#banthaafodder

This is a Royalty AU!

Reader and Anakin are Prince!Obi’s guards. I’m not sure how the politics in the prequels fit into this so let’s call this the ‘obi is royalty just cuz au’

Note: a few mentions of blood, mild violence, and one curse.

Words:1,441

You had been guarding the crown Prince of Coruscant for the past three years. He was a few years older than yourself, and this age difference caused the Prince to resent you slightly. Your partner, Anakin, often teased the Prince, trying to get a reaction out of him. Anakin knew he wouldn't face any consequences, because he was rather close with the Prince, and the other Jedi refused to take the job so there was no one else to replace him. You on the other hand, tried to stay focused on your work. You were hired to protect the Prince, and you tried your best, but he didn't make things easy.

"Prince Obi-Wan, please wait until after I've confirmed that the room is safe."

Obi-Wan ignored you and brushed past Anakin to sit on the side of his bed. "Oh please, I've been gone twenty minutes. Who could possibly have infiltrated my chambers in that time?" he scoffed.

Anakin finished his sweep of the room and gave you the okay.

You looked at Obi-Wan, struggling to keep the anger off your face. "Your Majesty, with all due respect: this is my line of expertise. It would be in your best interest to listen to me," you laid a hand on the hilt of your lightsaber, and fixed the prince with one last cool look before turning to Anakin. "Stay here with the prince, I have to speak with Master Yoda and the King." You reached out and gripped the younger Jedi's shoulder, "And this time don't leave him alone. We can't have a repeat of last week."

Anakin flushed, "I took my eyes off him for one second, y/n! What, do you expect me to hold his hand while he shits?"

Obi-Wan looked on with a smug smile, "I think I'd fancy a walk around the garden." You turned from Anakin and stopped Obi-Wan at the door.

"Please my Prince," you said quietly, "The King has assigned Anakin and I to you for a reason," Obi-Wan looked into your eyes, transfixed. "I can't have your blood on my hands too."

The Prince seemed to soften at your words, and he grasped your hand for a moment before releasing it. The touch was so fleeting you thought you'd imagined it.

"I'll try to stay out of trouble, but only for you, y/n," he said seriously.

Anakin pretended to swoon, and led your group into the corridor. "Oh Obi-Wan! You charmer!" he crooned, folding his hands under his chin and batting his eyelashes at his charge. Obi-Wan pushed him roughly, but laughed with the younger man.

"Alright, please be careful you two. I should be done my meeting within the hour, I'll meet you in the gardens," the boys waved goodbye and you went off in opposite directions.

You had no doubt that Anakin was a competent Jedi, but something about Obi-Wan made him more lax than usual. While the Prince was infuriatingly stubborn, he had a small soft spot for Anakin. Obi-Wan and the King had discovered Anakin at some backwater planet during their travels. They had liberated the young slave and taken him home to the Jedi temple. So Obi-Wan had known Anakin for many years. Their relationship had grown closer to that of brothers. You had met the Prince just after completing your Jedi Trials, your braid freshly shorn. Anakin was a few years younger, and still training as a Padawan. As your feet carried you to the council room, you remembered that hellish first year being Obi-Wan's sole guard. Obi-Wan was four years older than you, and jumped at every chance to remind you of the fact. He also ignored your every instruction, dismissing you as some silly little girl. HIs actions had led him into more than one sticky situation, and it wasn't until the third kidnapping attempt that he begrudgingly began listening to you.

Stopping outside the council room, you calmed your mind and schooled your features before entering. Grand Master Yoda sat at the long table across from King Qui-Gon. You bowed low, and took your post at the side of the table.

Qui-Gon nodded shortly, Thank you for joining us, y/n. Unfortunately we haven't the time for pleasantries," he handed you a data pad. "We have reason to believe that someone has infiltrated the temple," he looked up at you gravely , "A Sith."

Your eyes widened and your hands tightened on the data pad.

"Surprised you are?" Master Yoda chortled, " For many years expected this, have we."

You wiped the expression from your face and looked down at the information on the data pad, "What is their target?", a sick feeling grew in your gut.

