’t even believe in love back then?” He sounds desperate, close to tears almost.

 You’ve always thought the cruelest thing that could happen to someone was meeting the right person at the wrong time. You smile at him, soft and gentle.

 “You didn’t have to know, you just had to try.” 

 Jeongguk sees the way your eyes are dimming and how you’re shutting him out and he panics, shakes his head vehemently at you. You gasp when he clutches at your hands, when you start to gather your things. 

 “No, no, no-” he chants quietly. “This is so fucked up. Everything is so fucked up,” he squeezes your hands, jostles them some. “You still feel it, I know you still feel it too.”

 You look at him, and you see the way he means it. It’s too late, but finally. He feels the same way you do. 

 “I do feel it,” you whisper, heart heavy in your chest, “but we can’t Jeongguk, you-”

 “Do you still have your tattoo?” he cuts you off.

 You nod hesitantly. How could you ever cover it up? Erase him?

 His head hangs, and the hands that are still clutching yours squeeze tightly before coming to his hair. He rests his head in his palms for a few moments. When he looks at you again, it’s like he worked through something quietly with himself.

 He holds eye contact with you when he asks, “Can I see it again? One more time, at least?”

 You suck in a sharp breath. You know what he’s asking.

 Since you’ve been away, you’ve grown up and realized that stars are just stars and that people are just people. Creatures of habit and selfish by nature. Jeongguk is no exception to that, and maybe you haven’t changed as much as you thought.

~~~~~

oc homewrecker ?? LMAO but ok if you read the whole thing i am in LOVE with you (even if you hate me for the ending lol) and am so grateful for you. i can’t think of anything else to say bc i am so nervous lol but anyway if you liked it pls pls pls do all the things: like, reblog, comment, share, send an ask i am DYING to know what u thought!! thank u so so much for reading!

oh also... team jk or team oc ?

jreampie scene in jimin’s room dedicated to luna <3

ALSO!! this is my submission for the “spring will come” event run by @bangtanarmynet

“Yeah, yeah. Eva and her perfect life,” you whispered to yourself, a hand drumming against your little side bag while your eyes scanned your surroundings.

Honestly, you weren’t in the mood for the hunting trip tonight at all - you’d rather wanted to stay at home, play a game with your sister while listening to your parents’ past stories that never ended, a new memory adding to an old one each time they began to talk. But as the daughter of the most important person of your little village, this trip was nothing you were able or allowed to miss.

Having the reputation of the most powerful, young sorceress of your big family always seemed intriguing to others. Little did they know how much of a toll it took on you, the responsibility on your shoulders constantly dragging you down as if it weighed tons.

You’d once told your father that you didn’t intend to take over his place - he was free to assign this to your eldest cousin or whoever. But being the responsible adult who adhered to all rules, he had declined your offer and insisted on making you take over his place as the head magician of the village.

And now, here you were, trotting through the soil to find the spirits that had haunted several civilians in the last few months. While evil entities torturing people’s sleep only happened once in half a decade, you felt exhausted already, all nervousness from last night having vanished as you tried to detect the last soul that was still hiding from you.

Your father had long returned home after he’d been injured a few hours ago - the pain wasn’t too bad, but it was enough to have his guardians drag him away to not risk further damage. So, now, you were alone, having volunteered to stay back like the idiot that you were - you didn’t even know enough about hunting.

You’d trained your magic skills for years, yes, anything water and ice-related burned into your mind, but facing an actual spirit was beyond anything you’d ever practised. And when you finally heard the sound of steps on leaves, you stopped in your tracks, eyes and ears sharpening.

The air around you grew colder, your breath visible in front of your face, and you lifted your hands as you readied yourself for a spell.

“Come on,” you whispered, knees bent slightly, waiting for something to happen.

And when it did, you were caught completely off guard - you flew against the nearest tree, back hitting the trunk so harshly that you felt your head spin.

Your hand automatically raised again, extracting the moisture from the ground to form a shield in front of you that you froze into ice. You knew it wasn’t the most effective method to defend yourself against a supernatural creature, but the idea of being vulnerable was even more daunting.

You could still hear the footsteps and the ruffling of the leaves, but it was impossible to say where the sounds came from. And if you didn’t concentrate now, you could end up as one of these nasty spirits.

Taking a deep breath, you emptied your mind, the thought of a tracking spell forming in your brain as you inspected the energy of your surroundings, trying to detect where the creature was lingering around. Your arm started to tingle, the urge to scratch strong - but you tried hard not to let your attention shift to the little games this devil was playing, scrambling for the spell instead.

And you were almost there - there was just a little more left to kill this spirit once and for all; but instead, you noticed louder and faster footsteps, breaking your focus as you felt the whole of your gathered energy falter.

Annoyed and slightly intimidated, you looked into the direction of the runner, only to see that it was a face you hadn’t seen in years - one that you’d avoided at all cost.

You couldn’t count on two hands how many times you both had fought over nothing, standing and yelling at a safe distance as you pointed accusing fingers at him for everything, be it a broken toy, accidental magic slips, or a squished flower.

But that was ages ago; that was when you’d still accompany your father to monthly visits to the other village when he and the leader of the other place would discuss details about your borders and what belonged to whom. This didn’t happen anymore, though. By now, the rules had been cleared, and in that sense, you hadn’t seen this particular boy grow up either.

He halted right in front of you, his eyes apparently seeing something that you couldn’t when he shot an invisible heatwave into one direction skillfully while you stood there in a useless manner, staring at his now long hair and broad shoulders.

And then, everything calmed down.

“This one was mine, Jungkook!” you yelled as you ran a half-circle around him, glaring at him.

But, fuck, the moment he looked at you, you were mesmerised. Jungkook had changed indeed - he looked so much more mature now, the curls put back in a bun and his muscles peeking through the tight shirt that he wore underneath his open jacket.

He stared at you without a care, shrugging before he answered, “You obviously needed help.”

You rolled your eyes. He’d been one of the reasons you’d been reluctant to even come hunting - you’d known for sure that he’d be here with his people, and just when you’d thought you wouldn’t see him anymore, he’d now suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

And it irritated you.

Because Jungkook was someone who didn’t need to work around a lot of words to rile you up. He emanated so much arrogance and narcissism that you wanted to smash his aura with your feet and hope that his face came in between.

Unfortunately, you weren’t allowed to touch him. In any way.

And as you readied yourself to remark something, you suddenly felt your whole weight get pushed to the side and onto the ground, landing harshly on the floor only a few feet away from Jungkook.

The light around you vanished and darkness took its place, only leaving you with enough illumination to see as much as you needed to operate.

Seemed like the spirit wasn’t gone after all; because just now, it had trapped you in place.

That’s what spirits did to people: they’d lure them into their territory, a spot they were the strongest at - then, they’d cage them somewhere safe and make their prisoners either go insane until they could feed off their fear, or wait for them to starve to consume the soul that their bodies didn’t need anymore.

In most cases, people didn’t possess magical abilities - as for you, it was just as terrifying. But you weren’t as defenseless as others - you had a chance to survive. You just had to figure out how. At least the spirit had been friendly enough to grant you some time now - because the moment the walls around you had closed, you felt your magic slip, the barrier draining you for the time being.

“What went wrong?” you immediately questioned, glaring at Jungkook as you stood, clearing your clothes from the dirt.

“Don’t know,” he answered, inspecting the invisible cage with a float of his hands, “that was another spirit. Seems like there was one that we didn’t expect - this spell doesn’t have the same energy as the spirit I just killed.”

Jungkook could do that - detect energies this easily. His power derived from fire, the most furious of the elements, and seeing as his energy could be formed into heat, it was easier for him to hunt. These things came naturally to him, were his comfort zone since he’d been born.

That was also the reason why you’d found it so hard to find the presence of the spirit earlier - you with your water powers were more skilled in other areas; yet another reason why you hated hunting in the forest so much but loved to save a harmless turtle from its predator.

“What now?” you asked him, watching him sit down on a flat, knee-high stone.

“We have to wait until our magic comes back. And then think of something.” His tone was so calm, like he didn’t care about all of these at all - either this or he wanted to appear like this in front of his enemy, too stubborn to show that he might be scared, too.

Either way, you couldn’t deny that he was absolutely right. There was nothing more you could do but wait.

Another hard thump against the wall had you groaning in anger when you realised that it wouldn’t budge. Although you already knew, the final realisation hit you - you were definitely stuck with him here between the shadows of the big oak trees, and maybe it wouldn’t have been half as bad if you didn’t feel his glare boring holes into your back.

“What?” you snapped, looking at him as you shifted your weight to one leg.

He shrugged, his fingertips brushing the blossoms of the blue flower he had picked while you’d almost broken your wrist trying to break out from here. His gaze was blank, no feelings behind his dark eyes as he waited for you to calm down.

You sighed when you realized that anger would get you nowhere - you had to take a deep breath and work on a solution, so you could go home. In that sense, you headed to the nearest stone to sit down, surprised when you suddenly heard Jungkook clear his throat before he remarked, “I wouldn’t. It looks as if some animal… emptied itself there.”

Stopping in your tracks, you looked down to the pile of excrements on the surface of the stone, grimacing as you changed the direction. “Didn’t think you’d care about what happens to my clothes... or me.”

“I don’t. I just find it funny that you haven’t changed at all. You still don’t register what happens around you,” he stated with a slight lilt in his voice, provoking you further.

“Jungkook, you haven’t seen me in years. Don’t act like you know me.”

He rolled his eyes, brushing through his long hair. Looking at him like this, you had to admit that he looked incredibly handsome. Growing up, he’d gained some muscular weight, his facial features had become sharper and his height had shot up in no time. There was still no doubt that you hated him; but above all, you were mature enough to admit to yourself that you despised a man who was undoubtedly beautiful.

“Whatever,” came his reply, his eyes on yours pulling you out of your thoughts, “I have an idea.”

One of your eyebrows shot up and you leaned forward to put your elbows on your legs, hands cupping your face as you listened. Jungkook looked at you with a tilt of his head - when had you become so pretty?

“Uh. How well trained are your telepathic skills?” he asked, and you knew immediately what he was hinting at.

“I think I might be able to reach Dad, but since we’re stuck between magical walls, it will cost me a lot of energy to do so,” you admitted while already searching your brain for the right type of power that was needed for this.

Jungkook rubbed his neck in thought, trying to come up with something that could, would, work. “I can lend you some of my energy. I can’t do telepathy, but I know your family can.”

He was right. Despite channeling your magic from your element, telepathy was something that was practically your family’s core prowess. You’d always had it, just like Jungkook’s family had always had the ability to see for miles, a clear vision that helped when they needed to fight their enemies. You reckoned this was also the reason he’d known where you’d been when he’d helped you before.

Jungkook’s fire magic was extremely powerful - so it only made sense to let him aid you if you wanted to get out of here. You nodded after hesitating for a while, standing up and walking towards him.

“Do you know how that works?” he asked you, leaving his seat and raising his hands, palms facing the sky.

You nodded again, placing your hands right over his, careful not to touch him, but to hover near enough to feel the energy. Immediately, you registered another sting inside you, a pain searing in your hands and spreading across your arms, accompanied by the same weird tingle you’d felt when the spirit had attacked you.

“God. Hurts,” you simply said, looking at him and noticing that he, too, had contorted his face into a grimace. “Okay.”

You had to hurry up.

Closing your eyes, you sought out the spell to reach your father, mumbling the words in your head along with his name repeatedly until you felt the magic grow in you.

The darkness behind your eyelids got replaced by images of the forest, your house, your father’s eyes until it stopped right before you arrived. That was the moment you needed Jungkook. Instantly, you concentrated on your hands instead of your pain, feeling the warmth seep into you as if he was a fireplace, burning so hot that it almost overwhelmed you.

Not only touching him was fatal - apparently it was dangerous to borrow his magic, too.

“Okay,” you whispered, tears stinging in the corners of your eyes as the discomfort became more intense with each word, your mind already starting to fog while you tried to hold on. “Okay.”

Sighing deeply, you let his heat flow through you, calling for your father, squeezing your eyes shut harder and concentrating until -

You knew you were connected with him when you heard your name in his voice, and you hurried to tell him what was happening, where you thought you were, sending your energy, so he could track it. With a promise to be there as fast as he could, the connection dropped at the same time that you did, and Jungkook was quick to pull his hands away before he could touch you.

On your knees and hands, you panted, feeling endlessly dizzy, yet proud of yourself for achieving this feat. You hadn’t obtained all of your magic back yet, and maybe you both had tried this too early, but you were glad that you had. Truth be told, you couldn't have done it without his help. Speaking of whom-

“Are you alright?” he asked, actual worry coating his deep voice as he kneeled.

“I will be. Just mind… hazy,” you managed, carefully standing up to approach your stone again, holding onto the edges of it to get yourself together. You looked at his questioning expression, clearly asking you what you’d said and gotten as an answer.

Your breathing calming down, you nodded softly before you mumbled, “Soon.”

Soon.

It felt like half an eternity since you’d contacted your father, and when you started shivering, goosebumps forming around your bare clavicles, time seemed to pass even slower. With the cold of the night approaching, you weren’t sure how long you’d be able to sit here without snapping yet again.

But trying not to shift Jungkook’s attention to you, you sat up straight, a nonchalant expression taking over your face as you put on the tough act again. Despite your efforts, however, your trembling was unmistakable, and a brief glance at you made Jungkook leave out a quiet chuckle.

He stood up, pulling his leather jacket off his shoulders and draping it over you unexpectedly. Your eyes widened in surprise the same time your arm started itching, and a quick look at Jungkook’s exposed arms had you nearly faint on the spot before you could ask him about his friendly act.

Not only was he as muscular as you’d expected, the biceps flexing each time he brought his hands to his hair; the beautiful flower mark that all your people knew had also captured your attention right away.

It explained in the split of a millisecond why you’d felt this burning sensation on your skin the whole night, the urge to scratch as strong as it would be with a rash. And as you stared at his glowing blue flower, extended to not only his wrist but to his upper arm, too, you were stunned, captured in a feeling that was something between awe and fear.

“You - Jungkook…” you whispered, shocked when you realized that he was hearing, but ignoring you. He knew.

In an instant, you lifted your sleeve just a little, seeing the sprouts and blossoms of your own plant spreading across your wrist as they glowed in the same cyan as Jungkook’s and your throat tightened, your heart unsure if it should allow you to cry or not.

“This is… a misunderstanding, right?” you inquired, your breath shaking.

Soulmates were usually bound to come and stay together, forced to entrust their life to each other. In a world like yours, falling in love voluntarily was seldom an option, given the fact that destiny decided your fate the moment you were born. While choosing someone who didn’t hold this title was easy, it mostly turned out to be a disaster over the course of time, making it practically impossible to stay happy with a non-soulmate.

But your oldest magic settling on someone from another village, especially someone you so long ago decided to loathe forever, was rare. You remembered the last similar case, and you knew that something like this had the potential to end in nothing less than a tremendous fight between your families, despite you both having no say in when your flowers bloomed.

No.

This wasn’t real.

“I wish,” Jungkook answered, shaking his head, “I wish it was a misunderstanding. But my skin has been tingling the whole time. So… yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, if you knew?!” you inquired, standing up so abruptly that his jacket fell off of one of your shoulders.

You were furious, confused, but in contrast to you, he didn’t seem to be affected at all, only sitting on his stone and fumbling with his fingers while his naked arms rested on his thighs. “What for? It’s not like we’ll listen… and I figured, you might have noticed. Does your arm not hurt?”

A look at your now covered skin and you sighed, nodding before you said, “Well... tickles. Burns just a little, too.”

Jungkook didn’t answer, but focused on a butterfly instead, leaving you both in silence as you tried to comprehend what that meant for you. “How do we- what do we do? How can this be possible, if there’s nothing but hate between us?”

He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, chuckling lightly as he declared, “I don’t even hate you.”

You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief before you scoffed, “I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, that’s not my problem, Y/N.”

“Listen, this-” you started, but were quickly interrupted by a loud thud behind you, having you flinch so hard that Jungkook’s jacket flew off completely now.

He didn’t hesitate to move forward, picking it up and putting it on you again before he approached the direction the sound had come from, voices suddenly echoing through the forest. You turned around to see that your father had finally arrived with some of his men, and you ran towards the faces you knew so quickly, as if you feared that the walls would close again.

Your father put an arm around you, his eyes squinting when his hand touched the jacket, gaze shifting to Jungkook before he sighed. Now was not the moment to interrogate about what had happened in their absence or what the jacket signified, so he let it go, focusing on bringing you home safe and sound instead.

Despite the cold of the night, you knew that it was right to give Jungkook his piece of clothing back - but when you turned around, he was already walking away, not sparing you a glance as his tattoo became fainter with every step he took. You stared at his confident steps and his hands in his pockets only for a few seconds before you turned around again, only one thought coursing your mind.

When had he stopped being completely terrible?

The weather still had a bite of cold, but warming sunrays tried their best to neutralize the effect. The forest was someplace you'd frequent often, either to get a break from life or stop yourself from melding into your bed out of indolence. Today being the latter, you'd decided to fight against the lazy urge and use your legs for your own sake.

The fact that you wore Jungkook’s jacket at all times, eyes searching for him, was a complete coincidence, of course. You didn’t want to keep it anymore, didn’t want to stare at it day in, day out. It just reminded you of the blooming of your orchids, the glow still haunting you when you slept, memories crashing back and confusing you. You really questioned destiny’s ways a lot these days.

And as expected, it took you several days to finally find him. It was one of the spots you occasionally escaped to, somewhere between your lands, but it was the first time you ever saw him here. On any other day, you would’ve turned around and gone away, eager to avoid him as much as possible - but today, you needed to talk to him.

“Your jacket,” you greeted, pulling the leather over your shoulders and throwing it in front of him. “Thank you for that.”

His eyes wandered from you to the jacket and back a few times until he finally laughed, shaking his head. “Good day to you, too.”

“We need to talk.”

“Then talk,” he said. His answers came fast, smooth and you prepared yourself for the following conversation as your hands tightened to fists.

Shifting from one leg to another, you said, “This soulmate thing. What do we do about it?”

Jungkook pressed his lips together, looking down as he picked some grass from the ground. “What do you want me to say? All I can think of is… you either stay away completely or marry me.”

Marry me.

He wasn’t being serious. Of course not - that stupid grin on his face didn’t indicate that he was, in any way, meaning what he was saying.

“Honestly, Jungkook.”

“I’m serious,” he told you, standing up to stand in front of you; coming just a little closer, you felt an ache in your lungs, “I can’t tell you what to do. I didn’t choose this.”

The burning inside you wasn’t new - you’d felt it several times when you’d met him as a child. It was something your parents had warned you of, something that every sorcerer and sorceress of your and Jungkook’s village knew about - but you had to endure it due to business between the families.

It was the biggest side effect of the decades old curse that your ancestors had bestowed upon you after a furious battle, ensuring that you’d never meet for long enough without feeling torment that could grow to the point that it destroyed you.

Fire and ice - your magic was contradicting in itself already. The distance between you that the generations had established was only the last and ultimate proof that you were never meant to be together in any shape or form.

You coughed a little, clearing your throat as you nodded. “Well, anyway. I wanted to give you your jacket back. Thank you for that and… for helping me that day.”

“You’re welcome. Have to help those who find themselves in trouble.”

You huffed at his words, folding your arms as you told him, “I could’ve done this myself, too, you know?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Definitely looked like you could,” he said, laying down on the grass as he put one arm behind his head and the other on his chest. “No harm in admitting that I saved you.”

“Please. I could defeat you if you challenged me right now.”

“Oh yeah? Almost seems like you want me to say it.”

“Say it,” you ordered straight away, causing him to open his eyes and shoot up within seconds.

“Defeat me then,” he said, almost whispering, but before you could do anything at all, you felt your hand burn up, having you yell out in pain.

You shook it with a hiss, the urge to slap him strong. “Starting without a warning is foul play! Especially if you boil my fucking blood.”

He shrugged, stepping a few feet away with an arrogant smile on his handsome face.

“A spirit won’t warn you, Y/N,” he clarified, hands coming up to form another spell - but while you watched him do that in slow motion, your arm shot up, summoning a sharp, long ice spear in your hands that you threw at him like a real weapon.

Jungkook escaped your attack easily, smoothly taking a step to the right before he shot forwards, his finger moving in a circle as another one in the same form appeared around you, trapping you between hip high flames. He readied himself for another strike, but you had long demolished his fire and prepared your next attack.

A few feet away, you spotted a shallow pit of mud, still wet from yesterday’s rain - enough for you to form it into a ball that you unexpectedly tossed into his face from the side without him seeing as he was busy thinking about more blood tricks.

“Are you fucking serious?” he yelled, hands coming up to remove the cold material from his face.

You laughed as you declared, “I can do unfair, too, mister.”

Blinded by the dirt and the pain it caused in his eyes, he stumbled backwards, and it gave you the perfect chance to use his own filthy tactics on him. Without hesitating for even a second, you used the liquid quality of blood to attack, focusing on his body with all the energy you could muster. 

And when you finally felt your control over him, you tossed him backwards, his limbs moving weirdly but the feeling being painless nevertheless. In comparison to heating up your blood earlier, your spell was harmless. All it did in this second, was throw him onto his back and pin him to the ground.

“Did you expect to go down this fast, Jeon?” you asked, hovering above him as you shot some warm water onto his face, helping him to clean up the mess.

You thought he might curse at you, but what you certainly didn’t expect was for him to start laughing as he opened his eyes slowly again. “That’s how you thank me for helping you and lending you my jacket?”

“This wasn’t about favours. You challenged me,” you teased with a raised eyebrow, almost offering him your hand when you realised that you shouldn’t.

“Whatever. I let you win,” he insisted, and for the umpteenth time today, you rolled your eyes. You weren’t even entirely annoyed, though. Something about this situation, about him, amused you more than anything had in the last months.

And when you turned back to continue your day alone, he watched you walk away; looked at the way your hips moved as you trotted through the world so confidently; admired your hair that flowed down your back as if it was liquid.

You didn’t know that he didn’t hate you, that he never had, no matter how often you made clear that you detested every fiber in him. In a way, he had always looked up to you - the strong, stubborn heir of your village who’d one day face him on the same level when he took his father’s place.

He knew he was supposed to dislike you, but no matter how much you’d used to fight as children, there was nothing in you he could hate.

“Bring some gloves next time!” he called out from behind you, and you halted, shifting your weight onto one leg as you smiled.

Next time.

“Why?” you asked, turning around to see him grinning at you as if you were actual friends.

“Figured I’ll need to fight for my honour. Can’t have you walk away with a win. So, what do you say? Shall we do that again?”

You licked the corner of your mouth, blinking once before you answered, “We just might.”

Since you’d first defeated Jungkook in your little fight, your meetings had become more frequent than you’d ever imagined they would. You would go out once a week to meet him at the clearing, your encounters now more similar to training than an opportunity to win against the other.

And with time, you noticed that you weren’t always the stronger one of you two - there were several days when he’d force you to your knees, laughing at your pouts and whines. With that, your weekly visits increased to meeting him twice a week, then every two days until it became a habit to see him nearly every day.

Sunrises couldn’t come soon enough, your disputes and arguments couldn’t wait and the afternoon was always something you dreaded, always something you didn’t want to arrive as it meant an ultimate departure from your place.

As you laid on the meadow one day, already used to each other’s presence, the itching of your arms and burning in your lungs, you tried not to fall asleep. You knew he dozed off fast, often exhausted from your fooling around with magic, and to keep you both awake, you muttered, “I don’t want to become a leader.”

“Hm?” he hummed from the side, his breathing already too calm to be completely with you.

“I don’t-” you started, opening your eyes and turning to your side, your head leaning on your hand, “don’t want to do what my father does. It looks stressful. Annoying. Super busy. I want to be able to read books and play with my sister… and not be responsible for a whole community. I’m too lazy for danger.”

He laughed wholeheartedly, opening his eyes as he turned his head to you, his beautiful hair falling around his face. “You’re too lazy for danger? That’s not an excuse, sweetheart.”

Your heart started racing at the nickname he’d given you days ago, suddenly addressing you with it anytime he got the chance to.

“You didn’t hear all the other reasons? Also, don’t call me that.”

“Call you what, sweetheart?” he teased before he bit his lips; seeing you roll your eyes was so attractive to him, and annoying the hell out of you, only to see this little movement, delighted him anew each time.

“I’m serious,” you deadpanned, face as earnest as could get.

He sighed as he closed his eyes again, a tired expression taking over his profile. “If you don’t want that, tell him.”

“Well, I did. He doesn’t care.”

“Hey, I don’t know how much that helps, but even if you get forced to do it, I don’t think you’d make a bad leader at all. And I also doubt that you’re lazy.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, surprised that he actually thought this highly about you. “You think?”

“Yeah, of course,” he answered, nodding, “you come here every day and train as if there’s no tomorrow. That’s not lazy. And you’re hella strong and good at what you do. Don’t worry about things that won’t happen anytime soon, Y/N.”

Due to your hands being gloved, you were able to reach out to him, palm settling on his shoulder before you inquired, “You really believe in me like that?”

“Mhm,” he answered, still not looking at you, but registering your touch as he tried to calm down his heart, “I really do.”

It was so strange - not one person had told you anything like this before; not even your father had as much faith in you as he should have, telling you often enough that you still had to learn until you could take his place.

You wondered how Jungkook knew so firmly that you were good enough. It might have been because of your sessions at this clearing; but then again, he had also seen you struggle against the spirits, and the rest of the years not seen you fail in various other situations.

Questioning what it was about you, you looked at him in awe, admiring how only his words managed to make you feel better, stronger. He seemed to know you so well in such a short time.

But when you saw the delphiniums glow on his bare wrist, sleeves rolled up, you shifted your attention to the blossoms that were almost as beautiful as him - and you stopped wondering.

