#bapen

Basen wasn’t the type to celebrate his birthdays. It wasn’t that he regretted being born or anything, he just didn’t think it was any different from any day. 

‘It wasn’t that special,’ he personally thought.

However, his lover didn’t think so. 

“What! You- you don’t celebrate your birthdays!?” 

Basen looked at him, confused. 

“Yes? What about it?”

Pen looked shocked and got up from his partner’s lap.

“So many things!? What do you mean, ‘what about it’. A birthday is meant to be celebrated. How are you alright with just not doing anything special? What about gifts?”

“Gifts? I don’t need gifts. My family already does a lot for me.”

“Eh? B-but it’s your birthday!”

“So?”

“When is your birthday, anyway?”

“In a week. Why?”

Pen’s jaw dropped.

“ A week. And you tell me now.”

Basen just stared at him.

“You never asked.”

Basen was getting under Pen’s skin.

“...But you know mine.”

Basen however, had no clue as to what was happening.

“You told me yours.”

Pen huffed.

“You were supposed to tell me too, you know?”

“Was I?”

“You really-”

Pen sighed, sometimes Basen really got on his nerves, even though that was what Pen loved about him.

“I’ll be getting you a gift for your birthday. So, do you have anything you want currently?”

“Nothing in particular.”

Pen frowned at the lukewarm response.

“Fine. I’ll get you something I can guarantee you’ll like.”

“ Don’t get me a pen. Hyung already bought me one from Capital when he was visiting.”

“Tch.”

Pen grumbled.

That was the one thing Pen had guaranteed that Basen would love. He got up from the couch and looked the other man in the eye.

“I’ll see you in a week then.”

Basen looked a little confused.

“Why? You could still visit me. I rarely get to see you anyway.”

“I’ll be busy selecting a good gift and planning a party in a week.”

“A party is unnecessary.”

Pen ignored the last statement and walked out of the room, grabbing his coat in the process.

“That idiot,” he grumbled, before remembering his first meeting with his brother.

“Just like his brother.”

***

He walked through to the roads to take a closer look at the shops. Thankfully, he had the liberty to do so, since his secret bodyguards would be insuring his protection.

‘Being under disguise isn’t that bad.’

He then spotted something that caught his eye. A monocle.

 He could imagine the younger man wearing the monocle and having a permanent scowl on his face.

Pen chuckled. ‘He would look hilarious in that, but it suits him. Weird.’

He hummed as he walked down the street, eying various titbits, varying from magical equipment to clothes to flowers.

Nothing seemed to suit Basen, and though there were numerous times he was tempted to buy something and get it over with, he remembered his words and sighed, bringing him back to his goal.

“What would he like?” Pen mumbled.

“Excuse me, sir, would you like some help?”

He turned to see a very professional-looking attendant.

“Yes, I would like to see something for a seventeen-year old boy. His measurements are xxx.”

“Is it for the young lord?”

‘This woman really does have a keen eye.’

“Yes.”

The woman however, despite her stoic face, was trying not to show how nervous she was.

‘This man...He’s the prince of the Breck Kingdom, isn’t he? That face is something I’d recognize  anywhere, especially since we specialize in nobility. What is he doing here?’

“Please sit here and look at these.” She led him to a room which had the prototypes of the outfits, for the demographic, and handed him a list of the outfits.

Pen looked through the list of outfits and finally, after half a day, found something that would suit Basen.

It was a gorgeous coat which he was sure would look good on Basen. The shade of brown used, had a richer color,and a lovely germanium was used as the fabric underneath, the exact color as Pen’s hair. It had no embroidery and would definitely appeal to the younger man.

He smiled at the wonderful choice.

He walked out of the store, happy at the fact he had managed to finish one of the many tedious jobs to come.

***

He headed back to the residence that the Henituse estate had prepared for him to proceed with the plan, but Pen was a little too tired and, honestly just wanted to rest. He collapsed on his bed after his arrival at the designated room, and just as his eyes were about to close, he heard a knock.

He grumbled, and reluctantly parted from his comfortable bed to open the door and see who it was.

Pen frowned.

"Well, well, well, look who it is."

Basen looked down at his lover's feet, a little flustered and still confused at the response he got.

Pen noticed this. He really wanted to smirk at his victory at proving his point, but still kept a stoic face.

