Tired & Older
I may look young but
I am tired and old
Wiser
When I say I am tired
What I mean is
I am aware of my body
More than ever before
I can feel trauma in my chest
Womb, hips, back
I can feel heart-mending energy
Revolving from shoulder to shoulder
It is much too apparent to ignore
Like before
When I’d down cups of whiskey
Thrash about on dance floors
Fall onto lips and dicks
Searching for acceptance when
My spirit was lost and wavering
Washed up by Whitening soap
My diasporic dysphoria
Was and is still painful
Sometimes I miss that reckless gurl
Prancing about in ignorance
Nothing hurt
Because I didn’t know I was hurting
That I’ve been hurting
For centuries
And when the night came
When I was rattled by the dark,
body sprawled upon the Earth,
pleading with my ancestors
Just take me home
I am ready to die
I am ready to leave this place
It was there I learned
such a forgiving thing called Love
