#baftas

What a lot of ppl don’t understand about mental illness or neurological conditions is that you are experiencing non stop moral injury bc you are constantly being misunderstood by ppl and accidentally hurting ppl or making them uncomfortable. Our brains give us urges to react a certain way or do compulsions and that’s why we behave the way we do. It’s like trying to resist the urge to scratch an itch—you can try to suppress it and may successfully resist the urge but it doesn’t always work and sometimes it just happens anyway. That’s why it bothers me so much when ppl act like we are just using our symptoms as an excuse to get away with inappropriate behavior bc I am constantly being triggered by my own behavior and accidentally triggering other ppl and it’s really traumatizing to go through that. You can never truly relax bc you’re always expecting ppl to misunderstand, dehumanize, and scapegoat you. It leads to really bad trust issues bc you don’t know if someone will be accepting and empathetic or if they will try to weaponize your symptoms to assassinate your character and destroy your life. I have severe betrayal trauma now.