"Didn't I ask you to not visit me for the time I'm here?"

"B-but I didn't know that you'd be so stubborn on that point! It's just a birthday,"

Basen protested.

"Just a birthday? It was the day you were born. It should be celebrated."

Pen sighed. His rational side tried to reason with his emotional side. He knew that Basen was a different person, but he couldn't just let it go.

'Why does he not celebrate? It's his birthday. It's a day to be celebrated. Why doesn't he get it!?'

Basen was getting frustrated. He didn't understand what the problem was, yet he was being bombarded with these comments on his life, which he believed to be completely fine. Basen knew he wasn't an emotional person. He knew that he wasn't able to understand what his partner was feeling, and so did his partner know that he couldn’t.

 He just couldn't help raising his voice;

"Just tell me what's wrong already! I don't get it! I don't get these things if you don't tell me, you know that!"

Pen's eyebrows loosened and he became stiff. Though, it wasn't often Basen raised his voice, Pen never liked it when he did. He paused for a minute, took a deep breath and got his thoughts on order.

"Come in."

Basen frowned, but went through with it, taking a seat where he thought it would be appropriate to sit as a guest.

Pen walked to the tea brewer in the room,

"I'll get the tea."

"No need. I won’t be staying here for long anyway."

Pen halted and went over to take a seat right in front of Basen. They both let their eyes search the other  for a while to study what they were feeling, Pen felt sorry for driving his other half, as he called him so lovingly, to such a limit. His guilt started to overtake his anger.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault."

Unfortunately, Basen was irritated, which made his vision clouded. This wasn't something that he felt that often, but the situation was just so irksome.

He looked at him in disbelief and disgust.

Pen flinched at the gaze.

"It IS your fault. Prince, we established that. Moving on," he sighed,"I think I needed some time to myself, since you're going to act like that." He snapped, as he gestured towards the door.

Pen knew instinctively that Basen was losing his temper. The feeling was icky and seeped through his organs and through his bones, slowly creeping into his heart.

'No.' He started to wave his hands in panic and also partly because of the fear of the other man's rejection.

"Please-"

"See you later, Pen. Do not follow me.Well, you won’t. Since, you don’t want to meet me anyway."

He was cut off with those icy words, his name said with such disdain, he felt as if Basen was using his name as an insult in itself.

***

Basen got up from the couch and walked out of the room. He was hurt. Even though this was such a small thing, his mind couldn't register the way Pen had treated him. He had completely trampled over his emotions and way of doing things. He needed to be away from his lover for some time, to at least cool off.

It wasn't that these kinds of arguments weren't normal and a daily occurrence, they did bicker occasionally, but this time it had gone too far. Never had he expected Pen to follow his way of life, nor did he think Pen would want him to do so. Pen was a person who was not that accepting, Basen knew that, but still he believed that some things were different about them and those had to be accepted.

 He walked down the staircase to find a maid or a butler.Instead, he saw a familiar face, yet found it unusual to see at home.

"Hyung!"

He walked quickly to close in on the distance between them.

The older man looked down at him with a cold expression. 

"Basen," his cool voice responded.

"Will you be staying for long?" 

"No. I'll be leaving after dinner.”

“Alright. I'll just let you know that Mother would like to see you.” Basen wasn’t surprised, since he was used to this.

He walked past Cale, who noticed that his younger brother who he wasn’t that close with, was odd. since he did promise Og! Cale to take care of his younger brother, he asked him about what happened, but not that much not to encroach on his privacy.

“You look depressed. Did something happen?”

Basen stiffened, but nodded and walked out of the residence.

Cale felt a bit concerned, even though he didn’t show it on his face.

***

Basen went into his room, all his energy had been sapped and he brewed himself some tea and took a seat on his bed. He gradually sipped on it, emptying the cup, taking his time. He huffed the steam coming out of the cup. He needed to calm his nerves. The tea he was drinking, Earl Grey, was also introduced to him by Pen. He unconsciously found himself smiling and remembering the times Pen had got him the tea, not to forget, the first time he had got it for him.

‘He was so excited,’ he thought, he looked at his reflection in the tea and frowned remembering the events that had just taken place. He felt the tea in his mouth go bitter.

“I need rest.” 

He mumbled.