"The Prince," Qui-Gon said shortly.

A rush of panic went through your body, and you struggled to hide it. You remembered the dreams you had been having. Yellow eyes, glinting from the shadows, always watching you. Your nightmares couldn't be coming true.

Master Yoda looked at you with perceptive eyes, "Seen something, have you?"

"

Yes," you breathed, "But it was just a dream."

"Seldom the case, that is," Yoda said sagely.

Qui-Gon cleared his throat and you turned towards him. "In any case, see to Obi-Wan's complete protection. The Sith are highly trained adversities. You or Anakin alone are no match." He looked small somehow, older. "Please y/n, I'm counting on you. Dismissed."

You flung yourself out the door and down the hallway towards the gardens. A sinking feeling grew in the pit of your stomach every step you took closer. You prayed Anakin was still with Obi-Wan. You couldn't stop thinking of those glowing yellow eyes, and felt like they were watching you that very second.

Finally you arrived at the glass doors leading to the garden.

You threw them open roughly and drew your lightsaber. You stopped short at the sight of Obi-Wan sitting in a patch of white and yellow flowers. Anakin was stretched out on the ground at the Prince's side. He was describing , in great detail, a particularly tricky pod racing track from his youth. The two turned at your abrupt entrance, and Obi-Wan broke into a smile so bright you couldn't breathe at the sight.

"y/n! Great, please save me from Anakin's pod racing stories." Obi looked so happy to see you that your chest bloomed with warmth, causing you to forget your previous panic. Your body relaxed, and you clicked off your lightsaber, drooping with relief.

Anakin noticed your frazzled look and sat up on his elbows, "What's wrong?" he grinned wickedly. "Has Master Yoda banished you and now you've come to exact your revenge on the spoiled Princeling?" Obi-Wan smacked Anakin's arm, but looked up at you with a small, concerned sort of smile.

Your stomach flipped and you had the urge to smile stupidly back. Something seemed so different about the Prince today. Instead, you close your eyes and rubbed at your temples. "Anakin.." you sighed and kept your eyes shut. Your mind flashed back to Obi-Wan's smile, the sun shining on him through the glass ceiling, making his hair shine almost golden. His expression looked genuinely happy for once. Behind him swayed the dark green trees, and peeking through their needles: a pair of startlingly yellow eyes.

You ignited your saber at the same time as the blaster shot struck the centre of your stomach, burning straight through your robes. Your knees buckled and you fell to the warm grass, clutching at your middle. You could hear Anakin shouting and the sound of lightsabers clashing. As you tipped over sideways, you wondered what sort of Sith carried a blaster. You tried to will yourself to stand, but that one blast had clearly wrecked your abdominal muscles and you were quickly bleeding out. Someone was speaking to you, shouting really. They slapped at the side of your face, and pressed down on your stomach. You grunted in pain, and blinked heavily up at the person.

Obi-Wan hovered above you, his mouth moving rapidly but all you could hear was the buzzing of white noise in your ears. You used the last of your strength to brush your hand across his cheek, "Go", you croaked, "I'm alright, go." You couldn't even hear your own voice, you felt the words leave your lips however, and hoped the Prince could hear you.

Obi-Wan's face constricted in pain, and your hand dropped down. He was saying something again, lips moving silently. All you could focus on was the dark streak of blood you'd left on his cheek.

So this is for @propertyofpoeandbucky’s writing challenge!

Poe Dameron/Reader, Modern AU

My prompt was: We hate each other but you’ve also made it your personal mission to make me smile with your dumb pick-up lines.

I did modify the prompt a bit, mostly because I found this pick up line about appendicitis, and I just rolled with it lol. I hope no one minds!

NOTE: There is very minimal mention of hospitals, minimal discussion of surgery , and discussion of appendicitis. (Also I am not a doctor, I’ve just seen Grey’s Anatomy)

“Hey, babe?”

You looked up from your book to meet Poe’s gaze where he lay scrunched under the covers of your bed, BB8 curled up at his feet. “Yeah?”

“My stomach hurts really bad,” he said, rubbing one hand across his tired eyes.

