#barbarlc

She lays on her back, trying to catch her breath. There’s already a painful stitch in her side from running, and she clutches a stake in one shaking hand. Once she feels as though she can properly breathe, she glances up at the vampire next to her. 

Yup, pure judgement as expected. 

“Is there a reason you’re here or are you just following me around again?”

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Literally forever because we’re trash XD

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - IDK I personally think it’s more of a gradual thing? Like they just end up together all the time, and one day it’s just like “oh.” 

How was their first kiss? - I imagine it wasn’t planned or expected. It was probably during an argument tbh. I mean, it’s them. 

Wedding: ((cries because these domestic ones are probably not their main verse. Maybe the cop one??))

Who proposed? - Hal definitely. And he stuttered the entire way through it, and dropped the ring in his hurry and it was a beautiful mess. 

Who is the best man/men? - This is a good question! Not sure who exists in their verse but Tom maybe? I really don’t know. 

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Also not sure. Alex doesn’t have girlfriendsXD

Who did the most planning? - Hal, probably. Alex is so awkward about everything, and she wouldn’t care what it looked like.

Who stressed the most? - Alex, actually. Because the whole situation makes her nervous and she doesn’t want Hal to be discouraged by her lack of enthusiasm. Like, it’s not him, it’s literally everything else.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.| I feel like they planned a thing and then ran off and eloped when it got to be too much tbh. 

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Lol, well, technically everyone when they ran off and cancelled it XD

Sex:

Who is on top? - Alex, but this is more a testament to Hal’s willingness to give her everything than her personality. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - They probably equally instigate things really, but it’s never really smooth because they’re awkward dweebs. 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - lmao not at all (except biting maybe XD) Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - That really depends. On the verse and the situation. I mean, vampires so…

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - I imagine Hal is overly generous in this respect. 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it. - All of the above. Again, this tone is set entirely by Alex. Hal wouldn’t do anything to her he wasn’t 100% sure she’d be okay with. I imagine he frequently asks permission during sex as well, and she probably tells him to shut up and get on with it. 

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.-Both are dweebs who don’t love people or touching them soo it’s not all the time. 

Children: ((CRIES FOREVER BECAUSE REASONS) (Definitely for the ouat verse methinks.)

How many children will they have naturally? - I see two being all that Alex wants to handle. 

How many children will they adopt? - Probably none. 

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Hal, definitely. She can sucker him into anything. 

Who is the stricter parent? - Alex. If the kids want something, they cry to Hal about it because he’s weak. XD

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Hal. He worries about them constantly. 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Also Hal. 

Who is the more loved parent? - Both of them respectively. One kid for each. 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Hal, but I don’t think he’d go either. Alex would be asked to leave. She doesn’t play well with others. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - OMG Hal, he was inconsolable and Alex had to drag him home. 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Alex is a cop sooo their kids better not get arrested EVER. She’d be like “leave them there” and Hal would have to go get them. 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Alex can’t cook a lot of things, so Hal. But what Alex can cook is always delicious. 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Hal, I imagine. Alex likes most foods. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - They go together, and Hal has to remove all the junk Alex throws in the cart. 

How often do they bake desserts? - If they do, it’s all Hal. Alex can;t bake to save her life. 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - LMAO meat eaters. 

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Hal, definitely. He’s more likely to remember.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Alex. She loves takeout, though. 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - ALEX. Most definitely. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - It has to be Alex. She can’t handle someone else doing it because they’ll do it “wrong”. 

Who is really against chores? - Neither, I’d imagine. They’re both tidy people.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Alex. 

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - That is an equally horrifying thought to both of them, 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Hal, probably. Alex’s tidiness is more for her own comfort than anyone else’s. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Hal, but he’d give it to Alex. 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Alex, definitely. She loves hot showers. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - I don’t think they’d have a dog. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Alex isn’t really into the holidays, but I imagine they do a little something occasionally.

What are their goals for the relationship? - lol depends on the verse. 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Alex definitely. Because she’ll have been up until 3 am before. 

It’s late, later than she realized, and she’s knocking on his door anyway. She’s beat all to Hell, and she’s prettty sure she’s b le e d i n g all over the doormat, but her last hunt got a bit…complicated, and she figures going home to her empty apartment isn’t smart. And she’ll never admit it, but she can’t bring herself to be alone right now.

Nevertheless, she knows he’s probably going to yell so she shuffles uncomfortably when the door opens. 

“–So, funny story.”

She walks up to the counter, trying not to scowl at anything in particular. It’s not any one person’s fault (though she could certainly blame Eric since he makes the schedule) that her mood is so sour. It’s just too early to be cheerful about anything. She makes brief eye contact with the barista.

“A black coffee and a croissant.” and then, as an after thought, “Ah,please.”