#baezil

Most times, such things either meant he'd discovered something exciting and could hardly wait to say something or, if Baezil was nervous about something it likely wasn't anything too major or, Thistles figured, he would have heard about it much earlier. Still, he ran a mental checklist to see if he'd forgotten to do something in order or had put something back on the incorrect shelf. In the end, he decided it'd be better simply to talk to Baezil than to try and guess what might be the matter.

"Hectic day?"

"No—" Baezil stood back up quickly and straightened himself out, again, and tugged his tunic down a little as if it didn't fit him properly. It did, he just still wasn't used to how it sat on him. And, despite that, he refused any options to alter it further. "No, today was fine. Completely fine. I was just, ah, thinking about something— Something I'd like to talk with you about." He briefly smiled, which just barely concealed his nervousness for a moment. "Ah, but— How are you? How was your day?"

Thistles smiled in return, but took note of all the little nervous things Baezil was doing and furrowed his brows slightly, "My day was all right; nothing out of the ordinary happened, so I have no interesting stories to tell, I'm afraid." He stepped closer to Baezil and gestured to where he had been sitting, "Would you like to sit again, and you can tell me what it is you were thinking about, yes? It's clearly something causing you a bit of—I'm not sure if distress is the correct word, but you do seem a bit nervous. Perhaps I can assist?"

"I was just, ah, thinking..." Baezil sat back down on the end of the bed and folded his hands on his lap, looking at the floor for a moment. "Maybe I'm just excited but, ah—" He looked back up at Thistles, furrowing his brows lightly. "Have you ever wanted— Would you ever want to be a father?"

"I—" he blinked, not sure of quite what to say, "I suppose I technically—if inadvertently—was with Raw, though I was not aware of it until not too long ago. Were you thinking of something a bit different? Ah—have you found a young Chiss while visiting the station that could use some guidance?" Thistles wasn't joking, oddly, as he recalled occasionally having to remind Baezil that he could not always just adopt Chiss he felt needed a father figure, "Have you been down to the station today?"

"N— No, no. Nothing like that. Not quite," Baezil said and then got quiet for a moment. "I was thinking more of— Well, since we're together, in the official sense— And I don't mean this for right now, I was just wondering—" He takes another breath, trying not to continue interrupting himself. "Would you maybe be interested in...adoption? In the future? A child? A small one?"

"Oh! For a moment, I thought you were going to suggest figuring out a way to—" he stopped and scratched the side of his head, "—do something to have a child that shared both of our genetic material or something to that effect, which I always assumed would be rather expensive! You are figuring, I assume, that we will have the energy to deal with a small child, yes?" Thistles smiled a tiny bit at Baezil. He wasn't sure what he'd expected Baezil to ask initially, but it wasn't exactly that! "If it is something you would truly wish to do, I would be happy to. Perhaps we should see how babysitting goes to test?"

Baezil stared at Thistles for a moment upon hearing the first part. It was nowhere near anything he considered at any point and perhaps he'd been underestimating his husband's creativity. "I didn't...consider that as an option. But, ah, I wouldn't wish to pass my...defects on. That also just sounds very complicated." He chuckles lightly, nervously. "A-adoption would be better, I think, and I'm happy to hear that you are considering it. And, yes, no rushing on this, of course."

Thistles frowned at that. "You do not have defects, Aezi—it is equally as possible that some of your quirks and behaviors are the product of how you were raised and are not innate. It—ah—I apologize if the suggestion sounded strange, however, it is something I recall Darth Aculeatus having done, though it did require a woman to carry the child to term, of course. What was implanted into her was engineered previously; they were even able to choose sex and physical traits, as I recall." He stopped, thinking about that odd situation for a moment. "If you would prefer to adopt instead of going that route, however, that is also acceptable."

"...Yes, I wouldn't assume either of us would carry it," Baezil stated quietly, while still considering the engineering route. He straightened up a bit and just stared ahead for a moment, thinking. "I don't know now. I mean— It would be nice if we could have a child that shared our traits. But my daughter was...is afflicted."

"But nobody else in your family is, as far as I am aware." Thistles turned to face Baezil a bit better. "It is very likely that it was simply an…unfortunate accident that that happened. I am certain, if they can engineer so many traits, it could be made certain that that would not happen again." He smiled at Baezil, finally remembering to stop frowning. "It is not something that needs to be decided now, though; we can look into both options further, if you would like."

"If it's safe to change things like that..." Baezil frowned lightly before looking back up at Thistles. "Thank you for adding that to the options, though. I do like the idea of it."

"I cannot imagine we could not require 'not Force sensitive' as a trait." He smiled at Baezil. "…ah…if they know how to do that, I suppose! This is what had you so nervous? Did you feel I would not find the suggestion realistic?"

"That would be the only thing required. I don't want to exile another child..." Baezil exhaled and flopped back onto the bed. He nodded after a moment. "You hadn't seemed very fond of the idea before, although those were more hypothetical discussions."

"It is—hm." Thistles laid down next to Baezil. "I do not know what I wasn't fond of the idea, it just seemed as though it would require a lot of changes that it did not seem either of us particularly wished to make at the time, such as scaling back on work or travel. Things are a bit more settled now," he shifted to look at Baezil and propped himself up on his elbow, "so it does not seem as though it would be as impossible to manage, I suppose. I—ah—I suppose it would still sometimes feel a bit impossible, but would not actually be so."

Baezil nodded to Thistles. "I agree. I think the cabin—our home—is what helped in that. It's a permanent place; it doesn't move around. I think that's the first time I felt like I was home and, especially by your side, settled. I think we could do it."

"I think it would work, and we are both reasonably stable people, I think." Thistles reached over to brush Baezil's hair out of his face. "And you have experience in this sort of thing; moreso than I do, at any rate. I don't think we'd find it to be overly difficult."

"I think it would be significantly easier than when I did it. Firstly, I'm not sixteen. Secondly, it would be both of us and not just myself, alone, for most of it."

"I think not being sixteen and having a partner with you would help immensely!" Thistles said with a small laugh. "I'm sure there will be some difficulties—there always are—but I also believe we are well-equipped to deal with such things; you have experience already, and I will quickly learn."

Baezil scooted over closer to Thistles. "I'm really happy about that. We could even also adopt," he added, a little jokingly...sort of.

"If you would like to do both, I would be open to the idea."

Baezil blinked and stared at Thistles for a moment in disbelief. He then removed one of his gloves and reached up to feel his husband's head, furrowing his brows. "You aren't feverish."

Thistles shook his head, "I am not. It—" he paused "—it's more that it's something I know makes you happy and something I know you have wanted for some time, yes? I want many of the same things you want, especially if they make you content and fulfilled."

"I did want a family, it just didn't work...very well the first time. I think I just wasn't really expecting you to be as open to the idea as you are now?"

"Can you think of a reason I would not be open to the idea of helping you achieve something you have wanted for most of your life? I would only disagree if I thought you were suggesting something we could not handle."

"I don't know." Baezil shook his head lightly. "I want you to be happy, too, Thistl. We're in this together."

"I am happiest when you are happiest, and I have always wanted to see you achieve the things you wish to achieve," he smiled at Baezil, "We are in this together and I would not suggest things that I thought might drive us apart."

"All right. If that's how you truly feel," Baezil said with a little smile. "I just don't want to be selfish in this."