“I haven’t trained in quite a while, because all you want to do is talk. Does that not get boring? And for all I know, you might lead me somewhere dangerous,” you told him, standing against a tree trunk with folded arms. He looked at you patiently - in fact, he was always tolerant and composed with you, something you truly didn’t understand with how bratty you behaved at times.

"And talking is bad because...?" he asked, ignoring your last remark and raising one of his eyebrows as he waited for you to finally move.

You shrugged as you said, "It's not, but I'm not used to so much of it."

"That's total nonsense. We talk all the time. You never shut up, sweetheart."

You clicked your tongue, rolling your eyes as your arms loosened, dangling at your sides. "I hate you."

“Come on. You don’t hate me. You’re just thinking that, because you’ve made it a character trait,” he teased, his mouth forming into a smug grin before he came closer and grabbed your covered hand.

You pouted, eyes squinting, but as you let him drag you closer to the big stone wall in front of you, eyes fixed on his long locks, you knew deep in your bones that he was right - whatever it was in you, had stopped giving in to your hostility, warm feelings spreading in your chest again. It might not have been what soulmates usually felt after losing themselves in each other, but it was in no way or shape distaste anymore.

“I found this a few years ago. My brother and I used to come here on bad days and nights,” Jungkook explained, carefully stepping over a wet patch of floor and offering his palm to you again. You smiled, placing your hand on his before he went a step further and intertwined both your fingers. “Be careful here, don’t slip.”

The air got chillier with each step, fewer and fewer trees in sight as the puddles reflected the night sky. Despite knowing the forest and your village like the back of your hand, you couldn’t remember ever stumbling over this part of land. It was dark here and your eyes darted around to check your surroundings for evil spirits. Fortunately, your radar stayed unalarmed, allowing you to focus on the man in front of you instead.

“Where are we, Jungkook?” you half whispered.

“Not telling,” he answered briefly, looking back at you, “you’ll see very soon.”

And he kept his promise indeed: stepping into the dark, wet cave, you followed his steps, your hand on the cold stone guiding you safely. From afar you could hear water splashing, a hollow sound that echoed through the cave, putting your mind at ease before you finally saw light beaming to the ground. You stared at Jungkook’s back confusedly, convincing yourself that you could impossibly be outside again.

But when you walked into the ray of moonlight, you saw where the illumination was coming from. Apparently, you had reached the mouth of the cave, and you were fairly high, able to overlook the valley that was part of your land. Your breath hitched as you came to a halt, your chest heating up so intensely that you felt tears sting in your eyes.

This had to be the most astonishing view you’d ever seen in your entire life - the lake you knew so well, had swum in several times, laid in front of you, stretching for miles as the clear water flowed peacefully. In it, you could see the glow of the moon and the glitter of the stars, the reflection causing your heart to swell. Surrounded by the forest, the sight looked picturesque and you blinked a few times to convince yourself that what you were seeing was actually real.

Somewhere in the near distance, you spotted a doe, and as you stared at it, it almost looked like it had noticed you, shying away into the woods before you could even shoot it a smile. From where you were standing, you saw fireflies floating in the air, mesmerising and hypnotising, and had Jungkook not pulled you back, you might just have reached out to them, tripping over the edge and falling into the depths that lay underneath you.

“Careful there,” he said, taking a seat on the cold stone as his legs dangled over the border and pulling you down with him before you gave him a breathtaking smile.

“This is incredibly beautiful, Jungkook,” you told him, your eyes still glistening before you took a deep breath. Despite living in a place that you had gotten used to, nature had never ceased to amaze you, always lighting a spark inside you that evolved into euphoria. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking me here. I’m not sure why you did, but I really appreciate it,” you answered, squeezing his hand before you let go, arms folding as you felt a light sting inside you again. Being near him hurt physically, and although your skin wasn’t touching, you could clearly feel your energy seep out of you the longer you wandered around with him.

He felt it, too, but the fear in him didn’t permit him to say it out loud, too scared that you’d run away if he admitted his pain to you. Instead, he nodded, laughing quietly as he declared, “I remember you being totally baffled every time you’d go swimming in the summer. You’d play with the otters and sometimes just stare into the distance and admire the beauty of the forest.”

You were speechless when you looked at him, eyes widening at his words as you realised that he knew so much about you that you’d already forgotten. He was right, though - you too remembered seeing the little boy on the other side of the bay, playing in the cold water with his friends and his brother. There were times when you’d come too close and back away in panic, yelling at each other for not being careful enough.

And as your eyes focused on one spot of the flowing lake, you laughed at the memory, biting your lip when you noticed how much had changed since then. You would’ve never in your life imagined that you’d ever sit right beside him, gazing into the night sky with the crescent moon smiling at you.

You stared at it for so long that you thought the light would burn itself into your eyelids; but despite this, you felt calm and at peace like you hadn’t in a very long time. With discussions about you being the ultimate heir, there hadn’t been many moments to yourself. You couldn’t even remember when you’d genuinely and wholeheartedly laughed about something that’d inspired and stunned you - not until Jungkook had re-entered your life.

“This is so amazing,” you whispered, lost in the glimmering sky.

You’d once learned that stars were scattered. Apparently, they weren’t as close as you’d thought half your life; in reality, they were eternities away from each other, yet seeming so close for the human eye. It reminded you of Jungkook and yourself: just like the heavenly bodies, you both appeared to be in ultimate proximity, as if you could easily reach out and touch each other, while you couldn’t be farther away, more scattered than anyone could see.

You didn’t detect Jungkook eyeing you with indecipherable affection, admiring the way your curls framed your face so beautifully. He adored the twinkle in your eyes, how your soft lips turned upwards to a smile, the faint light of the moon shining onto your profile - and he was awestruck. From where he sat, you looked like the fairy his mother had described when reading bedtime stories to him years ago: ethereal, breathtaking, and absolutely enchanting.

And when he breathed a, “You’re right”, he honestly couldn’t say if he was still talking about the sight or the woman right next to him.

It wasn’t until then that you shifted your attention to him, finally noticing his expression, his naturally fond eyes darkened, and the molten onyxes looking at you as if he was seeing you for the first time.

“What is it?” you inquired, slightly flustered by his intense gaze.

Jungkook sighed, breathing out the excitement that resided in his chest. There was this one thought that had been floating in his mind for days, a string of words endlessly repeating itself over and over again. And now, sick of keeping it to himself, he gathered his strength and courage as he admitted, “I want to kiss you.”

And your heart dropped.

It dropped so hard that you swore you could physically feel it, and the knot in your throat tightened as you looked at him in a haze. You didn’t know why your head was suddenly fogged and why the sight of him had you longing for his lips, for his embrace.

Feeling the itching burn in your arm, you looked down, the blue flowers yet again moving, blooming until they reached the back of your hands, spreading rapidly. Every movement coincided with a sting that slowed down their delicate expansion in your eyes.

You were gone.

Whatever had happened in the last weeks, he had ultimately, inexplicably, surprisingly captured you. And him saying out loud what his heart desired, left no doubt in you as you painfully admitted to yourself that you, in fact, were on the same page as him.

“You- you want what?” you finally stuttered, gulping hard when you saw him move closer. The torment in your lungs intensified. Yet, before he could do or say anything, you continued, “We can’t. Shouldn’t.”

“I won’t, Y/N,” he promised, fully aware of the aftermath.

And as it turned out, he did not kiss you. Instead, he raised his clothed hand and brought it to your cheek, his fingers touching the nape of your neck while his thumb brushed your cheekbones softly.

He didn’t do much. He only smiled at you fondly, the mole under his lips distracting you for a second until you leaned into his palm, eyes closing.

You were so astounding, so endearing. It took everything in him to not lean forward and press his lips against yours. And the fact that he couldn’t even properly touch you, along with the contradicting knowledge that you were meant to be together, tore at his heart.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he suddenly said and you opened your eyes to see that his passionate expression had turned melancholic.

You furrowed your eyebrows before you asked him gently, “For what?”

“I’m sorry that it’s me.”

You came home late.

For some reason, you’d expected your family to be asleep, and you were accordingly surprised when you found all of them still awake, sitting at the dining table as they glared at you. While your mother seemed rather calm, the anger in your father’s eyes was obvious, his jaw clenched as he looked at you.

“Where were you?” he demanded to know, having you feel insecure immediately.

“I- uh, I went out for a walk.” You took off your jacket, throwing it onto a nearby chair before you headed to the room you shared with your sister; but his voice made you stop mid-walk as you turned to face him.

“I know you were running around with that Jeon boy. Apparently not realising how dangerous that is,” he lectured in a firm and strict tone, and your gaze wandered from him to your mother as you pleaded for help silently, hoping she’d say anything at all.

But when she didn’t, you sighed, rubbing your tired eyes gently. “Yeah, so what? It’s not like we touched each other. You just hate the people of his village, because you made it part of your personality.”

Jungkook’s words still echoed in your head, and you found this the perfect time to quote them rephrased to your father. But that just infuriated him more. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that! You, as the future leader, should be fully aware of what consequences your actions will cause. You should know that getting too close to him could kill you. What don’t you understand?!”

Fury boiling hot in you, your hands formed fists, and you yelled out in full confidence, “What I don’t understand is that you could easily marry someone from the other village, but can’t even allow me to look at my own fucking soulmate without raising hell!”

And with that, you stormed out of the room, enjoying the silence you had left behind. No matter how harsh you’d been, no matter how much you’d regret it later on, you were satisfied at the moment, having shut him up effectively.

It wasn’t until you laid under your blanket, staring out the window that you realised that his words held a certain truth. Being with Jungkook was dangerous. Having him near you hurt. You simply couldn’t stay with him without causing a chain of reactions that your magic had cursed you with.

But as you slowly drifted away, you couldn’t help but think of the clear night sky, the stars, the moon, and everything underneath them. And with that, a picture of Jungkook flashed into your mind, his fingertips caressing your cheek and his gentle and affectionate smile sending shivers down your spine as you admitted to yourself that yes - you wanted him.

You were drained this evening.

After your mother had bragged about Eva’s life again, urging you to be more productive, you’d already felt exhausted. And when your father had decided to one-up her and showed you off at a big family dinner, because, “Look, she’s going to be the next big sorceress of our village!”, you could ultimately declare that all of your energy had vanished into thin air, and you felt emotionally and physically tired.

But even through your exhaustion, you were happy to finally be able to see Jungkook again, understanding and ultimately confessing to yourself that it was always him who’d listen to you; who’d know what to say in the worst moments.

And today, Jungkook was waiting at your clearing near the border of your village again, sitting in a field of begonia flowers as he rubbed the blossoms of one between his fingertips, just as he had the night you’d been trapped by the spirit. Just as he had done when you were little.

Wrapped in his usual jacket, he added the gloves to his layers of clothes when he saw you walk towards him, breaking out in a grin. In some way, looking at the both of you was almost cringeworthy, given the fact that you were wearing way too much for today’s warm weather. Anyone would’ve broken out in a sweat at the sight of you, but unfortunately, there was a risk between you two that you were too scared to take.

“Hi, beautiful,” he greeted and you raised an eyebrow at the new nickname.

“Stand up, come on,” you ordered, stretching out your hand that he took gladly. Not that he needed your help - had he not stood up by using his own strength, he would’ve very likely pulled you down to him. “I’ve something planned.”

He laughed sweetly, his head tilting before he asked, “Oh, have you, now?”

“Yes, sir. Pond,” was all you said as you pulled him with you, heading into the direction of a small waterfall not very far away from here. The idea you had was probably idiotic, but you figured that nothing would happen as long as you stayed careful.

“Pond,” Jungkook repeated, shaking his head when he understood what you were referring to. “You mean-? What do you want to do there?”

You rolled your eyes at him, shushing him with a finger against your lips. “Let me surprise you for once, can you?” you scolded, smiling at him. “Oh, by the way,” you licked your lips before you continued, trying to stop your restlessness from leaking out, “this might be random, but I talked to my cousin Seokjin. His family is skilled in lifting curses and healing, so I asked him if he would be able to remove that… painful thing between us.”

You said this casually, as if it wasn’t the biggest news he’d received this whole week. He tried to speak, stuttering and stumbling over his own words until he finally met your curious gaze, noticing how you were waiting for an answer. “...And?”

“He said he might be able to. But it would be extremely difficult. I asked him a few days ago, so he might have started looking for a way already to fulfill his favourite person’s request,” you told him, laughing at your confidence, “anyway, I thought you should know. And don’t worry, he’s super skilled.”

“I- thank you?” A few moments, he stayed silent, but then he lifted his head again before he asked, “So, there’s a chance for us to actually touch without feeling like our lungs are filled with poison?”

“Might be. I hope so.”

And with that, you turned around, ending the topic while he stared at you in a mixture of sadness and excitement. He didn’t know how he could feel both, but the new information made him long for you even more while simultaneously making him anxious. Trying to get rid of his thoughts, he sighed deeply, focusing on the path you’d taken instead.

Pressing his lips together, he had a faint idea of what you were intending to do right now. And when you finally reached the little spot, the pretty, clean spring, you let his hand go, immediately starting to undress before his eyes.

Throwing your jacket, jeans, and shirt onto the ground, you enjoyed his eyes on you, his lips unable to stutter even a single word as he watched you intently, breathing becoming laboured.

“Y/N-”

“I know what you’re thinking,” you interrupted, now only in your shorts and undershirt, “but we can be careful. Come on, Jungkook.”

You dipped your feet into the water, shivering as you added, “So cold! Anyway. Listen. It’s so warm today - we don’t get that a lot, you know? This might be the only day pleasant enough for us to do this for a while.”

Jungkook shook his head again, looking at your figure as if you were crazy. In some way, you were - crazy to think that he would not lose his mind at the sight of your curves, your smooth skin, and bare limbs. In reality, there was nothing more that he wanted than to grab you by your waist, wrap you in his embrace, stare into the depths of your eyes before kissing you tenderly without ever backing away. 

But he couldn’t.

What he could do, however, was make you happy, ensure that your smile stayed right where it was. Soon, he slipped out of his pants, too, throwing his own clothes next to yours as he joined you. And when you turned around to face him, wet hands running over your hair, your heartbeat increased tenfold, eyeing the man who was now waddling towards you, his toned and muscular, bare torso eliminating any coherent thought you could’ve had.

“Like what you see?” he asked with a smug grin, and you shook your head to regain power over yourself before you sank into the water until your chin touched the surface, hair floating behind you.

“Shut up,” you demanded with a laugh, one so beautiful that he couldn’t do anything else but join.

And when you rose, splashing water onto him, his hand came up to cover his face as he turned around with a hiss.

God. His arms, his shoulder blades, the way his waist was built so slim and heavenly; he truly took your breath away, more than being underwater ever could have.

“I wouldn’t do that, Y/N,” he teased with a lilt, his eyes meeting yours as sparkles of the sun glistened on his wet chest.

“Or what?”

“Do it again and you’ll find out.”

Intriguing.

“What? It’s not like you can push my head underwater!” you scoffed, clearly meaning it as a joke, and yet, immediately detecting Jungkook’s little flinch. His expression softened quickly enough, and he laughed, his biceps flexing before he came closer; about an arm’s length away from your skin touching his.

And while he distracted you with an intense stare, eyes darting from yours to your lips, you suddenly felt the water around you heat up, almost boiling as you jumped backwards, swimming into a direction where you’d stop feeling like you were being cooked alive.

You screeched in playful fear, a swish of your hand regulating the temperature of the liquid and destroying the effect of the spell that Jungkook had clearly cast without you noticing.

“Using magic isn’t fair!” you screamed at him, sending a ball of water with a flick of your fingers in his face, wetting his features and hair until he was finally fully drenched, much to your pleasure.

“Says you!” he laughed back, his hand raising as he used a force to softly push you backwards until you stood directly under the waterfall, the sudden attack of the liquid burning in your eyes. “I told you not to provoke me!”

Right. He had warned you indeed. But you weren’t going to suffer alone.

Using your version of his spell, you pulled him towards you, the last of your energy seeping out of you; but his grimace as he flew into your direction making you laugh out loud was absolutely worth it. Distracted by the sound of your voice, he felt his focus falter, and he knew it was too late to defend himself anymore. Within two seconds, he was showering under the cascade, just like you.

And suddenly, you felt the familiar burn in your lungs again, having you choke for only one second without him noticing. You backed away behind the waterfall, your back hitting the cold stone as he rubbed his eyes.

Opening them, he realised how far away you had gotten, coming closer as worry crept upon his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I am,” you lied, apparently more affected by the proximity between you than he was. You wondered why. Maybe it was due to the fact that his ancestors had been the original leaders. Or maybe, because he was clearly more immune to danger and evil than you were. And no matter how much you tried to hide it, he noticed and knew. He saw it in the way you pressed your fist against your chest, your face contorted only slightly but just enough to indicate pain.

His face was half lit by the sunlight, half hidden in the shadows. You could still see how beautiful he was, and focusing on only that, you felt the increasing torture fade away just a little as you watched him float even closer, ignoring everything your body was telling you except the tingling in your fingertips, the craving you felt to touch him.

“Does it hurt?” he asked quietly, and you almost didn’t hear him through the sound of the water splashing.

You nodded, leaning against the stone when you noticed that he was close - way too close. And you wanted to tell him to back away, your brain begging you to speak up - but you couldn’t. Whenever he was here, something in you just… couldn’t.

And when he was near enough, he pressed his palms against the walls, trapping you between his arms as he looked at you in pain, sadness, affection, and hunger, everything all at once.

“Me too,” he finally whispered, leaning in so much that you felt your heart burst in your chest.

And being the utter and lovesick fool you were, you gave in to your deepest desires, not caring what would happen to you as you arched your back from the wall, fingers burying in his curls when your lips interlocked with his impulsively. You felt sparks immediately - but not the good type that you experienced inside you whenever you spent time with him.

No, it was the painful kind, the one that had you gasping for air right after you’d begun - and yet, you didn’t find the strength within you to let go.

Jungkook felt like an idiot, too. You both knew what that meant; but still, he was unable to back away, the softness of your lips locking him into such a strange headspace that all his abilities to think straight had suddenly vanished, logic only seeming like a distant construct that didn’t hold any meaning to him anymore.

“Y/N,” he whispered against your lips, eyes tender as his hands came down to grab your hips and push you back again. His mouth pressed a chaste kiss against yours before it wandered down your jaw and to your neck, his tongue delicately licking your warm skin as you crumbled under his touch. That’s how his skin really felt - that’s what laid underneath all your layers. Overwhelmed with feelings, words failed him, and all he could chant was your name over and over again. “Y/N…”

Soon, he captured your lips again, kissing you so fervently that it felt like he was cherishing a moment he’d never experience again. And you were faltering, utterly caged inside your mind that was full of his face, his name, his lips, him, him, him.

You were about to tell him - god, you needed to tell him what he did to you. But before your mouth allowed you to speak, your lungs started burning like a searing hot fire, having you push him away suddenly as you gasped for air hard.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Oh god, what’s-” you heard him say as you felt your consciousness slip, the ache in your chest so heavy, spreading not only into your shoulders and stomach but to your head, too.

Your skull felt like it was splitting; paired with the early day happenings, your power was gone.

Largely unaffected and still filled with energy, Jungkook tried to reach out to you, only to realise that no, he couldn’t. This was the whole reason this was happening at all, because he fucking should’ve held back, refused, done anything else that didn’t result in him potentially losing you.

His throat tightened, tears threatening to spill when he saw you struggle and his hand intuitively stretched, the gathered energy targeting his gloves and jacket that came flying to him. His clothes flew through the waterfall, landing on the water with a splash and he wasted no time putting them on as you started sinking to your knees.

And just as you were about to fall sideways into the spring, close to going under, he pulled you up by your waist, lifting you to carry you out. He knew that being this close to you wasn’t the most helpful thing he could do right now, but there was no way he would leave you there, watching you hit the ground until someone came along to notice that you were drowning.

His warm touch burned on your freezing skin, your body getting colder as time passed although your insides felt like they were turning to ash. You felt him lean down to grab your clothes, draping the jacket over you and catching a glimpse of your contorted face before he began to run.

In his arms, clenching his jacket with both hands, he saw you whimper, your face now dry again except for the tears that flowed with no end in sight. Jungkook’s heart shattered at the view, a strong urge to press you closer to him - but instead, he loosened his grip around you, trying to leave as much distance between you as he could before he focused on warming your frigid skin through his gloves as much as possible.

“Y/N, please,” he begged, unsure how this would help improve the situation. His steps became faster with each second as he ran through the forest, focused on keeping you with him and growing frustrated when he saw you slipping away more and more.

And when he saw drops land on his jacket sleeve, he noticed that at some point, he had started crying, too. You tried to open your eyes at his words; but looking at him was hard, focusing on anything else even harder - the blurred world rushed by so fast that your eyelids fluttered shut again, trying to hold onto what he was saying to calm yourself.

“Jungkook,” you breathed, barely a cracked whisper - but he heard you.

“Y/N! Baby, please, stay with me. It’s okay, I’m here,” he sobbed, hearing your voice breaking him further. He watched both your flowers grow, extending into your neck gradually and he almost scoffed at the irony of the moment. Signifying that you both belonged to each other so intrinsically seemed like mockery in a moment that clearly demanded you to stay apart. “Almost there, please.”

He pleaded again and again; what for, you didn’t know. Probably telling you to stay alive. And by god, you were trying - you honestly were. You thought him talking to you could keep you awake, present, aware of his touch on you; but you could only ignore the pain for so long.

“Sorry... I…” you started, but when the ache overwhelmed your whole body, your words got stuck in your throat, the tears flowing down your temple as you eventually, slowly, started to drift off.

“No, no, no, please, we’re almost there!” was the last thing you heard, angry words becoming faint as darkness overtook you at last.

You had been unconscious quite an impressive number of times in your life. Each time had been the same, an identical nothing swallowing you whole for minutes or hours. Sometimes, someone would shake you awake; on other days, you’d wake up in Seokjin’s house, taken care of by your cousin as he mended your injuries. Fainting was always the same.

Dreaming, however, was new.

You somehow knew you’d taken it too far, were well aware of the fact that you’d been carried away, on the verge of death and in excruciating pain. You knew you weren’t in the water anymore, pressed against him, lips on his as you risked both your lives in the process.

So, lying here, you moved your body, your thoughts forcing the dream to fade, the picture of Jungkook and his firm body, the warm gaze, and deep voice becoming faint and distant. If you stayed in this place any longer, a new affliction would find its way to you, screaming at you what would happen if you just let things advance between you two further.

“Jungkook,” you whispered, a call so quiet that he wouldn’t have heard, even if he’d been here.

Instead, your wiggling and recurring whimper alarmed someone else, his head shooting into your direction as he watched you try to sit up. With two steps, he was at your side, putting a hand on your forehead before he declared, “Okay. Temperature normal. Let me help you.”

You opened your eyes, a blurred image of Seokjin greeting you as he put his palm on your back to aid you while his other thumb wiped your damp cheeks.

“How do you feel?” he wanted to know, handing you a glass of water from his night table.

You nodded gratefully, gulping it down in one go before you answered, “My head feels… heavy. But I’m alive.”

“That you are, my tough darling.” He smiled at you, ruffling your hair the way he’d always used to. 

You looked around, searching for the most important piece - but it was clearly missing. You wondered when he’d left, what he’d said, and how your parents had reacted; if they had reacted at all. Maybe he hadn’t told them, bringing you straight to Seokjin.

“How long was I gone for?” you asked, chest heaving heavily as you added, “Was he here?”

He hesitated for a split moment before he started to chew on his lip nervously, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, of course, he brought you here. But you weren’t getting better, so I told him to leave.”

“And how long was I unconscious?” you questioned again, impatience creeping up your throat as your heartbeat accelerated.

“Not too long. You woke up half an hour after he left. And he was here… for an hour, I guess? You did recover very fast.”

“With your help, I bet,” you muttered, taking his hand in yours.

He rubbed his calloused thumb against your smooth skin, eyeing your obviously heartbroken expression carefully. You could see that he was struggling to say something, unsure how to formulate what was troubling him inside. “What is it?”

His head shooting up, he licked his lips as he said, “I, uh - I tried something.”

“You did?” you asked with furrowed eyebrows, still contemplating why he was being so fearful of telling you whatever he held closed inside him.

“I tried to… lift the curse. The one that’s keeping you apart. I-I tried to use the same spells and all that Mom did back when your parents got married, but I’m not sure whether it worked or not. I looked for it for days, though,” he explained, your eyes widening with each word he uttered.

Your eyes filled with tears yet again as hope sparked in you. Lately, you didn’t even know anymore if you were sad or happy. But now, you were stuck between loving the possibility of being able to touch Jungkook, and somewhere else; somewhere where you were so scared that everything would end in sorrow again. What if nothing had changed?

“Where is he? Is he okay?” you continued your questions, a single tear escaping your eye as you waited for his answer. Given the shape you’d been and still were in, you wouldn’t have taken it as a surprise if Jungkook was hurting, too.

Yet, you felt your body relax when your cousin nodded. “He’s okay physically, but… he couldn’t stop crying. Almost didn’t leave until he realised that it might protect you to do so.”

You remembered his cries when he’d brought you here, the memory of his pleas of staying with him shattering everything inside you anew. All you wanted was to have him here, being able to touch him, tell him what you felt and that you didn’t know how you’d go another day without him by your side.

But he wasn’t here.

As if reading your thoughts, Seokjin squeezed your hand, reassuring, “He’ll be fine, Y/N. He’ll be back - from what I’ve perceived, he really seems to love you.”

Love.

No, not that word. Loving Jungkook and being loved by Jungkook meant pain - at least if Seokjin’s spell hadn’t worked. You were scared, so terrified of feeling this for him, of knowing that he might feel it, too. But before you could say anything more, the man in front of you stood up abruptly, expression suddenly awake as if he had remembered something.

