#bagarete

Okay first of all I’m just gonna let y’all know this gets gory as hell

I assume this is in re this post Also this story is gonna get long but that’s because I really want to tell it well and do it justice

Okay so first of all fear isn’t quite the right word for my story. I kind of, had gone past my emotional range by this point. But it does support the “Laughter is the Brain’s Blue Screen of Death” point. Anyway here goes.

I’m an undergraduate studying Zoology, so part of my degree involves lab dissections. I’d done a few (Worm, Fish, Frog, Bird) already but for this dissection we were dissecting mammals. Specifically a bunch of rats. 

Now I don’t know the background but I know the department got these rats free, already dead and frozen. I’m guessing they were lab rats because their insides showed signs of stress (black hearts, enlarged spleens, etc) and they’d been gassed (their lungs were in shreds, likely CO2 was the gas).

Anyway, as soon as we cut open these rats a wall of smell hits us. Unless you’ve ever got an up-close whiff of a rotting body I don’t know how to describe it. The rats were sterile but freezing will wreck you cell structure so they were a little... liquefied so the decomposition smell was mixing with the intestinal smell.

Now I have allergies right? So my nose is almost always blocked (dust is everywhere). This means that my nose works in overdrive to compensate. You know what doesn’t have a lot of dust? Sterile, rigorously cleaned laboratories. So my nose is fully unblocked for this, while still working in overdrive. So I... do not handle the smell very well.

Within seconds of smelling the smell the backs of my knees and my forehead are both wet with sweat. I’m dizzy and nauseous (bordering on dry heave) and the adrenaline gives me pinpoint vision (like when you’re about to pass out). My body has decided that I’ve either been poisoned or I’m about to get murdered so it’s getting ready to heave and run at the slightest provocation.

But I’m a trooper and a scientist and I’ll be damned if I back down now, so I soldier on. My lab partner is less affected so she does most of the rummaging around while I hold open the rat at a distance. It works as long as I stay far enough away from the smell.

Until we get to the head. You see, we need to examine its brain. Which is in its skull. Which is still attached to its body. One giant pair of scissors later and we have the head by itself. Problem is we need to crack the skull, and to do that we need to remove it’s skin and fur. So my lab partner tries to cut it off with a scalpel but, surprisingly enough, the skin is really good at sticking to the body.

So.. long story short. I rip it off with my hands. I ripped a rat’s face off with my hands. And it this point, I’ve gone so far past emotional responses, I am so far out of my comfort zone, my body is loosing it’s shit because it’s been telling me to run for the last two hours and I’m still not doing it, and my brain just goes completely blank. And I start laughing, because this situation is insane, and what I’m doing is insane, and the only response I have left is to laugh. I just... can’t help myself. I’m so detached from reality at this point and the situation so bizarre that I ca’t help but laugh.

And that is how I know that laughing is the equivalent of the Blue Screen of Death. 

As a side note, no one is quite sure why we laugh, but we think it’s to show other people we’re okay. So for example you laugh when you hurt yourself or you’re upset or when your committing atrocities against dead lab rats to show the people around you that you’re coping.

Also I would like to point out that laughter is definitely a coping mechanism for trauma and grief. If you see people laughing in sad or scary situations they’re often trying to cope. This especially goes for grief. (This isn’t me speaking it’s a grief counsellor... someone got murdered at my old school a couple years back and that was what they said, people laugh to heal, don’t lash out at them for doing that. They’re just, recovering a bit faster than you, which is okay)

bagarete said: joking aside, have fun playing me:a !!! when i saving enough to buy a new pc im joining u ^^

bagarete said:Oh i realize that maybe you just reblogging that meme and it is not an ask game or anything. Oh well. I love your blog btw, number one ME news blog for me, you are awesome.

lol! that’s ok dont worry, I love your reasons for the fact that you’d be a Reaper ◕‿  ◕ thanku very much, that’s so sweet of you ❤

thank you!