He quickly gulped down the entire cup and kept the cup on his side table, before falling over in his bed. He could feel a headache coming over him. He exhaled sharply.

“I’m tired. That’s all it is.” He mumbled, trying to ignore the thoughts running rampant in his mind.

'I messed up.' Pen had been sitting in the exact same position for an hour, just contemplating how the entire discussion had taken such a tangent turn. 'I shouldn't have said that.' he ran his fingers through his hair, which reminded him of the feeling of Basen's cool touch and the soft words he used to mutter while playing with his hair.

He looked at the ceiling and thought about where he should have drawn the line. He wanted a calming cup of tea, but he couldn't drink any because everything tasted sour and didn’t match his tastes.Pen made up his mind that he needed to have a bath, he asked his attendant to prepare one for him.

As Pen walked into the humongous bathroom, he realized that it was prepared according to all his needs. 

Pen knew that it was Basen who had prepared the room to match his preferences. He slid into the filled bathtub. He felt a stinging sensation throughout his body. Was it guilt? Was it just him dealing with emptiness? Pen had no idea.

He heard a long whine, which escalated to tears. His mind was so chaotic he couldn't realize who was making the sound- it was him. 

Pen sobbed for so long the water ran cold and his voice was reduced to nothing but an ugly croak. Pen imagined how unfair his young and delicate lover would have felt when Pen told him what should and shouldn't be done. He wasn't in a position to say that. He suddenly had a revelation, which was due for a long term.

“I should be begging for his forgiveness right now. What am I still here?”

 He remembered the words Basen had said and shuddered. 

He got out of the tub, leaving the decorated room and quickly slid on a simple bathrobe, before summoning his attendant to get him an outfit. Pen had his doubts on going, but he knew that he needed to make up for his mistake. Whether he would be allowed in or not, Pen felt it to be his duty to apologize and probably make Basen and himsel feel better.

 When the attendant  had finished dressing him, Pen was wearing flashy but still suave clothes. They were clothes that would fit a prince. They do say that clothes make a man.

***

Pen reached the door, but he didn’t have the courage to knock on the door. Pen put his hand on his neck nervously before letting the other hand touch the door. As soon as the soft noise was heard, the door opened to reveal a shorter brunette who looked very grumpy after his short nap being disturbed. “What do you want?”

Pen faltered at the cold tone.

“I-I really am sorry about what happened. Could I do anything to make it up to you?”

 Basen’s face looked confused at the already light tears in Pen’s eyes. 

‘Why is he crying? Not to mention, his eyes are swollen. How much did he cry?’

“U-um, come inside.” Basen pressed his temples of his head. Pen walked in quickly to not show his wet eyes which might burst at any moment to Basen. After Pen came inside he wiped his eyes to give Basen an impression that nothing was wrong at all which made Basen frown. 

"So?"

Pen trembled a little.

"I'm sorry." 

"What?"

Basen’s tone was hostile. 

Pen averted his eyes. He could feel them welling up at the cold words, since he could tell that Basen had no intention of forgiving him.

Basen looked at Pen sniffling, annoyed at the fact that he already started to cry. He was so terribly frustrated.

Basen tightened his grip.

“What are you crying about? You were the one in the wrong. I should be the one throwing a tantrum. You won’t gain any sympathy even though you act like that.”

But Pen just sobbed.

“But I told you that I’m sorrry- What else can I do?” 

Basen was angry, he tried to reason his anger, and tried to control it. He muttered, leaving the room to find an attendant.

“I’m going to get some water. At this point, anything cold will do.”

He then turned to Pen,

“Stay there until I return.”

Pen looked at Basen’s restless face.

Basen knew nothing could be done.

It was obvious. He needed to cool down before he could hear that apology. ‘It was genuine. I know that.’ It still frustrated him.

He took a deep sigh after drinking the cold water, “I shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have said it that way. But it wasn’t my fault completely. He also did that.” It was just a small hiccup in their relationship. It was stupid to ponder on it for such a long time. ‘I’ll just get it over with and accept his apology. It was partly my fault anyway.’

He ruffled his hair while walking up the long winding staircase to his bedroom, still trying to push his ego who wanted to buckle Pen down. “Everyone can make mistakes. You just have to forgive-” 

“Oppa?”

Basen looked up to see his younger sister looking down at him, she was covered in sweat and looked tired.