“Oh, before I forget,” he said, walking to his desk to grab a neatly folded piece of paper, “he wrote that for you. I didn’t read it, of course, but he wanted you to have it.”

Eagerly, you took the letter from him, opening it in such haste that you almost ripped the paper. You smoothened the crinkles you had caused before reading the first words in his messy handwriting.

My sweetheart,

I’m sorry for not being with you when you wake up. And there’s so much I want to say to you, but I’m very bad with words when it matters. I will still try - there are few things that I won’t be able to tell you in person, simply because I… can’t.

And the first thing I need you to know is that I’m sorry. So, so sorry, for not being by your side as I should be, as it’s destined. For not protecting you better. For not backing away, thinking about the consequences.

But today was the most obvious proof that I shouldn’t be near you in the first place. Whatever the universe had planned for us seems nonsensical, doesn’t it? What was our magic thinking when it put us together like this? Damning us to this distance, unable to reach out to anything we could have? I wish someone or something would just deliver the answers to me easily, like the way I light my fireplace - just like that.

Seokjin told me you’d recover. We talked and we both thought that it might be best to keep myself away from you as long as our touch is lethal to each other. The way you crumbled in my arms today, Y/N, your cries, your pain - I can’t take that; I can’t cause it again.

It’s so unfair, though. You’re right here and I can’t do anything about it. You’re blinding me - I see you and my mind blanks entirely. You don’t notice the effect you have on me, and you certainly don’t know how much it hurts to think about not touching you, not staying with you.

I really tried not to feel all these things, but not admitting it all is worse than just saying out loud that I’ve fallen in love with you. I can’t help but want you. And I’m so sorry about that. So fucking sorry... but we have to stop being fools for each other.

Someday, all of this might work.

Until then - take care, my darling. I’ll be back for you.

Jungkook

By the time you stopped reading, your face was drenched in tears, your sobs echoing off the walls as Seokjin rubbed your back, trying to calm you down somehow. But you’d pressed the paper against your face, body trembling as you cried, head shaking desperately.

“It’s okay, Y/N. You’ll be-”

“No,” you interrupted, breaths unsteady as you tried to calm yourself. You wiped away the tears again, sure that your eyes were probably swollen by now. “Half an hour, you said? He can’t be far. Maybe at home?”

You nearly expected him to stop you - to grab your arm and hold you back, lecture you about some magical stuff that you’d heard several dozen times before. Instead, he stayed calm, eyes only following you as you slipped in your boots and jacket, combing your hair with your fingers. Grabbing the letter, you headed to the door, only halting when your hand had already enclosed the knob.

You sniffed as you turned around, your gaze meeting his before you told him with a smile, “Thank you. For everything. For trying. You’ll soon know if it worked.”

His lips turned upwards, eyes closing for a second as he nodded in recognition, turning away to signal that you could go, chase what belonged to and with you.

Stepping out, you let out a surprised gasp when a cold shower greeted you, pouring down on you relentlessly. It was a stark contrast to the beautiful weather this evening when you’d swam in the lake; with the sunshine gone, the only thing left were clouds and a grey sky.

According to what Seokjin had told you, it wasn’t that late yet, but the world was already growing dark. A look up made you predict that a storm was coming, one of the typical early spring happenings that you were used to. You usually loved it, cuddling up at your home with a book, sipping on tea, or simply staring out the window as the world got drenched in rain.

But today, it only restricted your view, not allowing your vision to look past a few feet. Yet, without any care, your feet started moving, picking up a fast pace straight away as you headed into a direction that you knew would lead to his village. And as you ran and ran, passing high trees and sweet, little animals, your mind scrambled for things you would tell him.

“Don’t leave,” was the only thought that repeated itself over and over again in your head, no other words finding their way to your tongue and consciousness.

After some while you were so certain that you’d left most of your village and land behind, but your lungs didn’t burn, no sound reached your ears except the soft melody of the rain. You were already soaked by now, your hair falling flat on your back and your clothes sticking wet to your skin.

With nothing in sight, you strongly hoped you’d find him at home if not on your way to him, if not at your clearing. Thinking about the possibility of getting closer and closer to him had your heart aching for him, and soon, you were crying again. You groaned, so sick of these tears flowing, never stopping, so tired of not being strong enough to pull yourself together.

Blurring your vision more than the rain had done, it seemed as if you’d missed a fallen branch on the ground when you suddenly tripped over something and lost your balance - within seconds, you found yourself crouching, knees hitting the wet soil and palms pressing against flowers you’d crushed.

You panted, your eyes fixed on your hands as you faltered, chest heavy from crying and running for so long. The same pictures that had haunted you in your dream came flooding back again: Jungkook’s lips on yours, your fingers buried in his hair.

You missed him, although you’d seen him just hours ago. But time felt endless at this moment as you thought of the feeling of his fingers on your face, the first and last time of him doing so replaying in your mind endlessly.

Indulged in the memories, eyes now closed, you didn’t notice the way your orchids had bloomed along your skin, reaching your fingers - something that had never happened before. The blue glowing light of the blossoms forced your eyelids to flutter open, and you took a deep breath before you lifted your head, looking around you until you noticed a figure slowly approaching you.

“Y/N,” he called out, standing at a safe distance from you and leaning against a tree.

You righted yourself, standing up slowly as you felt the mud trickle down your pants. He had his long, curly hair swept back, squinting slightly as the rain fell on his face; you reckoned that his gift of sight had allowed him to find you even through the trees and branches. His sleeves were rolled up and you could see his delphiniums glowing just like your flowers did, reaching his fingers just like yours.

And when you felt your insides ache again, you didn’t know if it was the heartbreak you felt at the sight of him or the magic that separated you so aggressively without relief. All you knew was that this time, you wouldn’t make the same mistake you had under the waterfall.

“Jungkook,” you whispered, and you thought he hadn’t heard - but his expression changed, eyebrows coming together in a melancholic motion as he looked at your beautiful appearance. You were right there, but still infinitely far away from him.

“You shouldn’t be here, Y/N.”

You tilted your head, stepping a little closer. “How could I not after everything you wrote in your letter?”

Mentioning his note, you felt the weight of the paper heavily in your pocket, resisting the urge to take it out and read it again, only to have it drenched and destroyed in the rain. His eyes looked at you softly, sighing once as he waited for you to go on. For the time being, he had nothing to say.

“You can’t leave me now,” you remarked, sniffing as you felt your head hurt from sobbing and dehydration. “Look at this,” you ordered, rolling up your sleeves, too, “you know exactly what that means. You can’t just… go.”

The yearning in his heart battled against the chains of logic, his fingers twitching, longing for your skin; but he knew he had to hold back. Instead, he tried to up his walls again, attempting to emanate nonchalance before he said, “I have to. And you should go home before you get sick.”

His tone was monotone, calm and cold, despite ice being your strength; not his. You felt a sting that had you biting your lower lip. “Jungkook, please.”

You moved even closer, only a few feet apart from him as you held your balance by placing your hand on a tree. If he kept talking like that, you’d break down - you didn’t want to in front of him, not here, not now.

A palm pressed against your churning stomach, you suppressed a sob, pleading with a piercing gaze, “Please, my love.”

Hearing this from you brought a new wave of frustration to Jungkook’s mind and it clouded his logical thought processes completely. Whatever he’d felt until now was gone or overshadowed - it was anger that crept through his body at that moment, reaching his torso and his limbs as they started shaking.

But keeping himself at bay, he gathered all his courage, his jaw clenching as he ordered, “Go home.”

And now, you exploded entirely, the dam of patience in you breaking as you slammed your fist against the tree trunk. Your motion caught Jungkook off guard, and flinching immediately, he moved forwards, only to back away abruptly again.

In your anger, you both didn’t notice that the usual pain was gone, had never appeared since he’d called your name a few minutes ago. Your lungs letting you both breathe perfectly was something that just became clearer to Jungkook now that he was so close to you, but he dared not speak it out loud.

If he turned out to be wrong, if the ache recurred, his hope would shatter into million pieces, and this feeling was something he’d given up on when he’d seen your body shrink in pain, right in front of him, right in his arms.

“Stop,” he demanded, seeing you let out your fury on the nature around you, breaking and yelling just an arm’s length away from him.

“How can you act as if you don’t care?” Your fist punched the wood again, bruising by now.

“Stop that.”

“I thought you’re in love with me!”

“Y/N, stop!”

Another punch, another striking flash of pain that you ignored. “You didn’t even give me a chance to confess back to you! You just left. Just…” And one last action from you caused your knuckles to reveal the red flesh under your skin. This was the last straw, making Jungkook finally dart forward and grab your wrists tightly, his enraged glare meeting yours.

“Fucking stop!” he whined, eyes moving from you to your hand, inspecting it as he covered it with his palm - and while the touch didn’t heal you, you felt instant relief to your injuries.

But before you could give in to the feeling of his wet hand on yours, you gasped, tearing away from him as you stepped back, realising that yet again, your skin had touched directly for too long, that you’d given in too easily. For some reason, though, he only smiled after looking at you with mild shock, his eyes glistening behind the soaked strands of hair.

It took you a second and a clearing of your mind to realise why he was staring at you like this, full of hope, expectation, and longing. The pain was gone indeed, not one trace of the burning sensation in your lungs or head that you’d always felt until now when you were near him.

Nothing.

Nothing but love. Nothing but affection.

And very soon, your muscles relaxed, your fists opening, the rain seeping through your clothes and down your fingertips as they twitched, your eyes watching Jungkook intently before-

Your body moved on its own accord, both of you dashing forward and into each other as his lips crashed onto yours, a hand immediately settling on the back of your head. Your fingers traced the light of his flower, along his skin until they reached his jacket and decided to rest on his shoulders.

His mouth moved vigorously against yours, his taste intoxicating you immediately. Lips pressed against his like this, without the pain, without the sting and burning, you tilted your head to deepen the kiss; there was a softness in your needy movements that had your heart swelling and your body pressing into his with even more urgency.

Whatever Seokjin had done, it had somehow worked, lifted every and any curse between you - and being able to finally be near Jungkook like this, skin on skin, no restrictions at all, felt like wonderful heaven on this godforsaken earth.

Not wasting any time, his tongue licked a stripe against your lower lip, using the slight gasp to make its way to meet yours, the gentle and wet touch sending a shiver through you - something that not even the coldness of the rain had managed.

It wasn’t until your lips had left his to catch your breaths that he spoke again, his forehead leaning against yours. “God, I need you.”

He did need you - and you’d felt it.

There was so much that he wasn’t saying, so much that he wanted you to know: he needed you to be happy, needed you to stay sane, needed your touch, words, presence. And despite being the fire to your ice, it was you who shone brightly in his grip, desperately showing him just how much he needed you - he couldn’t glow without you, just like a ray of sunshine can’t light up a room if there is no darkness to accompany it. 

You by his side forevermore, that’s what he needed, starting from now until the end of time.

His mattress was softer than yours, your body sinking into it when he pushed you onto his bed.

By now, the rain had intensified, the storm already here as you heard thunder growl outside. Every time a lightning bolt struck, his face lit up, his beautiful eyes looking at you in a manner that you'd never seen on him before. He gulped hard when he saw you lie there, only taking you in for a second before he leaned down, hovering over you as he tried not to crush you under him.

His lips brushed yours gently, gaze locked on yours and looking at you in such admiration that it melted everything inside you. His gentle touch and fingers buried in your still wet hair were enough to leave you breathless - he hadn't even done much, and yet, he was driving you crazy.

"Jungko-" you started, but he silenced you with a fervorous kiss, your lips moving slowly as you closed your eyes and indulged in the softness and sweetness of his mouth. His fist around your hair tightened, and you couldn’t understand how he was still holding back so much, kissing you so carefully.

But soon, his tongue slipped between your parted lips, seeking yours to savor the taste of you that he'd dreamt of so often now. Yet, all of this was so much more than anything his mind had hypothetically thrown at him.

And after a while of drowning in the breathlessness, the painless touches of him became needier, his hands wandering down your face and cupping your jaw before he backed away from your lips. Instead, he trailed the line of your jaw and the skin of your neck, licking and sucking your flesh until you were sure he was leaving small, purple marks on your sensitive collar bones.

You moaned at the feeling of his mouth making its way along your body, everything about his touches gentle yet greedy; soft yet longing; affectionate yet impatient. Your hands moved over his clothed back, your flowers glowing right in front of your face.

"Jungkook," you whispered, his head coming up to look at you, his eyes so hazy and gone that you wondered how long he was going to hesitate to go a step further, "I- I want you."

He nodded, his fingers brushing your hair away from your cheeks as he looked at you with bittersweetness again - as if he'd waited for this moment for an eternity. Sighing, he answered, "I know, my love. I want you, too."

And with that, he pressed himself closer to you, his lips returning to your clavicles until they reached the swell of your breasts, his hands settling on your hips and fingers digging into your skin. You whimpered at the intensity before you grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it just enough to feel the warmth of his back despite the wet coldness of his clothes.

Taking it as a hint, he parted himself from you, letting you lift his shirt entirely before you threw it onto the floor haphazardly. Imitating you, he did the same and went even further as his hands reached the waistband of your pants. He tugged at it only a little until you lifted your lower body to allow him to slip the soaked clothing off entirely; looking at the way you laid there, his heart raced at an insane speed.

You were just as astounded, though - fingertips slowly running along his muscles, his chiseled chest and sharp jaw, you pulled him down again while he fumbled with your undershirt. In his urgency, he didn’t bother distancing himself from you again. Instead, he ripped the clothing in half and pulled it from under you as his hand cupped one of your breasts, a small moan escaping your mouth.

Jungkook gasped at the feeling of the soft roundness in his palms, slightly whining into your mouth, asking for more. He knew you were ready to give yourself to him, and yet, he hesitated. It was as if he had gotten so used to being hurt and hurting you that he feared every single touch.

“It doesn’t hurt, right?” he whispered with hooded eyes, and you shook your head, letting him know that you were finally okay.

Soon enough, his hand left your breast before he brought his lips onto your nipple instead as he nipped and sucked, teeth playing with it slightly while his fingers pinched your other. Despite your answer that you were alright, you winced, more in pleasure than in pain - and his ears immediately registered the sound.

Sudden memories of you hours ago repeated themselves, his mind now drowning in images of you in his arms, crying in pain and losing your mind as your fingers clung to his jacket. He had caused that; he was the one who had made you feel this way, and right now, he only wanted to destroy the ache - heal you instead. With only this goal in sight, he demolished the memories, kissing you so greedily that you wondered if he was still alright.

And when you felt wetness on your breast, you grabbed his face to bring it to yours, him breaking away from you hesitantly - and that’s when you noticed he had started crying, tears rolling down his cheeks silently, his expression pained, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned downwards.

“Jungkook,” you asked in worry, wiping away the wetness from his face with your thumbs before you put a hand on his scalding forehead, a silent spell cooling him down under a light glow, “what’s wrong?”

He gulped hard, blinking once as he sighed before he confessed, “I don’t want to let you go.”

“You won’t have to,” you assured, putting strands of hair behind his ears as he leaned down, his forehead touching yours.

“Be mine,” he breathed, his eyes closing and his hands cupping your face, “now and forever.”

His words sounded like pleas, laced with fear and insecurity, voice shaky. And you were fast to calm his nerves as you uttered words of comfort, “I’m yours, Jungkook. Look at me.” He opened his eyes slowly, waiting for you to continue. “I’m yours.”

You attempted to pull him down again, but he was reluctant, resisting as his mouth attached itself to the swell of your breasts, wandering down, leaving a trail of wet kisses on your stomach and sides until he reached the part that was aching for him so desperately.

“Mine,” he whispered against your skin, reaching your thighs and kissing them, tongue licking your flesh, “and I’m yours.”

His finger pressing into your clothed core was the last thing you needed to break into a series of moans before you went insane under his circling motions as he separated your legs further, watching the soaked spot on your panties, making his cock twitch in his pants.

Removing his finger, he finally tugged your panties off of you, his breathing ragged and body tingling at the realisation that all of this was actually, undoubtedly happening and not just a wishful dream.

“So beautiful,” he said mostly to himself, eyeing you from top to bottom tenderly. And again, his fingers were on you, rubbing gentle circles over your clit for a few moments and eliciting a soft whine from you before they went further south. He ran his index and middle finger along your folds, testing how wet you were as he decided to increase your pleasure and slide one of his digits into you calmly, carefully.

You groaned, grabbing the sheets under you as you arched your back, calling his name so beautifully - it drove him crazy how you went crazy under his touch, and he bit his lips, his heart hammering painfully hard against his chest. More, he wanted to give you more - and not hesitating for long, he leaned down, lips enclosing your swollen bud. His eyes stayed on you to gauge your reaction, and when you cried out in ecstasy, gaze shooting down to meet his dilated pupils, he started sucking while his nimble finger began moving.

But you were dripping, so ready for him that he didn’t need to hear much from you to slide another digit in, pumping it into you harder and faster until he picked a steady pace that had you positively mewling. Soon, he curled them inside you, reaching a sweet spot that made you moan, mixing your sounds with the ones from the thunder outside, the latter not only making your body light up blue but also your mark that bloomed over your whole arm and right shoulder.

His own flowers were shining, too, even reaching his fingers that were currently buried in you. Soulmates - that’s what you were, and there was no moment in his life that he’d ever been so fast about confirming something as he was now, because yes, you definitely, without a single trace of doubt, were just that; a perfectly fitting puzzle piece.

Pulling out his fingers, they and his mouth switched places, and now, much to your pleasure, his digits were rubbing your clit diligently as his mouth settled between your folds, his tongue soon darting out to taste your sweetness.

“Jungkook, oh my god,” you managed, your fingers grabbing his hair as he picked up the speed, licking stripes up and down your heat before pressing his lips into it - and then repeating the process.

His moans vibrated against your pussy, making your legs tremble as you felt your muscles tighten, your high creeping up on you slowly. And when he noticed, his free hand held one of your thighs down, steadying you as he continued to suck and lick on your most intimate part.

You looked at him, biting your lips and when he opened his eyes, noticing your gaze on him and increasing the pressure on your clit, something in you snapped so effectively that you finally unwinded under him. Your legs shivered, body wriggling as you keened, tugging at his hair harder.

“Fuck, that was…” you whispered, unable to finish your sentence as you attempted to steady your breathing. Still shaking, you sat up, watching him kiss your folds and thighs a few more times until he rose, too, his hands grabbing your face to claim your mouth as his again, making you taste your lingering sweetness on his lips.

You took the opportunity of him in front of you to finally tug down his underwear, not able to see the way his cock sprung out but feeling the veiny length heavy in your hand as you reached out. He gasped into your mouth without stopping the kiss and only broke away when you started gentle movements up and down his whole shaft, a quiet mumble escaping his lips, “God, I must be dreaming. This is - uh… absolutely…”

“Absolutely?”

Jungkook sighed deeply as he closed his eyes, fingers digging into your cheeks before he moaned out, “Perfect. You’re perfect.”

From what you were feeling right now, he was thick, big, but not uncomfortably much, hard as a rock and twitching in your fist. Pressing yourself against him, your arms wrapped around his neck and you pushed him flush against the mattress. You shifted to straddle him, your knees settling next to his and hand wrapping around his throbbing cock again as you took in his body - his fingers came up to dig into your thighs, his biceps flexing and abs hardening. The line of his chest was sharp, his waist narrow and his cock in your grip was leaking. Red, swollen, waiting for you.

Swiping your hair to one side with your eyes never leaving his face, you shifted again, your head coming down and your gaze fixed on his cock just for a moment before you wrapped your lips around his tip, drawing a heavenly moan out of him. Your tongue darted out to lick away his pre-cum, the taste salty and intoxicating, the feeling of him so arousing that it spurred you on to take him in deeper.

You sunk down as far as your throat allowed, focusing on licking his length along the way as you started moving up and down. The gag reflex kicked in fast, but you hollowed the inside of your mouth to hold on for longer, the sounds escaping you only causing his heart to race more relentlessly.

For a second, you lifted your head, fingers drawing circles on his stomach as you asked, “Is that okay?”

“More than okay, baby,” came his immediate response, his hips uneasy, but still doing their best to stay calm.

“Try not to look away,” you said and he nodded, fingernails bruising your shoulders harder.

Continuing, you licked a stripe along his length, gazing deep into his eyes as you put his cock in your mouth again, moving in a fast pace right from the start, slightly amused at how he’d shoot his eyes open immediately every time he closed them. He was careful to fulfill your wish, but it was so hard to do so when you looked at him like this, swallowed around him like this, your ass raised into the air and hair falling to the bed.

And as you moved so beautifully, so eagerly, your hand doing its work where your mouth couldn’t reach, he felt dizzy, feeling his cock move on its own accord and coming closer to his high when-

“Wait,” Jungkook spoke suddenly, reaching for your face to urge you to stop. Curious as to what he had to say, you halted your movements, waiting for him to speak; but instead of saying anything else, he sat up, dragging you with him. And before you knew it, he had his arm around your waist and had thrown you on your back yet again.

“I want you,” he merely whispered, only inches away from your lips, his thumb wiping away the saliva from your ministrations a moment ago, “so bad.”

“Then take me.”

“Can I?” he asked carefully, licking his lips, his eyes flickering from your face to your torso and back.

You smiled at him gently, shaking your head playfully as you answered, “Look at us. Of course you can.”

With a genuine smile back, he buried his face in the nook of your neck, lips ghosting over your skin as he aligned his cock with your sopping entrance while the other arm squeezed you tighter.

Rubbing his tip against your folds a few times, causing you to draw a sharp breath, he finally sank in, slowly, allowing you to adjust to the stretch. You let out the air that you’d inhaled, the breath you didn’t know you were holding, both your legs around him pulling him closer.

“Are you okay?” he wanted to know, warm breath brushing your neck, and you nodded. You were okay; nothing hurt anymore, and every touch mended your already healing soul.

And when he started to move, you let out a gasp at the same time as he groaned, goosebumps forming on your skin as he pushed in and pulled out in a steady rhythm. His lips sucked at your sensitive flesh, colouring it purple, blue, and red before they kissed your jaw, your chin, your cheeks.

His name slipped from your tongue - and this action reached his core, making him feel so much admiration for the way you called out to him, urging him to fuck you deeper and harder.

Limbs entangled, your hands squeezed his shoulders tighter, moans spilling out of you as you pleaded, “Ju- Jungkook... more.”

“More?” he repeated, his head shooting up to face you, a smirk decorating his features that reminded you of Jungkook, the boy you’d known your whole life. The boy you’d fought with, the one who’d teased you about the littlest things. The boy who was a man now, your man who you were so endlessly and unconditionally in love with.

“More, please,” you barely managed, pulling him in for a kiss, but soon wailing into his mouth when you felt him go much faster than before, pounding into you. Lewd and panting sounds filled the room, the rain serving as background music, and you took in his expression, so gentle and adoring that you felt your heart crumble right in his palms.

The stretch was impeccable, the feeling of him thrusting in and out so intense that you felt the coil in your stomach build up again. By now, Jungkook was in an ultimate haze, spiraling, and you knew he was losing control when his palm on your arm sent a warm wave through your body, your insides heating up so suddenly that you whimpered.

Copying his actions, you ran your fingertips over his spine, your ice-cold touch having him shiver and shake as he halted his movements before snapping his hips hard against yours. His thrusts harsher now, he let you cover his skin in goosebumps while yours burned up, having you whine and keen in delight, urging you closer to your high.

But before you could find release, he suddenly pulled out, the warmth of his chest disappearing, and you began to protest at the emptiness.

Sweat glistened on his temples and he slicked his long hair back with his fingers before he commanded, “Turn around.”

Your body listened immediately, moving effectively, and yet, he grabbed your legs, flipping you faster before he grabbed your ass, parting your cheeks as his cock slipped in again without a warning. Moans muffled by the pillow under you, you grabbed the sheets next to your head.

And then, he continued his thrusts, reaching even deeper than before. He pressed his chest against your back, fingers of one of his hands coming up to intertwine with yours, pinning your whole body under him as he proceeded fucking you, the whole mattress moving with you.

His other hand grabbed the head post hard as he fucked into you, and a few moments later, you faintly recognized the scent of burnt wood, your eyes darting up to see a steam escape through his fingers, veins visible along his whole arm. Jungkook was gone - lost in you so unfathomably that he didn’t notice what his magic was carrying out right now.

“You’re so beautiful,” he claimed as he covered your back and shoulders in chaste kisses, “so pretty, my love.”

Your heart stopped again at the name before it rapidly picked up its pace again, your head turning to his face right in front of yours, lips ghosting over your cheek, your erratic breaths melding. “God, I adore you so fucking much, Y/N,” he said, squeezing your hand tighter.

“Yours,” you whispered out of context, unable to think straight as he robbed any sanity you had left.

His movements never faltered, hammering into you relentlessly, and you tried to mutter rational sentences back - but words left you, failed you entirely. And as his hand let you go, somehow snaking under the congested space under you and reaching your clit to rub it deliciously, he brought his lips to your ears, softly confessing, “I love you.”

And that was it. From that moment on, you knew you were ruined.

Hearing just these three words, the knot in your lower stomach released again, your walls clenching and pulsating around him and making him growl; your arousal covered his cock, wet sounds reaching your ears, and your eyes burned from the emotional intensity you felt right now. You looked at him, begging for his lips, coming closer as you answered, “Jungkook, I- I love you, too. I can’t sto-”

He silenced you with a passionate kiss immediately as his legs started to give in, the movements of his hips losing their rhythm as his tongue danced with yours. And then, he ultimately spilled inside you. Using some more thrusts to finish, he groaned, mouth leaving yours to bite into your shoulder, teeth marking you as his, and his only.

He whispered again and again that he loved you, telling you that he’d stay for as long as you needed him as his lips covered your back in gentle pecks.