“Oh, really? Have you seen the doctor lately?” you asked, setting your book on the bedside table, and laying down next to him.

“No, not since my last physical,” Poe sighed. “Guess I’ll go to the walk in tomorrow.”

You hummed quietly, already falling asleep. “Good idea, ‘cause I think you’re lacking some Vitamin Me.”

Poe giggled, “I’m serious! My stomach really hurts, y/n! What if something’s wrong with me?”

“Don’t worry Poe,” you said, slinging an arm around him and rubbing his back, “I’m sure it’s just a belly ache from all the junk you ate before bed.”

Poe relaxed into your touch, “You’re probably right. Goodnight love.”

“‘Night.”

The next morning you woke early with your alarm, and got ready as usual. BB8 followed you sleepily around the house, and nosed at your ankles as you brushed your teeth. Just when you were on your way out, Poe emerged from the bedroom, holding his middle.

“Stomach still feels messed up,” he complained, joining you at the door.

“Want me to run to the store and grab some flu medicine?” you offered, but Poe waved dismissively.

“Nah, you’ll be late. I can manage,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“Alright if you say so. I’ll see you-“

Poe cut you off with a shout. “Hey! Tie your shoes!”

You looked down at your zip up boots in confusion and then back up at Poe.

“I don’t want you falling for anyone else,” he finished with a smirk.

You groaned and slammed the door behind you.

——

10:34 am

POE: for some reason, i was feeling a little off today. but when you came along, you definitely turned me on

10:51 am

ME: ughhh, shut up you cheeseball

——

At eleven thirty, your phone rang.

“Hello, Y/F/N speaking,” you said distractedly into the receiver, organizing the stack of papers on your desk.

“Hey babe,” Poe replied cheerfully.

“Poe? Look, I’m sorry you’re home sick. Any other day I would be perfectly happy to stay home and take care of you, but I really need to finish this proposal by tomorrow. So I’m a little busy,” you said with mild frustration.

“Yeah I know you’re really busy, I just need to ask you a quick question,” you could tell from his tone that your boyfriend was not at all phased by your clipped words.

“Alright, what is it?”

“Can you take me to the hospital? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.” Poe said, trying to keep from laughing.

“Are you serious, Poe Dameron? I don’t have time for these stupid lines right now,” you huffed.

“Okay no more lines,” Poe agreed. “But could you actually come take me to the hospital? I think I might have appendicitis.”

An hour later, you and Poe sat in a hospital room as the doctor explained the situation to you.

“Well it’s definitely appendicitis. We’ll have to get you prepped right away for emergency surgery,” she said and handed you a clipboard of forms to fill out before leaving.

“Good thing I just bought life insurance..” Poe said quietly, and you looked at him, wide eyed. “Because I saw you and my heart stopped!” He winked, and you burst in to tears.

“Hey, don’t cry, appendicitis is super common. I’ll be fine,” Poe said, reaching for your hand.

“Why are you the one comforting me?” you groaned, rubbing angrily at your tears. “I’m sorry Poe, I should’ve taken you more seriously this morning. If your appendix had burst..”

Poe sighed and winced as you leaned into his side, but did his best to ignore the searing pain in his gut. “It’s okay, y/n, really. Even I thought it was just a touch of the flu,” he shrugged.

You looked up at him through watery eyes, “You could barely move when I came to get you!”

Poe pressed a comforting kiss to your forehead, “Well if you insist on feeling guilty, you can make it up to me by nursing me back to health.”

Your tears slowed as you and Poe waited for someone to come get him. Soon the nurses came to take Poe to be prepped for surgery. Before he was wheeled away, you kissed him lightly, “I love you, I’ll see you soon.”

Poe smiled and touched your cheek, “Hey, y/n? Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.”

You sputtered a slightly wet laugh and kissed him again. “I love you, you stupid cheeseball.”

“I love you too,” he said, and then he was rolled off down the hallway.

A few hours later, Poe drowsily opened his eyes. You were slumped down in a chair, flipping through a magazine.

“Am I in heaven? Because you look like an angel,” he murmured. You jumped up and leaned over the side of the bed to wrap your arms around him.