“Lily. You’re back.”

She nodded. She scanned him for anything different, only to see a very tired and stressed elder brother.

“Are you alright? You look stressed.”

Basen’s eyes widened at the statement Lily made, and he pointed at himself.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You look like you’re going to collapse any moment. How long has it been since you slept?”

“A minute ago. Why?”

“I meant proper sleep, not a nap, Oppa.”

Basen looked confused.

“There’s a difference?”

“Of course there is. You’re overexerting yourself. Take some time off.”

“Not needed. I’ll be sleeping after that pile of documents on my desk gets cleared.” 

Lily sighed.

“By the way, I heard Orahbuni returned.”

“Yes, I ran into him, some time  ago.”

“Is he still sickly?”

“Looks like it.”

Lily sighed.

“It seems like both of my brothers have no idea how to take care of themselves.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I say.”

Basen was very confused about her words. Even though, he didn’t take her words to face value.

“Anyway, I’ll be going.”

“Where?”

“Back to my room.”

“See you at dinner.”

Basen nodded and walked past her.

“You should reconcile quickly, Oppa.”

“What do you mean now?”

Basen said as he frowned and looked back at her, but Lily was no longer there.

Basen tilted his head at his sister’s disappearing act, but continued to walk up the stairs.

He opened the door to see Pen awkwardly frozen in the middle of his room holding his cup on a tray.

"Y-you're back."

"Yeah."

Basen nodded and took a seat.

"So,"

"So?"

 Pen repeated the word.

“You tell me.” Pen said, keeping the cup in front of the other and sitting down.

Basen gave Pen a glance, examining all of his features closely, to each of his germanium locks, to every tremble of his lip and the swollen red under his clear eyes.

“Right. About the birthday.”

“What about it?”

Pen sounded nonchalant, yet both of them knew that Pen was not feeling that way at all.

“Why do you want to celebrate it so bad?”

“Isn’t it because it’s only natural to do so. Celebrate your birthday pomp and show it off-” 

“-But you see Pen, I don’t celebrate that way. I don’t celebrate it at all, and don’t get me wrong it's not because of the fact that I can’t- I very much can, but the fact remains, that I don’t want to. I don’t find it useful nor fun to celebrate my birthday. I find it a waste of money and time.”

Pen’s eyes settled, as his hand laced over his mouth, lazily covering parts of it.

He understood that it really didn’t hold much importance to Basen, but he still-

“But, since I know how much you want to celebrate it with me, I’ll make some adjustments in my schedule. But I don’t want a full blown party so–"

He was also cut off by Pen.

"Then I have an idea."

Basen noticed that Pen looked excited.

"How about we spend it together? Alone."

"You say that, like you never thought of it.”

"But it is, no?" Pen grinned.

Basen had a complicated expression.

"I guess?" 

Pen felt like he had won. 

"Then, it'll be my turn to plan it." Finally. This stubborn partner of his actually allowed him to be the one to take care of the date planning, normally he'd always been treated like dead weight.

His tears started flowing again in relief and joy.

"You're crying again…?" Basen sighed.

Pen sniffled,

“These are happy tears.” His sniffle sounded more like a croak than a sniffle.

Basen smiled, “Sure.”

He handed Pen a handkerchief and patiently waited for Pen’s tears to stop flowing, sitting right in front of him, sipping on his tea, while the other man tried to speak but could only  make incoherable sounds.

After Pen calmed down, Basen patted his head which made Pen to nuzzle up to the hand. Basen was rather surprised with the sudden display of affection but he didn't find it disturbing.

Pen then gave his hand a small peck and smiled at Basen content.

Basen’s stoic face disappearing and being replaced with a joyful smile.

“Then, what are you thinking about  for the date?”

“Well, that’s a secret, of course.” Pen said pulling Basen onto his lap,kissing his neck and cheek.

“Too bad.” Basen chuckled at the wave of affection he was getting, sitting down on Pen’s lap and returning some of it by pulling the older man's collar into a kiss. Pen was shocked for the first few minutes but then started to return the exchange.

Pen pulled away from the kiss and wrapped his arms around Basen.

“Could we just stay like this for a bit?”

Basen sighed.

“Sure. As long as you want.”

They stayed like that for some time, silently and without moving.

It felt nice, and soothing..