Still inside and on top of you, he waited until you both calmed down before he kissed your lips briefly and rolled off of you. His arms immediately wrapped around you, pulling you impossibly close and holding you tightly as you wrapped your leg around his waist, not caring that both your releases were dripping onto the bed.

“You’re so warm,” you told him, drowning in the way you could feel him, touch him without any pain taking over your body. You couldn’t believe that you were - even after everything had happened - in his arms, engulfed in him, watching as your marks glowed in the darkness. They’d become a little fainter - and one day, they’d stop glowing and growing altogether, indicating the true love you’d found in each other for all eternity at last.

“You are, too,” he said, pressing a kiss on your forehead before you both went silent. There were no words necessary to show each other what you felt, what had hidden in your minds for so long and finally escaped now.

And as you listened to his steadying heartbeat and the rain hitting the window, you drifted off.

The thunder struck you awake, your body flinching hard as your heartbeat increased. Your hands reached out but found the bed empty.

He was gone again.

You shot up - you adjusted to the place, confirming that you were still here, that you had not dreamt all of this, and feeling panic rise up in you, your shaky and sleep drunken voice called out, “Jungkook?”

No answer.

Your body quivered from the cold and a lot of your skin was still bare, your panties and a very thin shirt being the only clothing covering you. You rubbed your arms, biting your lips as your eyes searched your surroundings.

“Jungkook!” you said again, louder this time. The fear in you rose; you couldn’t lose him, not now, not again, not after all that had happened.

Where was he?!

A few uneventful seconds passed and you felt your throat clog right before the door finally opened and he came in, torso bare and a thicker blanket in his hands than you had on your legs. His eyes widened when he saw your expression, hurrying to you and tucking you both in as he pulled you in again before he asked, “Are you okay?”

“I thought you were gone,” you admitted, a few tears of relief spilling out as you hugged him close, “I thought I was alone.”

“No, my love. Was just getting another blanket because you were trembling. Still are. And I won’t be able to warm you while we’re asleep...” At the sound of a sob that escaped you, he squeezed you tighter, cooing, “It’s okay. I’m here. Everything’s okay.”

He pulled the two blankets up to your chins, pressing his palm flat against your back before you felt an increasing warmth spread across your body.

“Are you doing that?” you asked against his chest, fingers digging into his hot skin.

“I am.” His hand shifted and slipped under your shirt, his magic killing your shivers and helping you warm up effectively as you muttered a small “Thank you” back, lips brushing his chest.

You should’ve probably wondered about your parents and the reactions they’d give you when you came back home. You should’ve asked yourself if Seokjin had told them where you were, what had happened.

And maybe, possibly, you should’ve wondered about the growing thought in you more; that one that told you that being the leader of your people would only be half as bad if you got to reunite the villages with Jungkook by your side. Make history, change everything that could be changed.

Yet, all your mind brought to the surface was the feeling of delight that you felt as you melted in the arms of the man that was the light to your darkness, the sun to your moon, the fire to your ice.

And you swore to yourself - that would never change.

tagging: @sugasbabiie @hoebii @ttaechwita @biaswreckme @btsmosphere @cloudteawrites @ladyartemesia @mwitsmejk @ggukkieland @moonchild1 @drumsofheaven @hantaev @jimidol @helenazbmrskai @glamorousbtslover @bbangtanlove95 @queenmasterxx​​ @yoonchrisgullwrites​ (i hope i didn’t forget anyone!)

Sprint-event-prompts:

A and B have contradicting magical powers that are incompatible to the point of them destroying each other if they get close. This doesn’t stop them from falling in love.

Everyone has a flower tattoo and it starts to bloom the closer your soulmate is.

Enjoyed the fic? Then please leave a like, review/reblog and/or send an ask! I’m always dying to hear what you think!!

The Mating Ceremony was an age old tradition in Taehyung’s pack that occurred every year, right at the start of the Spring Festival. For people who still believed in soulmates, the Mating Ceremony was an unbiased opportunity for those people to find the one that their soul desired. The Omegas and Betas would gather together, with their faces hidden, and it was up to an Alpha to use only their sense of smell to find the scent that they liked the most. 

Of course, a lot of people felt that scents weren’t the only important thing when it came to building the foundation of a relationship as time has passed but it was still an honored and revered tradition nonetheless. 

“Besides the fact that literally everyone that I know has found their mate during the Ceremony?” Taehyung huffed. “The fact that I’m almost 26 years old and haven’t found my mate yet.”

“Oh please, you say that as if you’re old and if you’re old, then I’m old,” Jimin said as he rolled his eyes. “And I’m definitely not old.”

“Well, you say that because you’re not alone,” Taehyung pointed out. “My parents found each other 27 years ago, Yoongi hyung found you three years ago, Joon hyung found Aareum the year before that, and hell, even Jin hyung found Jungkookie last year. Too long, didn’t read, I’m gonna die alone if I don’t do it.”

“I feel so bad for your future mate because you are so fucking dramatic,” Jimin laughed as he reached over and stole a French fry off of Taehyung’s plate.

“You’d have time to warn them if you’d just tell me who’s joining this year,” Taehyung tried to persuade him. “Come on, what’s the point in having the Head Omega as your best friend if he doesn’t supply you with useful information?”

“Oh, and here I was thinking that I was your bestfriend because I’m your platonic soulmate,” Jimin scoffed. “Look Tae, the entire point of the Mating Ceremony is to let your heart and your nose do the deciding for you. If I tell you who’s participating and who’s not, it’ll cloud your judgement and then the whole thing will be moot.”

“Ugh, fine Mr. “I wanna be ethical”,” Taehyung sighed as he stood up from the table. “I gotta go and finish up my gift for the Ceremony so I’ll see you later.”

“See you later, Pouty Pants,” Jimin giggled as he waved his hand and Taehyung began to walk around the territory. He wasn’t lying when he said that he needed to go finish working on his courting gift, but he figured that it wouldn’t hurt to take a walk around the pack’s territory before he did.

Taehyung’s pack was pretty tight knit, though it was considered to be considerably larger than the other surrounding packs. Even though Taehyung’s family weren’t the ones who founded the pack, his great-great-grandfather was one of the first members to join the pack so Taehyung‘s family line literally had stakes in the very beginning of the pack. 

Growing up, Taehyung had been pretty well known around the pack but after he presented as an Alpha, it was as if he were a celebrity. Every unmated Alpha, Beta, and Omega seemed to be after him and admittedly, he had enjoyed the attention for the last few years but now, he was ready to find his mate, settle down, and start a family.

Just as Taehyung walked around the corner that separated the school building and the doctor’s house, he collided with a figure that had literally rushed into him. 

“Hey!” Taehyung yelped, gasping when the papers that the person had been holding fell down onto the ground. 

“Oh my gosh,” you whispered, bending down and beginning to pick the papers up. Taehyung bent down as well, helping when he realized who you were.

“Y/N?” He called and you looked up at him, your eyes widening when you realize who he was.

“Oh Taehyung, I’m so sorry,” you apologized, bowing your head to him.

“No no no, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it,” he assured you. “Just let me help you with these.”

“I already ran into you, you don’t have to,” you tried to say but Taehyung just cut you off.

“I want to,” he chuckled and you just decided to let it go as the two of you finished picking up all of the fallen papers. Once you were both done, you stood up straight and Taehyung handed the small stack of papers that he had collected over to you. 

“So, where were you off to that has you in such a rush?” Taehyung wondered with a smile. 

“Well, uh, the start of Spring marks the halfway point in the second half of the schoolyear for the pups so I was in a rush to get their progress reports finished,” you explained and Taehyung couldn’t help but to smile at how shy you still seemed to be around him. 

The two of you knew of each other from around the pack and you went to school together, being as though the two of you were born in the same year. Because of that, you both had a lot of mutual friends but the two of you never hung out much because you were really shy and seemed almost scared of Taehyung so he always made sure to give you your space. 

“Ah, you do work in the school building,” he chuckled.

“With the seven to nine year olds,” you smiled. 

“I remember, I remember,” he nodded. “Well, besides that, how are you?”

“Good, good,” you replied. “Busy as ever this time of year, but good. How about yourself?”

“I’m good, just preparing for the Spring Festival, ” he told her. 

“Oh, are you doing the Mating Ceremony this year?” You asked and he nodded his head. 

“Are you?”

“I’ve never done it before and I don’t think I’ll start now,” you giggled. “It’s not really my thing.”

“What, finding your soulmate isn’t your thing?” Taehyung teased.

“No, I meant that not being picked by anyone wouldn’t be my thing,” you clarified. 

“Oh please, somebody would definitely choose you,” Taehyung said. “I know that we don’t talk much but anyone can see that you’re a good woman and a great Omega. I bet that any Alpha would be proud to have you be their mate.”

“Oh,” you uttered in surprise, and Taehyung couldn’t help but to feel a little sense of pride at how flustered he had made you. “T-Thank you Taehyung.”

“You’re welcome,” he grinned. 

“W-Well, I have to go,” you murmured. “See you around?”

“Yeah, see you,” Taehyung agreed but he didn’t know if you’d even heard him because you were already walking, almost running, away from him.

.....................................

Even though the Spring Fest was being held during the first week of April, Taehyung had made the decision that he’d be participating back in December of the previous year and this was because he wanted to make sure he had enough time to prepare his courting gift. A courting gift would show his future mate that he was serious about them so it took Taehyung a lot of thought to decide what he wanted to give his future mate. In the end though, it was actually Taehyung’s mother who helped him. 

He off-handedly mentioned that he was trying to figure out a gift and she ended up giving him his great-grandmother’s engagement ring. It was a ruby that sat on a nest of gold diamonds, with a gold band to accompany it. Taehyung was familiar with it because it was a family heirloom and he was so honored that his mother trusted him with it. 

When the first day of the Spring Fest arrived, Taehyung made sure that the ring box was nestled safely in the pocket of his slacks before he checked his appearance in the mirror. Wanting to look his best, he settled on a button up dress shirt that was a deep maroon color and paired it with black slacks. He added a few simple accessories like a few rings on both hands and earrings but he skipped any necklaces or bracelets, wanting to makes sure that nothing would get in the way of someone being able to smell his scent. 

“Let’s go find our mate,” Taehyung whispered to himself, making sure to fix his hair one last time before hurrying up and rushing out of the front door of his house. 

The Mating Ceremony was to be held in the large flower garden that was towards the back of the pack’s territory. The logic behind it was that finding your soulmate amongst beautiful things would help your relationship with said soulmate be beautiful as well. 

When Taehyung got there, he immediately spotted Jin and Jungkook sitting together on a bench so he walked over to them. 

“Hi Tae hyung!” Jungkook greeted him happily. 

“Hi,” Taehyung replied. “You guys came for moral support?”

“You know it,” Jin nodded. “You look really good Tae-ah.”

“Ready to find your soulmate?” Jungkook wondered.

“Thank you, and hopefully,” Taehyung sighed heavily. “I’m so nervous.”

“Don’t worry hyung, all you have to do is trust your nose,” Jungkook told him. 

“Kook’s right, you know our senses will never purposefully lead us wrong,” Jin added. 

“Thanks for the advice guys,” Taehyung chuckled, reaching out and ruffling Jungkook’s hair a little. Suddenly, a voice erupted over the loud speakers that had been placed around the garden. 

“The Mating Ceremony is about to commence,” the voice that Taehyung recognized as Jimin announced. “If you are offering a gift, please get into position.”

“Well, that’s my cue,” Taehyung said.

“Relax and don’t worry,” Jin advised him. “Just...let it happen.”

“Ok,” Taehyung nodded before turning around and walking over to a large wall of white roses. Falling into line with several other Alphas and Betas who were also participating in the Ceremony, he waited with baited breath as another line of Omegas and Betas stepped into the garden and walked over to stand right in front of the wall of roses. 

Every Omega or Beta had a veil or mask over their face so that they couldn’t be seen, and their own choice of outfit but most of them were dressed pretty formally, just like Taehyung was. 

“Alphas and Betas who are presenting gifts, you know the rules,” Jimin spoke up again. “No sneaking a peek at anybody until you offer them your gift and they actually accept it, no trying to force your gift upon anyone who makes it clear that they do not want it, and trust your instincts! Happy finding!”

Taehyung then closed his eyes, taking a deep inhale in order to smell the air around him. He picked up a few scents here and there, with hints of chocolate and mint but none of them especially stuck out to them. He then opened his eyes and they slightly widened when he saw some of the Alphas and Betas already offering gifts to some of the Betas and Omegas who had been waiting. He had to admit, it kind of shocked him because it was seemingly so simple for them but not for him. Deciding to follow everyone’s advice and trust his senses, he shut his eyes again and took another deep breath it, and that was when he smelled it.

The initial wave that hit his nose was reminiscent of tangerines, and then that was mixed with the scent of berries that seemed to almost intermingle with the tangerine scent. Those were two very typical scents, especially for Omegas, but what really caught Taehyung’s attention was the scent of pink champagne. It was something that he had never smelt in a scent before and before he could even realize it, he was moving towards the source of the scent.

When he realized that he had stepped up to the person that the scent belonged to, he took a second to look over them. It seemed to be a woman, who had on a flowing white dress along with a small matching white veil. Taehyung reached out and extended his wrist towards their nose for them to be able to smell his scent clearly and when the woman let out an appreciative hum, Taehyung’s heart clenched because this was it. He had found the one. 

Taehyung reached into his pocket and took out the ring box, extending it towards the woman. The woman then reached out and took the box from it, a soft giggle coming from her as she did so.

“Thank you,” the woman said and Taehyung’s eyes widened because he recognized the voice, he just couldn’t remember where from. When the woman reached up and lifted the veil back from her face, Taehyung wanted to kick himself for not immediately recognizing who the voice came from. 

“Hi,” you smiled. 

.....................................

“I cannot believe that I didn’t know that it was you,” Taehyung huffed.

“Well, that’s kind of the point Taehyung,” you giggled from your spot on his bed. After the ceremony had ended, Taehyung invited you back to his house so that the two of you could have some alone time.

“I just didn’t expect this,” he said as he sat down next to you.

“Are you...upset that I’m your mate?” You asked wearily and Taehyung immediately shook his head.

“No!” He exclaimed. “Even though we don’t talk much, I know that you’re amazing. Hell, Jungkook raves about you all the time. I also meant what I said the other day.”

“W-Well, that’s good,” you replied shyly. “By the way, I’m sorry for not talking to you much over the years.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” he shrugged. “I just figured that you were shy and I don’t mind that.”

“It wasn’t shyness, though,” you blurted and his eyebrows rose. 

“Really?”

“The truth is, I’ve had a crush on you since you presented,” you confessed. 

“Y/N, that was almost 10 years ago,” he gasped in surprise. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I never thought that I had a chance,” You chuckled. “For years, every unmated Omega and Beta and even some Alphas have been after you. When you look at them and then look at me, I’m not as interesting or as beautiful when compared to them. I don’t know, I just don’t think that I measure up.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Taehyung admonished you. “You’re gorgeous Y/N-ah, and the sweetest person I know.”

“Really?” You deadpanned.

“Absolutely,” he nodded. He could tell that you didn’t believe him though, so he decided to be honest. “You wanna know something?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve had a crush on you too,” he admitted, making your eyes widen. “Not for as long as you have, but at least two years. I just never made a move because you seemed so shy around me and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable because I figured that you just weren’t interested.”

“Seriously?” You gasped and he nodded. “We’re a big pair of idiots then, huh?”

“Definitely,” he laughed as he reached over and grabbed both of your hands in his. “It’s a good thing that we both decided to participate in the Ceremony then, huh?”

“Another confession? I only joined because I was hoping that my Omega would be able to say to your Alpha what I’ve never been able to bring myself to say aloud,” you told him. 

“And what is that?”

“That I want to be with you, Kim Taehyung,” you replied. Taehyung felt his Alpha preen at your confession and it wasn’t that Taehyung had doubted the validity of the Ceremony but actually being able to feel the connection between the two of you only solidified everything for him.

“I want to be with you too Y/N L/N,” he smiled. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” you giggled and Taehyung let go of your hands to set his hands on your cheeks, leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss began soft at first, the both of you feeling a little nervous since this whole thing was so new.

It wasn’t until you laid back on the bed, pulling Taehyung down along with you that the two of you became more comfortable, you opening your mouth and allowing his tongue to slide against yours. Taehyung set his hand on your thigh, gently tracing random shapes with his fingertips as you kissed each other passionately.

“Y/N, I have to ask you something,” he murmured and you pulled away from his lips to look up at him. 

“What is it?”

“Are you a virgin?” He wondered and you felt your cheeks warm up immediately. “I’m not trying to be intrusive or anything, I just want to know so that I can gauge how comfortable you are.”

“Do you remember when I dated Xiumin?” You asked him and he rolled his eyes.

“That dickhead? Yeah,” he huffed.

“I lost my virginity to him.”

“Well, I can’t say that I’m in love with that piece of information,” he admitted.

“I only dated him because I was trying to get over you, which sounds really bad when I say it out loud,” you laughed. “That was around the same time that you were dating Jisoo.”

“Ah,” he said as he set his fingertips over your lips to silence you. “We don’t mention that forbidden name.”

“Ok, sorry,” you giggled. 

“So, if I told you that I want to have sex with you tonight,” Taehyung began, making your lower half clench around nothing. “Would you want to?”

“Yes,” you rushed out. “I want to.”

“Good, because I want to too,” he smiled before leaning down and kissing you again. You moaned into his mouth when he moved over so that he was on top of you, his lips never leaving yours as he did so. He then trailed his lips downwards, licking and sucking on the skin of your neck. 

“Ohh,” you sighed in pleasure, reaching down and tangling your fingers in his hair. Taehyung pulled away and reached up to grab your hands, untangling them from his hair and holding your wrists firmly when he placed them back down on the bed above your head, holding them there. 

“You keep these here for me, ok?” He asked and you could tell from his tone that he was both asking for permission and clarification. 

“Ok,” you whispered and he smiled. 

“Perfect Omega,” he murmured as he went back to kissing your neck and you had to clasp your hands together because you were too tempted to reach down and touch him again. After he had left a few marks on your neck, he brought his hands up and grabbed onto your breasts which made you gasp.

“As beautiful as this dress is Y/N-ah, I think we should take it off now. Yeah?” Taehyung suggested and you nodded your head rapidly. He moved off of you so that you could sit up and he moved around the bed on his knees so that he was behind you. He reached out and pulled down the zipper on your dress, and you reached up and pulled the dress down off of your shoulders. Once your arms were out of it, you got up onto your knees and pushed it down your legs and onto the floor. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous Y/N-ah,” he muttered huskily as he took in the sight of you in your stark white bralette and white lace panties. Your Omega preened at his praise, making your cheeks warm up.

“Really?”

“Really,” he smiled, moving back around your body and leaning down so that he was face to face with your breasts as he reached out to grab ahold of them. “I’m so fucking lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” you whispered as he pulled the material of the bralette to the side, causing both of your breasts to fall out. Without another word, he leaned forward and sucked your nipple into his mouth. You couldn’t help but to fall back on the bed, Taehyung falling along without a problem and not letting up on the onslaught that was his tongue.

Once your nipple had stiffened to a peak, he switched over to your other nipple and gave it the same treatment. You could smell your scent from in between your thighs, the notes of berries and pink champagne becoming stronger and stronger the wetter you became. 

You knew Taehyung could smell you too, because you could feel the outline of his hard cock against your inner thigh. 

“Fuck, Alpha,” you whimpered. “Wanna suck you off.”

“Whatever you want baby,” he agreed easily after pulling his mouth away from you, sitting up and reaching down to unbutton his slacks. You sat up, watching with hooded eyes as he unzipped them, pushing them down a little bit so that he was able to pull out his cock and your mouth literally watered at the sight of it. 

Taehyung’s cock wasn’t enormous, but it was definitely longer than average and it looked to be thick. You reached out and wrapped both of your hands around his length, and you felt yourself become wetter when you realized that you couldn’t even wrap your hands around him completely.

“Fuck, I can smell you baby,” he grumbled and you moaned softly at the pet name. “Do you like what you see?”

“Mmhm,” you nodded, leaning forward and wrapping your lips around the head of his cock. He exhaled harshly, looking down to watch as you did your best to take as much of him in your mouth as possible. You actually managed to do pretty good, doing your best to breathe through your nose as you sunk down closer and closer to the base of his cock. 

“Oh fuck,” he huffed. “Such a good girl, taking Alpha’s cock down your throat.” Bringing your hands back up, you stacked both of them on top of each other as you jerked him off while suckling on the head of his cock. 

“God, that feels good. Makes me want to fuck your throat,” he grumbled. “You gonna let me do that one day baby? Gonna let Alpha use your mouth?”

“Mmm, yes Alpha,” you gasped after releasing him from your mouth, your spit acting as lube as you continued to jerk him off. 

“Fuck, lay down for me,” he instructed you. “I have to taste you.” You didn’t hesitate to follow his instructions, laying back on the bed and resting on your forearms as you watched him push his slacks and boxers down and off his legs before he moved onto unbuttoning his shirt. 

He wasn’t overly muscular but you could still see the outline of what would be a six-pack, and your inner Omega loved the fact that your Alpha would be able to protect you if need be. 

Taehyung laid down on his front in between your legs, pulling your panties to the side before leaning forward and licking a stripe up your pussy, from your slit up to your clit. You gasped, your thighs involuntarily coming to together but Taehyung’s hands came up to push them back down. 

“Be still and let me make you come baby,” he whispered and you nodded numbly. He then went back to licking at you, making you whine and squirm underneath him. 

“Huh, holy shit,” you gasped, your chest beginning to move up and down quickly as your orgasm approached you. “Please don’t stop Tae.”

“Mmm,” he moaned against you, shaking his head back and forth over your clit which made his tongue do the same. 

“Do that again,” you requested and he obliged you, shaking his head back and forth rapidly and you felt your orgasm winding to it’s end in your abdomen. “Fuck yes, I’m gonna come.” Your head fell back onto the bed and just as you closed your eyes and felt yourself about to tip over the edge into ecstasy, Taehyung pulled away from you. 

“What?” You whimpered as you opened your eyes, looking down at him. 

“I want you to come on my knot,” he told you. He reached out and grabbed the band of your panties, pulling them down your legs and throwing them onto the floor. He then settled himself in between your thighs, leaning down and letting his cock rub against your clit. 

“If you want me to come on your knot, you shouldn’t do that,” you whimpered.

“You could come like this?” He wondered in awe and you nodded your head. “We’re gonna have to test that out one day.”

“We have the rest of our lives for that,” you promised him. 

“You got that right,” he smiled, moving his hips so that he could slide inside of you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your hands gripping onto his arms as he slowly opened you up. 

“Fuh, fuck,” you stuttered, your eyes fluttering closed at how good he felt inside of you, stretching you out in the best way.

“God, you’re so tight but you’re opening up so well for me baby,” Taehyung grunted, making sure to push his hips as close to yours as he could so that he could go as deep as possible. “You really are my mate, huh?”

“Yes,” you whispered, your mind barely being able to comprehend his words because the feeling of being completely and utterly clouded all of your senses. He continued to roll his hips against yours, his cock dragging against your walls as he did. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this, how much I’ve thought about this,” he muttered. “I’d see you walking around the territory all shy, keeping your eyes low so that people wouldn’t approach you and all I could think about was that you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and how much I wanted to fuck you with my knot.”

“Mmm, knot,” you slurred, making Taehyung smile because of course knot was the word that you caught. 

“I’d watch you with the pups, teaching them and being so gentle and patient with them and my only thought would be about how I wanted to fuck some pups of my own into you so that you could be their mother,” he groaned, his hips stuttering slightly when he felt your walls clench around him like a vice grip. “Oh, you want that? Want Alpha to give you some pups?”

“Fuck yes,” you moaned wantonly, moving your own hips so that you were fucking back onto him. “Want your cum, want a pup.”

“I’ll give it to you baby,” he swore as he began to fuck you faster. “Alpha will give you anything you want.”

“W-want you,” you whined as you felt your orgasm quickly building back up again. 

“You have me baby,” he chuckled deeply. “You always have, I think.”

“A-alpha, g-gonna c-c-come,” you managed to utter as your body moved up and down the bed, the force of Taehyung fucking you literally moving you on the bed. 

“Go ahead so that I can knot you gorgeous,” he encouraged you. You reached down and set your fingertips on your clit, only managing to make two circles on it before you were coming. Your thighs spasmed and clutched around Taehyung’s waist, the rest of your body shaking on the bed from how forceful your orgasm was. 

“T-Tae,” you whimpered, your body shivering even after the crest of your orgasm had passed. Taehyung leaned down, pressing soft kisses against your face that were in stark contrast to how he was still fucking you. 

“So good for me baby,” he whispered. “Came so prettily for me.”

“Kiss me,” you pleaded weakly and he just smiled at you before pressing his lips against yours. The force coming from how hard he was thrusting into you caused your mouth to fall open and Taehyung didn’t hesitate to stick his tongue inside, exploring around.

You literally felt his cock pulse inside of you and before you could pull away in order to ask, ropes of his cum flooded into you. His knot inflated immediately afterwards, making you moan as it forced its’ way inside of you. 

“Holy shit Y/N-ah,” he panted as he hid his face in your neck, collapsing on top of you. “I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life.”

“Me either,” you admitted with a giggle. “I loved it though.”

“Me too,” he muttered as he pulled himself up so that he could look down at you. “I know this is probably a weird thing to ask given what we just got finished doing, but you accept the fact that you’re my mate right?”

“Tae, of course,” you smiled. “My Omega would hate me if I rejected you and you know our wolf side doesn’t lie.”

“I guess I just wanted to know if it was as strong for you as it was for me,” he mumbled and you placed your hands on his cheeks, making him look down at you. 

“You’re my mate Kim Taehyung,” you told him. “I knew it and felt it the moment that you gave me your wrist and I smelled your scent.”

“I knew it too,” he smiled. “I’ll give you your bite in the morning, I’m just too tired right now.”

“No complaints from me,” you laughed. “Coming so hard can definitely take a lot out of a person.” Taehyung then laid his head down on your chest and you reached up, setting your hands in his hair as you began to play with the sweaty strands.

“I’m so glad that my Alpha chose you,” he muttered sleepily and you could feel the goofy smile spread onto your face before you leaned down and kissed the top of his head. 

“Are you sure you both have to leave?” you whine, flopping onto Taehyung’s bed.

“For the tenth time Y/n, yes. My grandparents really need my help on the farm.” Taehyung says, reaching for one of his folded shirts that lay beside you.

“And you know if I skip going home for the second year in a row, my mom’ll show up on campus and literally drag me home,” Jimin adds, zipping up his suitcase. “Besides, I still don’t know why you’re being so dramatic about going home with Jungkook. You’d think you’d be excited to pretend to be his fake girlfriend with how whipped you are for him.”

In response, you fling the nearest article of clothing at him, which just so happens to be a pair of Taehyung’s underwear. “Shut up, don’t be an ass! I’d be more excited if he didn’t react the way he did when I asked.”

“He told you he was just nervous he’d fuck it up, remember?” Taehyung reminds you.

“Yeah, but still. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to last a week pretending to date someone I wish was actually my boyfriend.” Jimin and Taehyung share a knowing look when you’re not watching, but don’t say anything more.

With one of your cousins getting married at the same time as your university’s spring break, your family is ecstatic. They’re looking forward to seeing you after being so far from home. Being a student from another country meant that when you moved to South Korea for school, you would be leaving behind your large, close-knit family. You use any opportunity you have to see them.

The problem, though, is that you know as soon as you show up, you’ll get question after question thrown at you. You’ll be asked where your significant other was and when you were going to settle down. As the oldest cousin in your family, you’re used to the interrogation, but that doesn’t make it any less grating.

That’s why when your mom brought the wedding up and asked if you were bringing your partner, you said yes, but intentionally avoided saying who it was.

You’ve asked every member of your friend group. Unfortunately, with Taehyung, Jimin, Seokjin, and your roommate Sana all going home for the break, that left your closest friend out of the group: Jungkook.

Jungkook, who you have also been in love with since you met two years ago and whom you’ve been pining over for just as long. You didn’t intend on asking him, but after Jimin threatened to tell Jungkook that you wanted to ‘suck the soul of him’, you caved and asked him when the two of you were in the library studying for a quiz.

“You know how last month, I mentioned that my cousin’s wedding is coming up during spring break?” you asked suddenly.

“Yeah.”

“And you know how I told you the other day that I had plans for us to go abroad on vacation together for spring break?”

This caught Jungkook’s attention. He looked up from his textbook, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Mmhmm…”

“Well, I need you to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“What?!” he said a little too loudly, earning a dirty look from a student at another table.

“Oh, come on, you know how my family is. Always up my ass about dating and settling down. They’re all going to give me so much shit if I show up alone, so I told them that I’m in a relationship.”

"And now you're asking me to do what? Be your plus one in a fake dating AU?"

This wasn’t the reaction you expected, so you tried to ignore the hurt you felt at Jungkook being so against the idea of dating you.

“Please? I’ll still pay for your ticket like I said I would. I’ll make sure not to be all sappy in public and make you uncomfortable.”

You watched as multiple unreadable expressions flashed across Jungkook’s face. Every second of silence had you regretting asking him more and more.

“Alright,” Jungkook finally sighed. “I’ll do it. And you won’t make me uncomfortable. I just don’t want to blow your cover, is all.” He scratched the back of his neck, nervously looking away.

Relieved that Jungkook didn’t seem as turned off as he did with being your fake boyfriend, you brushed off his hesitance. “Is that what you’re worried about? Don’t be silly. It’ll be fine. We’ll just need to work on our story, is all.”

You went back to your textbook, feeling less stressed than you had going into this conversation.

Next to you, Jungkook sent a panicked text to Jimin and Taehyung, telling them he won’t be able to survive pretending to be your boyfriend because he knows it’ll never be true. He wanted more than anything to tell you how much he loves you, but you don’t feel the same, so he’ll keep it to himself.

The flight home is a long one and has both you and Jungkook feeling restless in your seats. You’ve gone through the account of how you got together at least every four hours of the sixteen-hour flight to make sure it’s solid. Since your mom and siblings already know who Jungkook is, having met him multiple times over video calls, you luckily didn’t need to fabricate too much.

When asked how you got together, the story is that Jungkook confessed to you three months ago when you were hanging out studying one night. You’re going to say you’ve always had feelings for him, so you said yes, and so far, it has been a fantastic time together.

Even though you’re an expert at hiding any reaction about your true feelings towards Jungkook, saying it out loud made you ache. More than anything, you wanted it to be real, but you had long since made peace with the idea that you and Jungkook would likely never get together.

He isn’t the first person you’ve been friends with that you had developed feelings for. There have been a few other occasions, but the first was in your first year of middle school. You had developed a crush on a boy you’d known all year and told him during a school dance, thinking it would be the perfect scenario to confess how you felt. Unfortunately, you had misread some supposed signals from him because he flat out rejected you and wasn’t too kind about it. You still remember the harsh words about how you would “never be his type,” and the laughter that followed.

Soon after, word had spread to your friend group, and he, along with a few others, stopped speaking with you. Just like that, you had lost some of your close friends because of a silly crush. You know Jungkook isn’t comparable to a childish teenage boy and that your current friends won’t abandon you (seeing how they all know how you feel). However, the fear and the hurt still lingers like a sour taste at the back of your mouth. The thought of ruining your friendship with Jungkook terrifies you. If that means you have to pine over him for the remainder of college and into adulthood, then so be it.

Upon finally landing and collecting your bags, your mind is still swirling with what-ifs around if you should admit your feelings to Jungkook, but you’re finally stopped when you hear your name being called across the airport.

Turning with your bags still in hand, you see your mom, brother, and sister waving you down as they rush over to you. Before you can properly greet them, your mom pulls you into a tight hug.

“Y/n! Oh my god, you’re here!” She sounds like she’s going to cry as she rocks you back and forth. “You’re finally here!”

“Yes, I’m here. I missed you.” You hug her back, getting misty-eyed yourself.

“Alright, mom, can we hug her too?” your brother calls from behind her. Reluctantly, she releases her grip on you so your siblings can each give you hugs of their own.

The four of you fall into chatter before you remember Jungkook standing awkwardly beside you.

“Ah, right! Jungkook, you’ve already met them on video chat, but this is my mom, my sister Kayla, and my brother Ray. Guys, this is my boyfriend, Jungkook.”

“Hi,” he chirps out, offering a small wave. Your mom immediately pulls Jungkook into a hug.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you in person!” He looks taken aback but returns the hug anyway.

After all the greetings are done, your brother leads everyone through the airport and into the parking lot. Your sister lags behind to walk next to you as Jungkook, your brother, and mom walk ahead of you, making conversation with him.

“Wow. He’s even hotter in person,” Kayla comments, eyes very clearly fixated on Jungkook’s ass in his favorite pair of ripped jeans.

“Um, can you not?!” You push her half-jokingly, but she barely notices.

“Oh, chill out. I’m not going to steal your boyfriend from you. I’m just admiring the scenery, is all.” You shoot her another look. “Fine, I’ll stop.” She loops her arm through yours as you continue outside to your brother’s parked SUV.

Ray and Jungkook pack both of your suitcases into the trunk as you pile in, your mom taking shotgun and Kayla sitting to one side, leaving you to sit between her and Jungkook.

The ride through traffic takes a little time, but your mother fills the silence with talk of your cousin's wedding even though you’ve already talked about the whole thing at least twenty times.

Your cousin and her soon-to-be wife had asked your mom to hold the wedding in the backyard of your childhood home. Your house was always where your family would convene for reunions, birthday parties, and barbeques, simply because it was the biggest, so naturally, this was your cousin's first choice.

Even though you already know this, and all of the other small details of the wedding, it doesn’t stop your mom from pulling up pictures on her phone. She shows Jungkook all of the centerpieces and goody bags they’ve already made. She gushes about how excited she is to see one of her nieces finally get married and says it while giving you a look that you know all too well. “And you’ll be next, right?” you can practically hear her asking you.

As if sensing your discomfort rising, your brother pipes up, launching into a story about a new client he’s building a house for and how hard it is being an architect. He shoots you a look through the rearview mirror, and you nod, letting him know how grateful you are at the conversation rescue.

“Wow,” you breathe out once the car is parked and everyone is standing in the driveway. Even after all these years, your childhood home has stayed the same. Pale blue paint on the outside with the same white shutters and white door. The lawn is slightly unruly, but the tree you’ve fallen out of plenty of times still stands tall and proud.

“It’s good to have you home,” your mother says from behind you, squeezing your arm before heading up the walkway.

Once inside, the all too familiar scent that smells like cleaning supplies and freshly cooked food surrounds you as you lead Jungkook upstairs. The two of you would be staying in your childhood bedroom, which your mother has, surprisingly, left untouched.

Upon entering, you can’t help but laugh as you plop onto your bed. It’s truly the same, you think, as you take in your My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy posters that line the walls and your desk that still holds a stack of Twilight books. Your queen bed even has the same pale pink comforter you left on it when you went away for college - clean and freshly washed, of course.

Jungkook eyes a few pictures you have hanging up on a corkboard above your desk with some of your high school friends and can’t help but smile at the sight of you in braces and mid-2000s fashion. Even if he had been in the same country as you in high school and met you then, he’d still love you the way he does now.

“So…” you speak, breaking the silence that had taken over the two of you. “This isn’t too weird, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“This.” You gesture between the two of you and your bedroom. “All of this. Lying to my family and being in my bedroom.”

“You act like I don’t hang out in your bedroom back at school.”

“Jungkook, you know what I mean. We’ve never shared a bed.” You shrug, playing it off as a casual observation as if your hand isn’t trembling at the thought.

As if the realization hits him at the same time, Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly as his gaze darts to the bed. “Oh, right. Well, I mean, I can always just sleep on the floor when everyone else goes to bed so they won’t know. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t need to do that. It’s not that big of a deal. I was just saying.” Kicking yourself for even bringing it up, you try to think of a way to steer the conversation away from sleeping arrangements. You feel relief when there’s a knock on your door, interrupting the awkward atmosphere. “Come in!”

Your sister pokes her head in, eyes taking in your body still sprawled on the bed with Jungkook standing close by, not having moved from where he was observing your photos.

“Aunt Cora and Aunt Tia are here,” she informs you.

“Okay, we’ll be right behind you.” You jump up, anxious to leave the awkwardness behind, and follow her out of the room, Jungkook in tow.

“Did I interrupt?” Kayla mumbles in your ear, her eyebrow wiggling.

“No. We were just talking.” You clear your throat, hoping Jungkook isn’t listening.

“Mmhmm. Talking. Whatever you say. Tonight, can you just please remember that we share a wall? I can put my headphones on when I sleep. I just ask that you give a girl a heads up.”

“Kayla!” You nearly trip down the stairs at her words, your cheeks instantly heating up as she speaks to both you and Jungkook.

Thankfully, none of you can come up with anything else to say before your Aunt Cora spots you and immediately rushes over to pull you into a hug.

You spend the rest of the evening greeting your aunts and cousins, including your cousin Nikki and her fianceé Diana. All embarrassment about your arrangement with Jungkook is forgotten as you bond with your family. You haven’t seen your family since you left for school, so you prioritize getting caught up in everyone’s lives.

Jungkook himself also spends plenty of time bonding with the family. Once you play 20 questions with your family, they begin to question him about his family, how he grew up, and Korea in general. He graciously answers all of their questions, his figure visibly relaxing, and he even eventually falls into a more casual conversation with your cousin Jason.

At some point, your five-year-old cousin Gina decides that she likes Jungkook the most and proceeds to mold herself to his side for the rest of the night. Seeing how comfortable he is holding and playing with her makes your heart clench, and your cheeks hurt from how much you smile as you watch him.

“Looks like he’s good with kids,” your mom muses from next to you as you help her prepare some ears of corn for boiling. You both watch Jungkook at the kitchen table with Gina in his lap, reading her one of her books that she shoved in his face.

“Yeah, he is.” You hand her a corn cob as you hear Jungkook over the chatter of the rest of the family, making his voice a pitch higher while reading.

“Does this mean grandbabies are in the future?” This question jolts you out of your trance and you turn to meet her smirk.

“Mom!”

“Oh come on, don’t ‘mom’ me. He’s cute, polite, he’s good with kids, and it’s obvious you really like him. You haven’t even been here an entire day, but I see the way you look at him.”

“I-I don’t-”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. The way you both ogle each other is cute.” She shrugs and puts the last ear of corn into the boiling pot.

“What do you mean we ‘both ogle each other?’” You’d been ready to abandon the conversation until she mentioned that.

“Just like I said, honey. You’ve been doing it all evening. When one of you isn’t looking, the other is making lovey eyes at the other. It’s obvious you love each other.”

“Aunty! We lost the remote!” One of your cousins interrupts the conversation, running over to your mom and tugging at her shirt.

She tsks at the child but nods. “I’ll come and help you find it. Y/n, keep an eye on the stove, please. The macaroni and cheese should be done any minute now, just make sure no one comes over to pick at anything before it’s done.”

As much as you want to question her more on the looks she claims are mutual, your little cousin grabs her hand and all but yanks her away from you. She has to be imagining things. You’re sure the only looks Jungkook gives you when you aren’t looking are ones of exhaustion at having to pretend like this. It’s only day one, and you still have an entire week like this to go.

Dinner goes off without a hitch. Being surrounded by your family with your mom’s cooking makes you miss being back home with everyone. Still, having Jungkook at the table reminds you of the new life you’ve built in Korea, and you tell yourself that you could never abandon all of that.

After dinner and watching a movie, where half the room ends up talking through it, your family members begin to file out, saying their goodbyes and that they’ll be by tomorrow. You, Jungkook, and your siblings clean up and do the dishes before you all head upstairs into your separate bedrooms for the night.

Once all of the commotion has died down, and it’s just you and Jungkook again, the awkwardness from earlier returns. Only this time, you’re lying in the quiet dark of your bedroom with Jungkook in bed next to you.

Your mind is racing as you try and sleep. You’re distracted by the even sounds of Jungkook breathing next to you and the way heat radiates off of his body and onto you. You’re not sure if he’s actually asleep or if he’s also suffocating in the tense air of the room, but you’re too scared to ask. Eventually, you turn away from him, shutting your eyes and trying to count sheep to see if sleep will find you. The harder you force yourself, though, the tougher rest is to come by.

That’s why when you wake up the following morning, you can practically feel the bags underneath your eyes weighing you down as you get ready for the day. Your sister demands that you go with her to get a dress for the wedding since she, as is typical of her, waited until the last minute to get something to wear.

Jungkook stays behind at Kayla’s request, stating she wants sister time. You have an inkling that she actually wants to use this time to grill you about your relationship. Your suspicions are confirmed as you recline in the chair outside of the fitting room she’s in.

“So...you look pretty tired this morning, Y/n. Long night?” Her suggestive tone clues you in almost immediately.

“Yeah, the time difference is really fucking me up. I’m way too used to Korea time now,” you answer smoothly. This is partially true. You’ve been in Korea for nearly three years now, and your body quickly got acclimated to the different time zone.

You keep your unrequited love anguish to yourself.

“Mmhmm,” Kayla hums. She throws open the dressing room door, sporting a pale yellow spaghetti strap dress.

“Yep. And no on the dress. That color does you no justice whatsoever.” Waving her back into the room, you glance at your phone, not missing the huff she lets out.

“Oh, come on, Y/n! Give me something. I’ll accept mere crumbs even! You don’t have to tell me how big his dick is or anything. Just tell me he’s at least making you cum more than once!” Her loud tone echoes off her dressing room walls and catches the attention of an older woman walking by. She gives you a dirty look which you return with just as much malice, and she picks up the pace and leaves the area.

“Keep it down, okay? But, yes, he does.” Or rather you wish, but again, this is something you think and not vocalize.

“Thank you. If you told me he wasn’t doing it for you, I would’ve lost it. Remember that guy you tried to hook up with at that one party who couldn’t even stay hard and-”

“Anyways, any more questions?!” you interrupt, not wanting to revisit that chapter of your life.

“Yes,” Kayla starts as she steps out to showcase the next dress: a flowy black, strapless number. “Tell me more about him! I know the bare minimum from you talking about him when you were just friends, and I know last night you told everyone how you got together, but what’s he like? What do you like about him so much?”

“First of all, put that dress in the maybe pile. I know you have one more, but this is a strong contender.” You wait for your sister to disappear back into the dressing room and sit back in your chair. “What do I like about him? Well, he has an amazing sense of humor. He’s one of the funniest people I know, other than Seokjin, who you’ve also virtually met, but Jungkook always knows how to make me laugh no matter what. Last year, in our public speaking course, he made this joke while this girl was presenting, and I laughed so hard we got kicked out of class, but I was still laughing in the hall, so much that I got lightheaded and fainted.” You chuckle at the memory and remember waking up in Jungkook’s arms while he ran for his life to the infirmary with you.

“He’s also extremely supportive. I think it’s because he’s so hardworking and passionate about what he loves himself, which is also admirable. Still, because of that, he’ll back you on anything that he knows you care about. The number of times he’s let me ramble to him about Animal Crossing, even though he doesn’t play, is truly a blessing. He’s also crazy considerate and will literally give his all for people he loves. Oh, and the way he remembers things that I’ve mentioned to him maybe one time a year ago is beyond sweet.

“Also, did you know he can sing? The boy has the voice of a literal angel. Oh! And did I tell you he wrote me a short song for my birthday last year? I sobbed like a fucking baby. He kept saying it wasn’t much because it was only a chorus and a verse, but he’s also weirdly modest for someone who’s so perfect at everything, which he is, and he knows it but he isn’t a cocky asshole about it, you know?”

You didn’t realize you’d gone on a tangent until your sister’s knowing smile is staring straight at you. When had she even come out in a new dress?

“So, what you’re saying is, you're so utterly in love with Jungkook?” She chuckles, admiring herself in the nearest mirror.

“I-fuck, I love him so much.” Your friends know how you feel about Jungkook, but being able to say it all to someone else makes you feel lighter somehow. You let out a long sigh of relief at finally being able to say out loud the reasons you’re in love with your best friend.

“Well, I’m glad you’re in love and that you’re happy. Now, yes or no to the dress?” She gestures to the knee-length, red wrap dress she’s currently wearing, and you flash her a thumbs up, genuinely loving this dress the most. “Perfect! Let me go buy this, then we can get lunch, and you can listen to me complain about my lack of any sort of love life!” Kayla smirks at you before disappearing to change back into her clothes.

Your mind immediately goes back to Jungkook and stays on him through the rest of the day. Even when you’re on the way back home, he’s all that fills your mind. When you see him standing outside next to your brother as he works on his car, handing him tools as they laugh about something, your heart swells even more than you think it can.

Maybe, just maybe, you’d tell him how you feel soon. The brilliant smile he gives you when you get out of the car and walk over to him has you hoping that you’d get a similar one if you ever confess your feelings.

That night is spent similar to the one before. Your family arrives soon after you and your sister get back, and you help your mom cook dinner again. She even has Jungkook help, which he makes no fuss about as he chops and preps what she directs him to.

It’s after dinner, while you’re all crammed in the living room, again barely watching a movie, that the doorbell rings.

“Got it!” your brother calls as he hops up from his spot on the floor. Curious as to who it is, you watch from across the room as he opens the door and breaks into a smile. “Hey, man! Long time no see!” Ray’s outburst has everyone turning to look, and your heart nearly stops beating as Ray tugs your ex-boyfriend into the house.

“Hey, Namjoon is here!” Ray announces as he gives the room a wave. Your mom, sister, and cousin Nikki are up next, rushing over to hug Namjoon, followed by a few of your cousins that know him pretty well too.

Your mom leads Namjoon over to everyone else and introduces him as a refresher. When his eyes land on yours, your skin heats up under his gaze, and you want more than anything to bolt out of the room.

“And this is Y/n’s boyfriend, Jungkook. Jungkook, Namjoon’s family, has been our next-door neighbors since they were both babies. He and Y/n were attached at the hip the entire time they were growing up, and they even dated in high school.” She gives Namjoon a fond look as she continues, this time directing her comments at him and ignoring the way you choke on your drink at her words. “Jungkook and Y/n met while she’s been away at school. He’s Korean too,” your mom supplies as both men study one another. Namjoon makes a move to shake Jungkook’s hand, but the younger man doesn’t reciprocate and simply gives him a half-hearted wave.

There’s a beat of silence from the adults in the room as an uncomfortable aura takes over. Wanting out of the situation, you shoot up from the couch and beeline for the kitchen without another word. Behind you, the conversation slowly picks back up, and you do your best to tune it out.

It’s been nearly four years since you’ve seen Namjoon, and the sight of him has you in a tailspin. The last time the two of you spoke was when he broke up with you over Skype while he was away at college on the West Coast and you were about to graduate high school.

Namjoon always finished at the top of his classes the entire time you’ve known him, so the fact that he graduated early, a year before you, wasn’t surprising. It put a strain on your relationship with him, though, as long-distance wasn’t easy. The two of you had been dating since your freshman year of high school, and he was your first everything. Your first love, your first actual date, and the first person you’d ever slept with. Both his parents and your mom just knew that you’d get married and live happily ever after.

You were under the impression that it would be the case, too, until he threw a wrench in the plans you were building together. You were going to leave the East Coast and move to California to go to a nearby school so that you could be together once more, but all it took was a video call, a few months before your high school graduation, for him to tell you that he’s realized how hard medical school is. He couldn’t balance a relationship on top of it and suggested you not come and just apply to wherever you want to go.

The heartbreak of your first love hurt just as much as most songs say it does. You were a mess after the breakup, shutting yourself off from friends and losing interest in doing anything other than sitting in your room and lamenting over what you and Namjoon were. He, of course, had given you the classic “let’s be friends,” but aside from Instagram and being friends with his parents on Facebook, you more or less stopped talking to and about Kim Namjoon.

If people asked, you told them that you went to school in South Korea because you wanted a change—a fresh start—which was true, but you really wanted to get away and escape to a place where people didn’t know you as Namjoon’s ex-girlfriend, but as your own person.

You’ve grown and healed from your heartbreak and have gotten over it. For the most part, at least, because upon seeing him just now, just as tall, tan, and gorgeous as he’s always been, leaves you feeling a flurry of different things.

“Hey,” Jungkook’s sudden voice from behind you has you nearly jumping out of your skin at the kitchen sink. You’d gotten so lost in your memories that you didn’t realize you were standing motionless for as long as you have been.

“Hey! Sorry, I got distracted.”

“Are you okay? You seem off.” He looks concerned as he studies your face, making you more nervous.

“I’m okay. I’m just tired. I’m going to go shower and go to bed.”

Jungkook nods, “I’ll come with you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do-” Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to protest as he heads back towards the living room.

“Y/n and I are gonna call it a night,” he calls out to your family. You wave off various shouts of protest, telling everyone you’ll see them tomorrow.

Ignoring the almond-shaped brown eyes that you feel watching your every move, you walk as quickly as your legs will take you up the stairs and into your room. Jungkook follows behind, not saying anything as you grab your pajamas from your suitcase and declare that you’re off to take a shower. You needed to be alone as soon as possible to arrange your frantic thoughts.

Jungkook nods and watches you go, saying he’ll shower after you. As soon as he hears the water running, he digs his phone from his pocket and calls Seokjin.

“Hello?” he answers on the 3rd ring.

“Did you know her ex would be here?”

“Jungkook? What are you talking about?”

“Y/n’s ex-boyfriend is here. He’s a family friend, and they dated all through high school, and now he’s here, and he’ll be at the wedding.”

“Oh wow. Are you worried about him? Like, do you think he’ll try and get back together with her or something?”

“Fuck, I don’t know! He came in, and he said hi to everyone, but he looked straight at her. Even when he said hi to me he was only looking at her.”

“And Y/n? How’d she react?”

Jungkook frowns, recalling how scared you looked when you saw Namjoon. “Bad. She bolted out of the room, and then we came upstairs to get ready for bed.”

“Hmm,” Seokjin hums, “sounds like she isn’t too thrilled to see him. That could be a good sign. If she isn’t looking forward to seeing him, then it doesn’t sound like you have too much to worry about.”

“I guess,” the younger man mumbles, “but I don’t trust him. I can’t let him be alone with her.” Jungkook paces as he talks, doing his best not to yell his frustrations too loudly the more he thinks about Namjoon and the possibility of him trying to win you back.

“Well, if you would just tell her you’re in love with her, then this wouldn’t be an issue, now would it?” Seokjin says, sounding exasperated. To be fair, he has reason to. All of their friends know how in love Jungkook is with you, but being his roommate, Seokjin has had to hear it the most.

“Hyung...”

“Yeah, yeah. She’ll never love you back and all that shit. All I know is that Jimin, Tae, Sana, and I have a bet going on whether or not you two will get together during this trip. Don’t make me lose money. I have a shopping list I need to go through.”

Jungkook sucks his teeth in response. “Alright, I’m hanging up,” Seokjin calls out a goodbye as Jungkook ends the call. He tosses his phone aside and flops onto the bed.

When he agreed to be your fake boyfriend for this trip, he initially didn’t want to, not being confident in himself that he wouldn’t blow his cover, but then he told himself it wouldn’t be so bad.

He was wrong.

Seeing you so comfortable and happy with your family these last two days only makes him ache for you even more. The glow that you have just from talking to your sister or playing with your cousins is one he’s never seen before, and seeing you genuinely happy, quickly becomes his favorite sight. The way your eyes sparkle and the musical laughter that comes out of your mouth only serves to make Jungkook fall harder and faster.

Knowing there’s someone else here that you have a history with makes him more anxious than he’s ever been. Back at school, Jungkook only had to fend off a few guys a handful of times. Most people on campus saw how you and Jungkook were practically inseparable, which tended to ward away potential suitors. This is different. This is someone who hasn’t seen you and Jungkook together, and most likely won’t be intimidated by your relationship. This guy knows you in a different way than Jungkook does—has experienced being with you in a different way than Jungkook.

This fucking sucks. He’s going to have to do a better job of making it clear that you’re together, even if you aren’t together, together.

At some point, he gets lost in his thoughts because he doesn’t even hear you come into the room.

“Jungkook?” He jumps at your voice and sits up so fast that he gets a little dizzy. “You okay?”

As his eyes focus, he watches you toss your clothes from the day into the hamper by your door. His eyes immediately lock onto your notably short sleep shorts, admiring how soft your legs look.

He gulps when you bend over to dig through your suitcase, and the tiniest bit of your asscheeks peek out from said shorts.

“I’m going to go shower now!” He almost yells as he trips over his own feet to leave the room. You watch him go, not thinking much of it since you’ve been wrapped up in your head since you got into the shower.

Once you’re ready for bed, you climb under the sheets before Jungkook and check your phone to see you’ve missed a few text messages from your sister.

Kayla: Hey, you ok? I saw your face when Namjoon walked in

Of course, if anyone is going to notice your reaction, it’s your sister.

Y/n: Idk. I didn’t think I’d just see him suddenly, you know?

She replies almost instantly.

Kayla: I know. I didn’t even know Nikki invited him. He told everyone he initially wasn’t going to be here until tomorrow but he wanted to come earlier to surprise his parents apparently

Y/n: Well I wish he hadn’t come at all. Now my head’s all fucked up

Kayla: Just focus on Jungkook. I know exes can be messy but remember your boyfriend

You let out a cynical laugh and barely even flinch when your phone falls on your face. It would be much easier to remember your boyfriend if you actually had one.

Surprisingly, you fall asleep soon after that text exchange, waking back up when Jungkook gets into bed. You peek an eye open and watch as he ruffles his towel-dried hair and turns off the lamp on the nightstand before lying down. He smells like his favorite soap that he packed for the trip, and your earlier stress melts away as you take in the familiar scent.

Feeling more at ease, you begin to drift off again until the feeling of Jungkook shifting and tossing an arm around your waist has you jolting. His breathing is even, and he makes no other movements or sounds. Did he fall asleep that fast? You know he can fall asleep quicker than anyone in your friend group, but it was barely ten minutes since he laid down.

Whether or not he’s asleep, you decide not to question it. You’d give more than anything to have Jungkook hold you the way he is right now, so you close your eyes and drift off back to sleep, enjoying the weight of his arm on your body.

Waking up with Jungkook’s arms still securely around you is in no way the worst way to be. You stay in this position as long as you can, but eventually, he pulls himself away and drowsily stumbles out of the room. As you’re listening to him shuffle down the hall and into the bathroom, Ray pops his head into the room.

“Hey, morning. You and Jungkook should get ready soon. Mom invited the Kims over for breakfast, and they should be over in an hour or so.” He flashes you a sympathetic look at the groan that comes out. “I know, I’m sorry. I tried to nicely hint that she shouldn’t, but you know how mom gets.”

“Yeah, believe me, I know.” You grumble from under the blanket you pulled over your head.

“Kayla and I will do our best to deflect any awkward questions or topics that come up.”

“Y’all are the best.”

“I know!” your brother calls, already halfway down the hall.

Jungkook comes back from the bathroom soon after, toothbrush in hand. His hair is still ruffled from sleep, and his eyes still look a little droopy. The way your heart races at the sight of him in the morning is all you need to know about your still very relevant crush on him.

When you tell him about the company you’re having over, you see a visible frown etch itself onto his face. He nods but doesn’t say anything and instead moves to his suitcase to get his clothes.

The two of you get ready for the day in silence, though you barely make note as to why Jungkook may be silent, as all you can think about is being so close to Namjoon again and talking to him after literally years.

As fate would have it, you’re the one that has to answer the door for Namjoon and his parents when they show up. With your mom monitoring the hot stove, your brother at the store for more juice, and Kayla in the bathroom, that just leaves you while Jungkook sets the table.

“Y/n! Oh my goodness, look at you!” Namjoon’s mom sweeps you up into her arms first, cooing in your ear about how good it is to see you after so long.

“It’s great to see you too, Mrs. Kim.” You can’t help but smile back at her. Your feelings and romantic history with Namjoon aside, his parents, his mom especially, have always been nothing but sweet and supportive, and you are genuinely happy to see them again.

When she finally lets you go, Mr. Kim pulls you into a much quicker, but still affectionate hug. Namjoon attempts to reach for you next, but you expertly evade his incoming embrace, and once his parents slip their shoes off, you follow them to the kitchen where your mom is calling out a greeting.

You take the empty seat between Jungkook and Kayla, fixing your attention on the food in front of you as everyone takes their seats. Ray and your mom are on either end of the table while the Kims sit across from you. Predictably, Namjoon sits between his parents so that he’s directly in front of you.

As waffles and scrambled eggs are passed around, your mom asks the Kims about their most recent vacation to Malta that they just returned from. During a story about Mrs. Kim and a stray cat outside of their hotel, you feel a socked foot give your calf a tap. Glancing up, your eyes meet Namjoon’s, and he smiles at you, small enough that no one notices, but enough that you see the way his dimples pop into his cheeks.

He gets a frown in response from you, but you do find yourself biting your lip to stop any traces of a smile. He can’t just waltz in here, looking as handsome as he always has, and expect you to just play nice with him. Seeing how your last real conversation was him breaking up with you, you couldn’t just pick up as best friend’s after he broke your heart.

“Y/n?” You look up suddenly and make eye contact with Mrs. Kim, who’s looking at you expectantly.

“I’m sorry?”

“I asked how you and Jungkook met.”

“Oh. I met him through our mutual friend Jimin. Jungkook transferred to our college halfway through his first year and shared a class with Jimin, who I had become friends with pretty much on the first day of school.”

“Aw, how sweet. Did you begin dating right away?” She prods. Everyone else had some form of interest in hearing your story, including Namjoon, who was staring at you, almost unblinking.

“Uh, no. We only started dating three months ago. We were friends until then.”

“How cute! Namjoon’s father and I were friends before we began dating too. Now look at us,” she sighs wistfully, giving her husband a loving look over Namjoon’s head which he returns.

“Well, you know, only about 28% of college students end up marrying their significant other after graduation.” Namjoon shrugs focused on cutting into his pancakes. “Not everyone is so lucky.”

“Oh, stop it, Joon!” His mom chastises with a smack on his arm.

“I’m just being realistic, I mean when you think about it-”

“Hey, mom! Why don’t you tell the Kims about the caterer for the wedding?” Kayla cut in, stopping Namjoon in his tracks and allowing your mom to chime in happily.

You whisper a thank you under your breath to your sister, who nods in return. When your eyes meet Namjoon’s across the table, he’s wearing an unreadable expression and continues to do so for the remainder of the morning.

Throughout breakfast, very few questions about you and your relationship with Jungkook are asked. Any that do come up, Kayla and Ray do their best to ward them off, including any other comments Namjoon could make. You barely remember any of the stories that get swapped due to how preoccupied your thoughts are.

At the end of breakfast, you quickly volunteer to clean up and carry as many plates as your hands can take to the kitchen.

You’re in the middle of rinsing them and loading the dishwasher when Namjoon comes in, startling you.

“Sorry. Came to bring you the rest of the dishes.” You wordlessly take the plates and cups as he hands them to you, trying to do your best and ignore the palpable feeling in the room. Namjoon’s presence unnerves you as you finish and when you turn around after starting the dishwasher, he’s still there leaning against the counter.

“Um, did you need something?” The kitchen feels so much smaller with how close he’s standing to you.

“Y/n, I think we should talk.”

“About what?”

“About the fact that we haven’t spoken to each other in so long.”

You go from nervous to annoyed in no time at his words. “And whose fault is that? You’re the one who dumped me, remember?”

“Yeah, and I shouldn’t have done that, but we agreed we’d stay friends.”

“We did, but it’s kind of hard to do that, when the man you loved rips your heart out, and just the idea of him causes you pain.” You hate the way your voice cracks at the end of your sentence. The last thing you want is to cry in front of him over your past relationship.

“Y/n, I’m truly, really sorry. But you weren’t the only one who was hurt. It wasn’t exactly easy to just end things the way I did.”

“Well, you could’ve fooled me. You dumped me in less than five minutes!” Tears are now brimming in your eyes, and you know he sees it.

“Y/n, please.” He reaches for your arm, and you snatch it away.

“I don’t need you to comfort me.”

“Yeah, your little boyfriend will do that for you, huh?” The attitude in his voice only serves to make you angrier.

“You know what? You have no right to be mad that I’m with someone right now, and I don’t need to stand here and talk to you.” Before you can leave, Namjoon’s hand wraps around your wrist to keep you.

“Wait, I-”

“Y/n?” Jungkook appears in the doorway, eyes locked to Namjoon touching you. “You okay?”

“Yes, but I’m going upstairs to lay down. I’m still tired.” Namjoon doesn’t put up a fight when you yank out of his grasp again and stomp out of the room. You say your goodbyes to the Kims, telling them that you don’t feel well, and they immediately fuss over you, saying they’ll bring you soup later and to get some rest.

After your mom says she’ll bring you some ginger ale soon, you’re ascending the stairs with Jungkook trailing behind, who commented that he’d make sure you lay down and rest.

You barely make it into the room before the tears that you’ve been holding back since you saw Namjoon spill. Jungkook closes the bedroom door and crosses the room instantly to scoop you into his arms.

He stands there holding you, letting you cry on his shirt for as long as you need. The sound of your muffled cries in the fabric of his shirt is all that’s heard. Once you’re only sniffling and wiping your tears with your hands, Jungkook leads you to the bed to sit down with you. He waits until the room is completely silent before he asks anything.

“So, are you going to tell me about him?” You already know that the ‘him’ he’s referring to is Namjoon. You’ve admittedly never told your friends about him because you really just wanted to forget. It was something you hoped you’d never have to bring up if you could help it. In retrospect, this was a foolish thing to think, and that was obvious now.

You let out a loud sigh and finally decide to be honest.

“Like my mom said yesterday, we’ve been friends since we were single-digit aged. We grew up together, and in my freshman year of high school, he asked me out, and I said yes. We dated all through high school until the year that I was graduating. He graduated a year before me because he’s basically a genius and went to Stanford for medical school because he didn’t want to stay on the East Coast.

“The plan was for me to follow him to California and go to school near him, but he decided to break up with me over Skype when I was months away from graduating. He said medical school was hard enough, and he couldn’t handle maintaining a relationship at the same time. He claimed he wanted to do it earlier than when he did, but he couldn’t talk himself into doing it until it was last minute. From there, we just stopped talking all the time except the occasional holiday or birthday text, and then we stopped talking altogether, and I ran away to South Korea, and here we are.”

Jungkook pulls you into another hug halfway through your story because you started to cry again. He hates seeing you like this; sad, defeated, and still so clearly in pain. Listening to you cry is breaking his heart alone, and he wants more than anything to make it go away. He doesn’t know how to help you, but if it starts with holding you as tight as he can, he will.

The rest of the morning and afternoon is spent with you and Jungkook lying in bed, talking more than you have since you’ve been friends. You tell him more about your family and who you were when you grew up in this house. You talk about him and growing up in Busan, and he says how badly he wants to take you to his hometown (which you will be doing during the next break, according to him).

At some point, your mom comes to check on the two of you and tells you dinner is ready, but she lets you eat dinner in your room, sensing you and Jungkook are having time to yourselves. When you go to bed that night, Jungkook lies closer to you and neither of you mind very much.

The day may have started as something you were dreading, but now the only thing you feel is the immense love you have for Jungkook.

Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook feels the same way as he lays behind you, relishing this time with you and pretending that you feel the same as he does.

The rest of the week goes by in a blur after that. While you’re not directly in the wedding party, you love your cousin, so you’re willing to help your mom and aunts prepare for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself. You spend the week making phone calls to the photographer and the videographer and making sure the cake will be ready for pick up the morning of. Jungkook stays busy too, helping your brother and a few of your cousins make sure all of the tables and chairs are probably set up in the backyard.

Even though you’re on the trip together, you and Jungkook barely get to socialize as much as you’d like after that day spent in your room, given how quickly the days pass and how busy you find yourselves. Luckily, this also means that you don’t have to see much of Namjoon, but that doesn’t stop him from texting you nearly every day.

At first, he apologized for making you feel uncomfortable at breakfast the other morning. Then he began to ask questions about what you’re doing during the day, if you’ve seen any good movies lately, what your favorite classes are, and asking you to share some songs you’ve been listening to recently. The conversation stays very surface level, and it's clear he’s trying to re-establish some semblance of a relationship, but you’re not sure how you feel about it. Just last week, you had given Namjoon no thoughts, but now you’re thinking about him more than you have in years.

By the time the rehearsal dinner rolls around, you feel both emotionally and physically exhausted and can’t wait for tomorrow, when the wedding will finally be here. You’ll be glad to see your cousin get married to the love of her life, but between your current feelings for Jungkook and your dormant feelings for Namjoon, you feel as though you’ve been through hell and back.

The backyard is set up in anticipation for tomorrow, with a few round tables positioned on either side of the yard and a clear path in between that leads to the large tree in your yard where the ceremony itself would take place.

You’re sitting at the same table as your mom, grandma, siblings, and Jungkook. Namjoon and his parents are at the table directly behind you, close enough that Namjoon simply needs to turn in his chair to talk face-to-face with you. During dinner, conversation among everyone is light, and you even put up with Namjoon asking you questions about school and some of your other friends back in Korea. Admittedly, you’ve had a few glasses of champagne to deal with the emotions swirling in your mind, and they’re catching up with you the more the night goes on.

While various family members offer toasts to your cousin, you’ve had at least three more drinks, and you’re feeling a heavy buzz settle over you. At some point, Namjoon turns his chair all the way around and is reminiscing about your high school days with you. It feels nice to talk to him freely once again and share jokes and stories that only the two of you know. Of course, you do have alcohol swimming through your veins, so you can’t say it’s just because you’re finally able to be completely comfortable with him again.

When your aunt brings out cupcakes for dessert, you’re on what you know should be your last glass of champagne. You’re so wrapped in laughing at everything Namjoon says and letting him occupy your attention, that you don’t even notice the way Jungkook is frowning from next to you.

He himself has been throwing back drink after drink since Namjoon first decided to strike up a conversation with you. He noticed that you started drinking as soon as you all sat down at the table at the start of dinner tonight and lost count of how many he saw you down.

Instead of stopping you as he should’ve, he wallowed in silent self-pity next to you while Namjoon got closer and closer to you and did his damndest to ice Jungkook out of the conversation, even though you attempted to include him when you could.

Jungkook isn’t sure how many drinks he had, but he was sober enough to notate every time Namjoon’s hand brushed against your knee or grazed your exposed shoulders. When Jungkook saw you come out of your bedroom in the form-fitting sundress that hugged your body, he could barely keep his eyes off you, but now, knowing another man other than him was enjoying seeing so much of your shape, it made him want to shield you and hide you away back inside the house.

You, on the other hand, think nothing of the subtle touches from Namjoon. It seems almost natural when his hand rests on your thigh or your hand.

“So,” Namjoon says, loud enough for Jungkook to hear from beside you. “How long have you been with him again?” He jerks his head in Jungkook’s direction, and it takes a few seconds for your mind to catch up.

“Nearly four months?” Your response comes out as more of a question than a definitive answer.

“Yeah,” Jungkook backs you up, listening intently.

“That’s a pretty young relationship. That would explain why you don’t seem very couple-y.”

“What?” Jungkook hisses, sitting up straighter in his chair and ignoring how the bistro lights above him spin.

“I’m just saying, the handful of times I’ve seen you two interact, you don’t hold hands or hug or anything. It’s a little weird.” Namjoon shrugs.

“Maybe we don’t like PDA,” Jungkook supplies through gritted teeth. You nod in agreement.

“Really? That’s funny. When Y/n and I were together, she was all about PDA.” Your former boyfriend sends you a wink that has heat creeping up the back of your neck.

“Joon, we were teenagers.” Your eyes dart to Jungkook, who’s frowning deeper than you think you’ve ever seen him.

“Yeah, but still. You could barely keep your hands off me, not that I’m complaining. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it.” Your eyes are transfixed on his plush lips as he speaks, and he must know because you watch as his tongue swipes slowly across his bottom lip.

Jungkook scoffs and takes a deep breath before grabbing your shoulders and turns you towards him from beside you.

“Jungkoo—” Your sentence is cut off by Jungkook’s lips smashing against yours.

Your eyes slip shut as you very quickly give into the kiss. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for since you first came to terms with the fact that you were head over heels in love with your best friend.

As if the kiss is written into a cheesy romantic comedy, everyone around you melts away. The voices of your family become dull and nondescript as the lights above your head become fuzzy. You know this isn’t the alcohol making you feel like this; this is what it feels like to kiss the man you’ve been aching for all this time. Your eyes start to mist at some point, but that’s also when he pulls away.

You gasp for breath, eyes still glazed over and fixed on Jungkook. His cheeks are flush, and he’s staring right back at you.

Namjoon lets out a scoff and excuses himself. Jungkook breaks your gaze to watch the older man go, a chuckle leaving his lips.

“Serves him right,” he murmurs.

Logically, you know Jungkook only kissed you the way he did to prove Namjoon wrong. It was to make your fake relationship appear genuine, and it seems to have worked, but all you can think about is his lips.

It’s why you lean forward again, catching him off guard with another kiss, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, his large hands grasp your hips, drawing you closer to him. Your own hands are reaching up, intending to grip his brunette locks, but before you can get there, Kayla’s voice has you snap out of it.

“Ay, y’all are drunk, which I get, but take this upstairs, please. There are children, you know!” Sheepishly, you meet her eyes, along with the looks from a few other family members at neighboring tables.

“Sorry,” you and Jungkook say together, turning back to the table, both of you down the glasses of water next to your empty dessert plates.

Your visiting family members only stay for an hour or so longer, calling it an early night to get as well-rested as they can for the big morning. You and Jungkook offer to help clean up, but your mom makes your brother and sister take you both upstairs, declaring you both too drunk to be useful.

“We helped you upstairs, but we’re not helping with anything else. Figure it out yourselves.” Kayla says as she dumps you onto your bed. She and Ray both leave you bottles of water before leaving you alone. You and Jungkook are lying next to each other, still fully clothed with only the lamp on your side of the bed turned on.

You’re not as drunk as you were earlier, thanks to the copious amount of water you drank throughout the remainder of the night, but you’re still tingly and can feel a headache trying to creep in. As much as you’d like to get up and change into your pajamas, the desire to lay here and dream about Jungkook’s lips on yours is much stronger.

“Can I tell you something?” Jungkook speaks, making you jump at the sound of his voice.

“Huh? Yeah.”

He doesn’t answer immediately. A few seconds of silence go by before he speaks.

“I liked kissing you.”

“What?” You sit up too fast and instantly regret it, but you’re more focused on wrapping your mind around what you just heard.

“Sorry, was that weird? Did I just make this weird?” Jungkook jolts up too, visibly trying to steady himself.

“No! I, uh, I liked kissing you too.” His espresso-colored eyes crinkle in the corners when he gives you a genuine smile that has his front teeth poking out. The smile is gone as quickly as it appears, his face scrunching in concentration as he zeroes in on your lips.

He’s moving slow, but you know he’s coming towards you, his lips approaching yours again, and you make no move to stop him.

This time the kiss starts fast as he pulls your body close to his. Making up for the missed chance you didn’t get outside, you finally get a good handful of his hair between your fingers, and he groans in response. The gruff sound is felt in the pit of your stomach, shooting straight from there to your core.

You may not be sober, but there is still a voice in the back of your mind screaming at you, telling you that you’re kissing your best friend. Your best friend is running his warm hands over your shoulders and down to the front of your dress. Your best friend’s fingers are scrunching the fabric of your dress until it’s pulled high enough to expose the skin of your thighs.

“J-Jungkook,” you manage to say as his lips move to your neck. Your thoughts waver slightly at the sensation, nearly forgetting what you want to say.

“Hmm?” he questions, teeth now nibbling on the spot he was kissing.

“You’re drunk. Are you—do you know what you’re doing?”

“Of course I do. I want you so bad.” Jungkook pulls back, meeting your eyes. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Yes,” you breathe out.

“Good.” Jungkook helps you stand then, pulling your dress up and completely off of your body, tossing the fabric to the side of the room. His nimble fingers reach around you to unhook your bra, and that’s next to fall aside. You had forgone panties tonight, thinking nothing of it with the dress being so long, so you get to watch as his pupils dilate as they take in your completely naked body.

Feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny, you move you cover yourself, but he reaches out to stop you.

“Don’t hide from me.”

You answer him by leaning forward and kissing him, catching him off guard, and he trips, falling backward onto the bed. This new position doesn’t stop you from crashing your mouths together, savoring the taste of him again. His hands find your breasts, cupping them roughly and pulling on your nipples, which has you dry humping his muscular thighs.

Jungkook doesn’t stay on his back for long and quickly flips you over, his frame hovering over you. Your eyes follow his every move as he unbuttons his shirt, devouring the sight of him. His smooth skin, his built torso, and his tattoos that creep up his arm to his shoulder all have you clenching your thighs.

“Like what you see?” he teases, hands playing with his belt buckle.

“Jungkook, please take the rest of your clothes off.” Jungkook hesitates at your begging tone, only for a second, but recovers soon after and does as you ask. He leaves your body long enough to pull his slacks and boxers down, and you let out an actual whimper at how breathtaking he looks completely bare. His hard cock stands proud, just waiting to fill you up.

“Shh,” he motions behind him to your bedroom door as he repositions himself lower, on his belly between your thighs. “Your family’s outside. You have to be quiet.”

“Sorry, I-oh shit,” Jungkook is only between your thighs for what feels like a millisecond before his wonderful lips latch onto your clit, sucking hard enough to have your back bowing off of the bed.

You’re plenty wet enough for him to slide a finger into you, pumping it in time with his mouth as it moves against you. Your fingers tangle in his hair again as you hold him in place, bucking your hips up softly into his mouth. Soft slurping sounds fill the room as Jungkook eats you out better than anyone ever has. Not that you’ve had too many other partners, but the urgency as to which he moves and the skilled way his second finger slips in and crooks at just the right angle automatically put him at the top of the list.

Jungkook’s fingers move at a faster pace as he works you open, your breath coming out in frantic exhales as you get embarrassingly closer to an orgasm. Both hands find his head, fingers combing through the strands before gripping tight. Jungkook lets out a moan against you, the sound sending tremors through your body, and that’s all you need before you begin to unravel.

“Jungkook, I’m cumming, I’m cumming,” you pant out. The hand that isn’t knuckles deep in you comes up to cover your mouth just in time for you to let out a high-pitched moan. Your body shakes as you cum, squeezing your thighs around Jungkook’s head, and he stays exactly where he is.

You’re still shaking when he pulls his face away and obscenely licks his lips in front of you.

“That was—I mean—you—oh my fuck.” you babble out, mind still reeling from the feeling of his lips.

“If you thought that was good, I’ve got something else for you.” Jungkook motions to his cock, hard and red, and you open your legs impossibly wider. He scooches himself up, lining up with your wet lips. “Oh, I don’t have a condom if you—”

“Fuck a condom, I need you in me now, Jungkook.” His eyes widen momentarily at the commanding tone in your voice, but he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he enters you in one slow motion, the two of you moaning in unison once he’s buried to the hilt.

“Holy shit, Y/n. You feel so fucking good.” He closes his eyes, taking a few deep breaths at the sensation of you. He knew you’d feel amazing if the day ever came to be with you like this, but he didn’t expect to be so eager to burst at the first feeling of your silken walls around him.

“Please move. Please,” you beg. Jungkook counts to three in his head before beginning to rock his hips; the shallow motion alone has you panting. “Faster.” you plead through gritted teeth as you attempt to move your hips quicker.

As much as he doesn’t want to cum quickly, your desperation spurs him on, firmly grasping your hips and sitting up for better leverage. His eyes drink in the sight of you with your flushed, damp skin and needy pout. Your bottom lip is between your lips, and your hands desperately grab for any part of him that you can reach. This alone is all Jungkook needs to start thrusting into you faster; quick nut be damned.

You do your best not to make too much noise, but the way that Jungkook’s cock is stretching you out makes it difficult. You’re aware of how the bed begins to shake with the force of his thrusts, but you don’t care. He leans down while his hips are working to attach his lips to your neck, nibbling and biting at the skin which has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“So good, so good,” Jungkook chants into your moist skin, hands clutching your soft thighs.

“Fuck, don’t stop,” you whine. Your hands move up to clutch his shoulders, your nails digging into the thick skin there, but he doesn’t feel it. All Jungkook feels is you, and all Jungkook thinks about is you.

“Y/n,  I’m going to cum. I can’t hold it.” He’s panting as his thrusts become frantic, his hand fumbling to find your clit between your sweaty bodies.

The way in which you squeal lets him know he’s found the hard bud as he begins rubbing in rough circles. Your breathing becomes more erratic as you feel tears prick the back of your eyes at the pleasure.

“M-me too. I’m cumming. Jungkook!” Your body shakes violently as your second orgasm hits you and your mouth opens in a silent scream. Your cunt squeezing him impossibly tighter is what causes Jungkook to unravel as he cums right after you, his hot seed filling you, quickly dripping out around him.

The only sound in the room for a few seconds is of the two of you breathing heavily. Jungkook’s cock begins to soften, so he slowly pulls out, both of you hissing at the sensation. Your thighs are sticky with cum, and the rest of your body is covered in sweat, but be it the alcohol or the post-orgasm bliss, you don’t care at all. You feel better than you have this entire trip, and when you glance over at Jungkook, he’s on his back, a goofy smile on his face.

“Wow,” you say to him, and he looks over to meet your eyes.

“Yeah. Wow,” he breathes, echoing your sentiments.

You giggle, which is quickly followed by a yawn, the alcohol still swirling in your veins and making you feel both giddy and spent. Seeing your exhaustion, Jungkook reaches over the side of the bed and hands you his button-up shirt to clean up with.

You wipe yourself with as much energy as you can muster before flopping onto your side, facing Jungkook. He turns as well, the two of you facing each other with drunken smiles. Just as your eyes close, you feel Jungkook’s lips place a quick kiss on the tip of your nose, and that familiar tug on your heart that he causes is back and is all you think about as you fall asleep, Jungkook following immediately after.

“Hello! Get your asses up, lovebirds!” Kayla’s voice jolts you out of your sleep. When you sit up, feeling groggy from the night before, you see your sister’s head poking in your bedroom.

“What?” You reach for your phone on the side table to glance at the time. “Oh fuck!” The wedding starts in three hours, and you’re not ready in the slightest.

“Yep. You’re lucky Nikki and Diana are late too! Their car got a flat, so they’re waiting on AAA.  Get moving!” When she leaves the room, Jungkook stirs next to you. When he moves to stretch his arms above his head, the quilt covering him shifts down, and the sight of his bare chest reminds you very quickly of the night before.

You fucked Jungkook.

You and your best friend that you are in love with got drunk and had sex.

“What time is it?” Jungkook grumbles, fingers ruffling his messy hair. You’re reminded of just how soft the strands felt in your hand as he ate you out.

“We’re late. We need to get ready now.” You say in a rush as you climb out of bed. The cool air of your bedroom serves as a reminder that you’re completely naked. You catch Jungkook’s eyes as he turns towards you and watch how the brown orbs widen as he scans your body in the daylight.

Grabbing your pillow, you cover yourself and shuffle backward to your suitcase. “I’m going to go shower in my mom’s room. You can take the main shower.” Jungkook clamors out of bed with his pillow covering his crotch.

“Y-yeah, okay.” When he’s turned to his suitcase, you do the same, pillow now covering your ass while you search for your robe. Once it’s on and cinched tight, you grab your underwear and dart out of the bedroom without another word.

Your mom is in her room when you enter, coming out of her closet with the dress she’ll be wearing.

“Hey, morning, baby. You’re late!”

“I know. I’m showering in your bathroom.”

Your mom hums in response but thankfully doesn’t try to continue a conversation as she continues getting ready. You already know the rest of the day will be difficult, as you keep replaying last night with Jungkook. Still, you do your best to remind yourself that today is about your cousin and her special day and not your drunken decisions that could very well lead to the destruction of your friendship.

Luckily, once you’re out of the shower, your sister barges in to start on your hair and makeup together which helps distract you. It’s easy for you to take your mind off last night between her and your other cousins, who arrive shortly after, followed by Nikki and Diana.

On the other side of the house, Jungkook is in a similar situation. He spends his entire shower cursing himself for not being able to keep it in his pants last night. He was drunk, but he still knew what was going on. He knew he was having sex with you and what this could mean for the two of you, but he did it anyway. His biggest fear that he’d somehow fuck up your friendship due to his feelings for you was coming true as far as he’s concerned.

He was thankful that your brother had come to find him when he was out of the shower and dressed to help make sure everything in the backyard is up to par for the wedding. He busies himself, helping to rearrange tables and placing decorations where they should be.

In between saying hello to the rest of your family as they pile into the house and finishing getting ready, he sends a text to the group chat of Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jimin.

Jungkook: In case anyone is wondering, I’m a fucking dumbass

Jimin: Silly Jungkookie, we knew that already

Seokjin: *pretends to be surprised*

Taehyung: What’d you do this time

Jungkook: Y/n and I had sex last night

Jimin: WHAT

Seokjin: WHAT

Taehyung: WHAT

Jungkook: I don’t have a lot of time but long story short we got drunk and fucked last night

Jimin: Wow

Seokjin: You bastards owe me ₩22000!

Taehyung: No! You said you bet they’d get together by the end of the trip. It’s not the end

Seokjin: End of the trip, almost the end, same shit. PAY ME

Jungkook: We’re not together

Jimin: WHAT

Seokjin: WHAT

Taehyung: WHAT

Jungkook: We fucked, fell asleep, now we’re getting ready for the wedding. We didn’t talk about it all. She covered herself and ran out to get ready. I screwed up

Taehyung: Why do you think that? Maybe she was just nervous

Jimin: Yeah I mean it’s a lot you know. Like surprise I fucked my best friend

Jungkook: Idk like I said we were both drunk and horny so it just happened. She’s probably scared that I thought it was something other than a hookup

Seokjin: C’mon JK, do you really think Y/n is like that?

Jungkook: Hyung idk ok. It wasn’t a great post-hookup reaction

Taehyung: Talk to her after the wedding. You can’t just leave it

Jungkook: We’ll see

Jimin: Jungkook! Talk to her!

Jungkook: Gotta go. Everyone is about to go take their seats

Seokjin: Jungkook come on

“Hey.” The sound of your voice on the other side of your bedroom door has Jungkook quickly tucking his phone away. You step into the room when he calls back a hey in response, and Jungkook feels himself sputter. He had seen the dress you’d be wearing before you left school, but seeing it on you is entirely different.

The strapless light pink dress hugs your form better than anything Jungkook has ever seen on you. The fabric looks as soft as he knows your skin is and stops a few inches above your knees, giving him a fantastic view of your legs. Your hair is styled, your makeup is done, and Jungkook wants nothing more than to close the gap between the two of you and take you into his arms. The clear gloss you wear has your lips shining under the lights of your bedroom, and he aches to kiss you again, if even only for a few seconds.

“Ready to head downstairs? They’re starting the ceremony soon.” He nods dumbly back at you and follows you down to the backyard. The two of you greet family members you hadn’t seen earlier on the way and take your spot at the table you were seated at last night.

Jungkook’s eyes narrow in Namjoon’s direction, and he receives a smirk in response from the older man. Jungkook wants to smack it right off of his face. He can’t wait for this day to be over so he can potentially never see Kim Namjoon again if he can help it.

You have similar thoughts as you greet Namjoon and his parents, him giving you a soft smile in return. You make a mental note to have a proper conversation with Namjoon before your trip is over. You need to talk about everything that’s happened this week and decide what’s next for the two of you if anything at all. But for now, you push that away as the signaling of the start of the ceremony begins to play.

Everyone watches as your cousin’s two sisters and three brothers in her wedding party make the short trip from the backdoor to the large tree in your backyard. Diana’s wedding party follows after them, and they all join your uncle, who is ordained and will be conducting the marriage.

When the music switches to “Here Comes the Bride,” all eyes are on your cousin as her step-dad walks her down the aisle, followed by Diana and her dad. Your eyes mist over as you watch your cousin, whom you grew up with as if she was your sister, take her spot in front of her wife-to-be as your uncle begins his speech.

You’re not one to cry at romance and weddings, but something about seeing someone so important to you making such a huge life decision has your already fragile emotions even more sensitive. You wipe away a few tears with your napkin and feel Jungkook’s hand slowly tuck into yours, giving you a squeeze. It catches you off guard, and when you glance over at him, his cheeks have a dark red blush dusting his skin. You squeeze his hand in response and a small smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.

The reception starts with everyone sharing hugs and tears, then transitions into the party part as the hired bartender begins mixing drinks. The catering team your family hired begins bringing out food, and the DJ (who is another cousin) starts playing a surprisingly well-put-together playlist.

Intending not to have another incident like last night, you only nurse two drinks and spend most of the afternoon dancing with your sister. Even though it’s evident to you that you and Jungkook still have something uncomfortable hanging between the two of you, your family is none the wiser, and your sister makes him dance with all of you anyway.

You end up enjoying your time and all thoughts of the night before, and your general drama is forgotten until you’re going back outside from a quick bathroom break.

Namjoon is in the kitchen leaning against the fridge by the backdoor, and stops you with a hand on your arm before both feet can step outside.

“Hey, Y/n, can I talk to you?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” You hesitate only for a second, eyes glancing outside. Everyone else is preoccupied, so no one pays attention to you backing up into the house.

“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I miss you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I miss talking to you. This week has shown me just how much we’ve grown apart and how awkward it is with us right now, and I hate it. I want us to be friends again.”

“I guess you should’ve thought about that before you dumped me over Skype, then stopped texting me.” You hadn’t thought before you blurted it out, but it feels good to say it.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have ended things the way that I did. That was shitty of me. And I truly didn’t mean to stop talking to you. School just took over and occupied all my time, and by the time I had room to breathe, it just felt like it was too late to reach out.”

“You didn’t even try, though, Namjoon! All I got at first was obligatory holiday texts, then even that stopped. And yeah, I know, phones work both ways, but for fuck sake, I flew to the other side of the planet to start over and not think about how you literally ripped my heart out. I wasn't really feeling up to just giving you a casual call.” You do your best not to raise your voice, but your emotions are working to quickly get the better of you.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, and I can’t even begin to describe how shitty I felt when I did it; how shitty I still feel! Breaking up with you was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I missed hearing your voice and seeing your face, even over a video. I missed sending you dumb memes and getting good morning and goodnight texts from you. I missed knowing that when I came home, you’d be here to see me.” Namjoon moves closer to you, taking your hands in his. “Please forgive me. I want to get to know you again. I know the romance ship has sailed, and that’s not an option anymore, but can we rebuild our friendship?”

His words are promising and sweet and make you feel warm inside. The idea of having your best friend back nearly makes you sob in relief. You can’t lie and say that underneath the hurt that you don’t miss Namjoon too. You grew up together, and he was your first everything. Those feelings don’t just go away.

“Namjoon-”

“Please? Do you want me to beg? I’ll get down on my knees and beg you, but Y/n, you’re one of the most important people in my life. I can’t let you go back across the world and think I’ve lost you for a second time.”

You sigh, gripping Namjoon’s hands. “Listen, I’m not about to tell you we’ll be best friends again who stay up on FaceTime all night or text all day every day, but we can work on it.” Namjoon smiles at you, relief visibly washing over him. You feel a weight of your own lift off your shoulders. Things won’t be the same as they were, and your friendship will need a lot of work and time, but you have to start somewhere, right?

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. Y/n, you have no idea how-” Namjoon’s sentence is cut off when Jungkook bursts into the kitchen and grabs him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him away from you.

“Leave her the fuck alone!” Jungkook pulls Namjoon outside and shoves him, the older man nearly tripping backward. “I’m sick of watching you hit on Y/n all goddamn week! You’ve been bothering her since you showed up, and it pisses me off!”

Everyone at the wedding stops what they’re doing at this point. The backyard is only so big, so it’s not hard to miss the commotion.

“Jungkook, you don’t need to—” You attempt to diffuse the situation, but Jungkook shakes you off.

“No, Y/n, I’ve tried not to say anything and to be as nice to him as I can since your family is here, but I’m done letting him hit on you when I’m standing right fucking here!” Red in the face and scowling intensely, Jungkook approaches Namjoon, the older man standing up tall to face him.

“Nice?” Namjoon scoffs. “You’ve been shooting daggers at me since I walked through the front door. It’s pretty obvious you don’t like me.”

“Because I don’t! I’m not going to tell you again, leave Y/n alone.” Your entire family is watching the heated exchange now. Your brother and a few of your male cousins step forward, poised to intervene.

“Sounds like you’re feeling insecure, little boy.” You watch Jungkook’s fists clench at Namjoon’s taunting words.

“Joon, please don’t provoke him,” you beg.

Namjoon throws his hands up, shoulders shrugging.

“Hey, I’m just saying. If your little college fling can’t handle you talking to other men, maybe there’s something wrong with him.” Eyes going back to Jungkook, Namjoon lets out a laugh. “If you’re not careful, someone may just come along and steal her from you, little boy.” Namjoon pokes Jungkook in the chest, and it’s almost in slow motion that you watch Jungkook draw his arm back to punch Namjoon directly in the cheek.

The older man stumbles, falling on his ass onto the concrete of the back patio. A beat of silence goes by as no one moves, until all at once, you’re launching yourself forward to grab Jungkook, and your brother and a cousin are rushing over to help Namjoon up.

“Jungkook, let’s go!” You pull him away from the scene, Jungkook staring Namjoon down angrily as Namjoon’s mom rushes over to him. Once you’re both in the living room, away from the rest of the wedding, you shove him onto the couch and glare down at him. “Are you serious right now?! I can’t believe you just did that!”

“He deserved it! He’s been up your ass since he showed up!” Jungkook argues, adrenaline still coursing through him.

“That was so inappropriate! This is my cousin’s wedding, Jungkook!”

“So then he should keep his fucking hands off of you!”

“He wasn’t doing anything today! We were just talking when you barged in like a lunatic!”

“He can talk to you without holding your hand and getting all in your face!”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Jungkook! Fuck, why do you even care!?”

“Because I love you, Y/n!” Jungkook screams, jumping up from the couch.

“What?” You freeze.

“You heard me!” Jungkook runs his fingers through his hair, tugging on the strands in frustration. Now that the rush of the moment has subsided, embarrassment and guilt at what he did make him feel tired. “It’s so exhausting trying to hide it. This trip has been so fucking hard. I have to walk around and kiss you and hold your hand and sleep in the same bed as you, and none of it is real! It sucks, and I feel like shit, and then to have to see some prick who blew his chances with you just show up and be all over you makes me so crazy. I’m sorry to you and your family that I punched him, but I’m not sorry to him.”

“So you’re in love with me.” You blink at him, your mind catching up to process his words.

“That’s literally what I just said.”

“And you were in love with me last night when we had sex?”

“Duh.”

“It wasn’t just the alcohol that made you horny?”

“Hell no. I’d do any and everything to you whether I was sober, drunk, high, tripping on shrooms or otherwise… also that sounded more romantic in my head.” he winces.

“Wow. And so you know I’m in love with you too, right?”

“Come on, you don’t have to just say shit to me to make me feel better.”

“Jungkook, I’m serious. I’ve loved you since what feels like the day we met, and this whole trip has been hell for me too. I spent all day today thinking yesterday meant nothing to you.”

Your best friend steps forward, his hands moving to cradle your face. “Yesterday meant everything to me, and you have no clue how relieved I am right now that you felt the same.” The two of you share a chuckle, any lingering tension now gone.

“So basically, what you’re saying is we aren’t just a ‘fake dating’ au, but we’re also an ‘idiots to lovers’ au. Got it.”

You let out a loud laugh at his words, smiling. Jungkook moves in to kiss you once your laughter subsides, catching you off guard, but you quickly kiss him back, the feeling of his lips on yours washing over you. Your body buzzes the same way it did the night before, and you momentarily forget where you are. You let Jungkook wrap his arms around you and deepen the kiss, the sound of a throat clearing behind you cutting through the atmosphere and stopping anything else from happening.

Kayla is leaning against the doorway, arms folded and a smirk on her face. “So, I won’t tell mom or anyone else that you’ve both been lying to us if you come back outside now. Nikki wants to do the bouquet toss, and Namjoon’s mom wants an apology.”

Jungkook winces from next to you, face flushing at the thought of someone’s mom being mad at him. You take his hand and lead him behind you as you follow Kayla outside. You decide to address the fact that she heard you and Jungkook confess to one another later, and focus on the wedding instead.

Back outside, everyone has gone back to doing their own thing, but you feel them all slyly watching you and Jungkook as you make your way over to Namjoon, who’s sitting next to his mom, holding an ice pack on his cheek. Namjoon catches your eye and waves his mom away before getting up and meeting the two of you halfway.

“So,” Namjoon starts, “to not prolong this and make this any more awkward than it is, Jungkook, I’m sorry for what I said. I was just being petty and wanted to piss you off. I’m not going to steal Y/n from you. I truly just want to rebuild my friendship with her.” He offers Jungkook a slight bow, and surprisingly, Jungkook gives one in return.

“I uh, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I hit you. I overreacted, and it was childish.”

Namjoon shrugs and waves his hand dismissively. “It’s okay. Like I said, I was purposely petty. And besides, I was pretty impressed with the force behind that punch. It knocked me on my ass.” He chuckles, and Jungkook does the same.

It only takes this single exchange to have the tension between both men broken. Both Jungkook and Namjoon go back to their seats while you gather with the rest of the women for the bouquet toss. Glancing over at them, you see them chatting idly. Jungkook of thirty minutes ago would never.

“Okay, everyone ready?!” Nikki calls, bringing your attention back to why you’re gathered behind her and Diana. After counting to three, they toss their matching bouquet of roses over their shoulders. You watch the flowers soar through the sky momentarily as one lands in the hands of one of your aunts. You barely try, but by some bizarre stroke of luck, the second plops right in your barely outstretched hands.

Voices whistling and cheering from around you, flustered,  you speed walk to the table where Jungkook is also getting teased by your family sitting with him. He gives you a sheepish smile but still doesn’t hesitate to take your hand.

The remainder of the wedding continues without any further incident, which you’re thankful for. Jungkook seems much more at ease when holding your hand or giving you the occasional kiss on your cheek or forehead. Kayla spends the rest of the night shooting you knowing glances whenever you look her way, and you already know you won’t be leaving home without giving her all the details.

That doesn’t happen tonight, though. After the wedding is over, and after you say your goodbyes to your family members, Jungkook fucks you better than he did the night before. This time, you can feel how different it is now that you’ve admitted your feelings for one another. Each thrust of his hips is punctuated with a soft ‘I love you,’ and this time, when you feel tears prick your eyes, it’s because you know the man you’ve loved feels the same.

With the next day being your last full day at home, you spend it just you, Jungkook, your mom, and your siblings. The past week has been busier than anticipated with everything that went on, so you’re thankful for a final calm day to simply enjoy the ease of being home.

You admit to Kayla, Ray, and your mom the truth about you and Jungkook, and their only response is to laugh at you. It’s not as though you thought they’d shame you or make you feel bad, but you didn’t expect them to tease you.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry that you thought we’d pressure you to get married.” Your mom snickers, having finally calmed down from the initial laugh attack.

“You and aunties do it every time I talk to you! And with Nikki’s wedding, I just knew you’d be all over me.”

“Well, I’m sorry that we make you stress out about that. Look on the bright side; now we won’t ask you when you’ll settle down with someone. We’ll only ask when you and Jungkook are settling down.” She gives you both what you assume is her attempt at a reassuring smile, but it only makes you and Jungkook share a nervous look at the possibility of this upcoming interrogation.

The rest of the day is spent watching movies together, and your heart swells at the love that you feel being surrounded by your closest immediate family and your best friend turned boyfriend. As the day wears on, a few of your other family members stop by to say their goodbyes to you and Jungkook before you're off tomorrow morning. Everyone makes it clear to Jungkook that he’s welcome with you anytime and that he’s basically part of the family now. This only serves to have you even more emotional for the rest of the day.

That night, on your last night sleeping in your bed at home, you tear up while you and Jungkook cuddle together watching TikToks on his phone. He notices your sniffles and hurries to wrap you in his embrace, asking what’s wrong.

“S-sorry, I just- I’m really happy right now. I got to see my family, got to see one of my favorite cousins get married, and on top of that, I got you. I never thought I’d get to be with you like this.” You bury your face in his chest, feeling shy.

Jungkook lightly grabs your chin, bringing your face up to meet his. “Hey, I want you to know how happy I am right now too. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from a dream any minute now and realize that I’m not actually holding you.” Jungkook’s words make the butterflies in your stomach flutter and your skin flush. He leans down to kiss you before you can hide again, his lips causing you to melt on the spot.

“I love you, Y/n.” he whispers against you when he pulls away for air. You smile back at him so hard your cheeks start to hurt.

“I love you too, Jungkook. So much.” You kiss him again as you feel your happy tears threaten to fall.

“You need to text me when you land.”

“I will.”

“And let me know when you’re on your way back to school.”

“Yes, mom.”

“And let me know when you get to school—”

“Mom! You know I’ll let you know.”

Your mom laughs at your interruption, then her face falls into a frown.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just going to miss you.” Tightening her grip on your shoulders, she pulls you into yet another hug. She and your siblings had driven you and Jungkook back to the airport, and she’s been holding you in a hug for the past five minutes.

“I know. I’ll miss you all too, but I promise I’ll come back soon.” She gives you a final squeeze before letting you go, allowing you to hug your brother and sister. They both say their goodbyes, making you promise to be back soon. Jungkook gets his own hugs from your family, all of them telling him to come back with you.

Your family watches you go as you finally head away through security to your plane.

When you and Jungkook are finally seated on the plane, ready for take-off, Jungkook checks his phone to text the group chat he has with the guys to let them know you’ll be home soon.

Taehyung: Can’t wait for you guys to get back! I’m bringing a bunch of food from my grandmother. You guys will love it.

Seokjin: More importantly, bring me my money! I won the bet for Y/n and Jungkook to hook up so bring me my wins

Jimin: Yeah, me too! I’ll even accept a digital transfer to my account please

Jungkook: Y’all know I can literally see this chat right

Taehyung: Oh chill out you already knew about the bet. And anyway what if Jungkook lied about them getting together? Like what if he just wants us to think he finally confessed when he didn’t because he doesn’t want us to clown him

Jimin: Hmmmmmm. Jungkook is it true???????

Seokjin: Ugh Tae makes sense he’s probably lying

Seokjin: YOU owe me then JK!

“Bunch of losers,” you grumble from next to Jungkook as you catch sight of the messages. “Here, give me your phone.” You give Jungkook a smirk, and he does as you say. You pull him closer to you and open the front-facing camera on his phone. “Kiss me.”

He doesn’t hesitate to bring his mouth to yours, and you give him the sloppiest kiss you can muster. It’s all open mouth and tongue, and you snap a picture of it. You pull away quickly, leaving Jungkook in a daze as he watches you send the picture to the group chat and turn his phone off once it successfully delivers.

“We’re about to take off. Phone off for safety,” you smile, sending him a wink. Your own phone begins to buzz over and over before you cut yours off as well.

“They’re going to be so pissed at us when we get back to school.” You laugh at the thought, already hearing Jin’s boisterous voice screaming about the picture and Sana grilling you for details.

You decide to worry about that later and instead loop your arm through Jungkook’s on the armrest. He immediately makes space for you and kisses your forehead, the heat from his lips spreading throughout your entire body. Your eyes close as you relish in the feeling of Jungkook and focus on being with him and only him for the next sixteen hours.

Jaekyung has always irked you a lot because he's been teasing you about Seokjin since you were kids but you love him regardless. He’s like an older brother to you and has the same age as Jin so they practically hangout every time the latter comes to town.You may also have been too obvious of your little crush on Seokjin that he immediately noticed and tormented you both during birthday parties.

Sometimes you actually feel bad for Seokjin because of all the teasing he gets not only from your cousin but his older sister as well. You and her have been close mainly because you crave having an older sibling, especially a sister. You hated being the eldest cause of you know, gazillion reasons. You invited her and of course she said yes but then she told you how Seokjin might be coming too since he’s apparently free.

Then why did he turn down your cousin’s invite? Does he even remember you at all?

You felt a pang at the thought but you dismissed it immediately. You still need to pack up so no time to wallow. You're gonna go to this retreat with a Seokjin-free mind.

.

When you arrived at the villa, you were in awe of how gorgeous it is. Everything from the inside architecture and all the villa's luxurious services made you pretty damn hype to be finally fully relaxed. You met with the receptionist and told you to be in the lobby after dinner for a welcoming soiree so you’re even more excited to meet new people.

After settling your stuff, you went outside and toured the entire villa, enjoying all the scheduled activities you planned but truth to be told you mainly enjoyed being pampered in the spa the most. You never regretted having this despite your initial doubts with you being money conscious growing up.

During dinner, you didn't really care much to talk to people since all you can focus on is the food, so damn delicious as you have been starving with all the things that you did today and you're more excited for the soiree after anyways. You went back to your room to touch up since you feel like you look messy after eating so much.

Coming down the stairs to the foyer you noticed people talking to themselves already but most of them seemed to be focused on something, more like someone.

And then you hear it, a familiar melody echoing throughout the room that is being played by someone on the piano in the middle of it. At first you only focused on the melody, bringing back to when you tried learning the instrument in elementary only to stop in order to focus on your studies.

But as you came nearer, you're starting to notice who it is, with his prominent broad shoulders and his perfect posture even when sitting down. There's no doubt it's Seokjin.

You walked nearer, observing him graciously playing the piano with his delicate fingers. You marvelled his face, maybe it's just your eyes but he's gotten more handsome now, it's been almost 7 years since you left after all.

With you getting fascinated with Seokjin's musical skill you didn't notice how you're slowly walking closer to a display table near the corner, and when you moved a little to get a good angle of him, you accidentally elbowed the vase behind you.

The sound cracked into the air that diverted everyone's attention from Seokjin to you. You froze, embarrassed at your clumsiness but before you can apologize you see him turned to you. Seokjin's eyes immediately locked with yours, you noticed the disbelief in them though you wonder if he's only trying to remember your face with this perplexed reaction.

You blinked away and started apologizing to everyone around you, even trying to help the cleaners who insisted for you not worry since this happens quite often. You left in a hurry, not giving Seokjin a glance as you hurriedly passed everyone.

Jin is utterly shocked to see you here of all places, he couldn't believe that you're finally back. Are you staying for good or just visiting? Despite his surprise, he managed to catch your startled reaction on seeing him. 

He immediately stood up, ignoring the weird looks he's been getting and hushed complaints since he stopped playing the piano. He's been there for a while now because of countless requests from other guests and he's just too nice to decline. 

You heard footsteps behind you and now you're nervous because it's surely him. You saw the determined look in his eyes earlier beyond the surprise in them so you already guessed that he'll follow you. But why though?

“You saved me back there” he chuckled, breathing heavily as he caught up to you. You stopped in your tracks, a confused expression displayed on your face.

"Uh you're welcome hehe" you smiled shyly as you recovered, avoiding his stares. You've always been bad at making eye contact and it's not helping when Seokjin's staring at you intensely. 

"How have you been Y/N? Didn't think I'd find you here" he laughs nervously, pondering his approach with your stunned face. He's not gonna be an idiot this time, he already missed his shots before.

"Small world haha but you really remember me?"

You awkwardly laughed since you’re taken aback at how he's approaching you like you two have been long time friends reuniting.

But you and Seokjin weren't friends, just acquaintances since you see each other a lot during celebrations.

"What, you think I'd forget you?" he smiled at you when you turned to him but you didn't miss the regretful look in his eyes. And here you thought he's good at hiding his feelings according to Jaekyung.

"I don't know, you never really talked to me back then" you retorted.

"I just..,hey–"

A sudden darkness enveloped everything around you that made Seokjin yelped and you heard the panicked outcries from the guests in the lobby. You on the other hand remained calm as blackouts don't really scare you.

You were never afraid of it, growing up getting used to frequent blackouts from your little town you developed a skill of maneuvering in the dark. Only case now is that Seokjin's making you nervous so now you clumsily walk forward and hit the corner of the wall.

You let out a small yelp but Seokjin's immediately by your side, holding you tightly. You couldn't see his face but you can tell by his tense touch how worried he is.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently and you chuckled.

"I just bumped Jinnie"

"Jinnie huh?" he teased and you're so sure he's smirking right now.

"Whatever, let's go find some candles" you wavered and instantly grabbed his arm but he removed your hand and laced it together with his own.

You're so fucked, this is moving faster than you anticipated. 

Seokjin's surprised at how you easily moved in the dark and you tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when you're holding hands with him, with Seokjin after all these years.

.

You both ventured through the halls and stopped when one of the staff reassured you that the blackout won’t last for the whole night. Seokjin immediately asked for the candles (which are looking fancy btw) and the staff handed them to you. Seokjin tugged you nearer to him to observe your reaction and he can feel you’re still skeptical around him, after all, you’re practically complete strangers until earlier.

"Y-Y/N, I've been meaning to talk to you–"

"I know, but let's not talk in here" you responded softly which caused a big relief for Seokjin. You dragged him further away from other guests and staff, the little light from the moon outside guiding you both as you walked through the stairs. You were going to go in the direction to your room when he moved around the corner and you noticed that it’s towards his room.

“It’s nearer than your room and I might have a flashlight and more candles there" he responded obviously, looking down at the dimming candle which is why you agreed anyways. You are also mentally preparing for this "talk" of you and him. Is this it? Will he confront you about your obvious feelings for him? How fucking embarrassing would that be.

You both entered a large suite which didn’t surprise you. Knowing Seokjin, of course he would get one of the biggest suites in the villa. You laughed thinking how big this room is for one person, it’s that bigger than yours.

Even in the darkness, you can feel him peering at you and now you’re feeling jittery, all your laughter gone in an instant. 

“I-”

“Uh-”

You both laughed a little for answering at the same time, quite cute actually. Seokjin's still fetching some candles when you walk over to him, surprising him when you turn him around to face you.

"You've been really wanting to talk to me, so now we'll talk Jin" you smiled at him and he smiled back, looking at you like you're the only light in this dark room. 

But you are though, always have been in his life ever since.

"Okay so I know we've never really had an actual conversation every time we see each other before but.." he paused, he seems to be nervous. Kim Seokjin is nervous? You smiled in amusement which he didn't miss. What if..

"I like you"

Your widened eyes mirrored Seokjin's after you both synced again. But no laugh came after this time.

"No" you said dryly, your expression twisting into disbelief making him wince.

"Y-Y/N–"

"My cousin and your sister made my feelings even more obvious but you don't have to use that just to start a conversation Seokjin" you sighed in disappointment.

"No, that's not it and where is this even coming from?" his voice frantic after noticing your opposite response to his confession.

"No? How could you? How could you even like me when you couldn't even look at me before let alone talking to me" your voice laced in irritation.

"I don't think you noticed it back then" he sighed and closed his eyes. You didn't know what to say because you're very confused right now.

He took your silence as a sign to continue so he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking straight into yours.

"You know I've always looked forward to going to parties before, because then I'll get to play with your cousins who I treat as brothers since you know, I don't have one" he looked away and smiled warmly, remembering the fond memories of his childhood.

You wanted him to continue but you have so many questions for him. He waited for them but you don't know what to ask first. Annoyance and confusion battling themselves in your mind.

He nodded slightly, a knowing look on his face and turned his back at you. He needs to explain now before your patience runs out but he couldn’t focus with your pretty face in front of him.

“I wasn’t in a good place back then, my parents were always fighting back home so the only way I’ll get an actual break is when I go with my sisters to your town during gatherings. They’re divorced now though, Dad keeps saying that Mom cheated but I didn’t know who to believe that’s why until now I always leave the house as much as I can” he sounds defeated. You noticed how his broad shoulders slacked against the table and your face softened.

“Jin, I’m sorry I didn’t know” you’re full of guilt now, you should’ve just let him explain before. You’re too consumed with your own feelings that you didn’t even give Seokjin the benefit of the doubt, already assuming everything just because you think you’re the only one looking. Your heart broke at his revelation, how he’s still carrying that experience even today.

“Nah it’s okay, even your cousin didn’t know. Guess I have been really good at hiding it, well at least for everyone outside my family” he playfully responded, trying to lighten up the situation.

You walked closer to Seokjin, aching to hug him to comfort him but you didn’t wanna be too pushy. Just because he said he likes you doesn’t mean you’re allowed to cross boundaries already.

“Jinnie..” you said softly, wanting him to turn around.

“I just don’t go to those parties as my escape place and because of your cousins, I wanted to go because I wanted to see you as well ” you heart’s racing with another confession of his.

You couldn’t help it, so many times you could’ve been together. Maybe if you didn’t leave and paid attention more, it would’ve been different. So you instantly wrapped your arms around his waist and you heard him inhale sharply. shit, is it too much?

But then he released a contented sigh and leaned back into your arms, causing you to relax and smile at his response.

"I'm here Jinnie" you spoke gently.

He removed your arms and turned to face you, his eyes full of longing and affection. You reached for his face with one of your hands and he grabbed the other one, lacing his fingers on yours and brought it to his other cheek.

A tender smile appeared on his very handsome face as he leaned back in the table and you closed the distance between you. You both closed your eyes the moment your lips met, his soft and plump ones molding with your own. He removed his other hand from your fingers, running it down delicately through your arm and you shivered in his touch.

The kiss started off slowly and gently but minutes passed by and you both are starting to feel the neediness for each other. You released your lips from his and you both stared at each other's eyes, inhaling sharply after when his lips started kissing your jaw towards your neck.

You tilt your head on the side to give him more access but his hands grabbed your waist closer to him, situating you between his legs causing your legs to touch his inner thighs and he groaned.

Sensitive part then?

You smirked but it vanished when his hands went down to stroke the back of your thighs underneath your dress, gliding them higher and higher until he reached your bum. You gasped when he grabbed a handful, your hands grasping into his hair as he nipped your collarbones.

You don't really mind if he leaves marks but he's doing it lightly so it won't. Seokjin continued his teasing, purposely doing the same thing over and over again until he felt you getting impatient.

"Seokjin.." you whined softly and pulled his hair, making him moan. He didn't answer you and just smiled against your neck, pecking them lightly before looking back at your cute, scrunched up face.

You couldn't take it anymore and you know he's teasing. Of course, Seokjin won't be Seokjin without it.

He watched in daze as you slowly undressed yourself in front of him. He did not think you'd actually do this with him so he’s thankful, though he still wonders how lucky he is that you accepted his confession.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly and you nodded, clutching his suit.

"Off" you demanded.

He laughed quietly and started removing his clothes slowly.

"Jin I swear–"

You immediately stopped your ramble as soon as you saw his skin into view. Despite the dimmed lighting, you can still clearly see his well-built physique.

He's not muscular like other guys but you don’t really care anyways because it’s Seokjin. Your eyes scanned his face down to his body and you gulped when they reached his very hard member. You looked away now fidgeting but Seokjin just confidently stood up and grabbed your face to kiss you, his thumb caressing your jaw as his kisses turned intense. 

You reciprocated them with fervour, pressing your tongue against his lower lip asking for an entrance which he gladly accepted. Hands desperately roaming at each other’s bodies, you both slowly approached his bed, mouths not stopping at devouring each other until the back of your knees reached the edge.

Seokjin released you, his eyes studying your face, mumbling “gorgeous” before crouching down but you stopped him before his knees reached the floor.

"I want to," he insisted as his palms slid up through your legs, adding the yearning look in his eyes that almost made you say yes. 

"Next time Jinnie" 

"Next time?" he asked softly, scanning your face for any humor in it but you only nodded sheepishly, still shy with this whole thing.

"Mmhmm, I want you inside me now" you pouted, your arousal slowly clouding your shyness. 

"Why are you impatient?" he chuckled, looking at you amusingly, brows wiggling.

"Because the lights might go back on!" you whined.

"So?"

"Jinnie–"

"Are you ready?" Seokjin looked back at you carefully, bringing back your attention to him.

"Mhhmm" you nodded as your nerves increased when he stepped even closer to you with all his naked glory.

Lord thank you for sculpting him like this.

"Words, love" he cooed, laying you both in the mattress, positioning himself after.

"Yes, I'm ready. I have been wanting you for years Jin" you sighed, glad at expressing what you feel for him after keeping them for so long.

And slowly he entered you, making you gasp in pleasure at the feeling when he bottomed out. He's so big and you saw a little smirk appear on his face while letting you adjust. You look so gorgeous like this, staring lovingly into his eyes and he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, God why did it take him so long..

Jin started moving his hips, slowly grinding himself into you, making his crotch rub into your clit. You gaped at his beautiful sight above you, both of his arms planted on each side of your head and the sweat now forming on his face as his pace is slowly increasing. 

A smile formed on your lips when he groaned at how you keep clenching around him .You ran your palms through his clamp biceps, feeling them up until both of your hands reached his face. Seokjin tilted his head and rubbed his cheeks into your palms, the love swimming in his almond-shaped eyes.

Seokjin masks his emotions so well so you almost teared up at how he's letting you see him with all of them out in the open, right here with you. Your touches roamed down to his chest and he shuddered, his elbows bucking down to the sheets and he latched his mouth into one of your nipples, sucking it slowly. 

You had to hold back your moans because the guests might hear you but Seokjin has other plans. His pace increased its speed and you spread your legs wider, allowing him to hit that spot inside you and you almost scream in delight. 

He silenced your moans by kissing you deeply and you responded to them with equal passion.

"Jinnie.." you whimpered as you feel your orgasm nearing, the feeling of his cock stretching your walls deliciously.

"Hmm? I’m close too, love" he whispered, and the endearment didn’t go unnoticed by you despite the pleasure that’s taking over your mind and your heart soared with love for this man.

"I-I'm here for you..fuck!" you cried when his fingers reached down to your clit, his thumb rubbing the swollen bud even faster than his current pace.

"My solace..I love you Y/N'' he gasped shakily, closing eyes shut when your walls clamped around his cock as you reached your peak. The intense pleasure from your climax didn't allow you to respond to him so you just draped your arms around him, hugging him as your breath came down slowly.

He's very close while he's helping you ride out your orgasm but his breath is quickening so you released him and he pulled out just in time, spurts of his cum hitting the mound of your pussy, so much of it that it dribbled down to your sensitive folds. 

All of a sudden, everything was bright and you covered your eyes, shying away from the brightness and Seokjin giggled.

"You're so cute" he smiled warmly at you and you squirm as you feel his cum dripping into the sheets. 

An amused smile loomed his disheveled face as he stood up to get his shirt, climbing back to the bed to clean you up and you beamed. You're really in this deep.

"I love you too Jinnie" you whispered, smiling at him affectionately and he waved you to come closer to him.You put your head on his chest, nuzzling into him while his arms caressed you.

He hummed and silence ruled over you for a while, you're just very happy right now. You still couldn't believe that your childhood crush is your..wait, is he your boyfriend now then?

"You know, your cousin's been teasing me about you since the first time we met" he blurted and you gasped dramatically as you got up, causing him to laugh at your exaggerated reply.

"Really? Gods he does the same to me!" you huffed and Jin just giggled, staring at you fondly.

"I was also gonna offer to teach you some piano stuff secretly before" he confessed meekly, catching you in surprise.

"How did you know? Oh wait, Jaekyung" you scowled, playfully rolling your eyes at him.

“I have another question” you eyed him warily.

He hummed while affectionately touching the side of your back, lightly grabbing your bum.

“Why did you turn down his invite?” 

He laughed hard, hands clamping on his stomach and you elbowed him, your eyebrows scrunching.

“It’s because I wanted to ask you in person, you know an excuse to start talking to you” he giddily responded and you grinned, he finally sounded happy this time.

Seconds later, you noticed his demeanour slowly changing into hesitation, his face contorting into nervousness and eyes refusing to meet yours when you looked at him questioningly. 

"Are-are you only visiting?" he asked quietly, unsure if he wants to know your answer. These years without you made his life dull and he doesn't know if he can handle you leaving after what just happened between you both.

"I don't know, am I?" you teased, fingers running circles on his chest and Seokjin immediately caught on to what you wanted to hear.

"You are not or I will go with you anywhere, girlfriend" he grinned, cocking his head playfully and leaned up, pecking your lips softly.

"Then no, someone just changed my reason to stay" you laughed heartily and instantly moved away when he was about to cage you, his intentions clear with the mischief in his eyes.

“Nope, in my room this time” you winked at him and got up immediately, grabbing on one of his oversized shirts and left him chuckling between the sheets.

This is gonna be a long vacation and you couldn't ask for more.

Prompts:

(5) There is a blackout in the whole building and now we stumble through our apartment, trying to find some candles

(18) At a luxury retreat, Socialite B overhears the most beautiful song and spends the rest of their vacation trying to figure who played that instrument (the writer can choose anything) until they discover it’s their first love - Person A.

tagging Jin stans: @sugasbabiie​ @jinned @erotikkook​ @aroseforyoongi​ @missgeniality​ @kithtaehyung​

You stare at him blankly, wondering if he's perhaps having some kind of stroke and considering whether or not you should call an ambulance. He comes over to your rooted feet by the door, and before you can say anything, his arm winds around your waist and guides you over to his desk. You're hyper  aware of his hand on you in such an intimate manner and it infuriates you, boiling your blood liquid hot in your veins. It feels like everything's moving in slow motion while you attempt to piece together all the chaotic thoughts happening in your mind, but nothing makes any sense. 

His hands reached out across the mattress, feeling that there wasn’t any warmth. His eyes opened slowly, only to see that his assumptions were correct. 

Where was his bride?

He padded barefoot across the room, the obsidian stones shimmering off the candles as he made his way to the balcony. He peered past the chiffon curtains to see a form leaning against the rail. A ghost of a smirk passed his lips as he watched her with quiet intrigue. The light breeze made the curtains flutter as he slipped past. Without making any sound, he approached her, wrapping his arms around her midsection, and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck.

A smile painted her lips as she held back a soft moan. 

“I was wondering when you’d wake up.”

He smiled against her skin, pressing his lips against her neck with each word he spoke. “It’s still early. Come back to bed.”

She rested her hands over his as her eyes clouded with sorrow. “I-I wanted one last look at the sunrise.”

His heart sank from her words. 

It was almost time for her to leave him.

“Persephone–”

She twisted in his grasp, turning to face him, and wrapped her arms around his neck. She twisted the dark strands between her fingers. He rested his forehead against hers as they stood in silence. 

“Not now, Yoongi. I just want to enjoy what we have left,” she whispered.

The devotion in his eyes was apparent. Eons of loneliness, and she appeared one day. So warm, so inviting. Nothing like he ever imagined. It was merely by chance they met and not by the best circumstances; they learned to love each other. 

She brought out his better side. His opposite but equal. He gazed into her honey-colored eyes, still smitten as the day they met. Persephone brought happiness and joy to the Underworld, filling it with flora and fauna that could survive in the dark and dreary atmosphere. She let her dark brown tresses styled in braids sway as she tilted her head to look up at him. Her skin, a golden brown, seemed to glow under the lights.

“You’re awful sentimental right now, Yoongi,” she observed.

Yoongi let out a light chuckle as he twirled one of her braids between his fingers. “You’re leaving in the morning.”

She felt her heart sink. “I don’t want to talk about it now. Can I just enjoy this last night with my husband?”

His free hand gripped her waist, pulling her flush against him. He wasn’t as tall as his other brothers, but his body was well defined. It wasn’t his looks that won her over, though. Everyone always assumed the God of the Underworld was cruel, cold, and intimidating. They couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Yoongi was the most endearing person she’d ever met. And sure, he didn’t ask to rule over his domain, but he made the most of it. He brought out her confidence and strengths. After being in her mother’s shadow for so long, Yoongi gave Persephone the courage to speak up and gain her voice.

She shivered against him as he kissed her neck delicately. “Talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

Persephone scoffed as she squirmed in his arms. “It’s not important. I just want to enjoy this time with you.”

Yoongi’s eyes softened. “Tell me what you want, love. I’ll do whatever you say.”

The flowers that rested upon her crown began to turn vibrant as her eyes darkened. That was one thing that Yoongi noticed. The flowers would change depending on her mood: wither with sadness, bloom when happy–though now he couldn’t quite make what the pollen meant that drifted around and dusted their skin now.

“I-I want you to make love to me, Yoongi,” she whispered, pressing herself more against him. Her lips ghosted his earlobe.

His breath hitched as he stiffened in more than one way. Without another word, he crashed his lips against hers, almost swallowing her whole. Frantic, rushed, he wanted to devour her right then and there. Persephone squeezed his shoulder as he pulled away.

“Yoongi,” her voice breathless. “Slower...please.”

He nodded, pulling away from her, and turned her body away from his. “Put your hands on the balcony rail,” he instructed. 

She did as instructed, moaning with want as she felt his fingers caress her skin. She felt like she was on fire. It was like he was using his touch to remember her body, the contours, dips, curves; he wanted it all. He toyed with the waistband of her silk shorts before slipping his fingers over her mound. He let out a strained moan as he cupped her sex.

“No panties?”

She threw her head back against his chest as she breathed deeply through her nose. Yoongi’s fingers could do wonders to her body. His touch was soft and gentle. He used his index finger to drag along her slit, already finding her to be well aroused. He groaned in her ear, flicking his tongue out to tease her earlobe.

“Wet too? You have no idea what you do to me.”

“Please. Please.”

Suddenly his finger circled her clit, making her knees buckle. She gripped the rail as a slew of curses passed her lips. Yoongi chuckled, watching her reaction.

“Ah, the Goddess of Spring cursing, how scandalous.”

She turned her head, trying to look cross, but he could only see the desire in her eyes. “You bring it out of me.”

Yoongi kissed her briefly, pulling back to nibble on her bottom lip affectionately. He tapped her clit, making her jump against him. She was like putty in his hands. He wanted nothing more than to bend her over and bare themselves to onlookers showing them that she was his and only his. But Yoongi knew this last time had to mean much more. Something for both of them to remember before she was gone.

With a cry, she felt two fingers slip into her cunt while his other finger still drummed upon her clit. Yoongi suckled on her neck, making fresh marks bloom along her skin. It didn’t take much to see the dark purple spots appear. She was so sensitive to his touch. It turned him on more, knowing she was enjoying it as much as he was. In her haze, Persephone could feel Yoongi hardened against her lower back.

She bit her lip, pressing more against him, trying to relieve some tension, and it made a growl form in his throat. He kept the painstakingly slow pace, dragging her closer to the edge but not giving her any relief. He coaxed her with his fingers, ones she couldn’t get enough of it. She watched as the digits disappeared and reappeared from her sex, covered in her arousal. Her knuckles gripped the rail, trying to stay still. It was getting to be too much for her to handle. And yet she loved it. He knew just how to make her fall apart. She was on the edge, ready to let the waves crash over her when Yoongi paused his movements. She keened into his touch, letting out a soft whimper. 

His eyes flashed as he removed her fingers from her cunt and turned her to face him. Without a word, he pushed them into her mouth. Persephone could barely respond to sudden loss of contact as she took his fingers into his mouth and suckled his digits, tasting herself. Yoongi watched her darkly as she licked his fingers clean. 

“Good girl,” he crooned, stroking her cheek fondly.

She preened at his praises, still craving his touch. Yoongi licked his lips, watching her. He crouched down, sliding her shorts down with him. At eye level, he gazed upon her pussy lips, nearly drooling. Clit swollen and lips puffy. He needed to taste. The smell overwhelmed his olfactory system. 

“Gods, you smell wonderful. I could devour you,” he said grazing her lips with a kiss, teasing, and sucking.

His tongue dipped inside, tasting her with greed. He gripped her backside digging his fingers into the flesh, keeping her in place.

Humming the vibrations sent a jolt through the body. Persephone gripped his dark locks, keeping him anchored in place. His nose and chin grazed her slit as wanton sounds passed his lips. He feasted upon her womanhood as if it were ripened fruit, the sounds she gave only encouraging him more. It was music to his ears. He teased her clit, sliding his fingers back into her cunt, curling them, building her arousal with each stroke. 

Persephone rutted against his mouth, her voice singing praises.

He knew she was close when he felt her body quiver with each lick. He slowed his motions to a tormenting pace, casting his eyes up at her. Dark orbs staring into warm honey. All he could see was love. With some reluctance, he removed his mouth from her lower lips, standing up. He tilted her face and Yoongi crushed her lips against his in a possessive kiss. The air escaped her as she tasted herself on him. He took note of the remnants of the ambrosia on her tongue that they had drunk the mere hours before. Looking into her eyes, Yoongi felt his heart clench.

“I need you. Right now,” he said with a hushed whisper.

He scooped her up and carried her back into their bedroom, depositing her on the bed with care. He removed his pajama pants, cock springing to slap across his abdomen. Persephone gazed lustfully at him as he crawled towards her on the bed. His knees sunk into the mattress as he glided across the ebony sheets. He made his way to her legs, parting them open, cock brushing her thigh as his hands cupped her breasts through her top. With a hiss, he practically ripped off her camisole top—eyes drinking in her every detail. The marks on her neck were making him grunt lowly. Yoongi pressed his lips to hers as he lifted her body, making her wrap her legs around his waist. Persephone suckled on his bottom lip as he shuddered.

Yoongi lined himself against her entrance, his breath warm against her skin. As he slid in, they both cried out in pleasure. He took it slow, wanting her to feel each thrust. His fingers tweaked her dark nipples as their bodies molded together. The couple only had eyes for each other.

Devotion filled his gaze as he watched her face contort with pleasure, drawing out her gasps. Tears slid down her cheeks as she sobbed through it all. Yoongi kissed each one away, whispering words of comfort. Her nails dug into his back as his thrusts picked up. Her body was shaking from the impact. His hips stuttering at the vice grip she had around his cock.

“P-Persephone,” he murmured into her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too Yoongi...my Hades,” she answered softly.

His hips slapped against her as the sounds of their lovemaking filled the room once more. His tip teased her spot, unraveling her as she came undone. After all his edging she was begging for him to make her cum. All the build-up made her almost feral. Her nails scratched his back trying to keep up with his rhythm. But this was about her. He could care less if he came tonight. He only wanted her.

“Yoongi...please…please,” she begged through the tears. “I...I can’t…”

Sweat formed on their bodies as they continued on. Yoongi’s hair clung to his face, eyes determined to take her over the edge.

“Yes you can,” he cooed. “Cum for me. My lovely Goddess.”

The flowers on her head burst open as she threw her head back into the pillows, her siren-like scream shaking the room. Yoongi cried out as he joined her, his seed filling her womb with each thrust. Moments passed as they still orgasmed until the high dropped making their bodies heavy. Yoongi clung to her form, head nestled between her breasts. He listened to her heart race, his own organ mimicked the frantic beating. They stayed like that for some time, breathing in each other. Yoongi was the first to stir, looking up at her in adoration. He kissed her forehead, each cheek, nose, chin, and lips.

He combed his fingers through her hair with a small smile. “Baby?”

Her eyes fluttered open as she looked at him. “Hmmm? I’m here.”

His signature gummy smile widened as his thumb caressed her cheek. “Good. I wasn’t too much, was I?”

“No, never,” she replied. 

He hummed placing his head back down on her chest. “We should bathe.”

Her fingers stroked his back. “Together?”

“Together.”

Yoongi took care to wash his wife carefully, soothing her aches, washing away sweat and fluids. Of course, that didn’t mean he was finished with her. He brought another orgasm out of her making her ride him as the water splashed out the large basin. He was greedy, wanting nothing but her.

Eventually, they removed themselves from the tub once the water became chilled. Drying each other off and resting back in bed once more. He held her close, knowing the hours were dwindling down. Each in their own thoughts, not wanting the next to arrive. But life was inevitable. 

That was their goodbye. He woke up to her place beside him empty. A lone Pomelia rested on her pillow. He picked it up, sniffing it gently, and walked back out to the balcony. 

A new day had arrived and she was no longer there. A butterfly from the Elysia fields fluttered past him and rested on the flower. He chuckled softly, watching it with a tender gaze.

“I love you too, Persephone.”